Not surprisingly, the workplace gives people the opportunity where romance has the chance to bud and eventually bloom. When you’re together in an environment where you’re together so many hours with people of the opposite sex, things can happen. And that can be an okay thing if both of you are single. But if one or both of you are married —THAT’S a problem.
As therapist and marriage expert, Shirley Glass explains,
“Today’s workplace is the most fertile breeding ground for affairs. The observed increase in women’s infidelity is because more women are in the workplace and more women are in professions that were previously dominated by men.”
As a matter of fact:
“Shirley Glass discovered in her practice that 50 percent of the unfaithful women and about 62 percent of unfaithful men she treated were involved with someone from work.“Men and women who work closely together under stressful conditions can quickly become attracted to one another. They often share interests over coffee or lunch getting to know one another. One researcher calls this new kind of affair the ‘cup of coffee’ syndrome.
“Men and women begin with safe marriages at home and friendships at work. As they regularly meet for these breaks, relationships develop into deep friendships. Coworkers come to depend on these coffee trysts. Soon they have emotional work friendships and crumbling marriages.
“Longer work hours also contribute —especially when companies promote ‘team work,’ encouraging close working relationships between team members. This makes for a romantically conducive environment.” (Jillian Dearing, from the article, Workplace Romance)
The workplace is becoming all the more the spot for infidelity to take place. People’s standards are being lowered even more than years ago (or at least we’re hearing more about it). They are giving themselves permission to do things that are wrong, all in the name of “love.”
To explain this further and give additional insights, there is an article posted on the web site for Focus on the Family that we would recommend you read. If you have comments that would be helpful to others, please arrow back to our web site, and make them on the space provided below.
To read the article, click on the link provided below:
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Emotional & Physical Affair
(USA) I am married to a very charismatic, fun-loving, handsome, man. He is upper management in a construction company. I will say that the workplace is a concern for our marriage as he is very friendly to the attractive women and goes out of his way to help them. They in turn, flirt, send emails asking to stop over to his office, and at a work party (no wives invited). One tried to offer "anything he wanted" he said she was drunk and he drew the line and said no. MY concern is why was he hanging out with her in the first place? He is in his 40’s and the women are mostly in the late 20’s or early 30’s. I am concerned about this and do not know what to do.
(SOUTH AFRICA) My husband has had two affairs in the last three years, both being women from the office. He seems to connect with other woman "in distress" and gets emotionally involved as a listening partner which leads to romance. I, as a result, have such a problem with believing him if he comes home late or has to "work overtime" on a Sunday etc etc. This has caused such problems in our marriage and as a result he has moved out and says he needs to be alone to think.
He has been gone for six weeks now and says he will re-consider if he still wants in this marriage after six months. Where does this leave me? What should I do? I still love him but as the days go by I feel the "love flame" slowly going out. Should I intervene?
(SOUTH AFRICA) Dear Linda, I fully understand your concerns regarding romance in the workplace. I have watched with concern, members of our staff attending office functions and having too much to drink. This always leads to flirting and inevitably in most cases they end up "leaving together" and romance or just a one night stand is in the air.
Why do wives not get invited to these office functions? If management would only open their eyes and see the damage caused to the staff and their families (and ultimately to the company) they would think twice.
Linda, I think you should voice your concerns to your husband and insist that he only just pops in for a few minutes to these office functions. Hopefully this will eliminate any possibility of temptation should it come his way. Should he want to stay longer he must make sure that he picks you up so that you can join in. I am sure the company would not mind.
(USA) My wife and I were having problems as all of us do and we were at one of those low points in the marriage and I was forced to quit my job. I still worked but was not bringing in the money I was with the job I had previously. Also I had an on off drug problem but nothing illegal, prescription drugs and I drank beer mostly but eventually quit.
Anyway, I did some stupid things but nothing to deserve an affair. My wife was discouraged and tired of the same old stuff and me, and got too close to someone she works with. Although I never actually caught them in person, I found phone receipts with his # a million times on them, she started buying sexy clothes and underwear and other weird perverted habits, and the whole time she had cut me off.
I started finding all kinds of things and she was never like this before until she gave into temptation with this creep. They are still doing something from time to time and she still works with this guy. She also, I believe, was going through menopause and that did not help. Plus all the lying and denying and deception.
We’ve had no counseling really and we have prayed together. So far we are still together but after 30 years it’s hard to know what to do. This started happening in 1998, 1999 or there about. She says she wants to work it out between us and denies most of it because she doesn’t want me blabbing to her boss and the guy’s wife. She must be really naive or clueless or just doesn’t know or care.
