In the last Marriage Message we gave you the first 5 of the Ten Commandments for Husbands and Wives. Elisabeth Elliot wrote these particular Ten Commandments, but we include our own comments afterward, plus scripture. This time we’ll begin by giving just the first 5 we gave last week. (You’ll have to look at Marriage Message #8 to get the comments and scriptures.) Then we’ll share numbers 6-10 with additional scriptures and comments included.
Cindy and I believe that if we, as couples, lived by these ten commandments, our marriages would be a lot stronger and richer. We hope you all gain from them as we have.
TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR MARRIAGE:
1. Respect the Image of God in the Other Person.
2. Remember that God Has Given You a Gift in Your Spouse.
3. Love Always Means Sacrifice.
4. Relinquish Your “Rights.”
5. Let Each Esteem the Other Better Than Him/Herself.
—WEEK TWO – Ten Commandments Continued—
6. Pray For Each Other —Pray With Each Other.
We aren’t only to pray together at meal times.That’s important, but as we pray for and with each other at various times, our relationship grows all the more deeper. We’ve sure found that to be true in our own marriage. God has a way of uniting us all the more as we pray together.
“There’s nothing that makes us love someone as much as prayer for him” (William Law).
Concerning praying for each other, we want you to know about an interesting book we just discovered. It’s titled, The Marriage Prayer by Patrick Morley, published by Moody Publishers. You’re given a 14 Day Marriage Prayer Challenge to pray for your spouse. Here’s what they say about this book:
“Prayer changes things because God answers prayer. Everyone knows couples ought to pray for one another —but many actually do it. Take the 14-Day Marriage Prayer Challenge. Here’s a next step any person could take to build a better marriage. Print out a copy of the Marriage Prayer and pray it for the next 14 days.”
That sounds simplistic, because we know of people who have been praying and crying their hearts out for years, and they have seen little change …YET! We say YET because we’ve seen positive changes in other’s lives —which gives hope. But we also say YET because you never know what God is still going to do.
PUSH in Praying for Your Marriage
It may be that you need to P.U.S.H. —in which you: Pray Until Something Happens. (We have an article on our web site in the “Prayer” section which explains this a bit more.) If that means that you P.U.S.H. for one day, 14 days, or 14 years… we hope you will persevere to do so.
“Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.“ (James 1:2-4)
The prayer in which this book and the web site challenge you to pray is simple, yet profound. Husbands, here is what you would pray:
“Father I said ’til death do us part’ —I want to mean it.
Help me to love you more than her
and more than anyone or anything else.
Help me to bring her into your presence today.
Make us one, like you are three-in-one.
I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her
so she would love you more
and we can bring you glory. Amen.”
Wives, here is what you would pray:
“Father, I said ’til death do us part’ —I want to mean it.
Help me to love you more than him
and more than anyone or anything else.
Help me to bring him into your presence today.
Make us one, like you are three-in-one.
I want to hear him, support him, and serve him
so he would love you more
and we can bring you glory. Amen”
We hope you will take up the challenge (and don’t end it in just 14 days). Pray FOR each other and WITH each other and see what GOD will do.
7. NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
See Ephesians 4:26-27 and Psalm 4:4, where God tells you to do this. We all need reminders not to allow bitterness to take root (see: Hebrews 12:14-15). Hopefully your husband or wife will agree with you to live out this “commandment” for the health of your relationship.
If he/she won’t, ask God to help YOU to do what you can, so bitterness doesn’t take root in your own heart. Keep in mind the saying, “Anytime we reconcile, it’s a picture of what God wants to do with man.”
Love aims at unity (it’s a great goal to TRY to aim for). “Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs“ (1 Corinthians 13:5).
8. WHENEVER YOU’RE WRONG, ADMIT IT. WHENEVER YOU’RE RIGHT, BE QUIET!
Keep in mind:
“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.“ (Proverbs 15:4)
“If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.“ (Proverbs 30:32-33)
“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.“ (Proverbs 27:2)]
9. KEEP SIGHT OF YOUR PLACE IN GOD’S ORDER.
God can work in wonderful ways when we view our role in our marriage as completing each other rather than competing with one another. Again, remember that love “is not self-seeking.“
Read Hebrews 10:24 and then look for ways in which you can encourage and help your spouse “to love and good deeds.“
10. BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR VOW.
Be a promise keeper—not a promise changer or a promise breaker.
I (Cindy) saw an advertisement on television that said, “The rules have changed.” Unfortunately, in marriage, many couples are living as if the rules have changed. But the reality is that God’s rules haven’t. They were the same yesterday. They are the same today, and they will be the same tomorrow as well.
The marriage vow is still to be honored even if our spouse doesn’t keep up with his/her side of the vows. As the Bible tells us, “Let our yes be yes, and our no be no.]
Our prayer for you is that God will speak to your hearts to show you how to love one another “as unto the Lord.” We pray you’ll look for ways to out-serve and bless each other and make God’s ways your ways in how you live out your married lives as a living testimony to the glory of God. May you go the extra mile in keeping these ten commandments, and all of the other scriptures God gives to us through His Word.
Steve and Cindy Wright
— ALSO —
For additional insights into marriage, there is a Crosswalk.com article written by Bayless Conley, which gives a different look at this topic of the ten commandments for marriage. We believe you will greatly benefit from reading it!
And an additional take on the ten commandments, which we have used with other couples, is written by D. James Kennedy:
• TEN COMMITMENTS (Commandments) FOR MARRIAGE
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10 responses to “Ten Commandments for Marriage – MM #9”
(KENYA) "I wish every man and woman would come to realize the best advice and reinforcement of a good marriage by subscribing to this wonderful website" Many thanks indeed for the practical, inspiring and hortatory marriage messages!
(ZIMBABWE) Thanks for the site, i would like to subscribe and receive more.
(USA) Good information – I am researching to write a pamphlet on "Why Marriage". I meet so many people that are not married and living together.
Here are my ten commandments for a successful marriage:
1.) Put God in the middle
3.) Handle your finances wisely
4.) Do what you have to do to keep the romance (fire) lit
7.) Remember why you married your spouse
10.) WALK AS ONE
(KENYA) Dear Cindy and Steve, I am overwhelmed by your marriage messages. Every one I open I see all the wrong turns I have taken in my marriage. I am grateful for this site. May God bless you as He uses you to bless me, my marriage, and many others.
(KENYA) I like your articles very much and use them regularly during our weekly meetings as couples. I like this topic of Ten Commandments for marriage –but the one I came across is for the last 5 (i.e. no: 6 to 10). Could someone send me a link for the 1st five? Thank you.
It’s found in Marriage Message #8, which is found at https://marriagemissions.com/ten-commandment-for-marriage-marriage-message-8/.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Thank you for the site, I would like to subscribe and receive more.
Thank you so much for the information. It has really helped me in my marriage. May the good Lord bless you and may you continue to keep posting more of this kind of information. We love you.
Blessings! Blessings! Blessings for such a generosity in sharing these precious insights on marriage. May you continue to serve the Lord so you can bring healing to broken or sick marriages. I am soo blessed.