We’re told in the Bible, that when we marry, “For this reason” we are to “leave” the primary allegiance we had with our mother, father and “cleave” to our spouse. We are “no longer as two” but were are to be as “one.” In other words, after wedding vows are exchanged they are to step behind each spouse both emotionally and authoritatively. If this doesn’t take place the offended spouse, quite often, starts viewing their inlaws as “outlaws” because of the intrusion into their marital union.
“This is not to suggest that children and parents should cut off their relationship under the guise of leaving and cleaving. But your primary human relationship now is with your spouse, not your parents. Your commitment to God comes first; then your bond to your spouse, then to any children you might have, then to your family of origin, and then to extended family and friends” (Sandra Lundberg, from the book, The First Five Years of Marriage).
Dealing with Inlaws
The importance they still have in our spouse’s heart shouldn’t be underestimated. But the influential role they once held in our decisions is to change.
If this hasn’t been the case in your marriage up to this point, this can be a time of “NEW BEGINNINGS” in your relationship with your spouse and his or her family “from this day forward.” It’s important that you make the necessary changes and stand by them together. With this in mind, please prayerfully consider the following thoughts. They come from an article titled “In Laws or Out Laws,” written by Dr Randy Carlson Theintentionallife.com.
He writes:
Lately on our radio program, I’ve been hearing from more people than ever about the difficulties they’re having in their marriages dealing with their mothers-in-law or fathers-in-law. The complaints vary. For one caller, it’s his father-in-law that’s showing favoritism for one grandchild over the other. Another person gets angry because her mother-in-law is always trying to control her husband.
For many couples, it’s the in-laws that simply won’t let go of their children and let them grow up. They constantly give unwanted advice on parenting, finances —even church. And then there’s the concern about in-laws who are not believers, who are having a negative influence on their grandchildren.
Afraid to Confront Parents
Whatever the circumstance, the way to overcome the conflict is through communication. But far too often, the husband or wife is afraid to confront their parents, or worse yet, just prefer to sweep the problems under the rug and pretend they don’t exist.
In the meantime, resentment and anger builds to the point that the easiest solution is just to stay away from the meddling in-laws, thereby depriving their children of an important and foundational family relationship —their grandparents.
Three Tips
“Here are three practical tips to help you deal with your in-law outlaws in a way that will glorify God and move your family toward healing, closeness and renewed trust.
1. Your in-laws are not the enemy:
Couples need to start with a little self-analysis. If you see your in-laws as the enemy, you’ll never get anywhere with them. No matter how troublesome they seem, you need to take the lead in working toward solving the problems.
“One thing that might help is to remember that your mother or father-in law is different from your parents. You cannot compare the two, because in most cases your in-laws will come up short. Therefore, you need to get to know them for who they are, not for what you want them to be.
2. “The biological connection:
If a wife has a problem with her husband’s parents, it is the responsibility of the husband to bring that issue before his parents —no matter how uncomfortable that may be. Truth is, the biological child will generally carry more credibility with his or her own parents, and should discern how to best communicate with them. It is then vital that the biological husband or wife lovingly but firmly defends his or her spouse and family.
3. “Stay unified:
Finally, couples need to be 100 per cent unified in their communication with their in-laws. It’s important for the mother or father-in-law to sense that there is no way they can possibly use their parental influence on their own child to try and drive a wedge in their marriage or in their role as parents.
“How can you do this while keeping the Biblical command to, ‘Honor your father and mother?’ By understanding and then communicating God’s design for families as established in the second chapter of Genesis. ‘A man will leave his father and mother,’ verse 24 says, ‘and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.’
Leave and Cleave
When you marry, you are to ‘leave’ your parental home and ‘cleave’ to your spouse and build a new home—with rules, expectations and goals set by you, not your parents. As a couple, you set clear boundaries regarding how you will maintain your relationship with your in-laws, and how you will communicate this to them.