We have been trying to work it out. I did catch her in a hotel by phone just on a whim one day. She laid low for a while but I believe they just took it further underground. I have talked to so many people, Christian and others, and am trying to stick it out the best I can. I pray constantly and have others praying for me. Please help with prayers for me, if you can. God bless all, Charles.
Hi Charles, I just started reading articles from marriage mission few months ago. I can see that you posted this message in 2009. I’m just asking if the situation is still the same or has God intervene to help you get you love back. Best Regards, Simeon.
(USA) I came upon this website looking for something to ease hurt, give me strength and guide me. I have read several articles and comments and felt perhaps I can get help here. Please do not think badly of me, however, I will confess I just recently ended a relationship with a married man… and I too am married. He was someone I worked with for a few years, I never really looked twice at him until one day he asked me to lunch. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary as I went to lunch with people everyday. We talked about our families, shared stories and pictures of our spouse and children. He started to send emails with jokes and asked me to lunch on a weekly bases. When he made a special trip to take me to lunch on my birthday he kissed me. That was how it all started.
We both had agreed that we were very happy with our lives, our marriages, we loved our children and wanted in no way to put any of that in harms way. However, the pull towards each other was overwhelming. We were so attracted to each other, had such a connection we chose to be together. I had this affair for 4 years. We never told the other that we were in love, but passion always stressed what we did not actually say.
Guilt was getting to me, I had gone into a depression so badly I went onto medication. I left my job thinking that would remove me from the situation without having to end it in person. However we continued. I always gave in when he called. I finally gained the strength to end it. I wrote a good-bye letter and stated that what we were doing was wrong and was not fair to his wife, my husband our children or even each other. I asked to not be contacted again and promised that I would not contact him.
I know I did the right thing…however, the grief, heartbreak, loss and over all sadness I feel right now is so painful. I feel as if I lost not only my lover but my best friend. Even that thought bothers me. I remember there was a point in time that my husband was my wonderful lover and my best friend I want him to be again! I do still very much love him and I know that is my husband’s place in my life and heart. I had often wondered why I had this other relationship. I thought there was nothing wrong with my marriage. I find myself in prayer constantly, begging God to please help me, please forgive me Father, wash away my sins. But can I forgive myself?!
(USA) Hi Faye. Like all other temptations and hard-to-break habits you are going through a phase of transition from wrong to right. It’s great that no matter how strongly you feel about the adulterous relationship you are fighting against it.
Adultery is wrong and it’s time to stop believing the enemy’s lie that there are greener pastures out there. We are made to believe that the ones we are not married to are the better ones. This stops us from working on our legitimate relationships and increase the strain. Most people who remarry for the wrong reasons realise that all marriages are exciting in the first phase and become more ordinary with time (and there is nothing wrong with that). I think it’s good to embrace our relationships at all stages and get the best of each moment in time.
I am in a battle against my anger and I try hard to restrain myself when I’m tempted. The Bible says resist evil and it will flee from you. So your pain will gradually go away since you have chosen God’s way in the battle. It takes practice and it gets better and better as you meditate on the Word of God, embracing the real truth. Just remember that our “realities” are not what they seem because our battles are not against flesh and blood but evil spirits awaiting their end.
Congratulations on putting more value on the marriage that God put together. Keep the good fight of faith and remember many marriages are under different kinds of aggresive battles. It’s up to us as Christians to keep doing the will of God and remember he is watching our every thought, word and action.
(CANADA) I know how you feel, I am married and he’s not. 3 years of almost similar experience. I kept on asking God why he does not remove that person from me. Why God allows him to pursue me in spite me not wanting to pursue anything with him? He pursued me for 2 years and then I gave in. I thought that I’m a Christian woman, that such things only happen to ungodly women… well never say never, that tested my faith and I failled. I’m also recovering, luckily there is no contact anymore. How do I cope?
I understand that I cannot control the situation. That situation is beyond my emotional strength and it weights over me and I grieve. I schedule to grieve. I say to myself that I’d take a walk at specific times and grieve. I give myself appointments.
Second I decided to try new small things where I can have control. Small online course, cooking class, hobby. I decided to do things that give me emotional happyness and pleasure, things i wanted to do before i met him.
