“How can married Christians, deal graciously with problematic siblings and sibling in laws?”
That is the question we’d like to address.
Each year, we receive quite a few emails, sent to us from those who are married. Many of them are encountering difficulties in dealing with sibling in laws. The same is true of those with interfering sisters and brothers. Most of these siblings are very demanding, and mean-spirited. They can also be vindictive in how they act towards the spouse of their sibling and cause trouble.
Others stay to visit too long so the spouse feels imposed upon and worn out.
Other siblings expect financial support from their older male sibling. They expect him to physically help them repeatedly at the sacrifice of his own family.
Spouse VS. In Law Siblings
In each case the one spouse is “at odds” with the other spouse because of the bond that siblings have had with each other through the years.
To help you with this issue, we found a few online articles that may give you some insight. We encourage you to pray and glean through the information —applying what you can use and disregarding the rest. Please click onto the links provided below to read.
Posted on the web site of the ministry of Todayschristianwoman.com:
According to an article posted on Todayschristianwoman.com, “He said, ‘She wouldn’t let me be myself.’ She said ‘He didn’t fit in with my family.'”:
• IN LAW CONFLICT: He Said … She Said
From the ministry of Focus on the Family here is some advice to consider when you spend time together in family gatherings and holiday situations:
— ALSO —
Video Regarding Dealing With Siblings
And here’s a New Life Ministries Youtube video you might find helpful. It deals with this subject where Dr Steve Arterburn, Dr Jill Hubbard, and Rev. Milan Yerkovich answer the question, “How do we handle a controlling sister in law who thinks she’s mom”:
Scriptural Reminder
When you have to deal in-law and sibling issues, bear in mind what is written to us in the Bible in 1 Peter 3:8-17:
“All of you are to be like-minded, sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer,but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.’
“Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.’ But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.“
We welcome any wise, Biblically based advice you could give to help those who are having marital problems because of sibling in laws or extended family members. If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Dealing with In Laws & Parents
I am indeed glad to be part of this group and consider it to be a most influential discussion.
I was married 12 years and his sister interfered in my marriage daily, for my husband to leave me when he did leave me. She made sure that I couldn’t get any money out of the bank. He stayed with his sister and she told him how much she hated me. We got back together and he got sick and his sister asked me to have him cremated. She was mad that he didn’t leave his insurance money to her and I asked him if he wanted to be cremated. He told both of us no.
He would not speak up to his sister; it was as if she had something on him. I have not spoken to his family since his funeral 10 years ago. Thank God they went away and left me alone. I want to get married again but not if his mom is alive and he has sisters. The family needs to stay in their place, and out of the marriages of other family members.