In fact, it’s best to do this when you’re engaged so that the expectations of both you and your in-laws are established before marriage and parenting enters the picture.
When In-Laws Are Not Believers
Special relationship dynamics do exist when your in-laws are not believers in Christ. First, you must remember that it is still vitally important to nurture your relationship with your unsaved in-laws, especially when grandchildren are involved. But, as a couple, you need to stay sensitive to spiritual issues.
If your non-Christian in-laws are prone to use obscene language, live a carnal lifestyle, or try to directly influence you and your children against Christian beliefs, you need to step in and address the situation as lovingly as you can.
Goal: to Alter Behavior
Your goal here is not to change your in-laws. It’s to get them to alter their behavior as needed to protect your children and marriage as you see fit. But in extreme cases, where the mother- or father-in-law is an alcoholic, addicted to drugs, or is violent, you must draw the line to safeguard your family. Be sure to also communicate to your children what is happening with their grandparents. Encourage them to pray for the situation.
“In-law parents and grandparents are important members of your family. But your marriage and role as parents is now the priority. Wise couples will do everything they can to ensure they have a long, healthy relationship with their in-laws. Communication is the key to making that happen.”
Further Help
To help you further on this issue, we have numerous articles, quotes, testimonies, and available comment sections dedicated to Dealing with In Laws & Parents, posted on this web site.
Plus, below there are several links to web site articles, to read that could help you further with this issue:
• WHEN FATHER-IN-LAW DOESN’T KNOW BEST
• HOW TO MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW
— ALSO —
• KEEPING THE PEACE IN YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY
We hope all of this helps you to set your marriage in God’s order.
Cindy and Steve Wright
Filed under: Marriage Messages
(USA) I happened upon your website and would value your opinion on this. I apologize in advance for the length, but as you’ll see, it’s complex: My wife and I are believers and have been married for 31 years. Our children were all raised in a Christian home with exactly the same exposure to the Gospel. Two of the three are currently preparing for full time ministry at a Baptist Seminary (not Baptists, Lutherans, Presbyterian, etc. you get the idea).
Our first son, however, lived with (attempting to conceal it from us) and then married a Catholic girl. We tried to lovingly let him know that we had concerns and my wife even met with his future mother in law to express concerns about 1. parity in seeing our son and daughter in law after their marriage and 2. The fact that we are protestants and that our faith means a lot to us.
These concerns were deftly brushed off by a woman who is a very domineering personality and, I believe, a social engineer (one who knows how to finesse and apply subtle pressure to get what she’s after). Our daughter in law is a lovely girl but is the youngest of a 7 child Catholic family. I believe she has a co-dependent relationship with her mom (who I feel sure was also raised Catholic) and I believe her mom wants to keep “her baby” close. Our daughter in law’s identity seems inescapably linked to Roman Catholicism and I understand how anyone opposed to it could seem like an enemy of both her and her family. Any call to independently consider the Bible for herself could seem like a betrayal of the Catholic church (which made her promise to raise their children, not as Christians, but as Catholics) as well as to her mother.
While I understand that there are born again Catholics -it seems that they often come out of the Roman Catholic church after true conversion. That was not the case here. In this case I made it know to our son both prior to and after the wedding that there are many doctrinal teachings promoted by the Catholic church that just are in opposition to what the Bible says (necessity of pennance for forgivness, priestly intercession instead of direct access as the result of Christ’s finished work, Mary worship and intercession, infallibility of Catholic church officials in their interpretatin of scripture, etc. etc. etc.) I did this in writing in an email to him complete with all the supporting scriptual references -it was a labor of love designed to warn, perhaps avoid an “unequal yoking” until these issues had bee more seriously looked at and not intended to judge anyone. We didn’t write the bible, but we do believe it.