Finally, I decided to increase my circle of friends. It’s a new life now, life without him (sigh), and i need new faces. I meet new faces when I pursue my new hobbies. It does make you feel as if you entered a new life.
It is not a recipe for healing, but more of a band aid, but it helps me so far. I pray that God comforts you the way he comforts me. There is a very good booklet on RBC Ministries that helped me a lot, called Dangerous Desisions. It talks about Lot and Achan. I hope it helps. http://www.rbc.org/bible-study/discovery-series/bookletDetail.aspx?id=60274&Topic=1004
(SOUTH AFRICA) My husband has shared with me that there’s a lady at work that he’s been innocently flirting with for a few weeks now, (she is single), and now she’s making advances on him. When he woke up this morning and after he was praying, he confessed that he was thinking about her a lot of lately. He asked for my help. How can I help him which scriptures? Can you suggest something and what should I do or how should I react as his wife? I love him very much and I do not want to be the pushing him toward this woman.
(USA) Hi Nobe, I am glad that your husband has an honest relationship with you. Thank God for that because you can do something before things get out of hand. I have a few verses that came to my mind. You are right. In problems like this one, nothing can really help except God’s word and prayer. It’s good that both of you fear & trust the Lord enough to seek his divine counsel. Keep that up in everything you do. See: Job 31:1; Job 31:11; Proverbs 2:16-19; Proverbs 5; and Proverbs 7.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I just discovered that my husband has an affair with the lady he works with. There is a tendency for people to have affairs with their colleagues. What I fail to understand is that my husband is a born again Christian. I can’t figure it out is, when did he backslide and walk into this sin? The affair has been going on for over a year now. He keeps on telling me that he loves me. My question is how can you love me and go and have an affair? We are attending marriage counselling and we’ve separated. We’ve been married for 8 years and have a 6 year old daughter and a 20 month old son.
To make things worse I have discovered that 2 other ladies have separated with their husbands because their husbands have had affairs with the ladies they work with and these men are my husband’s colleagues. I was thinking of writing to the human resource department of the company and complaining about this. Is it right to do that? Regards, Dudu
(UGANDA) Like all have said, it takes prayer and intergrity of the highest order to fight such battles in a work place. As much as possible for the married invest time in your marriage, let work have limits, parties also should have limits, i dont see why an organisation refuses people to bring there companions for such functions. JULIUS
(ZIMBABWE) I think men’s infidelity in work places is too high especially these days. However ladies, we need to pray so that when we make decisions they are God guided. However, I would like to ask a question: is a woman pleasing a man by performing oral sex on him and a man pleasing a woman by having oral sex with her allowed in a Christian enviroment?
(USA) Hi Precius, You pose a good question — one that you’ll find an answer to in the “Sexual Issues” section. There, you will find a couple of different articles that address oral sex. The biggest issue is making sure that the man and woman you are talking about are married to each other and they are both in agreement that this is a manner in which they want to express their love to each other. But the articles will explain more, as you read them and pray about what God is leading in this marital situation.
(BOTSWANA) Workplace romances are indeed heart breaking and a serious threat to marriage. My experience is a painful one, my husband of seven years (been with him for fifteen years) has had an affair with a married coworker who is also our neighbor. Theirs has been on for over five years and the man still lies about it. They have gone on work trips together outside the country and each time I got to know about it. The other day he told me he was attending a funeral in the countryside during the weekend. I met them together, she wearing my husband’s t-shirt and to date there is no explanation.
Since the woman is our neighbour, I see her everyday and it makes me cry all the time. Its been a year since I caught them together but the frustration and bitterness are just overwhelming. I have prayed about it and strongly want a separation to ease this pain. We have three children and the teenage daughter remains bitter since she was with me when meeting the dad with the other woman.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I have been married for seven years now. I have two kids with my husband and I am seven months pregnant. My husband has been having an affair at work since from last year. At first he was denying it, until i found out when the girlfriend was calling him even at night and weekends. I called the lady. I told her to stay away from my husband, and she told me straight that we both share him.
My husband told me that he is no longer in love with the lady. I don’t know what to do because I don’t trust him anymore. Sometimes he will say that he is working late. Please help; I am afraid that my marriage is falling apart!
(USA) I found out that my wife of 26 years was having an affair with a co worker just before Thanksgiving. They were friends at work and were texting and on the phone both during work hours and after. I met my wifes’s lover many times at her workplace and never thought she would risk both our marriage and future.
