In this You Tube video produced by the Christian Broadcast Network you will see the testimony of a couple that almost let their marriage slip out of their hands. Their sinful priorities nearly destroys their marriage and their ministry.
Kendall and Starla were involved in ministry and were doing great things for God. But in the midst of their busy lives they lost vision for what God wanted to do in their own marriage. As Starla states, “It’s not always bad things that destroy a marriage. Sometimes it’s good things in the wrong priority. And our priorities were all confused—all mixed up.”
Sinful Priorities Destroys Marriages
As the trouble brewed in their relationship Starla started asking Kendall if they could get help for their marriage. Kendall’s answer was always, “No.” He saw no reason to involve a counselor in their marriage problems. Starla asked Kendall repeatedly. However, “Every time it was no. We were pastoring a church, and we’re supposed to know how to get through these problems.” But they didn’t. The problems grew and grew until their problems were all they saw. They grew more and more emotionally separated from each other.
Kendall says, “As I started separating more and more from my wife, just emotionally, it became easier to find praise and affirmation from someone else. I kept thinking, ‘I haven’t done anything wrong yet.’ And so, it’s always easier to take just one more step.” Eventually this led to Kendall being involved in an affair. As Kendall states, “Sin will take you farther than you want to go. It’ll keep you longer than you want to stay. And it’ll cost you more than you want to pay. I found that out to be true more than I realized.”
Eventually, the affair was brought out into the light. That’s when Kendall confessed to Starla what he had done. He repented and began to change his prideful ways. But “the affair caused them to lose their church and their ministry. They stayed together, but the pain remained. And although Kendall repented and got counseling, Starla’s heart was hard.”
Sin Destroys Marriages
They both had to come to grips with the shrapnel affects of this affair. She needed to learn to forgive and he needed to learn how to love her as she needed. But they also deal with the problems that led to their marital destruction. To get to the place of wholeness and healthiness in their marriage there was a lot of rebuilding, confessing, emptying of “self” and pride, forgiveness, and looking to God to lead them that needed to be done. It took many years of doing just that.
But praise God, that even though the enemy of our faith destroys many marriages when couples look away from God, He is able to do “exceedingly, above all we ask or think.” Kendall and Starla went through the fire in their marriage, but they came out better than ever on the other side. Sin destroys but there is still hope with God.
Sin Destroys But God Restores
Their marriage is restored and so is their ministry to others who need the God that healed their marriage. Kendall now remarks, “We’re very open about our failures. We recognize that our scars disqualify us from some people. But they uniquely qualify us for others. And those are the people that I believe God has assigned for us to minister to.”
Starla replies to that, “I know that we would have never experienced the marriage, the love, the happiness, the joy, that we have today if we hadn’t gone through this purifying time.”
We encourage you to prayerfully watch this video and see what God wants to tell you about your own actions within your marriage. Are you disjointed in your relationship going in different directions? Again, sin destroys, but God restores. Remember that fact and lean upon Him to help you in the midst of your problems. Here is a great prayer for Kendall and Starla, and for every marriage: “May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:23)
This is an example of how God wants us to function. Just as God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are separate individuals within the Godhead, they are one in purpose. In marriage the husband and wife are different individuals. And yet they are to be one in purpose. Do what you can to make that your goal in purpose and in action. Look beyond your inabilities to see what God can do to help you.
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