The following article is written to women who are dealing with their husbands who have left them, but the same principles can also apply to men who are dealing with their wives who have left. During separation, time can be your friend, whether you are a woman or a man. We encourage you to pray, glean, and see what God could be saying to your heart.
“They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles.“ (Isaiah 40:31)
Because your emotions are so turbulent, you may think no happy answer to your situation is possible. Your thoughts may run the gamut from a fairy-tale ending to the worst possible outcome. When you find yourself in this state for very long,you may be tempted to do whatever will give a clean resolution. You may want closure, even if that means doing what you really don’t want to do. But making rash decisions may be something you will woefully regret later. Time may be your friend, if you let it.
Difficult Advice to Hear
When this disaster first swooped down upon me, my friend Toni Jo said something that shocked me at first. I didn’t want to hear it.
“Don’t be in a hurry,” she said. “Give him as much time as he needs. He’s confused and needs to figure himself out. Tell him to take a year if he needs to figure out what he wants.”
“A year!” I exclaimed. “A year?”
“What’s a year in a whole lifetime?” she asked. “If it takes a year for him to figure things out, and then you have thirty more happy years together after that, wouldn’t it be worth it?”
As it turned out, it took three years for my husband and me, not one. But yes, it was worth it.
Don’t Make Rash Decisions
Trusting God includes waiting on him to do whatever he is trying to do during this process. Because God does not force his loving work into our lives, making rash decisions can preclude God from accomplishing new dimensions of spiritual and emotional growth in you and your mate as well as others around you. We need to give God time.
Waiting is extremely hard when each day weighs us down with an eternity of suffering. But time has a way not only of healing but also of giving perspective. What may seem true to your mate today may look different to him tomorrow. Each new encounter between the two of you can set him or you off in a different relational direction, either positive or negative.
Many years of clutter may need to go through the filter before the gemstones of your life together can become clear. If your husband has separated from you, he may be trying not to even think about you now. He may be focusing only on what he can make sense of. And that probably is not you and your relationship. Most likely he is filling his mind with work and other interests that keep him aloof emotionally.
During Separation Time Can Be Your Friend
During moments of deep depression, when you really want to give up, pick up your Bible and let God speak to you. Listen to what he says to you at that particular time. He wants to strengthen you, and you need strong wings if you’re going to mount up on the wings like eagles. Wait on the Lord. Remember, he is able to do more than we could ever imagine. But sometimes it requires time.
“Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the LORD, my cause is disregarded by my God?’
“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint“ (Isaiah 40:26-31).
This article is written by Linda W. Rooks and comes from the book, Broken Heart on Hold: Surviving Separation
You can also visit Linda’s Web site at Brokenheartonhold.com where she has “individually formatted a number of Bible verses for your strength and encouragement.”
Filed under: Separation and Divorce
(USA) My heart is broken… My husband left me in October & I have seen him once since then. I couldn’t be more confused. We talked a ton in the months of separation but this last month NOTHING. He has repeatedly threatened me with divorce papers but thank GOD they have never come. I need help with continued prayer to stand for my marriage.
(USA) I understand how you’re feeling as I am being told by everybody to take care of myself and pray. If he has not sent you any divorce papers this might be a good sign. It has been a while, but seeing him only once in all this time has to be very hard on you. You have the right to be confused about this, I feel for you. It is so difficult to want to love our husbands and not be able to see them and the times we see them. Their behavior seems so unattached to us, unlike before the break-up.
I’ll be praying for both of you. I hope he comes around and realizes his place is next to you.
(USA) My husband asked me for a divorce last Thursday over the phone a day before coming to see me in LA. He added that was not coming after all. I was in shock as I listened to his words. We talked for a while and managed to convince him to come see me because we had not seen each other for about 7 weeks.
We started talking in 2006 and met on 2007. Then, we got married August 16th 2008. He lives in Canada and I have tried to find work as a teacher without success, yet. He cannot move here because of his daughter. He came to see me in the end and we spent the weekend together.
On Saturday we had a chance to have a talk and he told me more of the issues that made him decide on divorce. He just doesn’t see me moving there and that I do not know how to keep my cool around his daughter’s mom. She does manipulate him because of his daughter. Anything she asks for she gets, my husband said that his daughter is number one. I know this, and when he said that I realized that. Even though I meant well and show love for his daughter, I was not really making her number one as well. Then, I could have dealt better with the mother’s games perhaps saved my husband extra stress.
