“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
It is important for born again Christians, to know that there is a huge difference between the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the condemnation of the enemy of our faith. It can affect how we approach life.
Please, let there be no confusion. The Holy Spirit works to convict us to push away from the ensnarement of sin (doing that which is wrong). And He works in drawing us towards God in freedom. The condemning spirit of the enemy of our faith works to push us away from God. This is done in shame and condemnation. That way we are more prone in hopelessness, to continue to do what we should NOT.
Concerning Condemnation:
“There are two feelings we can experience after we’ve sinned. One is conviction and the other is condemnation. Conviction is from the Holy Spirit, prompting us to confess and be restored to fellowship so God can continue to bless us. Its purpose is to draw us closer to God. Condemnation is from Satan, trying to convince us that we’re no good, and that God will never forgive us. It’s purpose is to keep us away from God by making us feel guilty.
“As soon as we confess our sins, we’re forgiven and the sin is forgotten as God immediately purifies us from all unrighteousness (See: 1 John 1:9). Any bad feelings we have after that are feelings of guilt that come from Satan.
“So if you’re being drawn closer to God, you’re feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit. But if you feel like hiding from God and begin to doubt His love for you, you’re feeling condemnation from the devil. Rebuke those feelings in the name of Jesus. Resist the devil and he’ll flee from you” (see: James 4:7-10). (Jack Kelley, of Grace Thru Faith Ministries)
Furthermore, concerning condemnation:
“There is a simple test to see if you experiencing condemnation by the enemy or gentle conviction by the Holy Spirit. Guilt and/or shame will draw you further away from the Lord deeper into sin. Conviction is the Holy Spirit nudging us to confess and turn from the sin as He provides the power to overcome” (See: Romans 2:4; Romans 8:31-39; Philippians 4:13; Luke 22:31-32). (Robin Samson of Heart of Wisdom.com)
To help you further to discern the difference between the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the condemnation of the devil, we are going to share with you additional principles and scriptural references that we believe will empower you in your spiritual life, your personal life, as well as your married life.
Why is this relevant to marriage? It is relevant because the condemning method of the enemy of our faith works to draw us away from the healthy thinking and actions that God wants us to embrace. And when that happens our marriages are in peril of being weakened and destroyed. When we draw towards God, we have the power of the Holy Spirit working within us to do what is good, noble, right and pure.
The following is a short study of what the Bible tells us about the character of God and the character of enemy of our faith. We pray it will inspire you to dig deeper into studying the Bible so you will rightly discern what is Truth both now and in the future.
CONVICTION VS CONDEMNATION
1. Tone of the enemy of our faith:
Accusing, nagging —it’s a mocking voice generating fear and shame causing confusion, projecting a sense of rejection and ministering questions like: “Has God indeed said?” He’s the father of lies (see: John 8:44). He’s deceitful, pretending to know what’s best for you.
TONE OF VOICE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT:
Loving voice of our Father, imploring, beseeching and urging our return to Him …as we’re told in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me all ye who are weary and heavy laden…” And in John 12:32 where Jesus says, “…I will draw all men to myself.”
2. The enemy of our faith’s messages are vague and general:
He generates a blanketing, choking sense of general guilt, as though everything is wrong and there’s no one action you can really take to overcome. Often a sense of complete hopelessness and weakness prevails. The enemy attacks you in general. You can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. You feel helpless and hopeless focusing on half-truths.
THE HOLY SPIRIT IS SPECIFIC:
The Spirit says, “Fix this one thing and you’ll be free.” He commands you to take one specific action — to make a choice of your will. “And you must not turn aside, for then you would go after futile things which cannot profit or deliver because they’re futile. For the Lord will not abandon His people.” (1 Samuel 12:21-22) The conviction of the Spirit is specific to the sin. The Spirit defends you against your over-sensitive conscience. He draws you to God.
3. Discouragement and condemnation is the message of the enemy of our faith:
He centers his attack on you as a person and cuts your self-image to ribbons. He pushes to agitate and provokes you to be disobedient to God (see: 1 Chronicles 21:1). And then the enemy tempts you in areas of weakness. The enemy tells you that you are weak and not one of God’s chosen ones. He tries to ruin you without cause (see: Job 2:3).
