There are so many dangers and disappointments connected with the use of pornography. It’s both disturbing and even frightening! Nothing like starting out an article sounding off an alarm, but it’s true!
Pornography (“pictures intended to arouse sexual desires”) and now Cybersex (“sexual arousal involving communication on the internet”) are dangers that we face in today’s world. They can appear to be innocent and victimless, but the opposite is true.
Called a “closet addiction” viewing pornography and participating in Cybersex can seem like “harmless fun.” They’re often referred to as forms of “release from stress” —yet they’re anything BUT harmless. They may be temporarily exciting and release something within a person, but getting involved with this fantasy world eventually heaps additional stress onto real life and relationships.
Pornography Causes Damage?
“Who says ‘Pornography doesn’t hurt anyone?’ Porn damages the viewer. Proverbs 6:27 says: ‘Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?‘ The implied answer is ‘No.’ Lusting after people with our eyes and thoughts is equivalent to committing the sin with them (see: Matthew 5:28). Porn trains us to practice lust and live in a fantasy world. As a result, we burn with a lust that drives us to seek gratification. The memories resulting from our porn activities can last a lifetime and damage our ability to enjoy sex in our marriage.
“Pornography also can lead us down the destructive path of perversion, and damages the viewer’s family. For example, your children could be tormented by any evil spirits that are tormenting you, or they may simply get hooked on porn when they stumble across your porn stash of computer files or magazines. Your spouse could be devastated if he/she discovers you’ve been committing “mental adultery” through porn. He/she may have difficulty ever trusting you again when they discover your secret life.
“It could take years for you to re-learn how to love your spouse and eliminate the stranglehold lust has on you. You may have to relearn how to have sex in a loving way, since you have become tuned for lust through porn.” (From the web site at Porn-free.org)
Not Victimless Past Time
So, viewing pornography and participating in cybersex is not a victimless past time. A person may find it to be temporarily satisfying and fun. But that “fun” comes at what cost? No one person is an island in this world. Other innocent people become involved in this as well, at their detriment.
Let’s face it, substituting fantasy can temporarily be funner than investing in and working through problems that arise in real relationships. That’s a given! But that’s only for a season, and the damage it causes for it’s fleeting pleasures can last a lifetime.
Eventually the real world demands the need to be faced. Reality comes back with a vengeance and real consequences occur. Some of them are broken relationships, and harmful reoccurring memories. Others are money spent, lost jobs and opportunities, etc… just as with any addiction. And porn and cybersex CAN be addictive! It’s a type of fantasy world to the highest level!
The tragic thing is that most people who get caught up into pornography don’t realize how addictive it can become. Just like those who smoke, do drugs, or become alcoholics, there is a pull. It’s a drawing in power that causes people to keep going back for more, dismissing the dangers.
But Not Me!
And let’s face it, which addict ever thought that they would be the one who would get addicted to that which they were “playing” with? It potentially can happen to any one who gets involved. “Pride” or thinking something could never happen to us comes before a fall. Or it could be “disgrace” as the Bible says in Proverbs 11:2.
It’s important to be careful in our actions as well as our judgments of others. We could become a potential victim of the harm that pornography and cybersex can cause.
“Pornography, a closet addiction, grabs you when you’re weak and holds you in its clutches. Just one more time, the lie draws you in. One more look, you click your way around the sticky Web. Lost in a fantasy world, porn becomes your focus and your drive. Denying the impact of addiction only covers the pain you are causing to yourself and others.” (Quote found on Growthtrac.com in their Pornography in Marriage section)
It’s Difficult to Escape
If pornography and particularly cybersex wasn’t so accessible, it could be easier to escape, but it isn’t:
“We often hear the expression, ‘surfing the Web.’ But a better metaphor may be ‘walking on the beach’ because your footprints follow you wherever you go. All browsers, Netscape, Internet Explorer, AOL, are equipped with a cache —a temporary file that saves a copy of any HTML pages, images or files that you access for quick downloading later.” (From the article “The Dangers and Disappointments of Pornography” formerly posted on Pureintimacy.org)
There’s one of the catches in all of this. There is a snare that grabs those who give the enemy of our faith any type of foothold. Temptation is more than accessible and willing to grab us at any moment!
For this reason, it’s important to pay attention to the Bible where it says,
“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering.“ (1 Peter 5:8-9)
Whether it is you, or someone else you are helping, trying to escape the web of pornography and cybersex, here are additional warnings the Bible gives:
“If someone is caught in sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.“ (Galatians 6:1-2)
In Light of All of This:
I want to refer you to some linked articles written by those who have a lot of experience in teaching and helping people with this issue.
We’d like you to start out by reading the following that we have posted on our Marriage Missions International web site because we believe it will give you a good overview:
And then we’d like to direct you to two different web sites, put together by the ministry of Focus on the Family, which have a variety of articles posted that could answer a host of questions you may have:
— ALSO —
You may also find the following Growthtrac.com articles to be helpful. Please click into the web site links below to read:
And found on this web site:
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Pornography and Cybersex