Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:25)
Deciding who you will marry is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. In a kingdom courtship, the primary reason for marriage should be the conviction that a particular match is God’s choice for you. It should not be just a good choice, but God’s choice.
Good or Bad Choice?
Most of the time, you won’t have the luxury of choosing between people or circumstances that are totally bad or totally good. Nearly all your choices will appear good in some way, but only one will be part of God’s perfect plan —His best for you. The chief enemy you fight in choosing God’s best will be your own strong inclination to make a good choice instead of a God choice.
Before you can determine whom to marry, you must first answer an preliminary question: Does God want you to marry anyone, ever? Or is His plan for you to remain single? Scripture teaches that marriage, like salvation, is an unmerited gift from God (Genesis 2:18). When God wanted Adam to have a wife, He brought her to him. Their marriage was a gift from God.
Scripture Tells Us that Singleness is God’s Gift As Well.
“I wish that all men were as I am. but each man has his own gift from God,“ said the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:7. He wished all men were single like he was and free from the stresses of married life so they could devote themselves to God’s work. “But each man has his own gift from God.” In other words, God will either give to a person the gift of being married or the gift of being single.
People who are perpetually lonely as singles are usually the same people who are worried about what isn’t happening to them instead of what they should be doing to minister to others. Their focus is inward, not upward. In 1 Corinthians 7, we’re told to acknowledge singleness as good, allow it for our spiritual growth and use it for God.
C.S. Lewis
C. S. Lewis was single most of his life. He taught at Oxford and Cambridge Universities and used his free time as a single to write some of the best Christian literature available in the world today. As he was nearing retirement age, he met and married a woman he came to love intensely. Sadly, they only had 3 short years together. What would the world have missed if Lewis had married earlier someone whom God had not chosen?
It happens. Singles become consumed with the idea of how wonderful life would be if they just had a marriage partner, and then they make concessions and compromises that lead to marriage out of God’s timing and out of God’s will. To feel accepted by another person and avoid the stigma of being single, they enter into unhealthy relationships and compromise values they once held dear.
Beware of Slipping
The more consumed you become with the idea of marriage, the more easily you can slip into a pattern of fantasizing. It might start as innocently as fantasizing about being with another person. It might be someone you know at work or church. Then you might progress to fantasizing about the children you’d have together or where you would live. If they continue unchecked, your thoughts could become a full-blown X-rated video that stays stuck on replay in your mind until it replays in your life. The powerful feelings that accompany such thoughts can lead people into marriages God never ordained and intimate relationships He never approved.
Thoughtful Reflections
The Bible declares that as a man “thinketh in heart, so is he“ (Proverbs 23:7, KJV). What a strange thought! How can you think with your heart? We normally associate thought with the brain and feelings with the heart. The phrase “to think in the heart” refers to thoughtful reflection. Many ideas are briefly entertained by the mind without ever penetrating the heart. But those ideas that do grasp us in our innermost parts are the ideas that shape our lives. When our thoughts are corrupted, our lives follow suit. We are what we think.
“Gift” of Singleness
If God gives you the gift of singleness, He may use that quality in a way that wouldn’t be available to you as a married person. It may be for a season or it may be for a lifetime. God’s sovereign will is always meant for your good and His glory. If and when God decides you can best serve Him as a team member with a life partner, you won’t need to change Sunday school classes, search the singles ads, or join a dating service He will work out the circumstances. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD“ (Proverbs 18:22). This favor of the Lord is what God extends to His children in arranging the circumstances for them to meet their life partners.
Circumstances Could Be Worse
It also helps to remember that there are a great many circumstances worse than not being married. One of them is being married to someone who doesn’t share your love and desire for God. This person could be someone whose commitment divides your commitment.
Powerful Lesson
The life of Hudson Taylor is a powerful lesson in the value of God’s wisdom regarding marriage. Taylor was an English missionary who died in 1910 after spending more than 50 years as a missionary in China. When he went there in 1854, nearly 380 million people in the country’s interior had never seen a Westerner. They had also never heard the name of Christ. With a heart for God, Taylor penetrated deep into Chinese culture. He dressed like the Chinese, learned their language, and lived among them. By the end of his life, 205 preaching stations, 849 missionaries, and 125,000 Chinese Christians were a testimony to a life surrendered to God.