He tries to deceive. (See: Matthew 4:3; 1 Thessalonians 3:5; Revelations 12:9) Also, the enemy continually accuses you before God. (see: Revelations 12:10; Revelations 20:3.) He is impatient and feeds anxious feelings.
The enemy schemes against you by sending discouragement as flaming missiles. (See: Ephesians 6:16.) He tries to make crooked the straight ways of the Lord (see: Acts 13:10).
ENCOURAGEMENT IS GOD’S MESSAGE:
He encourages you to rely on God’s power, not on your own righteousness or strength (see: 1 Thessalonians 5:24; 2 Chronicles 20:15; 2 Chronicles 16:9; Psalm 23; Psalm 37:5-7; Proverbs 3:24-26). The Holy Spirit encourages you to be anxious for nothing and most times doesn’t give a deadline. He comforts and encourages the broken hearted and proclaims liberty for the captives (see: Isaiah 61:1). He even makes intercession for you (see: Romans 8:26).
4. “Remember all the past” says the enemy:
The devil replays the videos of your past memories of sin and guilt and shame. He draws up accounts of your past sins, failures and offenses that are under the blood.
“FORGET THE PAST!” IS THE SPIRIT SPEAKING:
The Holy Spirit tells you your sin is forgotten, cleansed, removed, covered and put away, never to be held against you. (see: John 1:29; Psalm 103:12; 1 John 1:7-9; Psalm 51:7; Micah 7:19; Hebrews 10:17; Philippians 3:13; Matthew 12:31; Psalm 34:7-8)
Condemnation is the Enemy’s Message
5. The message of the enemy is rejection and condemnation by the holiness of God:
He disguises himself as an agent of holiness and an angel of light (see: 2 Corinthians 11:14). He produces the feeling that God has rejected you as unworthy and unholy. Satan speaks of God as your judge and you as a miserable sinner. He emphasizes “good works” instead of God’s grace. The message is to “do, do, do” and yet you can never “do” enough to “measure up.”
OUR HOLY SPIRIT DRAWS YOU TO GOD:
There is a pull of attraction towards God. He generates in you an unexpected kindness, love, long-suffering, forgiveness and new beginning with God’s help. The Holy Spirit speaks of your permanent relationship with God, drawing you to the Son of your Father (see: Joshua 1:8-9). The emphasis is to experience and live in God’s grace and forgiveness! He desires all men to be saved to come to the knowledge of truth (see: 1 Timothy 2:4).
6. The enemy brings negative scriptures to mind:
As Shakespeare said, “The devil knows how to quote scripture to his purpose!” Satan threatens judgment and says, “Grace is denied because you didn’t fulfill the conditions!” He uses the Law against you to justify yourself and rely on your own righteousness (see: Romans 10:3; Galatians 2:16). He comes and sometimes takes away the word which has been sown (see: Mark 4:15).
THE HOLY SPIRIT BRINGS POSITIVE SCRIPTURES TO YOUR REMEMBRANCE:
(See: John 14:26.) He speaks of the unchanging nature of God and of His steadfast love towards us. He confirms that God remains faithful to His covenant (see 1 John 1:9; Hebrews 10:23) even when we prove faithless for a time (see: 1 John 3:20). The Spirit reassures us that there is no law that is effective against those who rely on Christ’s work (see: Colossians 2:14, Psalm 25:8-14; Psalm 40:1-5). He assures us that He is our help and strength (see: Psalm 121 and Psalm 146).
7. The enemy works to isolate you:
Suggestions are sown that cause you to withdraw from other Christians and works on you to think that they reject you. In your isolation, you then feel lonely, hurt, unworthy, rejected by others and angry (see: 2 Corinthians 4:4). He works to divide you from others.