I called him yesterday to say that I wanted to go see him to which he said that his mind is made up and we’ll just argue. I said can we still talk sometime. He said, what do you suggest? Well, I said, I called you today, maybe you could call tomorrow, depending on your schedule. He said that he will call on Sunday.
I will say that I have been thinking of going to therapy and if he could join me. I’ll ask him to think about going with me to offer support to me. I’ll say that I’m looking for therapist in his area. My intention is help myself to find closure, but also to get him to come with me for counseling. Then, I will says that I will call him to give him the information.
I am praying that there is still love in his heart for me, to accept me to go there, and together to go to counseling. Of course, I will stress that it is for me in order to clear the confusion about his abrupt decision. My doubts are if I am pushing him by doing this, or should I wait a little more time to give him space to think it over. Please, I want my marriage to survive this challenge. Can somebody out there help me pray for our marriage to make it this difficult time? Thanks.
(USA) Lourdes, Surrender your marriage to Jesus, and ask the Holy Spirit to work in you. Just a paper does not mean divorce –even after divorce, the Lord can work miracles. Just tell your husband that you love him, and that you are there for him. If he wants a divorce tell him you want to be sure from your end, and that is why you need him to go for counseling.
It will be okay, have faith in Jesus. He did not die in vain, He died for us. I feel in my heart that you will be okay –He is watching and He is holding you in His heart and His love.
(USA) Technically my husband left me over four months ago, but he had mentioned he was thinking about it at the end of Feb. He was distant to say the least, not answering phone calls or texts. You see we had been living separately for awhile. We first moved in with my parents in 12/09 but in August my brother and his wife and daughter moved into my parents house too. At this point their schedules were way different than ours, causing my husband to get no sleep for work. He moved into his moms with the intention of us getting our own place shortly after. However moving then turned into Sept.
After we went on our annual vacation to Mexico, I got really sick on vacation. Then it turned into moving in Nov. He only has off every other weekend from work, but now he was working every weekend because it was busy. It turned into moving out together after the new year. The truth is I should have known something was wrong when he kept delaying us moving in together.
But I just realized tonight we were going through a rough patch. I started looking for rental houses, we were seeing to move in Dec. when something terrible happened. My 27 year old brother who I was currently living with us died of an accidental drug overdose in our bathroom on 12/19/10. Instead of dropping everything and staying with me that week, he chose to mainly sleep at his moms. I thought he got freaked out, so Christmas came and he was here for three days in a row. So everything was okay or so I figured, but that’s when he got really distant, not answering calls or texts, not coming over for New Years Eve or day.
We didn’t see eachother much until Feb. when he came over with flowers for the whole family, my mom, my sis-in-law and our niece for Valentines Day. Then out of the blue at the end of February he told me on the phone he was really depressed and wanted to move back to MN where he grew up. Things just went downhill from there. He still came over and hung out. At some point he told me he loved me still, but didn’t want to stay together. I didn’t really get a reason from him because I had just lost my brother and was begging for him not to leave. All he said was that he would love me for the rest of his life, never get married again, that I was beautiful and would find someone great. Still just said he couldn’t do “it” anymore whatever that was.
When I asked him about divorce he said he didn’t want to divorce because he still wanted to take care of me. I told him he couldn’t have it both ways. He wanted to be in my life, blah blah. That encounter left with me standing in the driveway bawling and him driving away.
I have not spoken to him since April 3rd. He will not return my calls. I have written him letters. He has a new phone number that I don’t know, which he says he got because I kept threatening to shut off his phone in my name and he needed a phone for work. I don’t even know if he lives with his mom anymore because I have driven there a couple times and haven’t seen his car. His brother won’t tell me anything because he doesn’t want to get involved.
The one time I did need to get in touch with my husband I had to go through his mom which is ridiculous. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think he would ever cheat on me because of his history of being cheated on, plus his mom cheating on his dad and his brother cheating on his wife. It repulsed him and we always talked about how that would be the worst thing and just to be honest. But with his behavior before we split, the new cell phone, him not taking to me, I just don’t know.
I think he is just depressed and shutting everyone out, because that is what he has done in the past. But then I read articles about cheating husbands and his behavior fits that too. The worst is the not knowing. Whether he just needs time, or he has found someone else. I pray to God every second of every day to enlighten me. I want him back, I have so much and am so alone.
I stopped going out and having friends because of him. My sister-in-law took my niece and moved. It’s like I lost everyone I care about the same time. At the same time he left, not just me, but my parents who just lost a son to death and my husband who was a son to them. He abandoned our niece who needed him more than ever after her dad died (he was/is her favorite person in the world). I’m so angry at him for leaving me, leaving us when we needed him most, but I still love him with all my heart and want him in my life.