Ripple Effect
Hudson Taylor wielded a spiritual influence far beyond China. Even today, the ripple effect of his ministry is a part of our lives. The Chinese Christians number in the hundreds of thousands world-wide. Taylor was single when he left England, but he eventually married another missionary in China. A small sentence in one history book has always intrigued me: “In England, Taylor had left behind his unfinished medical studies and the girl he had hoped to marry. She had refused to come with him.” What would the world have missed if Taylor had stayed home to marry someone God hadn’t chosen?
God tested Taylor when He made him choose between God’s will and his own desires. The day came in Taylor’s life when he had to decide if it was important to be in God’s will or be married —the God choice over the good choice.
God still tests us today.
We can’t assume that the woman Taylor left behind was ugly, irritable, or contentious. He was a man of character who probably kept the company of godly woman. Many people may have thought it was a good match, and perhaps the couple could have had a good marriage. But every good choice isn’t God’s choice.
If God gives you the gift of singleness, He may use that quality in a special way. It’s something that wouldn’t be available to you as a married person—for a season or a life time.
God Still Had a Plan
God’s favor wasn’t lost on Hudson Taylor. In China, he eventually met and fell in love with 22-year-old Maria Dyer, the much-admired daughter of prestigious missionary parents. They had an uncommonly happy marriage because they shared a deep passion to evangelize China even at great personal sacrifice.
Seven years before his marriage to Maria and after his breakup with his fiancé, Taylor made a God choice that was painful and agonizing at the time. “What can I do?” he wrote to his sister. “I know I love her. To go to China without her would make the world a blank.” Instead of the “blank” life Taylor feared —the life we all fear—God brought purpose to his pain and honored his sacrifice. Even though it may have felt like a long wait, God was in the waiting. And so it is with us.
Don’t Miss the Best
When we decide on our own that we’re in love with another person and refuse to seek or wait for God’s instruction, He will allow us to choose the good. But we will miss the best—His perfect will. The problem is that things don’t work right when we’re in only the permissive will of God (1 Corinthians 6:12).
In his popular workbook, Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby suggests we “find out where God is working and join Him there.” We, on the other hand, are more likely to say, “God, here’s the person I want to marry. Will You bless us?” The difference is the approach. One approach puts God at the center while the other puts ourselves at the center. When we make choices independent of God and then ask for His blessing, we’re asking God to approve an idea that originated with us, not Him.
Adjust to Doing Things God’s Way
Throughout Scripture, God always takes the initiative. He sets the agenda. “We adjust our lives to God so He can do through us what He wants to do,” says Blackaby. “God is not our servant to make adjustments to our plans. We are His servants and we adjust our lives to what He is about to do.”
Once again we’re back to the difference between a good idea and a God idea. How many times have we heard people say, “If God gave me a brain, He must expect me to use it”? Even though God gave us the ability to reason and make choices, what did He say about our thoughts compared to His?
We’re Told in Isaiah 55:8-9:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
God’s knowledge and wisdom are far greater than ours. He can see the entire landscape while we concentrate on a single valley. We would be foolish to try to fit God into our mold and conform Him to our plans. Yes, He did give us a brain, and we should be smart enough to know that God’s even smarter.
Good Idea VS God’s Idea
Once again, what’s the difference between a good idea and a God idea? A good idea will work some of the time. But God’s ideas will work all the time. Scripture warns us not to lean on our own understanding but to trust God wholeheartedly (Proverbs 3:5). When we’re not willing to submit to God’s leadership in our lives, God will let us follow our own devices. In following them, we will never experience what God is waiting and wanting to do in us and through us.
Go With God
Christians must realize that it’s more important to be certain that a marriage is God’s will than to judge our suitability for marriage by love, attraction, or compatibility. Our situations change and we grow through the years. We cannot predict future compatibility on our own. When we accept compatibility as a primary basis of marriage, we can be led into cultural traps. One of these traps could be living together before marriage to make sure we are compatible. Only God knows the end from the beginning. He is the one who creates love, not man.