THE HOLY SPIRIT DRAWS YOU INTO FELLOWSHIP:
The Spirit sends others to minister to you in love. As a result, you learn to accept other’s words of encouragement and to appreciate one another and their ministry to you. (See: 1 John 1:3; Hebrews 12:1-2; Hebrews 10:24-25.) He sends others to open your eyes to turn from darkness to light so you may receive forgiveness (see: Acts 26:18). He works to unite us in love with other believers (see Luke 22:31-32).
8. The enemy of our faith emphasizes feelings that lead you to feel condemnation:
He tells you that the way you feel is the way things really are, even if facts differ (i.e. feelings are truth!). Your feelings of guilt, despair, hopelessness and doubt of God’s love for you are made to seem real. He encourages feelings of frustration at God’s unfairness and partiality and focuses on half-truths to cajole and control you and acts as a stumbling block to set your mind on your interests above God’s.
OUR HOLY SPIRIT STATES FACTS AND TRUTHS ABOUT YOU AND GOD:
Feelings will follow faith in these facts! The Holy Spirit gives you correct doctrine and the whole truth. Learn your theology to avoid being fooled by Satan (see: Romans 16:19). The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth to move, influence and inspire you (see: John 16:13; Matthew 10:26-28; Psalm 19; John 8:45). He will also guide you to set your mind on God’s interest instead of man’s interests. (See: Matthew 16:23; Colossians 3:1-2.)
9. The attack and condemnation of the enemy is destructive and demoralizing:
The object is to get you to curse God to his face (see: Job 2:5). He fills your heart to lie (see: Acts 5:3). He encourages selfish ambition, arrogance, lying, bitterness, jealousy and disorder (see: James 3:13-16).
THE HOLY SPIRIT DISCIPLINES IN JUSTICE:
He disciplines as a loving Heavenly Father (see: Proverbs 3:11-12; Job 5:17; 1 Corinthians 11:32; Hebrews 12:6-11). His wisdom is pure then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy, and unwavering without hypocrisy (see: James 3:17).
10. The Devil accuses:
He accuses you of having committed the unpardonable sin (see: Zechariah 3:1). The adversary is quick to judge and quick to accuse (see: Revelation 12:10).
OUR HOLY SPIRIT REASSURES YOU OF GOD’S FORGIVENESS:
He states the fact that it is Christ who saved you and continues to keep you (see: 2 Chronicles 34:27-28; 1 John 1:9; Psalm 103.8-13; John 3:17). He reminds you that God is patient and long-suffering (see: Numbers 14:18; Isaiah 30:18).
THINK ABOUT THIS CONDEMNATION:
What is the purpose of the enemy of our faith in accusing and condemning us? It is to draw us away from God and to render us helpless to ourselves and to others! What is the purpose of the Holy Spirit convicting us? It is to draw us to God and to each other and to help us to be all we can be!
The Enemy:
• Speaks in half-truths
– Pushes, agitates
• Emphasizes: “Do, do do…”
– Divides people
• Encourages our willfulness against God’s ways
– Tells us we are inadequate
• Encourages complaining
OUR HOLY SPIRIT:
• Is about the whole truth
– Wants us to be anxious for nothing
• Emphasizes: “Be, be, be…”
– Unites people
• Emphasizes the will of our Heavenly Father
– Empowers us
• Encourages contentment
The emphasis is that we’re to study all that God is in the Bible. We need to keep in mind that God is strong and He does not tolerate sin. He is our judge, but He is a fair judge who punishes and disciplines us, always wanting to draw us to Himself —not push us away from Himself. The devil’s purpose is to pull us away from God and his people. God is straightforward and direct. The enemy is sneaky.
Release Condemnation and Embrace God
It’s important to note something Gary Thomas wrote, based on scripture:
“Whenever you hear the whispers that you are condemned, and must accept ‘punishment’ for your disobedience (financial wreckage, vocational failure, sexual frustration) remind yourself of Romans 8:1: ‘There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Jesus paid the price so we don’t have to.'”
As you go with God, you will push away that, which you should release and embrace that which you should hold onto through his guidance —with His strength.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article. It is a compilation of points put together after years of personal study of scripture, sermons heard, and insights given through the years from many others who have also studied this subject.