I guess I feel like I deserve it because all of last year I was on pain medication prescribed by a dr, but really I was an addict who treated my husband horribly. I am struggling to not contact my husband because I know it will do no good. He won’t talk to me until he is ready. But then I want to file for divorce just to get some kind of closure. Please help me. I believe God will give me the right answer, but has anyone ever had their spouse just cease contact? Sorry for the long story, I felt it was necessary to explain everything.
(USA) This post helped me. My husband wants to separate and has already taken an apartment. We have been married for 12 years and have two kids. I cannot handle the pain, and after 12 years, I surrendered my marriage to Jesus. It is at the foot of His cross and I know it will be healed.
Externally, I do not see any hope in my marriage, but deep inside my Lord is working in both of us. He will create a new marriage which will be better than the old one. The Holy Spirit will bring us both into the love of Jesus and this marriage will be healed. He is bound us together with cords that cannot be broken –and this marriage will be a beacon of love and hope in the years to come.
I know this with a deep conviction, and I am posting this because I want millions of my sisters to have faith. If we have faith as much as a mustard seed, we can move mountains. It will take time, but it will be beautiful in His time—-He makes all things beautiful in His time. I have faith that I will come back to this site and post about the victory of my Lord.
Surrender your problems to the Lord, and He will take every single one of them and make them beautiful.
(USA) Rachelle, and other posters on this site. I want to have faith and hope, but it has been over four months since he left and the same amount of time I have had no contact with him. I pray every second of every day and I am trusting God to fix my marriage, but honestly I don’t know. I have no clue what my husband is thinking. He could be with someone else for all I know.
If I found that out I would be devastated as the last words he told me was that he loved me and wanted to take care of me, but couldn’t do “it” anymore, whatever that is. I am already so heartbroken because he just left without even trying to work on our marriage. He promised me he would love me and take care of me forever, so how is it so easy for the love of my life to just walk away and not say a word to me for over four months? I feel like trash.
All the pictures I have, every memory I have is with my husband, how do you overcome now having nothing? I won’t have anything from the past nine years of my life, because I’m supposed to move on from those memories, even though it’s all I have. I just need to talk to him. I think the not knowing what is going on is making it worse. I even pray just for that. Closure, something to get me out of this despair I feel to the depths of my soul.
It’s not getting any better, just worse everyday I don’t talk to me my husband. I truly need some prayers. I have never felt this much pain in my life and it is affecting me mentally and physically. What do you do when none of your prayers are being answered? Please give me some guidance.
(USA) Thank you for your article. I have been in a storm for over three years. I heard those cutting words several times since “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” I’m convinced my wife, former 1st lady, has had an affair with a co-worker but I haven’t been able to prove it. She stays at work late, she’s changed her appearance and shows a lack of respect towards me by staying out till 5 AM.
I used to pastor a church but the stress and problems in my marriage were too much. I left the ministry and now I’ve decided to leave my wife. I’ve tried for three years to be patient and loving. Rarely do we go out, and share intimately. She shares more with my step-daughter than with me. She spends more time on the job than with me and when I want even a small conversation she complains that she is tired. I’m done.
I’ve trusted God but I’m at a crisis of faith. He did not show up in my ministry and now my marriage is on the brink of failure. I can’t take it anymore. All my life I’ve had to deal with rejection, and now my own wife is doing the same, only openly, knowing the only reason I’m still in her life is the security I bring financially.
I desperately want to believe that God is at work but honestly I just don’t see it. So, I’ve found an apartment and plan to move out at the end of October. I can’t compete with her job, her daughter, her single friends at work and whoever else in her life. I have to move on.
Please pray for me that I remain strong and courageous for there are times when after a while my heart softens for her and I run back to her hoping and expecting to be love only to be disappointed and frustrated. But this time my mind is made up -I am leaving unless the Good Lord Stops Me.
Dear Keith, First, brother, I grieve with you for the pain you’ve been experiencing in your marriage. You need to find a support base that truly understands the dynamics of what’s going on. I urge you to contact the Pastoral Care department at Focus on the Family (1-800-A-FAMILY). Their web site is http://www.parsonage.org. You will find people to talk to who can help you deal with the pain and the loss.