Ruth and Naomi
It was Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, who made the choice of a husband for her (Ruth 3). It wasn’t love at first sight, getting to know each other, or even a passionate kiss that brought Boaz and Ruth together. Romance wasn’t the issue. But the story later became romantic as Ruth and Boaz developed an unselfish love and deep respect for each other. The issue was obedience, a “rightness” about the relationship. God was working in the situation, and He was using Naomi’s kindness and moral integrity to guide Ruth. As a result, Ruth later became the great-grandmother of King David and direct ancestor of Jesus.
Passionate Love?
Does the story of Boaz and Ruth interrupt your romantic vision of passionate love? Would you like the story more if the two had been lovers who glimpsed each other across the wheat field and became passionately attracted? It happens to some people in some situations, but the qualities that are attractive in the beginning may prove difficult to live with in the long run. The man who falls in love with a woman’s attentiveness may find it is the very quality that drives him crazy when he can’t get enough space. The woman who falls in love with a man’s drive to succeed may eventually find that quality irritating and destructive. He may end up spending more time at work than at home.
Critical Choice
Dr. Neil Clark Warren, author of the book Finding the Love of Your Life, says your choice of whom to marry is more critical than everything else combined. “If you choose wisely,” he says, “your life will be significantly easier and infinitely more satisfying. But if you make a serious mistake, your marriage may fail, causing you and perhaps your children immeasurable pain. Most of the failed marriages I have encountered were in trouble the day they began dating. The two people involved simply chose the wrong person to marry.”
What might seem like a good choice at the time may not be a God choice for a lifetime. If you “lean on your own understanding,” you may someday feel like the person who fell out of the raft into the Colorado River. The more you struggle, the deeper you go.
The Larger Picture
Just as Ruth was unaware of the larger purpose God had in mind for her life, you can’t see the larger picture of your life. Because of Ruth’s faithful obedience, her life and legacy carried great significance even though she couldn’t see the end result. In a similar way, your faithfulness to God’s leadership will bring a significance to your life. It’s one that will extend beyond your lifetime. The question is not how to find a mate, but who will find the mate. God will direct you in choosing God’s best.
This edited article can be found in the great book, Choosing God’s Best: Wisdom for Lifelong Romance
Filed under: Single Yet Preparing
(NIGERIA) Hmmmm! Where will I even start from? I am in a relationship with the most amazing guy I can ask for and it is a godly relationship (no sex). We have been dating for about three years now.
About 2 years ago, I went to my village for my mother’s 10 yr remembrance where I met this young pastor. Several months after that, I received a phone call and it happened to be the pastor. He told me that he received a revelation from God about us and that we have been ordained by God to be together and I told him that I will pray about it. I don’t like this pastor in any way or form. He annoys me even in his manner of speech! I see him as very judgemental. Today, he called me and said that God had revealed to him that I wasn’t interested in him and that I should pray and tell God that I don’t want his “Perfect will for my life but his permissive will.” Imagine? I saw that as very insultive!
Please, I need your advice because something tells me that he is trying to use the reverse psychology on me and trying to make me feel guilty and give in! Honestly, I haven’t heard anything from God concerning this issue. Am I wrong? Or am I just making excuses because I am so in love with my boyfriend? Please help!
(AUSTRALIA) While I know that sometimes marriage is hard work, I do still believe that God intented marriage for mutual pleasure and benefit. If you are already annoyed by this man, don’t marry him. He will drive you crazy!!! If God intented for you to marry him, I believe he would place some desire in your heart. You are in love with your boyfriend. He sounds terrific, and Godly. Marry him and have a chance at life long happiness.
(NIGERIA) Thank you so much JC! God bless you richly! Well. I have been able to cut this pastor out of my life. He told me categorically that God will replace me with someone else. I am quite relieved that I didn’t end up with him though. Thank you once again.
(UNITED STATES) I was searching for wedding scriptures on the web concerning marriage and came across this article for the first time. This article was for ME! It’s on time and confirmed some things I’ve questioned and wondered about. Soon to be 47, never being married and no children. Not that I did not or persently do not have the desire but, deep in my heart I’ve always believed in God’s timing. Yes, I’ve dated but, ALWAYS prayed for God’s choice and will concerning my mate. There has been some things that have happened in my life that as a single person it afforded me to do without question. As a married woman it would have been a major conflict.