Our daughter in law knows this and as a result when my wife reached out to her one day in a phone call she told my wife that she didn’t feel accepted and that she thinks we don’t see her as being “good enough” for our family. This somewhat manipulative approach has put us in the position of being the ones who “have to prove something to her” in order to have any kind of geniune relationship. Our son, in order to preserve his personal peace and the peace of his own family (which now includes our first grandchild of 7 months) has allowed her family (or at least, her mother) from the beginning to insert itself into their lives in ways that we have not been invited to.
His mother in law journeyed sevaral hours to help pick out their first condo (we found out later). It was paid for with a VA mortgage that only has our daughter-in law’s name and her Dads name on it. When I finally learned of this and begged our son to talk to his father in law about this, the response our son received was “let’s see how it goes”.
When they wanted to move because of a new job, the condo wouldn’t sell and now our son pays for something that he has no legal right to. He had no problem, however, coming to us for a large amount of money to cover closing costs on their new home when he found that he had misfigured what would be needed (we provided that loan with no questions or commentary). Meanwhile, his father in law went bankrupt- but to my knowledge is still listed on the mortgage instead of our son.
Following this, we received notice that our son and daughter in law intended to have our grandson baptized in a Catholic Church where they apparently attend. Our son suggested we contact him if that made us unconfortable but this was to no avail. We attended the service to show our daughter in law that we loved and supported her as a person. During the service they were again charged by the priest to raise the child as a Catholic (not as a Christian, “in the Catholic church”). When we arrived at our son’s home for a reception he had invited us to, his mother in law had a key, took charge of everything – ordering her many daughters around to make provisions and never once spoke to either me, my wife or our daughter and son-in law. We felt like guests in our own son’s home. When I mentioned this to our son, his response was “I dont have time to play referee between you two.”
More recently they made the decision that our daughter in law, who is a teacher, would continue to work till the end of the school year to try to retire some debts. We learned from my wife’s mother after a visit by my son and daughter in law that the mother-in-law would be moving in with them to provide child care for our grandchild for the next 6 months or so.
This is another fairly major life decision which we were never given the chance to be involved with or to provide an alternate arrangement. When my wife suggested that this might not be the healthiest thing for their marriage, our son took issue with that – but I think that may have been on behalf of his wife rather than the result of his own conviction.
I have made it a point to never say or do anything to my daughter in law that would be unkind in any way but have instead talked to her husband (my son) whenever I have had concerns – believing that he should know best how to talk to his wife. I believe that our son has been placed in the middle as the result of his wife’s allegiances and his own non-confrontational nature. The practical result continues to be that he believes he must (and seems to be willing to) trade a relationship with his own family in deference to hers in order to preserve his personal peace and their marraige. I think she owes it to him to love him more than that (but that’s just me).
Our son has, indeed, left his father and mother to cleave, but his wife has not. This one sided situation has caused arguements between he and I which have culminated in him telling me that I am not welcome in his home. It seems that she prefers to spend their family time with her family where she feels “accepted” rather than with us. As a result, we’ve been severly marginalized, where both they and our grandson are concerned. I’ve attempted to engage a Christian counselor (a husband and wife team) to enable my wife and I to deal with this in a unified way – but my wife, who is one of the most loving people I have ever met, continues to feel “pulled in 2 separate directions” and accuses me of beating her up when I suggest that some people (perhaps like me) speak the truth but not in a loving manner while others are so loving that they never speak the truth. This has caused more problems for us as a couple than anything in 31 years of marriage. Some have suggested what I view as spiritual sounding cop-outs instead of loving confrontation. As long as the Catholic thing is not removed from the equation and our daughter in law continues to seek her own family because she feels “unaccepted” by us (even though I’ve made it clear that I don’t view her as the Catholic Church but as an individual) and wants to raise our grandchild in a way that gurantees his exposure to false doctrinal teaching, I just dont know what to do. Do you think this is what Matthew 10:34-39 is talking about?
Don’t be discouraged. Just pray for a healthy relationship between you and your kids. I am the “daughter in law”. Let go of what you can’t control or hurts. Pray for your daughter-in-law – that she will be free from religious ignorance. I know you are hurting; the counseling sounds great. I am planing to seek help next week!
