There is most nothing else you can do as important uniting with God and praying for your husband. We can do many things that can help our spouse. But God can do amazing things for him, beyond our “good” things —no doubt!
A number of years ago I was talking with a friend at a Bible study. She told me something she did that changed her whole marriage —for the better. God impressed upon her to simply start praying for her husband regularly. She told me she didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to her to do this every day before then. But when it occurred to her, it really changed so many things. It especially changed her attitude towards her husband. She fell more in love with him and with God.
Eventually, she and her husband also began starting the morning by praying together. That really changed their marriage in impactful ways. As she said, they had a pretty good marriage before praying together. But their relationship went from okay/good to great, as time went on. So of course, they never stopped praying. And neither have we. Steve and I started the same great “habit” from that day forward. It’s now a part of our regular morning to pray together to start the day off right.
I also pray for Steve separately, and he prays for me, but we also pray together each morning. I can’t emphasize how much closer we have become to each other and to God, as a result.
Praying for My Husband
God all the more showed me the importance of praying for Steve several years back. I was angry at him for leaving his clothes hangers out after he changed clothes and left for the morning. (I even wrote a blog about it in an article titled, Praying Over Hangers.) God impressed upon me to stop being mad at him, and instead be thankful that I have him. (I have a lot of friends who are widowed who would love to pick up their husband’s hangers.) God told me I was to pray for the man who was now wearing those clothes that those hangers held. I was to pray for this man who faithfully went to work every morning.
So I did. And it changed my angry heart to one that was thankful to God for giving me Steve. I was also thankful to Steve for being such a hard worker, and a good man. Yes, he left his hangers out sometimes, but yes, it also gave me reminders to pray for him. I should have been praying more for Steve than I was. He’s not a lazy man; just a forgetful one at times. I sure have my forgetful times too.
Praying with an Outline
Over the years I’ve prayed for Steve with and without prayer aids. I feel like when I use an outline, I’m able to better give my husband prayer coverage, as his marriage partner.
Recently, I came up with the following prayer outline (based on scripture). I’m passing it to you. You can use it as a launching point, to pray for your own husband, from head to toe —including his heart, mind, and body. You can use it verbatim, or adapt it, or use it to start praying in a certain direction —and then praying as the Holy Spirit leads.
Please use it and see what you think (just fill in the blanks with your husband’s name).
[NOTE: It is not imperative that you cover every area of his body at one time. What IS important is that you pray for at least one of these areas for him every day… let the Spirit guide you.]
CONCERNING HIS HEART – LORD I PRAY:
- Please remind _____ to “to be careful” to grow and show his love for you with all his “heart, soul, and might.” Help him to “fear the Lord” and live out your word. (Deuteronomy 6:5 and Deuteronomy 6:2)
- Throughout the day, when he is tempted, please remind my husband to guard and “keep” his “heart with all vigilance.” (Proverbs 4:23)
- Please give my husband “a new heart and a new spirit.” Put your spirit within him wherever hardness of heart is starting to grab hold. Guide him to “walk” in your ways. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)
- Where needed, please “create” within _____ a “clean heart” and “renew a right spirit” within him. Cast him “not away” from your presence. “Take not your Holy Spirit away.” Reveal to him that he is close to your heart, so may be inspired to hold you close to his. (Psalm 51:10-11)
- Through our “Wonderful Counselor” —the Holy Spirit, please guide _____ not to “lean” upon his “own understanding” of that, which he cannot make sense of. Help him instead to “acknowledge” and “trust in the Lord” with all his heart, so you can “make straight” his paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
- Remind _____ that no matter what comes his way, to “let the peace of Christ rule” and to let the “word of Christ dwell” within his heart, teaching him in “all wisdom.” (Colossians 3:15-16)
WITH HIS MIND, I PRAY:
- Please help ______ to “be encouraged …knit together” in your love. Guide him to reach for “understanding” within the treasures of your wisdom and knowledge. (Colossians 2:2-3)
- Help _____ to realize that he MUST “destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
- In this world of temptation, please help my husband to “set” his mind “on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” May your priorities, become his priorities. (Colossians 3:2)
- Bring to my husband’s mind those things that you would have him “think about.” May they be things, which are “true …honorable …just …pure …lovely …commendable.” “If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise” guide him to go there with his thoughts and attitude. (Philippians 4:8)