My daughter found texts between my wife and said let’s call him (H) one night when she needed to use her cell phone. My wife first denied and after a big scene with my daughter she finally admitted to the affair. She said it was over and she had been feeling guilty and remorseful for a while and would have told me about it if given the chance. We had been having trouble with my son for about 5 years with drugs and stealing, and she turned to H as a friend to talk to. She said she resented that I could not control our son and resented his stealing etc.
The friendship turned into an affair which she says she is remorseful for, and never wanted to hurt anyone. H, she says, pressured her and she felt as if she had to please him so they had sex only a few times. Each time she said she felt cheapened and used. She told me that she would not have told me if I had not found out and would have stayed at her job where she thought she and H could still be friends.
Once I found out I went to her place of work and told of her affair and she felt compelled to quit. We have two children and are trying to save our marriage, but my wife says that she made a mistake and it should not have cost her her job. I told her I couldn’t allow her to continue to work around H and still remain sane enough to rebuild our marriage. She seems to be more hurt over her job loss and the embarrassment that having the affair. H still works at his old job and has not quit or been fired, and that bothers me a lot. What do I do and how can I get through this? My wife still seems to blame me for driving her into H’s arms and for her embarrassment and job loss. I am going to couseling and I hope she starts soon.
(USA) Dear Richard, It was very sad to hear what happened to you. I am a victim of something simillar. I caught my wife cheating on me for over a month. I caught very sexually graphic text messages from her boss on her mobile and the responses she had sent back to him. I noticed a few weeks ago that her attitude to go to work suddenly changed. She wanted to look extra pretty, sprayed a lot of perfume on her. At home she was very often checking her mobile.
A few weeks before I caught her, I’ve noticed that her sexual desire completely changed and she always wanted to have sex with me as soon as she got back from work. When I caught the text messages, at first, I asked her to confess if something secret was going on between her and her boss. She completly denied it. Then when I told her that I found the evidence on her mobile she started to talk about it. She told me it all started as a very innocent thing. This man was first giving her compliments on how pretty she looked every day and my wife felt it was flattering. He was then admiring her job and how well she does it and told her that he is planning to give promotions and etc.
Over a short time these complimentary emails and text messages then turned into an office time secret flirt. After some time he had told her that he’d love to have sex with her. My wife had told him that’s something that would not happen as she loves her husband. Recently he had sent messages on how he wants to undress her and have sex with her in his office. Her replies back to him gives me the meaning that she was feeling turned on too. She was telling me that it meant nothing to her but was pushing the boundary a little.
My problem is that she continued to flirt with this man and turn them both on. Although she denies this, I see a more hidden meaning behind this that could have carried a lot further, even into a bedroom. She told me it all started as a joke and she didn’t see anything serious about it. At the start as she knew nothing was going to happen between them. I honestly, I don’t know whether anything could have happened between them. I think if things continued then they could have started a sexual relationship.
We have been married for 7 years now, bought our first house together and wanted to have a baby soon. I was nothing but a perfect husband to her. This incident completly ruined my life and destroyed my trust. I told her that if she wants to work in the same company then her boss has to quit his job or else she has to quit her job or else I am leaving her and she has to pick what’s best for her and her future. She wants to live with me but is so worried about losing the job because it’s going to destroy her career and with the current job crisis, she will struggle.
She still tells me how much she loves me and knows how wrong it was what she did. I love her to pieces, but I worry if I will ever trust her again. It’s so painful to know that the person I love so dearly was cheating behind my back. These text messages and emails still haunt me every time when I close my eyes. I want to rebuild everything we lost and give her a second chance. The future is going to be a hard road and only time will tell what’s going to happen. I’d like to go to counseling with her, hoping it will help her to understand and correct the mistakes.
Please let me know how you’re doing. Life is more filled with sad things than happy. Be strong.
(USA) CHEATING WIFE WITH COWORKER Hi John, Wow. I am a 45 year old husband going through almost the same exact scenario you described.
My wife of 11 years was going through some tough times with her aging mother, who is in a nursing home since December of last year. I was helping out as best I could, but noticed over the last few months that she was really pulling away from me – cutting me down, baiting me into arguments, trying to get me to go onto Lexapro to make me more compliant, buying underwear from Victoria Secret, enjoying the new smartphone I gave her, always checking up on where I was, calling to see where I would be for the day, having me pick up my daughter from day care at the end of the day more and more, tore off the dialed cellphone numbers off the bill starting 5 months ago, etc. (these are called CLUES guys!!!!)
