Within this Marriage Insight, we’re giving you some of our favorite marriage advice that we’ve gathered, and have given. We encourage you to give some of yours in the Comment section below to help those who read this Insight. You never know what a difference one marriage tip can make when it is read, received, and applied! In this Insight I will give some of my favorite. In the next one Steve will give some of his.
Please prayerfully consider the advice that is given below, and use what works for your marriage:
Favorite Marriage Advice:
• Before you marry:
“Love convinces a couple that they are the greatest romance that has ever been, that no two people have ever loved as they do, and that they will sacrifice absolutely anything in order to be together. And then marriage asks them to prove it.” (Mike Mason)
There are many, many times you must prove it… one choice at a time.
• “Marriage is more than sharing a life together. It’s building a life together. What you do now is for both. And what is said now is for both. Your purpose is now is for the kingdom and giving glory to the image of God.” (Norm Wright)
It’s important to note that we are told in God’s Word to:
• “Be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1)
As you build your life together, it’s important to remember:
• “Friends don’t let friends disapprove of their marriage. Hang around with other friends and couples who support your marriage.” (Dr Pat Love)
Additional Favorite Marriage Advice:
• Take care of your marriage relationship and it will take care of you:
“It’s a sad state of affairs when we take better care of our cars and houses than we do our marriages. We change the oil, fill the tank and periodically tune up our cars. We change light bulbs, wash windows, paint walls, unplug toilets, and re-roof our houses. But what do we do to maintain our marriage? The truth is: more damage is done than repairs are made. How important is your marriage? Is it more important to you than your car or your home? Are you willing to put in the time and energy it takes to prove to your partner how valuable the relationship truly is to you?” (Dr Steve Stephens)
• Keep in mind:
“Marriage can be wonderful. It can be deeply satisfying and mutually fulfilling. But if it becomes that, it is because both partners have paid a very high price over many years to make it that way. They will have died to selfishness a thousand times. They will have had countless difficult conversations. Plus, they will have endured sleepless nights and strained days.
“They will have prayed hundreds of prayers for wisdom and patience and courage and understanding. They will have said, ‘I’m sorry’ too many times to remember. And they will have been stretched to the breaking point often enough to have learned that, unless Christ is at the center of both their lives, the odds for achieving marital satisfaction are very, very low.” (Bill and Lynne Hybels)
That is so very true!
More of our Favorite Marriage Advice:
• As far as resolving marital conflict, note:
“If we strive to seek the Light, rather than trying to be right, a lot of our marital problems will resolve themselves.” (Unknown)
The “Light” of course refers to Jesus. We are to put our energy into seeking Jesus and HIS ways—not in getting our own way.
• “Marriage is for grown-ups. It is not for those that want to ‘play’ marriage.” A great guideline is in the scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:11 where says, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child, I thought like a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” When you say, “I do” you are to say goodbye to acting in immature ways. Marriage is for GROWN-UPS.
• Too many people these days are looking for marriage to make them happy. But here’s:
“Something to consider: What if God didn’t design marriage to make us happy, what if God designed marriage to make us holy? What if God’s purpose for marriage goes beyond our fun? What if God wants to use my marriage to reveal my weaknesses, to teach me sides of God I could not see before, to teach me how to love?” (Gary Thomas)
Here’s something else Gary Thomas said to prayerfully note:
• “If you want to get on my good side, be good to one of my kids. If you want to be on my bad side, be mean to one of my kids. I’m a Dad and I love my kids and want others to treat them kindly. …God is your heavenly Father. Your spouse is one of God’s kids. If you want to please God, be good to his kid—your spouse.”
Some More of Our Favorite Advice:
• When things go in an unhealthy direction in your marriage, remember:
“You are not responsible for fixing your marriage. But you are responsible for doing what you can to make it better.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire)
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)
Keep in mind:
• “The issue isn’t whether you fight. It’s how you fight and how rich your stockpile of good feelings is about each other to weather difficulties and keep your attitude toward your partner positive.” (Dr John Gottman)
Note this important point:
• “You don’t marry one person. You marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.” (Richard Needham)
This leads to the question: What’s it like being married to you?
Here’s one of the best pieces of advice we could ever give. It concerns how we interact as husband and wife:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:29-32)
“May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5) And may God help us all to grow our marriages to reveal and reflect Christ.
Cindy and Steve Wright
So now, we’ve given you some of our favorite marriage advice. Do you have something you can share to help others with their marriages, as well?
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