I still believe the word of the Lord and I’m still standing on His word. Do I desire to be married one day? Yes, am I willing to continue waiting? Yes. If it never happens for me God is still good and Lord over my life. I totally trust Him because He knows what’s best for me. We live in a day where oh, let’s live together before we get married, let’s test and make love to each other before we get married. WRONG! I live in a time and day were I’m not wanting to displease my heavenly father.
Many today say they’re Christians but, there is a lifestyle that goes along with that. As singles we can refrain and keep ourselves until marriage especially since now being wiser and more mature. I choose to wait on God. Thanks so much for this article it truly blessed me as I want a God choice. To my fellow sisters’ and brothers’ in Christ hold on to God. Continue to seek Him first whether were married or single it doesn’t change God’s love for us. Be Blessed!
(USA) I’m still single at 37. Was told God called me to be single. I want a choice too.
(UNITED KINGDOM) Hello all, I am new to this site I have been looking for signs from God on whether I should marry my fiancé. My family is against it because he is from a different country, though my siblings support me and have seen nothing wrong with him yet. He is very supportive, loving, affectionate, and considerate. In other words he is everything I want in a husband.
I am really torn! What signs should I be looking for from God? I have prayed and so have many of my friends and my mother whose prayers usually translate. I really need help. Does God not want me to marry someone from a different country and that my parents are against, or should I wait a little longer to get an answer? Thank you.
(NIGERIA) I am blessed by this article though I’m a young lady of 30 yrs, still waiting on God to match me with my spouse. I have been confused by many counselors. Some said you have to chose by yourself by looking out for qualities you want in a man and seeking God for guidance. Some said you have to wait on God. I was so confused. I now decided to wait on God til he answers me because he alone knows everything from beginning to ending and also has the final say. Also, whatever he gives though it may not be your choice, it has a better ending.
But how long will I keep on waiting? This is my area of confusion and frustration. But I know my redeemer liveth. May be anyone who reads this article can throw more light on this issue for me, by God’s leading and spirit in you. Stay blessed.
(CANADA) Ok first off I’d like to point out that the Bible also tells us to use our judgement, and that even Paul claims we can choose who we want to marry. I don’t know if you’re implying the thought of “Soul mates” here or something but God has proved time and time again that we get to choose our spouse.
God very rarely actually chose specific people to marry each other. Usually he told them they could marry anyone from their tribe or marry anyone in general as long as their spouse loved God. The only rule was that they both needed to be Christian and they both needed to love God. There’s no where in the Bible where it says we can’t use our own judgement to choose our own spouses. Yes, God chooses spouses sometimes, but very rarely. Love I believe, is something that must be chosen, not forced. If God chooses your spouse all the time that’s almost like forcing love, and I believe God allows us to choose our own spouses because He knows love isn’t love if its forced. And he gives us the judgement to decipher whether a marriage can be honouring to God or not with whoever they choose to love.
(UNITED STATES) Hello, me and a friend have been praying for each other to know if it is God’s will that we date. In a couple of more months we will decide what we feel God wants for us to do that. We have a great friendship. He’s an awesome friend and most importantly he loves God. We want to do Gods will even if that means that we are not the ones that God wants for each other. We would love to, but if it’s not his will we will obey.
So everything is perfectly fine; the only thing is that I’ve had about 5-7 dreams that are not too good, mostly like if he were cheating on me or he hurt my feelings. I know he would never do that, but why the dreams? The weird thing is that it usually happens when I don’t pray before going to bed, because when I tell God to speak to me in dreams if he’s not the one, then I don’t dream anything bad.
(NIGERIA) Please read Job 33:14-18. I believe you will have an answer to this puzzle. God sees what you cannot see, my sister.
(ZIMBABWE) I cant tell you what the dreams mean. But do you have a pattern or revelationary dreams or anything of the sort. Personally I am a great believer in dreams. It was once revealed to me that my boyfriend that I wanted to marry had another girlfriend and made her pregnant in a series of dreams. at the time i dismissed the dreams until it all played out right in front of my eyes.
However, also note that dreams can reflect your own hopes and fears as well. So it is always best to ask God what they mean.
(NIGERIA) I am a born again Christian who has been in the service of the Lord since my teens. I love God will all passion and spend much time praying in my closet. Till now at the age of 31, I have never slept with a woman knowing that God detests fornication even though the temptation has not been very easy for me. But the challange I have is that I have proposed to not less than five Christian sisters that rejested me because I didn’t have a good job.