To the lady with all respect, you and your family and your extended in laws. You are religious but God is out of your souls. There are many, many religions. But there is only one God. Only God will judge you and them and will decide your outcome. Seems that all of you are manipulated by the dark one
(UNITED STATES) Hello, my name is Robert and I find myself in a situation that my mother-in-law and I do not get along what so ever or see eye to eye on anything. I come from a very small family and as a matter of fact both my father and mother have both passed. In both of those scenarios I showed very little feeling in their passing as our relationship was very strained with alcohol abuse and many dysfunctional areas in my family as I was growing up.
I really am trying very hard but I must admit that I don’t really find myself warming up to my wife’s mother anytime soon. I guess I somewhat carry my feelings on my sleeve and if I don’t tend to like someone they will know it. Where as her mother I should say I find very “fake” and will not say anything to me. But as soon as she leaves our house she will tell anyone who will listen about her disdain for me, which I find very annoying. She also tends to put her 2 cents in about how I punish our kids, which I find quite funny hence she has never disciplined any of her kids what so ever and I find the reason being why they lead the lives that they lead now.
Anyhow, I find myself in a situation where my mother in law just lost her husband and I see the topic arising that she may have to move out of her house and I guess our house is the best option for her except the problem that her and I don’t get along at all. I see this being a HUGE issue for me and my wife who are already having marital issues as it stands and I see this being a huge obstacle that may not be surpass able. I understand that the family that my wife comes from is very close but I also think this can be very bad for us as a family unit. I am just needing some insight on this. Thank you in advance.
(CANADA) Robert, I too am in a situation where my mother in law does not like me (to put it mildly). There are many reasons for this, including likely mental illness, insecurity, and what used to be a co-dependant relationship with her only child (my wife).
After first getting married to my wife, we had a good relationship with her parents until we decided to move for another job. At the time we were living 2.1 km (yes, my in laws clocked the distance) from them. The new job was in a different city a day’s travel (by car) away. The night we told them they were understandably upset, but said they would support us. The next day when I was at work they came to our house and laid into my wife so she had to call me at work in tears. From that day on for the next 2 years they continually tried to convince her that she should take our kids and leave me.
We kept the (bad) relationship alive for those 2 years until they started suggesting that I was abusing my wife and the kids. Of course they never said any of this to me, and always denied having said anything when confronted about it. We talked to them about this behaviour and told them it had to stop. It didn’t stop. The result was that we had to break off the relationship. However, we told them we were open to having a relationship again as long as we could go to counseling together with them and a 3rd party that would keep both of us accountable for what was said and would help us to work through the issues. My father in law initially agreed to this, but my mother in law refused. This resulted in 8 years of separation from them, and I have to say it was the best thing for our family.
We are now in the process of trying to restore the relationship, and I have to say it is going to be a tough road. But my advise is that you need to set boundaries with your in law(s) and have consequences -sometimes severe like ours -if those boundaries are continually ignored. In your situation, I understand the need to take care of your mother in law, but if the situation is already bad and proper boundaries aren’t in place, then don’t put your marriage at risk by having your mother in law move in next to you. Find another place for her that leaves the breathing room that your family NEEDS.
Some people use ‘family’ as an excuse to have a right to treat people poorly. A respected friend at my church reminded me of Mark 3:32 “There was a crowd sitting around Jesus, and someone said, ‘Your mother and your brothers are outside asking for you.’ Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?’ Then he looked at those around him and said, ‘Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.'”
You are just a husband. Flesh and blood are real family.
Lisa, I’m not thinking that a husband is “just” a husband, nor a wife is “just” a wife, when it refers to those who are married to each other. Yes, people prostitute this idea very often and forget the sanctity of marriage, and abuse the privilege. But that doesn’t negate God’s original intent.
If Richard is “just” a husband in God’s eyes, as it relates to his wife (in comparison to her mother and father), what do you do with the Bible passages we are to follow where it’s written in Genesis 2:24 “The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”?
