Pray, Seek Wisdom, Apply

Seek Wisdom angry couple AdobeStock_62220691 copyWhen you find yourself in a difficult marital situation, the best advice we can give you is: pray, seek wisdom, and then APPLY the wisdom that is given to you. It sounds like simple advice, doesn’t it? Yes, it does. But it isn’t easy to apply it. (We know that personally.)

That’s especially true when you’ve done all of those steps and things still aren’t working well. Then what do you do? Once again, you: pray, seek wisdom, and then APPLY the wisdom that is given to you. If that doesn’t work, you go through all of the steps again, and again, and again.

Why?

Sometimes God gives us wisdom that is needed all at once. However, other times, it’s a step-by-step process. Sometimes it’s a long process. (Remember the children of Israel and their trek across the dessert?) But we want to caution you here. Please don’t miss ANY of those steps. Many disgruntled spouses will pray, and that’s great. Seek God first and foremost. But they don’t seek wisdom as if they’re seeking “jewels” (see: Proverbs 8:11) —something that is precious. They want the wisdom to be presented to them on their doorstep —for it to come easily, and handily. In reality, don’t we all? But that’s not usually the way God does things for us on this side of Heaven. God cares more about developing our character than our comfort.

Others pray and seek wisdom, but then they don’t APPLY the wisdom that is given. (See James, chapter 1.) Do you see how we’re emphasizing the “APPLY” step? That is because we hear from SO MANY people who tell us they’ve been praying and praying for their situation. Many even tell us they’ve been seeking everywhere they can for wisdom. And that is good. But then when we dig a bit further, we find out that they didn’t apply the wisdom given to them. Their excuses for this are too numerous for us to even mention. But we can tell you that most of their reasons are just that —excuses.

An Example

We liken it to those who are ill. They go to a physician for help. After careful examination, the doctor advises them to take a certain medicine. The patient is then given a prescription, goes to the pharmacy, and obtains the medicine. But then he or she brings it home and puts the pills on the table and that’s it. He or she never takes one of them (or just a few). Eventually, the cry is heard, “Why do I still feel pain?”

We’re not sure. The reasons could be many. For those who didn’t take the medicine, what did you expect? You did everything you should, but you didn’t follow through with the last step. For those who did, perhaps it will take longer to get better than you thought. Or perhaps you need an entirely different medication, or something else. What should you do? Repeat the first steps you went through, but then apply the different “medicines or therapies” prescribed, until you get better results. Don’t keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

As It Applies to Marriage

This especially applies to marriage problems. Pray, seek wisdom, but then APPLY the wisdom you’ve been given. And if that doesn’t work (after truly applying and giving it time), then prayerfully seek wisdom again. This next time, apply the different advice that is given. Don’t give up. As we’re told in the Bible:

Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.(Galatians 6:9)

Seeking God’s wisdom is something good that you can do for your marriage. (Even if you have to seek it again and again… God rewards perseverance.) But make sure you apply the wisdom you are given. The results may not be what you wanted. But go to God with this. Perhaps there are different variables in the works that aren’t aligned yet, or never will be. Perhaps God has a growth plan in mind that you need to work WITH Him to accomplish. We’re not sure.

But we can tell you that most marital situations are very complicated. There is no simple “one-size-fits-all” formula available. Sometimes it’s simpler; most often it isn’t. Marriage is a “mystery” according to the Bible. It’s also very complicated because there are so many variables involved. As it has been said:

“Getting married is the boldest and most idealistic thing that most of us will ever do” (Maggie Gallagher).

“Ideals Change”

And that is oh, so true. We start out with one set of ideals and later find out that things are much more complicated. If you’ve been married more than a couple of days, you know this is true. And yet each of us, and our love can grow through our times of trials, if we go with God through them. But it isn’t a simple process.

But whatever marriage difficulties you go through, please seek God above all. Pray, and seek the wisdom He can bring your way. “Ask, seek, and knock.” And don’t quit asking, plus, make sure you apply the wisdom He gives to you. Do things HIS way and you will be SO MUCH farther ahead in the whole matter. God cares. Don’t let the enemy of our faith fool you into thinking otherwise. “The Lord is near…” as we’re told in the Bible. He may approach things differently than we would, but His approach brings the better good.

We pray this is helpful.

Cindy and Steve Wright

— ALSO —

To help you a bit further, here is a link to something put together by Focus on the Family:

GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

Print Post

Filed under: Marriage Insights

Join the Discussion

Please observe the following guidelines:

  • Try to be as positive as possible when you make a comment.
  • If there is name-calling, or profane language, it will be deleted.
  • The same goes with hurtful comments targeted at belittling others; we won't post them.
  • Recommendations for people to divorce will be edited out–that's a decision between them and God, not us.
  • If you have a criticism, please make it constructive.
  • Be mindful that this is an international ministry where cultural differences need to be considered.
  • Please honor the fact this is a Christ-centered web site.

We review all comments before posting them to reduce spam and offensive content.

Comments

4 responses to “Pray, Seek Wisdom, Apply

  1. Cindy and Steve,

    Thanks for the great encouragement!

    And I especially loved your closing wisdom “God cares. Don’t let the enemy of our faith fool you into thinking otherwise. “The Lord is near…” as we’re told in the Bible. He may approach things differently than we would, but His approach brings the better good.”

    Many blessings to you, my dear friends in Jesus!

    1. M., Thanks so much, and know that we appreciate your contributions to this web site with your comments and your prayers.

  2. Thank you Steve and Cindy for sharing such truth which is hard to follow. A revelation for me to keep on doing it over and over until it works…Gods rewards perseverance..I will try this out – Pray, Seek Wisdom and Apply Wisdom. May God bless you more with wisdom and knowledge to bless the many who visit your page.

  3. Help us, Lord! Give us wisdom as you said in James 1:5. Help us to apply this wisdom in Jesus name, Amen.