Well, one day, my wife called me near the end of work to yell at me again for not leaving work on time into picking up our 8 year old daughter. A few minutes later, she accidentally “dialed” my office phone with her cell phone and left a very interesting voicemail of her in a vehicle with a manager she works with. It was a conversation that I immediately recognized to be very personal, and probably activated during a heavy grope session at the train station where she commutes from.
Well, I recognized the guy’s voice immediately, since we all work probably within 50 feet of each other on the same floor of the same office! My wife panicked and kept calling me all day to see if I had heard the message and to delete it if I got it. Of course I listened to it and was devastated …and kept it. I did not tell her anything for a day, did not tell her I heard it, but called my brother who keep me cool. I knew there had to be more, so I tried to get her cell phone, but she slept with it next to her in bed (a clue guys!!!). I got it the following day and found a Gmail account. She had deleted most of the texts and emails but left a few in the trash that I retreived, things like XOXOX, Luv u girl, and really graphic things this guy wanted to do to her the next morning. I also read a gmail from the week prior to her getting caught, describing to this guy that she just created a new GMail without her name in it so it would be “less identifiable.” From whom I wonder? Also texts from him on how to explain away the accidental grope session.
Well, I went to work. I went online and retreived the cellphone call history from Sprint and highlighted all the calls…I had a sea of yellow ink for 5 months of thousands of calls at all hours of the day and night. I got some cellphone software to retreive SMS texts, but was not successful with HTC EVO. To make matters worse, I am a navy reserve officer, so I am gone one weekend a month and was out of the country for 3 weeks. My kid was in school, my wife was off every Friday, and telecommuted from home every Monday. Obviously, this was painting a pretty hosed mental picture in my mind of what was happening behind my back.
Well, I took all that evidence, and went straight to the General Manager and told him what was going on and what he was going to do about one of his high paid managers diddling my wife on company time. In so many words, “nothing” because there was no policy that covered it and she wasn’t in his chain of command. I then tracked the guy’s wife of 30 years on my own time using Google, and got her cell number and told her what was happening. It made sense to her because her marriage with the scumbag was falling apart and despite all the counseling, she could not figure out why.
I then forwarded all my wife’s lover emails back to her using my company email, with my Navy-style commentary – which was the most graphic profane description of her that people investigating my improper use of company email have ever seen (something on the order of the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket). No threats, just my descriptions of what type of woman I felt she was and what she was doing to her daughter and I. Of course I would be punished, but she more so, since you can’t keep that a secret in a company this size…its called “the daily walk of shame.”
So, here I am man – at the fork in the road..and which path do I take. The one of forgiveness, let’s try to salvage this with acknowledgement I wasn’t fulfilling her needs at some level? Or…bail out brother and let this dive bomber flame in without me at the controls and a whole new life in front of me?
Well, she did the same dance as your wife John – she said she loved me, she did not love him, they had kissed/hugged but no sex, etc, etc. But she was pushing the boundary, acknowledged that she felt like high school and excited. I also heard her on the eve of her getting caught, pleasuring herself (which she still denies) in our bed with the TV on when she thought I had fallen asleep…so there was a definite element of sexual excitement in this affair, no doubt.
I told her I might forgive, but definitely won’t forget. I also told her that Murphy always wins when you are spending that much time with someone and trying to hide it…sooner or later you will get caught, no matter how many precautions you take. It will be a car accident, a parking ticket in front of the guys house, a friend seeing you making out, a cell phone bill, a used condom on the floormat of the car, etc. I am in the drivers seat on this ride my friend. She can either play by my new rules, or hit the road so I can trade her in for a younger and more appreciate woman. Finally, I told her she worote me in as the hero in this story for future females….I am the faithful husband and devoted father, she is the office tramp. Wonder which story sounds better to my kid and to a new relationship. This is female fodder of the highest caliber and sympathy rating if I wanted to cash it in…and she knows it. There is a silver lining in this cloud. LOL
Good Luck Guys!
(UGANDA) I think the enemy has taken advantage of excuses Pastors give about men when they are talking to those who are married. In many meetings I have attended, the Pastors warn women that you know, men are men and are weak. This kind of cushioning them leads those whose will to fight sin in their lives and are weak to console themselves and say after-all we are weak. I have also seen that in cases where couples have such a problem, the blame goes to the woman. I think sin is sin whether we are weak or strong. We all need to get serious about how we walk with God because on the last day of judgement, God will judge the weak and the strong sex the same way.
