You’ve probably heard the joke that’s been going around concerning hormones and PMS. It goes like this, “What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Doberman?” The answer? “Lipstick.”
And then there’s Menopause that has to be dealt with, in the later stages of life. There are a whole host of “upsets” that come with adjusting to this hormonal stage. As they say, if you don’t laugh, you may cry. So here’s Chonda Pierce, to give her take (that may or may not make you laugh) on this matter in a YouTube piece titled:
Our first instinct may be to laugh at these “jokes.” But if you’re the one going through a hormonal change, or you’re the husband, it’s no joking matter. It’s a pretty serious subject.
There are a lot of things competing to sabotage your relationship with your spouse. Some of them are emotional. Others are spiritual. And some of them are physical challenges that we need to work with and around. One of them is a wife’s fluctuating hormone level (if she is one who experiences this phenomenon).
“It’s not a subject most people like to discuss, but PMS or Pre Menstrual Syndrome can wreak havoc on relationships. This is especially true when it is not recognized. Despite what many people seem to think, hormonal fluctuations throughout a woman’s cycle can be as hard on her as they seem to be on the people in her life.” (Sherry Holetzky)
Hormonal fluctuations can be something that attacks our bodies. But it these fluctuations also attack our emotions and our intimacy on so many levels. It’s something that’s difficult for others (particularly our husbands) to understand if they haven’t experienced this in their own bodies.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago, something that happened, when our sons were younger. I came to the realization that I was anything but a pleasant person when my menstrual cycle came around. So I thought I’d do my husband and two sons a “favor” by explaining that I would give them a “warning” when I was feeling tense. For their own good, I advised them to tread lightly for a while. I thought this would be a merciful act.
I remember well, one time when I gave the men of our household a warning to please ease up on their noise level. It was also important for them to be carful about not teasing me. I knew I didn’t have much patience, nor much of a sense of humor at that point. I was struggling to “keep it together” and I needed their help to do so. And that’s what I told them.
Our one son didn’t take my warning seriously. This was apparent because he proceeded to start teasing me right then and there. I immediately “lost my cool” and started screaming. I’ll never forget how he looked at me. All the color drained out of his face and he looked absolutely shell-shocked. He just mumbled, “I guess you were serious … sorry!”
Yep! I was, and I can tell you that in the future whenever I gave out my polite warning, no one tested my seriousness after that! That incident help us to come to an agreement that warnings were to be taken seriously.
One woman writes a solution she’d like to see happen:
“If I was going to invent something for the good of mankind I know exactly what it would be. It would be a pill for men that would let them experience all of our worst PMS symptoms. The trouble is, I fear my plan would backfire. Instead of making them understand what we go through so they’d be more sympathetic, it’d be my luck to give [my husband] the pill and he’d expect me to cater to him. ‘Bring me the heating pad. Get me another Advil. Tuck me in for my nap.'” (Courtney Mroch)
Isn’t that the truth? As much as we may want sympathy and understanding on a different level, it could backfire in various ways. This is especially true for the one who isn’t acting in an “understanding” way.
Another complication caused by these fluctuating hormones, happens to those who are prone towards depression and anxiety.
“While the symptoms of PMS are very familiar to many women, those who have a history of anxiety and depression or who currently suffer from anxiety and depression may notice that the changing hormonal levels during the month bring about increased emotional problems. The week before menstruation is well-known by women. But it is feared by men as being the most emotionally difficult week of the month. That makes for twelve to thirteen ‘difficult’ weeks per year for women of childbearing age.” (Beth McHugh)
Articles to Help
Actually, it doesn’t end there. Even those who are getting beyond childbearing age battle with “difficult weeks.” And there are even years when Pre-menopause and Menopause comes into play. (Somehow the word “play” doesn’t seem like the appropriate word, does it?)
To help us deal with these problems and attacks on our bodies, minds and marriages, below are several links to various web sites. They have articles posted on this subject. To read them and apply what works for you, please click onto the links below:
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.