And what about in Matthew 19:4-6, where Jesus said, “Haven’t you read that at the beginning the creator made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”?
This is also repeated in Mark 10:7-9. The Apostle Paul also repeats this in same concept in Ephesians 5:31.
In 1 Corinthians 6:15-16 we’re told, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, ‘The two shall become one flesh.'”
I’m so sorry that your husband didn’t, and many other spouses don’t live out the principles to love, honor, and respect their wife or husband for the rest of their lives. It should never be so. It’s shameful. But we can’t throw everything out because of the abuses committed by some against God’s original intent. Yes, mothers and fathers should be honored, but when their “children” grow up and marry, they are to take a backseat to their “child’s” spouse as far as priorities go. That’s the way God intends, so that’s the way we should live.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I have been married to a wonderful man for twelve years. We lived far from the family and was on our own. Four years ago the inlaws decided that we are the “most stable” of the eight children. They have moved to our town. In the beginning I invited them over for social gatherings. But as I got to know them better I started to dislike them to the point that we had a business transaction with them that I had suggested and I was just sidestepped with it.
I do not like them any more and have not been at their house in more than two years. My husband cannot understand this and he is integral in the situation as he is my representative with the in laws and crucial in a reconciliation process. It is as though he has glasses on with a different set of standards for them than for my side of the family. I do not mind if we do not reconcile. I do not need them in my life. It is just that it eats away at my marriage. To top everything the mother inlaw was diagnosed with breast cancer four month ago and is undergoing chemo. Thus she is the martar at the moment.
I do not know if my marriage will survive the Cancer. I cannot be false and go and do visits just on account of the Cancer. What I need from the inlaws is an apology but I do not think I will ever get that. Is there someone out thet that had been through this or have their marriages ever survived the in laws’s cancer? I know I must support my husband. I know he will be going through various emotional stages. However, he is not the sharing type and will not discuss it with me. Please assit with advise if someone had been through a similar scenario. My priority is my marriage. However, I must be true to myself as well. Any advice is welcome.
Magda, You definitely have some serious problems going on here, which most likely could fracture your marriage forever. This is heart-breaking on so many levels. But I have to say that before anyone could give you any type of advice, since this is a Christian web site, it’s important to know if either of your in laws are Christ-followers. Are you, and is your husband a Christ-follower? Any type of “advice” anyone could give you would depend upon knowing your spiritual stands. This is not to judge you, but to know how best to answer your questions. There are no promises here that you will receive any advice, but if it would be given those questions would need to be answered.
Magda, don’t get religion into your situation it will get matters worst. Look, the mother in law will probably die so your problem will be cut in half. Your father in law will find someone else soon after and that other new woman will get the man toward her side of her family. Don’t force your family upon your man. Let him be free to choose If you want salvation for your conscinece turn your cheek and follow what God would do for a sick soul and body.
(NIGERIA) Culturally, this issue should be contextualized and handled properly and diplomatically to bring about peace, unity and harmony in this marriage. We must understand that maybe the husband is not really enlightened about the Biblical concept of marriage-LEAVING and CLEAVING- with respect to the culture there in SA. He may have sincere ‘phileo’-brotherhood love- for his family but may be wrong in its execution. This may not take away the genuine marital love he may have for his wife. And so, I stress the need for adequate teaching and marital counseling for him at this stage, rather than Vicky breaking off from him without giving him a chance to change.
(INDIA) It is helpful for the families to understand each other.
(South Africa) I have been married for 4 years now and my husband and I are born again. He comes from a family that is struggling but by the Grace of God he was able to go to varsity and obtain his qualification. We’re struggling now financially, trying to keep up with bond payments, accounts and fees for the nursery for our 2 year old.