— ALSO —
Below are several web site links to articles giving additional insight into this subject of condemnation vs conviction that we pray will help you further as you read:
• CONDEMNATION VERSUS CONVICTION
Plus:
• HOW TO KNOW IF GOD’S THE ONE WHO’S SPEAKING
Filed under: Spiritual Matters
When I was 12 years old, I promised God that I would stop watching porn and if I did it again He could throw me into hell because I deserved it. Now I am very scared and trembling because a few days after that I fell into that same sin. Am I now doomed to hellfire forever? I’m so scared!
Mark, If you have confessed your sin to God and have asked for His forgiveness, then based on scripture (1 John 1:9) – NO, you are not condemned to hellfire forever. Now, we should never take lightly the promises we make to God, but if God sent everyone to hell who went back on a promise 50% of the earth would be empty. What has happened is that satan is keeping you bound up in fear and condemnation so that you don’t focus on your real problem – your addiction to pornography. Satan knows that if he can keep your eyes off the “real” problem then you will never become victorious.
Whenever we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit over some behavior or action it is not God’s intention to scare us away from Him, but rather to draw us closer to Him to find the answers for the “sin that so easily besets us.” You see, I understand this road you’re on because I was there for so many years of my life. I too got hooked on porn when I was 12 years old and battled the addiction for over 30 years. There were long stretches of time that I was “clean and sober,” but then I’d slide back into it again. And there were times I felt just like you, that God could never forgive a repeat offender like myself and I must be doomed to hell (all lies from the devil).
Here’s a few things you can do to start to get victory over your sin: 1) When the urge comes over you to indulge in porn, say out loud – “Satan, you have no control over me! I claim the blood of Jesus Christ who shed His blood for me. You and your demons go back to hell where you belong! You do not control my mind, Jesus does!” 2) Pick up your Bible and begin reading verses on forgiveness and mercy and also strength and courage…and putting on the full armor of God. 3) Find another Christian man who you trust to confess your sin to and ask him to hold you accountable. This was SO important in my personal deliverance from this sin because once we confess it to another person our sin is in the light (no longer in darkness) and they can help you develop a strategy to keep you away from porn. 4) Understand that the addiction to pornography is not easy to break. Studies have found that it is as hard, if not harder, to break the addiction to porn than it is from Crack Cocaine. 5) IF and WHEN YOU FALL…and look at porn again, take it to God and confess it for what it is – sin against Him. Believe me, he knows you better than you do – He created you – and because He’s your loving heavenly father He wants the best for you. Then ask Him again to help you fight off the temptation because you want to stay pure. As long as you sincerely strive to please God you CANNOT exhaust His grace, mercy and forgiveness. 6) Go back into our web site and into the section “Pornography & Cybersex” and start reading articles, testimonies and look in the resource section there.I’m willing to bet God will show you some practical things you can do to begin to slay this dragon in your life.
I hope this helps you, Mark. My prayers are with you. Yoou are NOT ALONE in this battle. There are others who come to this web site who will be praying for you, too. ~ Steve Wright, Marriage Missions International
I don’t even know how to begin. My heart is filled with worry, anxiety and condemnation over all the things I’ve done against God and my marriage. I have sinned greatly. I feel the condemnation.
I want to believe that God has forgiven me -but the condemnation of the enemy is too strong right now. And when I think how it will break my wife’s heart. I have sinned greatly. I’m asking for God’s mercy and grace.
I’m being attacked at this very moment by the devil. My Spirit in me is putting up a fight for me. This is a great message to me and my family. Thanks! God Bless.
First, I just want to thank you for the article. It’s really an eye opener. I have always thought the Lord would never forgive me for my sins and that there was absolutely nothing I could do to get away from it. In my past, before I became a born again Christian, I used to have bad habits. I was lost and had no peace with anyone, nor anything in my life, despite the wonderful relationships I had with my loved ones. I would get agitated and angry for no reason. I used to watch all kinds of porn and masturbate at least twice a week or more. I didn’t realize back then the damage I was doing to my mind. It seriously affected me mentally when I was deep into it. Nothing in my life felt right. I kept going back and forth about even the smallest things in my life and I had no rest, no peace of mind.