(U.S.A.) Agnes, I couldn’t agree more! We all have to fight sin on some level. Justifying it and calling it a “weakness” and excusing it as “men are men” or “women are women” is just blame-shifting, such as Adam did in the Garden of Eden when he got caught sinning with his wife. He blamed “the woman you gave me” instead of owning up to it. Women blame-shift in other ways. After-all, women are having sex with the men, and some of the men and women are married to others and yet they rationalize it. Sometimes it’s blame-shifting or rationalizing having sex outside of marriage, other times it’s being too loose with what we say and how we attack each other verbally and physically. How good we are at looking at ourselves with gentler eyes and rationalizing our behavior as being justified or OK, for some reason.
How I wish we had more Pastors would preach about “tending to your own vineyard” and “drinking from your own cistern” as the Bible talks about. Men and women may be restless in their marriages for different reasons, but God did not promise us lives without problems. Life is troublesome — the enemy of our faith makes sure of that. But God expects us to give our all, as Christ did for His bride. He is our example (as we’re told in Philippians 2:1-11). I don’t notice Jesus blame-shifting, even when he was falsely accused.
We need godly examples of men and women being faithful to the end of their lives as examples to the next generation and to those who witness how we live our lives that just as Jesus paved the way for us, we can be faithful to the end, as well. May we and Pastors and everyone that has breath proclaim this message to our fellow believers. Don’t entertain the enemy of our faith by focusing on indulging and giving into our weaknesses, but rather focusing on and holding tight onto the strength we can have through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
Thanks Agnes, for being one who is poking holes in the darkness. Keep proclaiming and living His Truth!
(NAMIBIA) Hi there. Faye, thanks for sharing your battle, I also came upon this website, because I’m crying for help and needing some. I too am married (11 years with 2 kids) and have recently (5 months now), started an adulterous relationship with another married man (12 years with 2 kids).
I am a very sincere Christian, and was at the verge of my minstry to be born in Christ when it all started. I was on a fast when it started, that’s why I couldn’t understand, God, why, and how???
I shared the truth with my mentor. He prayed for me and took me thru deliverance etc, and I stopped the relationship 2 times, but the pull was so strong, that the 3rd time, we agreed to give it a go, and I’m right now in it and enjoying it. He’s also a colleague, but luckily we are in different countries, so this is just over the phone and e-mail chats etc, but the emotional satisfaction I get is what’s making me feel rewarded and needed and wanted. I’m married to a man who is like a concrete block; he just doesn’t communicate, and this man’s attention made me give in.
But as much as I’m enjoying it, I love Jesus too much and am looking for help out of this situation, that’s why I came across this website, as this man is planning to come and see me. It’s not about the sex for me; I don’t want it to go to that level.
I intent to stop this relationship today or tomorrow. He said it’s both our decisions. I can’t decide alone etc, but I love Jesus, I also don’t choose my husband above him or anything as I feel like my husband himself doesn’t deserve it. But I fear GOD, I fear going to hell fire, and I TRULY LOVE JESUS. I can’t deny what Jesus did to me all my life, I can’t deny JESUS’ existance and presence in my life, So I choose Jesus.
Please pray for me that this soul tie be broken between me and this man. Like FAYE said, the other two times, I felt grieved and sad like losing my best friend and soul mate, but wrong is wrong, and this is leading me no where but straight to hell, and I can’t lose my heavenly destination because of this.
Everyone is telling me that I should die to myself. I want to follow Christ, but how do I die to myself if I became aware of a passion in me that I thought I didn’t have?
(USA) You die to yourself simply by doing what Christ wants, not what you want. If you love the Lord you will obey his word. Don’t lose your relationship with Jesus, family and friends over this crush. Take all that passion to your husband; let him be your best friend. Cut ties with this other man, then take up your cross!
(USA) My question is with being intimate. My wife and I have been married for seven years now and I am not sure what kind of love relationship we have together. Before we were married she would have no issues with hugging, kissing and sex. Sex could even be two days in the same week. But since being married, she makes all types of excuses every time I try to be intimate with her.
She would sometimes tell me she is tired or sleepy and when she is up very late (until) 4am, she would not sure there is no time for us. I think being intimate is necessary for fulfillment to each other in a heathly relationship. She only likes it if I hold her when we are sleeping. She also doesn’t ever remember important dates to us such as wedding day, etc. She seems more interested with other things in her life like her childhood friends. What do you think of my situation and can this relationship continue like this?