Now 2 of his family members will be coming to stay with us, firstly I was not asked or did we discuss about his family members coming to stay with us; he was letting me know what is going to happen (I am not assuming, because I already knew they were on their way over). This is not the first time something like this happened. After a week we got married her sister came to stay with us in a bachelour flat and I was told about this the same day she was going to arrive. I do want to help but our financial situation at the moment does not agree with us, am I being selfish?
We have been fighting about this and I feel like I do not want to be part of this marriage anymore.
Oh leave and cleave. Yeah right. After 25 years and four kids, my husband finally left after years of not being able to stand up to his family, he said they told him I was a mistake and they were right. So after some analysis, I have come to the conclusion of why should you put a spouse over your flesh and blood, spouses come and go, children, parents, siblings are your family forever. Sooo, I will not respect my children’s marriages and I REFUSE to be put last to anyone that you may not be with next week. After all no one else respects marriage, so why should I. I am their MOTHER and always will be.
I’m so sorry that your husband did this to you and your children… truly. This was absolutely wrong of him. But please don’t repeat the wrong he did by not honoring your children’s marriage partners. Committing two wrongs, doesn’t make it right. One doesn’t cancel out the wrong of the other. Please don’t allow yourself to believe the lie that because you were hurt by your husband, solutions to do that which you should not, are acceptable.
Yes, we are to love and honor our parents, children, and siblings… but we are to do so in God-honoring ways… not because it makes sense to us (even though it overrides God’s wishes) because of the way we have been hurt by someone who did something that was absolutely wrong. You could very well damage your children’s marriages in the process.
Lisa, it seems that your experience with your husband did not make your soul grow and improve. If you ever marry don’t make him pay for other people’s mistakes toward you. Don’t embitter yourself. Live life in happiness before your time to die. Let your sons and daughters live their lives the way they choose to; don’t be like what you hate now. They will remember you as a loving mother or a resentful little person. Remember only once will you be you, and never again when death comes don’t rely on second chances. Don’t live in your own hell now. Live life happy for you and you alone.
In this article, I read a lot about mothers and fathers-in-law but what about sisters-in-law’s? My husband and I have been married a little over a year and a half. Thank God we both get along well with each other’s parents. I praise God for that blessing.
However, his older sister is the one that I’ve had issue with. Some months ago she created such problem between my husband and I about something that I had no idea was being discussed between them behind my back. When I found out I called her up and straightened her out.
Since then I want nothing to do with her. I hate every time she calls my home. I can say now that she knows the boundaries that I’ve set for my marriage. Now whenever she has to call she texts to ask my husband if I’m home. I personally believe that in-laws can make or break a marriage. It’s up to the married couple to set standards that have to be respected by family members.
Cassie, go into the “In Laws” topic on this web site http://host.agencysrvr.com/~marriage/category/in-laws/ to read additional articles, quotes and such on this subject. We even have an article posted relating to in laws, who are siblings. You’ll find links provided within that article, which you can glean through, to find info that might help you with this issue. I hope it helps.
Thanks very much.
I married my husband nearly 4 yrs ago on 9 July. Before we got married I had two ectopic’s pregnancies and lost both tubes. Last year we tried for IVF and failed.
Few days ago I learnt my Christian mother in law has been trying to get my husband to leave me so he can have children with someone else before she dies. Nope, she not ill, it’s just that her twin sister died recently. She looked at my husband, cried to him and told him she lost all hope in me. She wants him to have a child behind my back.
On Sunday I found out he felt to do so, without much luck. But my heart knew something was up and I went to meet him. During this time (the day he tried to cheat on me), the other girl was in his other home.
I am a Christian but that seemed to go out the window. I was so grieved, so hurt, so betrayed. I lashed out at my husband hitting him. I’m not proud of this at all. I even went as far as scratching his car (however I’ve put money up for his car who he’d helped pay for it). I’m Still not proud of my actions. I’m trying to resolve the issues.
He says he loves me and doesn’t want to go. He says he knows he messed up. But did not sleep or kiss this other woman. But he wanted to because of the pressure he felt.