Now God has showed me great mercy financially, but I find it difficult loving the Christian sisters around me. My heart longs dearly for someone I have not known. The more I pray, the more I find myself helpless about this situation. I believe in God’s will and desire to do it. But things are still not clear yet. Please God’s people, what should I do?
(S.SUDAN) First of all, I congratulate you my brother David, for staying away from fornication. I encourage you to do so for the rest of your life. Even after marriage, just decide to please God not self or people. Concerning your desire to marry, you have to forgive and open a new chapter to be able to choose a good wife.
I am against the idea that God has a certain partner for each one of His holy children. I believe we are all one in Christ Jesus and you can choose anyone who has given her life to Christ Jesus. I think some ideas are not 100% biblical and many verses are twisted by Christian leaders and believers James 3:1, Colossians 2:16-23. What’s important about 2 Corinthians 6:14 is to know that not anyone who says s/he is a believer in Christ is really is see 1 John 2:3-6. Important readings; 1 Peter 1:13-25 and 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12. If married people practised the Christian conduct in Colossians 3:12-15 everything will go well with them. Hope it helped. God bless you.
(UK) That is a wonderful testimony to hear that there are men who have kept themselves for God.
(ZIMBABWE) I am also quite confused about whether God has a specific spouse ordained for us or whether we can simply choose someone godly.
A few years back I dated a man whom I wanted to marry. At some point I decided to pray for our impending marriage. For months during that period I had dreams of him introducing some girl to his pastor as his wife, being with another girl and making her pregnant, of us planning trips but ending up in separate vehicles and numerous other dreams. It all came to a head when I found out that he was indeed dating someone else and that she was pregnant. I prayed desperately to God to miraculously restore our relationship but I was eventually given the peace to let go.
I took all of this to mean that this was not the man God intended for me.
Fast forward to present day and here I am. I met a nice man three years ago. Se are now the best of friends and at some point we both wanted more. However, he says he is trying to get over his ex and is not ready for a relationship or marriage and that I shouldn’t waste my time waiting for him and to find someone who is ready for all that. I am still praying to God for my spouse and have dated some guys since then, which didnt work out. But throughout this period I have had dreams of this man him introducing me to his mother, asking me to marry him, his mother was excited to have me as her daughter-in-law, someone telling me that should we marry our marriage would embody the spirit of family and more.
Now I am confused. Is this person my God ordained spouse? If so he has specifically told me that he is not ready for marriage. What kind of position does this put me in? At the same time the relationships I have tried to move onto have not worked.
(S.SUDAN) My sister Rebekah and everyone, please note that not every dream is from God. There are a lot of examples in the Bible Joseph, Daniel etc, but nevertheless be careful and don’t take big decisions in your life based only on dreams or even influenced by them. Here is something I want you to read, http://www.reformedonline.com/view/reformedonline/famdate.htm Chapter 5: Dating versus Biblical Courtship
To say the truth I don’t agree with all of it but I am keeping these two verses in mind; 1 Thessalonians 5:21 & Mark 9:40. Wish you all the best in Christ Jesus..
(US) I have been divorced for 7 years. I find most women would marry for convenience and not love. So I choose to be single .. I keep trusting in the Lord that he either has someone for me? Or maybe he doesn’t?! I chose my first wife and well my picker was way off…I would rather spend the last 10 years of my life with my Godly soul mate……Than to spend 25 years with another one of my bad choices. So singlensss is good for me. I actually feel God working on me and molding me into an even better man in my so called loneliness .. Good Luck Everyone:-)
(S.SUDAN) Brother Jimmy; read this please http://www.have-faith.org/dating.html
(NIGERIA) What are the ways to hear from God? Is taking names to prophets to pray, part of knowing God’s will for your life?
(NIGERIA) God is more than what we think he is. Deuteronomy 30:19 is the conclusion of God’s will and man’s will, believe it or not it has proceeded out from mouth of God never will it return voided. First and foremost we must be born again, sanctified and zealous in things of God, befor we would be able to hear and be led by God. Gallatians 7:6 every life we live is like a farmer that sows seeds depending on these: 1 time. 2 season. 3 soil type .4 quantity of seed. These will determine what we wlll reap so also is the marriage through the will of God.
