One Spouse Became a Christian After Marrying – The Other Hasn’t

Christian after Marrying - Dollarphotoclub_60925637.jpgMy marriage in 1982 was closure to a lonely period of singleness. My new husband was intelligent, caring, and romantic. He also was good looking, had a good long-term career, and kept a clean, well organized apartment. That was enough for me! But he wasn’t a Christian.

In the spring of 1989 my neighbor had repeatedly asked me to church and I had repeatedly refused. I didn’t need church, thank you very much, and I politely made numerous excuses. She, however, didn’t give up. I eventually gave in and said, “yes,” “only for my son’s sake,” I reminded her. Well, GOD had other plans!

A Christian Radically Saved

I was radically saved that first Sunday morning. I had asked many questions in my Sunday school class. Then, during the invitation, I walked the aisle with my Bible study teacher. I remember feeling emotionally worn out that afternoon.

I took my son to the park as my husband was working that weekend, and I reflected on all that had transpired. Little did I know God would begin a work in me that would take me on a spiritual journey I didn’t expect.

Day after day, week after week, month after month I grew closer to God, hungered for Good and began serving Him from my heart. I took my 2 1/2 year old son every time I attended church. My husband would nod his head in approval and wave as we left each week for church.

The spiritual skirmish had begun. Don’t underestimate the enemy. I did not fully understand spiritual warfare and would learn about that as time progressed. I began to grow in my understanding of God’s Word and how Satan opposes a couple’s holy union. Importantly, I would learn about “putting on the whole armor of God(Ephesians 6:10-19).

Standing Firm as a Christian

I would learn that, “standing firm” was mandatory —not an option. My spiritual clothing was necessary for survival as “half of a saved couple.” God desires for you to become “one flesh” —at the altar and in the spirit realm. Satan can’t bear the thought of it. This is where your perseverance plays a huge part.

The enemy will mercilessly bombard you with thoughts, feelings, emotions and physical disdain for your mate. You must “take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and stop looking at your mate as the enemy. Don’t let his actions and words provoke you into disobedience.

Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for building up, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Matthew 18:9 states, “and if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you.” So it goes with your tongue.

Spiritual Murder

Stop committing spiritual murder against your mate! Bite it off and cast it away! Don’t sin by grieving God as you curse the very person God wills to join you to, as ONE!

Remember, “the battle is the Lord’s(1 Samuel 17:47). Earnestly give the salvation of your mate to God in prayer. Early on in your conversion it seems easier to be hopeful concerning your husband’s salvation. You will need an added measure of faith as the years go by.

In Romans 4:18 Paul refers to Abraham by saying “who, contrary to hope, in hope believed.” This is the type of faith you  will need for your husband’s salvation.


God is your spiritual husband while your mate is not yet the priest of your home. Your obedience and submission to Him are essential as God knows our shortcomings and weaknesses; yet He uses them to perfect us in waiting. Perseverance is one thing you will need with a “holy dig in your heels” attitude and a “stubbornness in the Lord” towards the salvation of your mate.

Salvation is a personal thing. I had responded to The Lord’s call, and my husband had his own choice to make.

This article comes from the inspirational book, Mission Possible Spiritual Covering -written by D L McCarragher, published by Alabaster Box Publishing. You can obtain the writings God inspired Deborah to write, in book form, C.D., E-Books, or MP3 Downloads by going to her web site at In this book, McCarragher gives insights the Lord has given her that has helped in her own spiritual journey in an unequally yoked marriage. At the end of each chapter there are scriptures and in-depth questions to better help you in your own journey as you believe God for your husband’s spiritual journey to Him, as well.

— ALSO —

Below are links to other articles dealing with this issue of one spouse becoming a follower of Christ and the other not, and how to best work within that situation, growing the marriage to become the best it can be:



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Filed under: Spiritual Matters Unbelieving Spouse

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3 responses to “One Spouse Became a Christian After Marrying – The Other Hasn’t

  1. (UNIITED STATES) Today –Today is the day that I really needed to read this. I have been on the journey for 7 years. My husband is still not a believer, just as much today as he was when I became a believer. It’s tough as I find myself slipping… today. But I’ll continue to press toward the mark that is Jesus Christ. As soon as I finish this post, I’ll go into the room and embrace my husband and shame the devil. Thank you.

  2. I really needed to read this TODAY! My husband does believe, but he has not given his life to the Lord. He told me the other day that we are on 2 different paths. He’s been very hard to live with since I have given my life to Christ. Please pray for me and my family.

  3. Just because a couple marries, it doesn’t mean God wanted the union. A married couple are to be of one flesh not one spirit.