Your Everyday Influence with Your Unbelieving Spouse

Everyday Influence - Choosing Dollar Photo Young couple in cafeThis article has several purposes for being on this web site. First of all, it is to help those of you who are married to unbelievers. Or perhaps you are in a marriage where your spiritual beliefs greatly differ from one another theologically. As a result, it is causing problems —particularly with feeling lonely in your spiritual journey. You want to embrace spiritual matters with your spouse, but there is conflict in that area of your life instead. You also want to influence your spouse to embrace your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

For those who are in this position, the following question and answer, posed by the ministry of Focus on the Family, may help you sort through this issue:


“I understand now why the Bible urges us not to be ‘unequally yoked.’ My spouse and I are not on the same page spiritually, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to reconcile our differences in this area. What would you recommend?”


Please prayerfully read the advice given in the linked article below:

What Advice Do You Have for an “Unequally Yoked” Marriage?


You most likely long to find someone else who understands some of the issues you face each day with your unbelieving spouse. You believe they could possibly help you to better sort them out.

I have to say that I am not in an unequally matched marriage. I only lived in that situation for about 3 weeks. So I can’t really give you life-experience on this area of marriage. But the author of the two articles highlighted below does have this type of experience. Dineen Miller has been married for over 20 years to a man who “decided he is an atheist.” So she is someone you can probably relate to and can feel confident that her advice can help you. She knows many of the struggles of living with an unbeliever. Dineen also knows what it is like to want to daily influence a spouse to embrace faith in Jesus Christ.


Another purpose in my putting together this article for you to read is to lead you to a web site, which you may find useful. After reading the articles that are linked below, please take the time to look around the web site. You can even sign up for the newsletters, which the ministry of The Unequal Marriage makes available to be emailed to you.

I wish I could say the linked articles below, penned by Dineen Miller, are written for both wives and husbands in the unequally yoked position. I’m sorry to say that they aren’t. They’re written from a Christian wife’s perspective.

However, if you are a husband in this position, I still believe you will find some of the information helpful as you glean through them. Yes, there will be some gender differences, which will arise. But the foundational principles apply to both wives and husbands concerning your everyday influence on her or him.

Your Everyday Influence

Both linked articles posted below tackle the difficult matter of the daily influence you have on your spouse. Every spouse carries some type of influence with his or her spouse —either positive or negative. And it’s only natural that you have a daily influence upon his or her life. The manner in which you live your life is a “compelling force,” to move them to thoughts and action.

Now, as far as the everyday influence you have in your relationship with your spouse, prayerfully read the following and see what the Lord teaches you.

Please Read:

INFLUENCE: Where Do We Choose to Stand?

INFLUENCE (Part 2): What Does That Look Like?

Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.(1 Peter 2:12 ESV)

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. Yet do it with gentleness and respect.(1 Peter 3:15 ESV)

Lastly, as it Concerns Your Everyday Influence with your Spouse:

Dineen Miller wrote an article, which is posted on the web site for Today’s Christian Woman. She says,

“Our relationship changed when God gave me a new attitude toward my unbelieving husband.”

Great advice. I’ve seen this work time and time again. How I pray the insights from these articles will help you in your marriage in a positive way!

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.

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Filed under: Spiritual Matters Unbelieving Spouse

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2 responses to “Your Everyday Influence with Your Unbelieving Spouse

  1. (SA)  I have a question. My husband always chooses his family over me. How do I deal with the situation? Please help.

  2. My husband is an unbeliever. I try to live a Christ center life before him but fail so many times, especially when there’s conflict. He wants me to engage in wife swapping and I stand firm in not doing that. In turn, our marriage is at risk. I pray for guidance and for his salvation. What advice can you give?