(GHANA) Reading through the various comments, I have come to the conclusion that the word of God should be the premise for marriage and relationship. Many times Christians become victims of prophecies and dreams. These two things are very treacherous in considering a partner for life. For this reason Apostle John in his epistle, 1 John 4:1, warn us that we should not believe every spirit, but test that spirit to see whether it is of the Lord. Apostle Paul also said in 1 Cor. 14:29 that two or three prophets should speak and others pass judgment, so a Christian should not hook his or her whole life on a dream waiting that somebody will appear in line with his or her dream; it doesn’t happen that way. The surest way a person can choose a partner from is to walk according to the revelation of the word of God. I have outlined these revelations as follows:
The first step to take is to find out about the person’s faith, whether the person’s faith is in Christ, not just a church goer, but the one who has given his or her life to Christ. This can be known through his or her utterances, if he or she is able to cite the word of God in certain issues. (2 Cor. 6:14-18, 1 Cor. 6:15-20, 1 Cor 7:39)
The second step should be based on agreement. You should be able to agree on majority of issues. Matters of faith should not be compromised, for instance some churches believe in divorce, if you’re not able to convince the person that God hates divorce, then danger lies ahead. (Amos 3:3, Malachi 2:13-16)
The third step to follow is the vision of the person you are considering. One day a Sadducee went to Jesus and tested Him about the resurrection on the grounds of marriage that a certain woman married seven men from the same family and all the seven died so in the resurrection, which of the men will marry the woman? Jesus said in the resurrection we do not marry. In Mathew 19:12, Jesus said that “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He, who is able to accept this, let him accept it.” There are two premises that one can deduce from these passages that marriage is a choice and singleness is from God. A person that will not marry will know this from his or her lack interest in marriage. For this person, singleness will help him or her to accomplish his or her mission on earth that is why God made it so. The rest of us we have to understand that we are on this earth for a mission, and the one we want to marry should fit our mission and goal here on earth. It’s better to remain single than to marry the wrong woman or man won’t fit in your vision.
Finally, marriage should be based on commitment that both should be ready to enter into it. If one person is not committed to the relationship or the marriage, the relationship or the marriage is not going to work. When this happens one has to advice himself that the person is seeing someone else or he or she is not the proper partner for you. Marriage is to compliment each other and if it is one sided, I advice you release the person. Never believe that you were created for the person or you were created for him. If the relationship will not work you’ll sense it in your spirit, because you have the spirit of God in you.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I am young Christian woman, turning 28 to be exact, with a good career. I am at an age where I want to get married. I will be honest with you brethren, as I am honest with God. I am not single. I am in a relationship with a guy who is a “Christian.” Can I say not born again to be precise? He comes from another background of Christianity.
I found the born again guys sort of boring. We treat each other as brothers and sisters. This makes it hard to see them as “brothers” more anything else. So I decided to date someone who knows God, who acknowledges Jesus, as our Lord and Saviour.
I have recently found out that He is cheating on me, for the past 3 months. I love him but… I am so confused. Please help… also add Bible verses for me.
Nonny, There are other articles and links to additional articles and web sites in the “Single Yet Preparing” topic that can help you to sort all of this out. Obviously, this man is not someone you want to end up marrying. You would have a miserable life with him. It’s no wonder that you are confused in all of this. Please keep praying, keep your standards higher than this and pursue learning more about healthy relationships that might lead to marriage. Many others have and are facing this dilemma that may be able to give you good advice. Prayerfully read what they have written, praying that God will reveal to you IF you are to marry, and how to find that man, if so. I pray you find God’s will for your life and if it is to be, that you find a man who will cherish you as Christ loves the church. I wish you well.
(GHANA) Well folks if we are talking about faith and trusting in God then in my humble opinion, faith calls what is not into being…so I’m guessing that whatever the case you will have to search “the right one” for you and by faith believe that he/she is anything short of this means we really don’t understand how faith work.
Remember faith is the substance of things hoped for (you search in the hope of finding…so when you find) the evidence of things not seen (so when you find even though you’ve been married yet you must believe he/she is the right one and trust me, with faith he/she will be) may it be according to your faith. Hope it helped.