In this You Tube video, researcher, author, and speaker Shaunti Feldhahn gives a tip on how to have a happier marriage. It’s a matter of being boss of your feelings, rather than letting them boss you around. This tip is based on her book, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. It is also based on a huge study that was conducted with over a thousand “highly happy couples.”
After all, why should you focus so much on the negative aspects of marriage? Why not instead gain wisdom couples who are happily married? That’s the perspective that Shaunti is coming from. As Shaunti says, “If we want to change, improve, or be inspired, we have to study the bright spots, not just the problems.”
Be the Boss of Your Feelings
“In Secret #5 to a highly happy marriage, author Shaunti Feldhahn explains how happy couples talk themselves out of being mad. They actually change their feelings by choosing to stop a train of thought that could cause a conflict to spiral unnecessarily.” They boss their feelings, rather than allowing their feelings to take them places they shouldn’t. Highly happy couples don’t allow their feelings to take control. They control them.
It’s not that these couples evade important issues. Actually, that’s not the case that is being made at all. These happy couples have applied the biblical principle of Philippians 4:8-9. They focus on what is good. What’s best of all is that it puts the “bad” into better perspective. It’s easier to deal with them that way. They don’t allow themselves to dwell upon the negative. Instead they deal with it in healthier ways. Again, they boss their feelings into going in healthier directions.
Watch, learn, and enjoy! Lastly, if it’s possible, obtain the book for your own study of marriage. You’ll see that it is packed full of wisdom. And the best part is that you will gain much from that, which you apply to your marriage. But you have to learn first, and then apply.
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