I also want to urge you to take the “D” word off the table for right now. It’s not that you’re not biblically justified in divorcing her, but I want you to allow God the “elbow room” to work on your wife’s heart. You can move out, but do so with the intention that this is a separation with a purpose. It may or may not be a wake-up call for your wife. We have a number of articles on our web site that can help you devise a plan for reconciliation and healing. I know you’re exhausted from “trying” the past 3 years. I know you feel God has been silent in this the past 3 years. But remember, in light of eternity, this isn’t even a blip of time.
Let me ask you a question: What will give God more glory – you divorcing your wife for her unfaithfulness, or you standing for the healing of your marriage and pursuing with intentionality a course to find help for yourself first, and then help for your marriage?
Some things that Paul Tripp wrote in his book, “What Did You Expect” came to mind to share with you as well, as you are in this waiting room experience in your home:
“God is in control not only of the locations in which you live, but also of the influences that have shaped you as a person. He has not only written the story of you and your spouse and determined that your stories would intersect, but he has controlled all the things that have made you different from one another.
“As you struggle, you must not view your marriage as bad luck, or poor planning, or as a mess that you made for yourself [although any or all of this could contribute to what is happening to you that is causing you to question God]. God is right smack-dab in the middle of your struggle. He is not surprised by what you are facing today. He is up to something. [The question is, will you participate with Him in this, or fight against Him?]
Keith, when you said, “yes” to God to become a pastor, you became one of satan’s prime targets to take down – any way he could. He knows that when he can destroy a pastors marriage it will take out many more believers as well. My wife, Cindy, reminded me of something a pastor of ours preached on many years ago about what happened to Jesus’ mother, Mary, she she said, “yes” to God: He said, “The point of life is not to focus on the blessings of life, but to be a part of God’s bigger story. Think of Mary (the mother of Jesus) and how she suffered more when she said ‘yes’ to God than she had ever suffered before. But God used her life in immeasurable ways for the good of more people than we could ever imagine.”
It’s not that I’m trying to compare you to Mary, but rather to help you to see that God may have a bigger plan here and may be asking you to participate with Him in being His colleague in showing your wife Godly love — love she may never have had the opportunity to experience otherwise. What she does with it, I don’t know, but at least she will know it, as she sees it in and through you.
Here’s one more thought from Paul Tripp for you to consider, again from his book “What Did You Expect”: “There are moments in our marriages when we’re crying out for grace, not recognizing that we’re getting it. We’re not getting the grace of relief or release, because that isn’t the grace we really need. No, what we’re getting is something we desperately need, the uncomfortable grace of personal growth and change. With the love of a Father, your Lord is prying open your hands so you’ll let go of that which rules your heart but will never satisfy you. With the insight of a seasoned teacher, He is driving you to question your own wisdom so that you will let go of your understanding and rest in His. With the skill of the world’s best counselor, God is showing you the delusions of your control so that you will take comfort in His rule. With the gentleness of a faithful friend He is facing you toward the inadequacies of your own righteousness so that you find hope in His.
“When you are tired and uncomfortable because you are living with someone who is not like you, what you tell yourself about what you are going through is very important. It is in this moment that you must preach to yourself the theology of uncomfortable grace (See Romans 5; James 1; and 1 Peter 1), because when you do, you begin to be less resistant and more appreciative, and you are on your way to forging a marriage of unity, understanding, and love.”
Keith, I hope some of what I’ve shared will help you now, and in the weeks to come. You are locked in a spiritual battle. Be the Warrior God has called you to be to continue to battle the enemy of our faith for your wife and God will receive all the glory! –Steve wright, Marriage Missions International
(USA) Thank you Steve. In some strange way your comments about godly love struck a nerve. It seemed like confirmation. I do want to try, and I still love my wife very much, but it’s so hard at times bearing up under the pressure. I will call Focus on the Family and explore other resources that might aid me in this struggle. Again thank you so much for taking the time to minister to me such words of encouragement and conviction.
(USA) My heart grieves for all of you, and my prayers plead to the Father for reconciliation.
I’m into my second year of separation. My husband tried coming back, but gave up after three days. I have no idea what caused him to leave again, but since the children and I are praying that his heart will be transformed by Christ, he must not be ready yet.
Linda’s book has helped me all through this dark time. I cannot recommend it enough. She has such great insights, and always brings the focus back to God. I have grown so much in Christ through this experience. My heart is broken for my marriage, and there are hard days, but there have also been days of extreme joy. I also recommend a book called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are
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But most of all, I recommend spending time with our heavenly Father in His word, especially the Psalms. Isaiah 41:10 is a huge verse for me. Another book that focuses my complete dependence upon Jesus (The Shepherd) is A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23
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I recognize my responsibility in this mess. I am to be blamed for our marital problems as much as my husband, but NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE with God! If He can bring a dead man to life, He can raise up our dead marriage.