His family seemed more upset because I lashed out and ruined the paintwork of the car than anything else, that I went too far with it.
I’m still hurting. I’ve forgiven my husband and said I was sorry for what I did. But I’m still hurting. What should I be doing? I feel as though my mother in law is my enemy, and the rest of my in laws just go along with her bad advice and practices. None of his family has called me. None have even helped in any way with our IVF. We have to pay over £6000 for IVF. My husband just wants us to do another IVF. I feel like he’s papering over cracks.
Hi – God knows how I am currently battling with issues due to my husbands family’s influence on our lives. All I can do is continue to pray that our situation improves before it is too late – and our marriage becomes a statistic. He has been through 1 marriage already and hope and my trust is in the Almighty is all I have that our marriage will last.
My situation is this, my husband is an over the road truck driver and is home about twice a month. His mother is widowed and is always asking him to spend time with her. Before he even returns back home she will call him on the phone and ask.
My mother in law is prejudiced against me because of the color of my skin. She is jealous of the time that I have when I do have time with him. She feels she deserves time with him every time he comes home. We orignally moved about 245 miles closer to her, bought a home, because she has no family here. We also are a step family with 1 16 year old son in the home.
His mother can be very manipulating… and my husband is aware of that. God has opened his eyes toward the games that his mother is playing. However my husband hasn’t confronted her yet about her behavior. She makes snyde remarks when she’s here and he’s in another room. Or, she will completely ignore me. All I can say is that I’ll keep praying. I welcome any of you to join me. Thanks for reading!
Amanda, try to get your mother in law to meet men of her age so she can get a relationship on going and she will forget you all.
My wife is Chinese. Our marriage was fine until my wife’s mother came to live with us. My wife now honors her mother and not me. We attended a marriage class at church and the subject of your spouse is first after God didn’t have any meaning to my wife.
Your wife is from China. Respecting the elders is in their culture and in their traditions is the normal thing to do. Was she born under your actual religious chosen beliefs or became of this new religion of yours? Here in the western world we Mexicans care a lot for our parents and are close to families like the Chinese because we are related in some ways from our pasts.
Why do you want her to honor you more? Does she cook for you, keep your home clean, sleep with you and is not roaming around with other men? She is honoring you in her way. Do you honor your own mother or don’t you care?
Hi, I have been married for 3 years and have 1 year old son. My husband does not care or need me and my son. He has become the worst human anyone can imagine. My mother-in-law does BLACK MAGIC and has kept her all family members under black magic medicine. She puts that medicine into food and without knowingly anyone who eats that food acts like dolls and talk and do everything according to her favour. All my husband’s family totally manipulates and controls him. I am the only one who is standing against them to show they are wrong. She does such a drama and acting that people are thinking I am bad.
Please friends, tell me what to do with such people. Elders say if we make mistakes God will punish us for our sins. Is a wife and child who are separating from her husband a sin??? What mistake has my son done for not getting his father’s love? Is being honest and loyal to God in itself a big mistake? From the second day of marriage I have been suffering. My parents too are much worried because of me. Please tell me, doesn’t God punish bad people and give good times to me?
I ask that if you divorce a woman may you marry her sister?
Michael, why make the same mistake twice? The sister will have many of your exes traits and beliefs, mannerisms, same relatives, and same mother. Your needs as a man are obscuring your common sense. Run away from all that you will create. This new woman will blame you when she is extradited from her family and you are the cause for such. Find another person that is a complete stranger to your now in law family.
I’m having a difficult time as this threw me off the other day. I met this guy long before I was ever married had a brief relationship and he then entered a relationship with my sister and we broke it off. By then I met a new guy and we started a relationship only to find out later they were brothers. After not wanting to continue the relationship…long story short, we ended up married with kids now almost 28 years later he tells me he had to let me go but wishes to be with me now. This is so hard because I am now having issues with my current partner because its feeling like a loveless marriage. I am now beginning to question my marriage. Im so confused!!!