In November 2015 is when things started getting worse for me. I would have irrational sexual and inappropriate thoughts every second. Then I realized my mistakes and I couldn’t take the pressure that was in my mind. So I decided to attend church to seek my salvation. The next month is when I did the sinner’s prayer where I gave my life to Jesus. During that time I was not okay. My mind went out of control and I was throwing all kinds of curses unto the Lord, my savior and all His nature.
I felt bad that I wasn’t in control of my mind and that it was my fault. I had opened these doors in my mind because of my constant sinning. It has been 3 months since I gave my life to Jesus. I can tell that the Holy Spirit is doing good works to heal my mind. I’m almost at peace. I’m thankful that the Lord was able to pick me up when I was at my lowest and that He didn’t forsake me.
Hi, thank you for this article. When I first got saved I was feeling the gentle convictions of the Holy Spirit maybe four or five times over the course of three months. Then I misinterpreted scripture, developed a fear of sinning, which lead to an intense fear of judgment, and haven’t felt the convictions for abut two months now. Do you have any advice?
I need some guidance. I am a baby coming into Christ; even before I knew God I was attacked. Now that I am starting my walk with Christ things have gotten even harder. My boyfriend was assaulted earlier this month which resulted in a head trauma. Now, out of the hospital it has now become apparent where the violent outlashes are coming from with a CT scan coming back negative. With no abnormal anything in his head and brain. I played a song for him – the “Revelation Song” by Kari Jobe and he screams at his top of his lungs “holy, holy, holy” and then stops and laughs angrily. Two days ago he literally bit and broke my smartphone screen. Please, I am new to all this and need a little bit of extra guidance. I know God as my Lord and Savior and believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins and for that I know I am saved. Please, please help me.
Step away from the situation so you can hear the Lord’s voice and His assurances of who you are in Christ, alone. Plead the blood of Jesus over your whole being knowing that the blood is our complete protection. As His peace and assurance comes over you Listen and obey His voice for He will tell you what to do concerning your boyfriend. That does not mean it will be easy but it will be right! Then do it. Blessings.
What I see here, is a direct correlation between an unsaved person’s perception of life, always being distorted by the enemy, and the difference in a believer, who has the Holy Spirit to guide and direct them. The unbeliever will never be able to be anything else. Maybe his so-called ‘good’ works, which comes from Satan’s subtle power to make men/women ‘feel good’ about themselves. Which is where Satan fell to begin with; self-love, pride, condemnation of that which is truly ‘good’ in Jesus Christ.
This helped me to see how I can perceive when a person may or may not be born-again, by the works of the flesh, or the fruit of the Spirit. When there is no real spiritual communication with a person, even though they may be ‘religious’ doing ‘good works’ it still is not an indication of their salvation. For we are not redeemed through corruptible means, never redeemed through our own fleshly incentives. It is through the blood of Jesus Christ, that free gift which redeems us! Freedom can be anyones, if they just let go of themselves. No flesh shall be justified by works. Our only work is to believe the perfect work of our Redeemer. Also, darkness has no fellowship nor communication with Light.
We are children of the Light and we are to rebuke the hidden things of darkness, yet have mercy on those who want to come to repentance, guiding them with kindness and meekness. It hurts to know that one of my loved ones, who confesses they are a ‘Christian’ yet their walk is all about works and doing good for others, yet their life belies them, as their true conversation does not show forth the fruit of the Spirit. It is all about works with them. I have had to listen keenly to this other person, and the more I listen, they are religious, but lack the evidence of the Holy Spirit in their life. They subtly condemn with harsh words, always attempting to justify their control. The sociopath/narcissistic personality, which so obviously exemplifies Satan himself. May we humbly serve the Lord, and pray for those who are so cunningly deceived by themselves and by Satan.
Thank you for this post.
I am a born-again Christian of 55 years. I love the Lord and pray for all Christians the world over.
I have a serious question regarding my marriage. I am divorced so this is my second marriage. My current husband has never been married previously. During my first marriage I wasn’t walking in the spirit so I divorced. Although fornication happened during separation, I did not divorce on the grounds of fornication. I divorced because of many other differences.