A friend of mine was divorced from her husband for three years, but she trusted God with her marriage, and now it is better than ever. Even up to the day before they reconciled, he said he would never return home. But God was in charge and changed his heart in a moment. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE IN CHRIST! He asks us to trust Him and obey. Also we must stop trying to manipulate things and let Him do His will.
(USA) Kathy, I, being a Christian and raised in the church, am so confused. I saw the last paragraph on what you stated about God is in charge and changed his heart in a moment??
I have battled with this back and forth and although I know God is in charge he cannot force someone’s free will. I too find myself separated for going on 7 months after 31 years of marriage. I am not functioning much. I was in nursing school when all this started August 2011. He has no addictions but we fight over things he says he knows he needs to change but fails at them. We have talked many, many times but he is so passive and laid back and simple minded that nothing changes, which after time after time of saying he would step up and lead our home and change things, even he knew need changing, they didn’t.
I reacted badly many times out of frustration knowing I wanted our home Godly and consistent. It was always that he threw all the responsibility on me (things that were his job to handle) and when he would get mad about something he would call me controlling. I like peace and rather than make him more mad I would just do whatever he needed done. My story is long. So for right now I just ask for prayer as I am even angry at God since I was close in walk with him serving him and loving my family so much, only to be thrown in the lake of fire. I am not perfect but sure did my best to do things right.
I made my mistakes in the reaction of my husband’s failures and now see that what he did or didn’t do right way, was not a big deal at all. I just should have let God handle him instead of trying to do God’s job to chance him. Worried it’s too late!!! I walked in Walmart yesterday and had a terrible panic attack seeing all the Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations. I love the holidays and with no family I will be alone unless God does a miracle. I’m very depressed and devastated, much more than anyone knows. I’ve tried counseling but still have to come home to an empty house. God help me please!!
(USA) Well, I just wanted you guys to get an update. I wish it was good news, but I talked with my wife about counseling and she reluctantly agreed saying she saw no use for it at this point. She cited the fact that she wanted to be able to go out when she was ready to and secondly, she wasn’t interested in being intimate with me anymore.
My sons are crushed because I finally told them that mom and I were splitting but my wife is so stubborn and proud and wants things her way. At this point I told her that she was free to go as she pleased, not to worry about sex and forget about counseling. I just don’t believe anymore that God is with me and my marriage. I tried to give him room but its been useless and I cannot stay with a woman who doesn’t love me and find more satisfaction outside the home.
I’m trying to keep my faith in God and I really wanted Him to be glorified but I just don’t see it. On top of that she wants me to stay at home until after Christmas –she has no heart and doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she is only using me. I suffered a lot of injustices in my life from being abandoned at 2 months old up until now and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this one. Like Job, I curse the day I was born.
(USA) Why wouldn’t you stay home even after Christmas? If she doesn’t want to be your wife, she can leave you and the kids. No need for you to move out. No need to wait for Christmas either. If she wants to end the marriage, put her suitcases on the porch and change the locks.
I know, you really can’t change the locks. But whatever you do, do not leave the marital home and do not allow her to take the children from the marital home. Tell her the cage door is open and she is free to go. But she’s not free to kick you out, or to take away your daily living with your children.
(USA) My husband left 2 months ago; he said he didn’t love me anymore. My heart is broken. I have a daughter with him and a son from a previous marriage. I feel so empty. Things have gotten a lot better in this past month, but he is still set on divorce. I want my family whole again. I miss him more than anything. I pray God will point him in the right direction. I’m only 26. My family is all I have. Please Lord, bring him home.
(UNITED STATES) My husband and I have been together for about seven years and have had a rough time. I feel as though I need a separation and he is unwilling to give me one. I have told him that I am not sure I am in love anymore and I need time to figure things out. We have children and I know it hurts him but I am miserable. Counseling isn’t working but he said if I leave, it is over. I have no clue what to do.
(USA) My husband left 3 months ago and said his feelings have changed and he fell out of love with me. We have two daughters under 2 1/2 years old. I pray we can work through this. I believe in marriage and the vows we took in front of the Lord. I cherish them! Please pray for my family, that my husband and I will survive this and come out on top. I want nothing more then to remain a family. God Bless.
