In this world there is an overload of information available at our fingertips. We come across all kinds of advice on how we should live out our married lives. And much of it can be GREAT! We can get wonderful advice from family, friends, pastors, counselors, and all kinds of resources (including what we have on the Marriage Missions web site), just to name just a few. However, the best advice you can get is from God Himself as you pray and biblical advice as you read the Bible. What you need is good marital biblical advice.
The Bible is a wonderful guide that God has given us to help us live out the principles for loving our spouse as Christ loves the church.
A friend of the ministry named Debbie sent us the following insight that she found in the forward of her father’s pocket Bible after his death. We believe it to be very true and inspirational as well.
“The Bible contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts binding, its histories true, and its decisions immutable. Read it and be wise. Believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you.
“It is the traveler’s map, the pilgrim’s staff, and the pilot’s compass. Also, it’s the soldier’s sword, and the Christian’s character. Here Paradise is restored, Heaven is opened, and the gates of hell are disclosed.
“CHRIST is its grand subject, our good the design, and the glory of God its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart, and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully. It is a mine of greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.”
As far as marriage advice goes, you couldn’t get any better than you will find in the Bible. In every aspect of life, you can use it as your map, compass, and sword of Truth. That is because it cuts through the garbage that the enemy of our faith tries to get us to embrace. And when you use the Holy Spirit as your Wonderful Counselor to help guide you through the truths given throughout the pages of the Bible, you will learn principles for living that will help you in your marriage.
Helpful Marital Biblical Advice
The following are just a few of the many truths you can use to guide you:
“Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.“ (1 Corinthians 7:27-28)
Even though that advice was given by the Apostle Paul during a time of great persecution, the advice is still something we should pay attention to. If you think you are marrying to ESCAPE trouble, think again. Or if you believe that marriage will be the beginning of an easier life because you’ve found your “soul mate,” think again. Everyone of us has a sinful nature (see Romans 3:23). And all of us come into marriage with our own expectations, temperaments, personality quirks, differing habits, and emotional baggage.
Some of this we know beforehand. But many of these differences will show themselves later in the marriage as we bump into them. For this reason (and many others), building a good marriage can be challenging. It can be wonderful… but it can be challenging. Please recognize this. “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.“
“Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.“ (1 Corinthians 10:24)
That’s tough advice. Please don’t marry unless you are prepared to live by this principle. And if you ARE married, you are not the exception to the rule in living out this out in your everyday life.
Apply This Biblical Mandate:
“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God —even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saves. Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ.“ (1 Corinthians 10:31-33, 11:1)
The question is, are you living your life so that what you do, not only helps your spouse, but it displays what the Lord can do within marriages? Do others see the love and grace of the Lord displayed by your actions? Or are those who don’t know the Lord in a personal way shown a picture of hypocrisy? Are your actions such that the Lord can use you to draw others to Himself?
Words We Can All Relate To At Times:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do, no, the evil I do not want to do —this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.“ (Romans 7:15-20)
Isn’t this true in marriage? Don’t you sometimes do what you know deep inside that you shouldn’t? And then other times you DON’T do what you should. That is our sin nature rearing its ugly head. Sadly, we give into it, over and over again.
But as you read the scriptures above, we hope that you will see how important it is to fight that sin nature. We also hope that you work to give your spouse the grace and space you expect your spouse to give you. He or she is also fighting against his or her sin nature as well.
Justifying Our Sin
It never ceases to amaze us how, when someone is telling us of the terrible things his or her spouse is doing, the statement is made, “I know I’m not perfect either.” But then he or she names off several things that, we’re sure, are equally grievous to his or her spouse. We can be so quick to justify our own actions and try to minimize their importance. And yet we are so quick to condemn the actions of our spouse.
It reminds us of the man in the Bible who was forgiven a HUGE debt. And yet was quick to hold back from forgiving the smaller debt of someone else. WE want grace from our spouse and from the Lord. But we hold back from giving it out when we are the ones who need to forgive.
• “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” (1 Peter 2:12)
We pray you will live “such good lives” —both within your marriage and outside of it. Follow the principles in the Bible for living, and you will love as Christ does. The Bible truly gives the best marital advice of anyone anywhere.
Cindy and Steve Wright
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10 responses to “Marital Biblical Advice – MM #366”
(USA) This is very helpful. Thanks for sharing this with others.
(USA) I agree, it is so important to forgive and to search the scriptures for yourself to see what God says about marriage. I so easily forget that my husband is human and has flaws and makes mistakes just like I do, nobody is perfect… I need to be more quick to forget, forgive, and let go.
(USA) The word of God is the authority over every issue in our lives and should never take second place to the counsel of our friends and family. This post is a great reminder for us of the timeless power of Biblical principles.
Minister Mike and Wanda, Christian Marriage Today.com
(USA) Praise God for His word and His mercy! My marriage is falling apart around me but I am "praising God anyway!" I have faith He will answer my prayers and continue to show me valuable information such as this biblical website for hurting spouses. Blessings, Judy
(INDIA) Thank you so much for message This is very very useful for me & us…
(ZIMBABWE) Marriage is a holy institution which should be kept holy. In marriage divorce is not an option for Christians. Normally, this is brought about by the notion that marriage is a contract in which an unfairly treated partner can walk out. We should respect marriage as an institution of God that is permenant in all aspects.
(USA) I appreciate the website its very helpful and filled with great principles. I need some advise on explaining to my fiance that she needs to dress in a more modest way. She reveals too much and I have gone over this a few times?
I have confronted her in a loving way and she is having a hard time with this. She has made a little bit of progress but it’s not enough.
(AUSTRALIA) Pat – maybe it is work pointing out that women who leave a bit more to the imagination are actually much more attractive and sexy to men! Classy too rather than trashy. Tricky issue. All the best.
(UNITED STATE) I love my husband; he is a good man and I’m seeking help from my Lord and Savior but I can’t help from feeling like I failed my God. I am so thankful for each and everyone of your comments. I will pray about it and ask God to guide me in the right path. I just wish my heart was not breaking in two right now because I just can’t help the way I feel.
(USA) Sheryl-We all “fail” God in one way or another. I got a divorce a few years back, but am living proof that God’s grace will bring any of us through terrible times. I am now married to the one that God built for me and expecting our first child this winter. Know that the feelings that you are having is just the “evil one” sneaking in and we have all the tools to combat him when we turn to God. Just know that you may be turning to God “broken and naked” and revealing all that he already knows…the problem is WE have ignored how broken we are until we come before God asking for His Forgiveness. Your Redeemer lives and he welcomes you to come to Him so go for it and take your Husband with you. Best wishes and God Bless!