Now after reading and studying God’s word, I’m confused not knowing if God accepts my current marriage or if I should have remained unmarried. Also, is my husband being held accountable for marrying me, a divorced woman? I have been asking God for an answer. If our marriage is wrong, would we need to divorce to please God or will he forgive us and allow us to be married? Please help if you can. We really want to do what’s pleasing in God’s eyes.
Are you familiar with Glynda Lomax? She gave a powerful testimony regarding the same issue of being in a 2nd marriage. Feel free to google her name and you will be able to find her blog!
I have been dating a girl for some time who currently believes that God exist and shapes the way life goes, but does not claim Christianity. I grew up a Christian my entire life so this is new for me. On occasion, she has prayed in a cathedral (catholic) without me telling her. It was during a vacation and we visited the cathedral in New York. She told me that she strangely felt at peace when we were in the cathedral. She has also told me that she wouldn’t mind the house hold and children being raised Christian if we were to marry.
While dating her, I have noticed that I constantly look at everything bad that she is doing and that doesn’t line up with the Bible. I am finding that when she has an idea about something my mind will tell me that her ideas and opinions are not coming from a Biblical point of view. All of this has left me with ruminating thoughts that has given be severe anxiety and negative feelings towards her. I love her and she loves me. I want to be able to be in a relationship with her and eventually marry her if it comes to that. From a spiritual standpoint, I would love it if she became a Christian. But I do not want to be with her, thinking that if she doesn’t become a Christian then I can’t marry her. I do not know if this extreme anxiety I am having is a sign from God that I should not be with her? I have read this verse:
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
I would just like some guidance…thank you.
What did you end up doing ??
Thank you so much for this article. I am continuing to struggle in an area I know God wants me to release. The fruits of the Spirit include self-control, and my particular struggle comes from requesting all of the gifts. Self-control eludes me in this one area. This article has helped so much. Again thank you, and God bless you and your ministry. I hope to be as useful to God one day.
I pray God helps you with your self-control, Irene. And this is my prayer: “that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11) “May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory for ever and ever.” (Hebrews 13:20-21)
Hi guys- I’m not sure how this would apply. It involves another Christian lady, which it very passionate about God. I give a lift to her granddaughter as arranged with the parents of the child. I enjoyed it as my kids go to the same school it was not a problem at all. But my husband pointed out that they are asking way to much now.- e.g. She called me the night before and asked me to please stop and collect the garden clippers from the aunt’s house on my way to collect her granddaughter, which I didn’t mind at all, I stopped there and there were cars parked in the drive way and people. (My husband’s point)
I drove to their house, which is out of the way (they insisted on paying me to sometimes collect and everyday drop off the child). I get there and she said no the child is not coming to school. (No reason was given.) (I’m not bothered by such things in the least but my husband says that’s wrong) as the arrangements were not for me to drive around to deliver things for others. But concerning a child.
My frame of mind that morning – I discovered my foster child is stealing again just before we left the house. (I haven’t had time to process the feelings- except complete disappointment and heartache) (My husband has brought to my attention that people are using me) concerning the driving. It bothers me when he points things out, but he is always a good at discernment between things. I didn’t see the wrong it but I surely have been feeling it. Especially that morning when she said the child was not coming to school.
When I got to school the child was there. I have been having this weighing on me for awhile. So eventually I couldn’t conceal how it was making me feel as I don’t hide well. I decided to let her know that my husband is not happy about this and that I was upset and disappointed but explained it was a mix of things.
She said she us hurt and is sorry and will never again ask for anything. I explained that it is okay if I’m going to the shop and having good to collect or drop the child off then it’s not out if my way. But I fear I have hurt her and that it was an emotionally driven idea. That there truly wasn’t a problem and I have made it a problem. I had to repeat the same thing to an elderly man I befriended who asks me to drop his kids off or pick them up at times same thing his daughters and sons live well – well dressed /expensive cars/all at home he drives a broken car and collects and drops off their kids. To drive there is also out of the way.