- Despite all obstacles ______ encounters, convict and guide him not to “be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal” of his mind. Help him so he may discern your will. (Romans 12:2)
WITH HIS EYES, I PRAY:
- Please strengthen, and show ______ the importance of, and how to turn his eyes away from “looking at worthless things.” Direct him to seek “life in your ways.” (Psalm 119:37)
- Open my husband’s “eyes” that he “may behold wondrous things out of Your law.” Guide him as he follows You and lives according to Your Word. (Psalm 119:18)
- Please help _____ not to “lose heart” despite all the obstacles he encounters. Help him to see trials as “light momentary affliction” in comparison to all you have prepared for your followers. Guide him to focus on “things that are seen, but on the things that are unseen.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)
- Lord, remind my husband to “be sober-minded, and watchful” as the enemy of our faith is working overtime to “devour” those who are not on the alert. Give him power to “resist”, being “firm” in his faith even when he sees others fall into temptation. (1 Peter 5:8-9)
CONCERNING HIS EARS, I PRAY:
- May our Holy Spirit help ____ to grow in FAITH. Remind him that knowledge “comes from hearing and hearing through the word of Christ.” Please give him a hunger and a thirst to hear more, and to study Your Word, applying what he learns into his life. (Romans 10:17)
- Please open my husband’s ears to clearly hear your voice. Give him opportunities to open the door of his heart wider so you “will come in” and he will partake and have full fellowship and communion with you. (Revelation 3:20)
- Lord, please work within ____ to “not turn backward” and not to be “rebellious” in the way he lives. Open his ears to hear your promptings —not to turn away from you, or from me, should he be tempted. (Isaiah 50:5)
- Guide my husband to be a “doer of the word” and not a “hearer only.” I ask that you lead him so he follows through and does that, which you show him to do. And may he “be blessed in his doing.” (James 1:22-25)
WITH HIS MOUTH, I PRAY:
- Whenever he talks, please “set a guard” over his mouth. “Keep watch over the door” of my husband’s lips. (Psalm 141:3)
- If ______ feels threatened by those who would do him harm, give him bold confidence. And please give him the opportunity to speak your message to them. (Acts 4:29)
- “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking” come out of his mouth. “Instead let there be thanksgiving,” and words of grace spoken to everyone _____ encounters. (Ephesians 5:4)
- Please help _____ to “walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.” Guide him so his speech is “gracious, seasoned with salt,” so he may know how he “ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:5-6)
- For _____ I pray that you help him so he “honors Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks for a reason for the hope” that is in him. (1 Peter 3:15)
WITH HIS ARMS, I PRAY:
- Please give _____ the strength he needs, especially when he feels weak. There is no doubt that your “grace is sufficient” and your “power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
WITH HIS HANDS:
- “I desire that in every place” —no matter where, or what is going on at the time that is upsetting my husband, he will first “pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling.” (1 Timothy 2:8)
- I pray that whatever my husband’s “hand finds to do” —whether he’s at home, his job, or elsewhere, as long as it lines up with your will, he will be led to do it with all of his might. Lead him to put in his best effort, gaining your favor. (Ecclesiastes 9:10)
- May _____ never let go of you. May he hold onto you continually as you remind him that you “hold” his “right hand.” Let him know you are there for him, (Psalm 73:23) and that I am supporting him in prayer.
CONCERNING MY HUSBAND’S LEGS, I PRAY:
- When the enemy of our faith is after ____ I pray you will make him aware that he has access to “take up the whole armor of God.” This way he “may be able to withstand in the evil day.” “Then, “Having done all” please help him to stand firm in you —in your strength. (Ephesians 6:13)
- Thank you for the “great cloud of witnesses” that surrounds _____. Remind him to “lay aside every weight, and sin, which clings so closely.” Empower him to “run with endurance the race” set before him “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:1)
FOR HIS FEET, I PRAY:
- When my husband feels weighted by cares that are dragging him down, please draw him up from that messy, difficult place. “Set” his feet upon a secure place —with Jesus as his “rock.” With Your empowering he will no longer be shaken or feel insecure. (Psalm 40:2)
- Whatever _____ is facing today, keep his “soul among the living.” Protect him, and do not let his “feet slip.” May he remain steadfast in your protective care! (Psalm 66:9)
- I pray for God’s full armor to surround my husband, including spiritual “shoes” for his feet. This way he is fully prepared, firmly planted in Christ when attacks come his way. Empower him to live in “readiness given by the gospel of peace.” Strengthen him to walk in faithfulness, the path God has for him. (Ephesians 6:15)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this prayer sheet.