(BOTSWANA) My wife of three years moved out nearly a month ago, that morning as I left for work we kissed, exchanged words of love yet in the evening when I returned she and all her belongings had gone, into a rented place she must have found and planned to move to. We have had a stressful several months following her miscarriage nearly a year ago, but otherwise our five years together have been so good, and I am ever thankful for that time especially as following a breakup in my previous relationship, I never wanted another one – yet we met and fell for and healed and gave ourselves to each other totally, her previous relationship had been abusive causing her to leave and receive counselling. As our doctor advised after the miscarriage, I have been giving her quiet and patient love, waiting for her to feel able to talk about the trauma, but that never happened she just abandoned me and our marriage with no warning.
Her cell message to me was ‘Its over there will never be us again I dont love you. Leave me alone I want peace and quiet’ Since then she has never responded to any message. She has been spending a lot of time this year with a lady, who may call herself a ‘prophet’ and is giving her some kind of counselling and support. Her family is also at a loss to understand and she wont speak to any of them either, they are distressed as she is acting so unlike her normal self.
She is a complicated lady, having suffered mental and physical parental abuse as a child, and carries scars from that, yet is so outwardly strong and all these characteristics are part of why I love and care for her so much. I pray for her to be safe constantly as I fear what the people she is in contact with have in mind for her, I know she gives them money enough for them to want to keep some kind of hold over her.
Is prayer enough? Does giving her time just risk her being pulled further away? Will trying to give her support and love just drive her away? Will she interpret being given space as a sign of being unwanted, as she feels her parents did? Every option seems both right and wrong at the same time. I pray for guidance but mostly that she be unharmed in any way coz she is so vulnerable physically and mentally
(USA) Hello. I have just quickly read over some of these mails, and just found this website. I can’t wait to get home and read fully later this evening.
I have been separated from my husband for just over six months. He left me, and in the beginning he would not even speak to me and there was no hope whatsoever. I begged and pleaded and promised, but no way was he coming back.
I am not a religious person, but grew up Catholic and had lost my faith during the years. When this happened I did not know what to do or who to turn to, so I turned to God. I have been praying constantly every day for the past six months to God to save my marriage and he has definitely, without a doubt, answered my prayers.
Sometimes extraordinary things happened to me through little novenas I have said and sometimes when I have been in utter despair and begged God to let me get an email from my husband, when I knew my husband had NO interest in emailing me, the email suddenly popped up right then and there, or sometimes during the next hour.
I have grown immensely during the past six months, both in my relationship with God and myself and recently my husband asked me to go out to dinner twice! Both times were fantastic and fun. The last time we went to dinner I said I was going to a movie later. He insisted on coming with me although he was exhausted. We had a great time and left with him thanking me and sending 3 follow up thank you for a great night emails, and asking if we could repeat soon.
It is a very personal reason why we split up, but there was NO HOPE of him ever wanting to even speak to me again when it first happened.
The thing I asked God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit every day is that I come to them with my own human free will, and through God’s will to please answer my prayers and save my marriage, to give me the wisdom to rebuild my marriage into the best possible relationship I can to honor God’s name. I feel God is answering my prayers.
(UNITED STATES) My husband left three weeks ago. He has been by about every other day to see our son. He says he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore and needs time to think. He says our relationship was so volatile that I pushed him away by being controlling and saying things I didn’t mean. We still are being intimate and says he has hope for us but is most the time distant and doesn’t pick up when I call.
I have been to a counselor and have been working on the things I can change and praying for strength. He definitely is not a good communicator and hasn’t talk to anyone about his feelings or doing anything to feel better. Every time I ask him what I can do to make it better for us he says he doesn’t know. I think maybe he has a some depression. I love him so much and just keep telling him how much I love him and how great I think he is. I feel like I am doing everything I can but sometimes feel so hopeless and lonely.
(GERMANY) My wife and I have both have had affairs both four years apart. I told her I think we need time apart. We have a 8 year old son. The silent weeks and stressful environment is wearing us down. Seperating seems to be my only choice. I have also told her I would not mind advice from a counselor. Can we survive after two affairs?
(ENGLAND) My husband left me 2 weeks ago, saying that he does not love me anymore. I tried to find out why, but he would not explain the reason for his unhappiness. I am heartbroken & every day takes enormous effort to get through. However, he is corresponding with me by texts & says that he is missing me too & that maybe over time we may reconcile. I don’t want him to stay at his parents’ home for too long, as I don’t want him to get ‘comfortable’ & cause us to end up getting divorced. Please, please pray for us to reconcile, as our marriage isn’t over until God says it is (which is never).