This other couple asked me to help out with a lift for their child, they live up the Rd from the school, my husband says that when they are at home they don’t take their kid to school, I have to drive am extra few miles to collect him even though up the Rd it’s an extra 16 k.
I am bothered by this gravely. I feel like I have done something wrong. They all nice people. The granny first story said to me she can’t be angry at me because as a Christian God wants her to love me even if she is hurt. I do sincerely agree but it made me feel like I wasn’t a child of God and hurt one of his children. That she will pray or me.
Hi. I nag, complain, fight with my husband to the point I make him leave me, then I break my heart.
This has happened four times now in a few years. Today he has gone again. When he’s with me I’m so self-righteous and trying to be his Holy Spirit.
Today I’m alone; I am a Christian and I believed I was walking with the Lord and in his will but reality has set in and the devil has had a field day with me and my marriage. And I feel more guilt today at my behavior. I’ve read your blog, I believe every word of it. I knew it last week, last month, but why do I repeat this habit. Please pray for my marriage – anyone who reads my comments I need the power of prayer for my situation.
Hi Margaret, I read your post here and I could not help but reply. It sounds like you and your husband are in completely different places in your Christian walk. Which is OK of course. This is true of me and my wife as well. And that’s OK too.
One of the worst things a wife can do is nag. Believe me when I tell you this. It does nothing but push your spouse away, as you have already experienced. Yes you need the power of prayer, but you also need to take a different strategy. I will illustrate this with a true story.
Christian wife, non believing husband. He likes to go to the horse races on Sundays, while she likes to go to church. The wife was in constant prayer about this… and talked to her husband, but to no avail. He asked her several times to go with him to the races, but she would say, “No, there’s gambling there… and this is not OK in the Bible.” and other words to that effect. Finally he stopped asking. In one of her prayer times, she sensed the Lord telling her, “Go with him to the races….just do it.”
So, to make a long story short she went. He was so surprised!! He said, “Why are you going now? Besides, there’s gambling there as well.” She said, I don’t want to place bets, I just want to go and see what it’s like.” So they went. And went again the following Sunday, and again after that. She found herself liking to watch these magnificent horses and the jockeys, horse and rider each a team in intense competition. She looked forward to going…. and she found a new pastime she could enjoy with her husband. Finally he said, to HER surprise, “Well, if you can go with me to the horses, I can go with you to church… just to see what it’s like.” And… after several services, he gave his heart to Jesus.
Here is an example of the wife adjusting to her husband, and trusting God to do His Work in His Way. She didn’t have to gamble, and neither did she condemn the practice and make her husband feel bad or judged. Judgement is a horrible thing in the hands of men, that is God’s place and His alone.
Clearly what you are doing now is not working. True? So, try a different tack. Make it pleasant to be around you. You don’t have to mention “Christian things” at all for a while. You can stop this habit today if you really want to. Is this an idea to consider?
Do you really believe one can lose fellowship with Father God when one has sinned? What is your standing before God and what is it based on? Mine is the righteousness of Christ Jesus His precious blood that was shed to cleanse the throne of God where I stand in Christ Jesus. Father God is consistent with what His eyes see. Just as in the tabernacle the mercy where the blood was shed for atonement keeping God’s eyes from seeing man’s rejection and foreshadowing of our Ark Jesus Christ. God cannot see through His Sons blood. Isn’t that just amazing what LOVE! The blood of bulls and goats and the children of Israel were in good standing for a year…we know have eternal fellowship with Father God b/c of His perfect shed blood for eternity! Righteousness. Ask the Lord what this gift is and how it operates for us. Isn’t the Holy Spirit convict of three things according to John 16:8, to sin, righteousness and judgment.
I truely thank the Lord almighty with your service. Truly, this article has been used to save me from the sinking ship. (GNT) 1 Peter 5:9 Be firm in your faith and resist him, because you know that other believers in all the world are going through the same kind of sufferings. May Almighty God bless you with many eye-opening revalations to other brethren, in Jesus name.
I have been dealing with condemnation for a while and this article was so on point and inspiring. Thank you for sharing Gods love