Tenacity in Marriage

Keep Going Tenacity in marriage - Pixabay CanvaWords can be cheap. Any fool can make a vow. It takes character, perseverance, and tenacity to keep it. This especially applies to the tenacity that is required in persevering in marriage.

With that thought in mind, below you will find a few quotes to consider as far as being tenacious in following through with what you promised in your wedding vow. They concern going the extra mile in putting in extra effort to make your marriage the best it can be.

Tenacity in Marriage

It’s interesting what Dr Steve Stephens wrote in his book, “Marriage: Experience the Best” on this issue:

“It’s a sad state of affairs when we take better care of our cars and houses than we do our marriages. We change the oil, fill the tank, check the tires, and periodically tune up our cars. We change light bulbs, wash windows, paint walls, unplug toilets, and re-roof our houses. But what do we do to maintain our marriage? The truth is, more damage is done than repairs are made.

“How important is your marriage? Is it more important to you than your car or your house? Are you willing to put in the time and energy and whatever else it takes to prove to your partner how valuable the relationship truly is to you?

“Stop saying your marriage is important. Words are cheap. Rather, prove it! Prove it to your spouse by the effort you put forth. The bottom line is: Do you have the tenacity to make your marriage great?”

Training and Tenacity Required

We train for jobs —do extensive studying, not to mention the great expense of getting an education to get a better job. And yet, most of us would say that our marriages are more important to us than our jobs. So, why won’t/don’t we put even more effort into doing what it takes to be “successful” in our marriages? That will take tenacity.

For those in non-abusive marriages —where you are unhappy and think that you’ll never experience joy in your marriage again, keep the following study in mind. It was featured in Prevention Magazine:

“In studies of 700 miserable, ready-to-split spouses, researchers found that two thirds of those who stayed married were happy five years later. They toughed out some of the most difficult problems a couple could face. What was their strategy? A mix of stubborn commitment, a willingness to work together on issues, and a healthy lowering of expectations.”

Stubborn Commitment

That, which entails “a mix of stubborn commitment,” and “a willingness to work” is also called perseverance. It’s something the Bible tells us is important to develop “so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” We’re also told to “make every effort” to “add to your faith” perseverance in “increasing measure” because if you posses this quality “in increasing measure“, along with other virtues, it “will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We’re also told that perseverance produces “character.” (See: James 1:1-4; 2 Peter 1:5-8; Romans 5:3-4.) There is no doubt that if we apply ourselves and do all we personally can, we will benefit from many ways, even if things don’t go in the direction we think they should so we will be “happy.”

It would be good for us to consider what Paul Tripp wrote in his book What Did You Expect?, as it relates to this.

He wrote:

“There are moments in our marriages when we’re crying out for grace, not recognizing that we’re getting it. We’re not getting the grace of relief or release, because that isn’t the grace we really need. No, what we’re getting is something we desperately need. It’s the uncomfortable grace of personal growth and change.

“With the love of a Father, your Lord is prying open your hands. This is so you will let go of that, which rules your heart but will never satisfy you. With the insight of a seasoned teacher, He is driving you to question your own wisdom so that you will let go of your understanding and rest in His. Plus, with the skill of the world’s best counselor, God is showing you the delusions of your control so that you will take comfort in His rule. With the gentleness of a faithful friend He is facing you toward the inadequacies of your own righteousness so that you find hope in His.

“When you are tired and uncomfortable because you are living with someone who is not like you, what you tell yourself about what you are going through is very important. It is in this moment that you must preach to yourself the theology of uncomfortable grace. (See Romans 5; James 1; and 1 Peter 1.) Because when you do, you begin to be less resistant and more appreciative. And you are on your way to forging a marriage of unity, understanding, and love.”

May you:

Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun —all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…(Ecclesiastes 9:9-10)

This especially applies to marriage —a living picture of Christ’s love for His bride —the church. Concerning marriage:

May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.(2 Thessalonians 3:5)

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.(Philippians 1:9-11)

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.

Print Post

Filed under: Marriage Blog

Join the Discussion

Please observe the following guidelines:

  • Try to be as positive as possible when you make a comment.
  • If there is name-calling, or profane language, it will be deleted.
  • The same goes with hurtful comments targeted at belittling others; we won't post them.
  • Recommendations for people to divorce will be edited out–that's a decision between them and God, not us.
  • If you have a criticism, please make it constructive.
  • Be mindful that this is an international ministry where cultural differences need to be considered.
  • Please honor the fact this is a Christ-centered web site.

We review all comments before posting them to reduce spam and offensive content.


7 responses to “Tenacity in Marriage

  1. (UNITED STATES) You called out many of my favorite verses in this! I go back to James 1 and Ecclesiastes often when I start to feel lost. Great post… tenacity IS so important -the unwillingness to fail, the refusal to even see failure as an option! Keep up the good fight!

  2. (UNITED STATES) I love the comparison to applying for a job. I have been painstakingly working on my resume, perfecting it, applying for jobs non-stop, interviewing, the whole nine yards for months now. With tenacity. It is a very practical way for me to look at my marriage RIGHT NOW, since I completely understand the analogy! Thanks!

  3. (USA) Words that need to said and heard everywhere in a society that is ready to bail out at the first sign of discomfort. Thanks for the Biblical references, and the reminder that our vows need to become actions regardless ‘the curveballs’ that are thrown to us in life. Thanks for a great article!

  4. (USA) This post is so necessary. Amazing how it is so easy to take marriage for granted, only to let years roll by and then discover that the marriage is in horrible disrepair.

    I am so grateful that my husband and I are intentional about nurturing our relationship. It’s not always easy because like everyone else, we have a lot of demands on our time. But the benefits of a nurtured relationship simply cannot be measured… they are that profound.

    Thanks again for the post!