Is it possible for a marriage to come to life when love appears to be long gone? YES! Without a doubt resurrected love within marriage IS possible! Jesus was resurrected from the dead, so why would God not have the power to direct a resurrected love within a dead marriage?
The following is a true testimony; written by Nancy DeMoss, in the devotional, The Quiet Place: Daily Devotional Readings that demonstrates this point.
Resurrected Love Within Marriage
“Jeannie and her husband were 5 or 6 years into marriage, and whatever feelings had once been there were long gone. Hate was not too strong a word to describe what raced through her heart whenever she was angry with him. In a desperate attempt to salvage what little was left of their relationship, they planned a Valentine’s getaway and hoped something might spark. It didn’t.”
“Yet while forcing their way through a strained, disappointing weekend, with no storybook romance to come to their rescue, they did exercise the self-control and presence of mind to make one new promise together: they would stop speaking harshly to each other. It just wasn’t worth the effort and emotion anymore. Nor would they confide and complain to friends, ‘Do you know what he did? Do you know what she said?’ Surely they could do that much.
“Sometimes the big things really do come down to size when we start doing the little things —like not talking cruelly to each other, not unleashing our little put-downs, not giving unkind reports behind their back. At least that’s what happened in Jeannie’s situation. Six months down the line, they looked up from their once decaying marriage and found that God had indeed resurrected what was dead and dying. Twenty years later, their lives have become a picture of committed, joyful love.
“Not every bad situation is sure to get better like this. But it will never happen unless someone is willing to surrender their rights even in simple, basic ways.”
Replanting Seeds
That’s so true. Someone has to be the hero, to replant seeds of love. Even if the other spouse never allows them to grow, it’s the right thing to do. We need to participate with God in showing sacrificial love. And often times, that love, planted, watered, and patiently waiting for it to grow, ends up blossoming into more than we ever thought possible —something revealing and reflecting the heart of Christ.
I know this to be true because it happened to us. We were so close to divorce earlier in our lives together, but then God helped us to build a new, resurrected love. It was something we never thought would be possible. You can read about it in the article:
• THE LOVE STORY OF STEVE AND CINDY WRIGHT
You can also read and watch other on line testimonies of resurrected marital love by going into the “Save My Marriage” topic:
• SAVE MY MARRIAGE TESTIMONIES
Reinforcing Point
Also, here’s something that reinforces the point of following the lead of Christ, which can bring about miracles within marriages. It was featured in the July 31, 2014 devotional page in “The Word For You Today”:
“Jesus spent much of His ministry tearing down barriers and building bridges. He did it through acts of love such as washing the feet of those who would fail and betray Him, eating with a tax collector everybody in town despised, and giving hope to a fallen workman that society condemned. The Bible says, ‘Peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness‘ (James 3:18).
“Words of peace are like seeds. They don’t produce fruit overnight, but slowly and silently they work their way to the surface, changing hearts, minds, attitudes, and futures.
“Doctor Robert Oppenheimer, the noted physicist who masterminded the first atomic bomb, was asked by a congressional committee if there was any defense against it. Addressing a hushed audience he replied, ‘Yes —peace!’
“Now, if peace can defuse an atomic bomb, think what it can do in the lives of the people you come in contact with! Jesus said, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.‘ Every day you’ll meet freighted, despairing, lonely, angry people who need a word of peace. Do you have one?”
What about for your spouse?
How about calling a Truce —coming together to find ways to tear down walls of conflict and instead work together to build healthy relationship bridges? Be intentional. Look for ways to be kind, and compassionate, giving grace (as you want grace given to you). Make sure you are speaking words of peace. It may be a sacrifice, but in giving it, you are being Christ-like. Keep in mind what we’re told in the Bible:
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3)
We pray God will bless your marriage in amazing ways as you look to Christ as Savior and Lord!
Cindy and Steve Wright
Filed under: Marriage Insights
I left my 4.9 year marriage because rather than a husband I felt like a caretaker for someone who wanted to be cared for both physically, emotionally, and financially. Seems like the bulk of the housework and the care of the yard, and animals fell primarily on me. My work included a long morning commute and a extra long evening commute daily after a 10 hour or more work day. My weekends were always filled with the care of a grandchild who was my spouse’s son that was heavily involved with meth and alcohol.
When I met my wife she was 130# and when I left she was approaching 200#. We seemed to be on some sort of diet all the time with me losing weight and her gaining because of binge eating. We started together a Celebrate Recovery group at our church but after almost four years of pressure I bowed out; it was not joyful anymore although I witnessed many miracles. A year before I left I made every attempt to help with behaviors that my spouse developed over many years of both alcohol and drug abuse that was even more difficult for me to understand not having that sort of background. The woman I spent a solid year courting had somehow disappeared leaving me to fend for my own physical and emotional needs. We did counseling only to discover that my previous marriage of 28 years was impacting my new marriage because there was no drug and alcohol abuse and the fact I was only three years divorced before feeling the pressure to marry not wanting to live in sin.
I pray and will continue to pray for God’s intervention and healing of the marriage but after nearly 4.5 months away there are no signs of change on my spouse’s part. I was physically and emotionally drained by the life that was my spouse’s because I just was not equipped to understand what she had been through prior to our marriage. At 58 years old I could no longer absorb the psychology of the relationship with someone who at 50 was clean and sober for just under 10 years. And because of her unwillingness to live healthy, eat healthy I was ignored physically during my last year with her, then blamed for poor performance on my part.
I would gladly return tomorrow but again after 4.5 months away nothing has changed. My heart is broken and my value has declined because I felt unworthy of her not wanting to help with the daily chores and responsibilities. I pray for her daily; she prays for a new beginning and restoration of the marriage sending me this link to read. I do believe God can resurrect any relationship but we must participate in that reserrection.
My wife is a beautiful woman inside and has demonstrated it by her service of CR and recovery in general. But the behaviors of decades of abuse has engrained issues of habit that was and is destructive to love and marriage. Love is no feeling; it’s a choice and I chose to love her to the point of my own decline in health.
In my 13 years of marriage I have learned that marriage is not a joke; it is hard work and both parties must agree to both work on it. If the other part is not willing to at least talk about the problems it can be very frustrating. I have learned to pray about everything and let God who created all things including marriage take control.
I wish people before they got married would not be only excited about the wedding day but would prepare for the journey ahead. I believe that whatever God has created the devil will always want to fight and destroy it so we should know who our enemy is. We are not fighting flesh and blood, our enemy is wicked and will try to destroy us to the finish. Fight the good fight of faith. God bless.
GREAT points Onalenna. We are in total agreement on the things you have written. How I wish more spouses and those who are planning to marry would realize these things! May God bless you in your marriage as you participate with God in working against the real enemy –the enemy of our faith.