Are you and your fiancé truly ready for marriage? Have you asked the important questions you should, and truly talked about the different aspects of marriage? Below you will find links to a pre-marriage checklist to help you make this determination. Plus, there is a link to another great tool to help you determine your readiness.
Determine Readiness to Marry
It was a beautiful wedding—almost perfect. With gorgeous weather, an attractively decorated church, and heavenly music, the ceremony flowed smoothly. Megan, the bride, turned to her mother, and beamed, “Mom, wasn’t it just wonderful?” And Mom agreed.
But as the weeks and months passed by, Megan began to realize that while her wedding was perfect, her marriage wasn’t! In fact, she wondered why she and Michael hadn’t seen some of their problems coming long before they decided to marry.
I’m always interested in how married people respond to the question, “How long after you married did you realize that you were going to have serious problems?” To my surprise many say, “On our wedding day!” I remember Keri, a woman in her thirties, saying,
“As I was walking down the aisle, I realized we shouldn’t be getting married. I knew I wasn’t ready. I kept praying to God that when the pastor asked if there was anyone who had an objection, someone would stand up and say so. But no one did. So I went through with it. I kept hoping things would get better. But they didn’t. They became worse! Finally we divorced.”
When I asked Keith how long it took after the wedding to understand that he and his wife were in for some difficult days, he told me it was on the second day of their honeymoon.
To learn more please read the following, written by Clyde M Narramore:
There’s More to Determine Readiness to Marry
“When it comes to wedding planning, there is a tendency to focus on the minor details while neglecting the main point. You are planning the wedding, while neglecting to plan the marriage.”
To help you to better plan for the marriages, Debra Fileta gives you some important things to consider. She talks about them in the Crosswalk.com article (which you should seriously read):
And then, it’s important to include in your pre-marriage checklist —talking together about your social media habits.
You may think this is a minor “whatever” point. You may think that it isn’t really, and won’t really be an issue with you and your spouse-to-be. But trust us when we tell you that the social media can influence the direction of your marriage. We’re talking about the Internet, Facebook, cell phone usage and particular privacy. You need to know what each of you consider “your rights” in each of these areas. Not knowing this ahead of time can bring a lot of conflict into your marriage.
To help you:
Below is a link to an article written by K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky. They call themselves the “social media couple.” This will start you on your way to discussing matters that could significantly reveal your readiness in marrying. If you don’t hold the same values, if you both are on different pages when it comes to how much and how “private” you will be in your usage of the social media, then it would be best to at the very least to delay marrying.
Most couples wouldn’t want to think about this (especially if a wedding is already scheduled and mostly paid for). But you also don’t want to be in the same place the couple in the first article found themselves. They later realize they shouldn’t be marrying. It’s better to be honest with each other now and face potential problems at this point. You don’t want to live with major marriage problems later, when this could have been prevented.
So, please read and honestly discuss the issues raised by this next article by clicking onto:
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Marriage Prep Tools