The days after a big romantic event (such as Valentines Day) can bring a time of let down. But does this have to be your reality? Do you have to experience a let down in the days and months beyond Valentine’s Day?
Beyond Valentine’s Day
I like what Dennis and Barbara Rainey say about this (in their book, Moments With You: Daily Connections for Couples):
“Valentine’s Day came and went yesterday. All over the country, beautiful cards were opened. Heart-shaped candy boxes exchanged hands. And flower vases sprouted up on tabletops and nightstands. Last night, lingerie was worn and thrown on the floor. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you might have given yourself some pats on the back for points scored. ‘Okay, that’s done.’
“Actually, though, Valentine’s Day should function as a small reminder of the kind of romance we should be cultivating 365 days a year. It should help us see that the reason why Valentine’s Day brings out the best in us —romantically speaking. That is because it’s something we mark on the calendar. We plan for it. We go to the store a week in advance to avoid that sick feeling of choosing from the picked-over cards left behind.
“What if you were that thoughtful and deliberate every time you made plans to romance your spouse?”
(See the short humorous video: Love Words – by The Skit Guys.)
Here’s another way of looking at the days following Valentine’s Day. It’s found in the Couple Things Blog article titled, The Day After Valentine’s. (I’ll just give you a shortened version of it –you can read it in its entirety on their web site):
“Consider February 15th [and beyond]. That’s right, looking into tomorrow could help you pull out the stops on your efforts today. Consider…
“Tomorrow is the day when:
• You could look at your spouse and experience pain in your shins as you kick yourself. Or it could be when you could pat yourself on the back for how your love and thoughtfulness paid off.
• You could experience a torrent of doubts and questions about your love-life and its success. Or you could revel in a new-found sense of connection and security regarding your relationship.
• You will have added another unmet expectation to the pile lying on the floor of your relationship. Or you added another memory worth talking about for years to come.
• Your spouse could wake up to their normal life with a sigh. Or your spouse wakes up with a great big smile on their face.
“It’s a good thing you still get to choose. Go have a great day, and a great tomorrow!”
Actually, tomorrow is today.
Today, Beyond Valentine’s Day
From this day forward, it’s important to persevere with intentionality. We talk about it a lot here at Marriage Missions. You can read more about it in the “tags” at the end of this blog. It’s something my husband Steve and I continually keep in the forefront of our minds. If we aren’t PRO-active in growing our marriage, rather than just RE-active (fixing things when things are going wrong), our marriage can become problematic. And yours can become that way too.
It’s important to be pro-active and intentional in finding ways NOT to take our marriage partner for granted. It’s important to keep flirting with each other. You need to guard your hearts and marriage from outsiders who could “separate” you in some way. Remember, Jesus said, “Let no man [or woman] separate what God has put together.”
That separation could be caused by another romantic interest, a “friend” who may be well meaning —but is toxic nonetheless. It could be from a family member who is interrupting your “cleaving” together. Or it could be because of something you are or are not doing. Whatever the reason, please be intentional in not allowing yourselves to grow in separate directions. You can’t control what your spouse does. But you can do your part, at the very least.
To Help You Beyond Valentine’s Day
We have a lot of articles and resources and web site links, which could help you in this mission. Please take advantage of them by praying, reading, and gleaning what we make available. And then put into practice that, which God shows you to do.
This final thought and suggestion, which Dennis and Barbara Rainey make in their book. It’s something good to consider, and then put into practice. They write:
“I hope your Valentine’s Day was fun. But wouldn’t it be a lot more fun if this became your Valentine’s Year?
“What if you took turns doing romantic things for one another for the next 30 days? Share what would be fun and romantic to you. Set a minimum of each of you doing three to five things in the coming month.”
We have additional suggestions in the Romantic Ideas topic on this web site. They can be helpful if you’re romantically challenged, and/or need additional ideas.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
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Filed under: Marriage Blog