Not surprisingly, the workplace gives people the opportunity where romance has the chance to bud and eventually bloom. When you’re together in an environment where you’re together so many hours with people of the opposite sex, things can happen. And that can be an okay thing if both of you are single. But if one or both of you are married —THAT’S a problem.
As therapist and marriage expert, Shirley Glass explains,
“Today’s workplace is the most fertile breeding ground for affairs. The observed increase in women’s infidelity is because more women are in the workplace and more women are in professions that were previously dominated by men.”
As a matter of fact:
“Shirley Glass discovered in her practice that 50 percent of the unfaithful women and about 62 percent of unfaithful men she treated were involved with someone from work.
“Men and women who work closely together under stressful conditions can quickly become attracted to one another. They often share interests over coffee or lunch getting to know one another. One researcher calls this new kind of affair the ‘cup of coffee’ syndrome.
“Men and women begin with safe marriages at home and friendships at work. As they regularly meet for these breaks, relationships develop into deep friendships. Coworkers come to depend on these coffee trysts. Soon they have emotional work friendships and crumbling marriages.
“Longer work hours also contribute —especially when companies promote ‘team work,’ encouraging close working relationships between team members. This makes for a romantically conducive environment.” (Jillian Dearing, from the article, Workplace Romance)
The workplace is becoming all the more the spot for infidelity to take place. People’s standards are being lowered even more than years ago (or at least we’re hearing more about it). They are giving themselves permission to do things that are wrong, all in the name of “love.”
To explain this further and give additional insights, there is an article posted on the web site for Focus on the Family that we would recommend you read. If you have comments that would be helpful to others, please arrow back to our web site, and make them on the space provided below.
To read the article, click on the link provided below:
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Emotional & Physical Affair
31 responses to “The Workplace Romance: The New Infidelity”
(SOUTH AFRICA) The best, and I think only possible way, to avoid any kind of affair (office or not) is the following what I had learned through my mistake and the Grace of GOD. Although I did not have an affair but because of my friendship with the “other” woman it was bound to happen. Then I realised if I can’t tell my spouse about my friendship with this lady… then this friendship is wrong. If I dont feel comfortable to talk to her when I am at home with my spouse then I have nothing to say to her when I am alone.
As a man I know we have a lot of “reasons” (which I now call excuses) for why we started to have an affair. But I believe there is no good enough “reason” (EXCUSE) to have an affair. If she doesn’t understand you… pray about it. If she doesn’t understand your sexual needs talk to her or a counselor. She always nags… have you sit down and listened what is she nagging about? Maybe, just maybe, it’s because you are not doing what you promised to do. In closing… If your relationship is right with your Heavenly Groom… your relationship with your earthly bride will be blessed.
You are a wise man, Eugene. It’s not just what you’ve lived through that’s important, but what you’ve “learned through.” You have obviously “learned through” many things –listening to and following what the Lord has been and is teaching you. Thank you for sharing this tough advice.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Thank you Cindy. It is all by the grace of GOD.
(USA) My wife gave up her old job to save this marriage. Too many secrets and lies about who she affiliated with during lunch hour and also several male co-workers would call her during lunch and after working hours and would deny it to me and also delete the numbers.
Now in her new job the same pattern is starting. But this time no one calls her after hours. Instead she always goes out with the opposite sex and even times when I call she does not answer and even lies about who she is with. She always mentions that she is going out with her boss and 2 other male co workers but I never hear her boss when I call. Instead I only hear a guy in the background.
She took me to a work party once but the funny thing was that all the male co workers she always mentions that she goes out to lunch with did not even try to spark up a conversation with us. Instead she introduced me to someone she never mentioned to me and he introduced his wife, as well. But he spoke to my wife like they’ve known each other for a long time. I asked her about him and she replies that she hardly talks to him but that night they were talking and he was extreamly friendly towards me, unlike the male co-workers.
I know she is having an emotional affair with him at work. Feedback anyone. She denies it and smirks when I asked her, but I have a feeling she does.
(USA) The devil came into my marriage. My husband was cheating with a woman he worked with. We have been married for 7 years and together for almost 9. How do I move past the pain? I love the Lord and I know how he feels about marriage and divorce. I have never cheated on him. My husband says it’s over and he has asked God for forgiveness and he signed us up for marriage counseling.
I’m trying not to walk out. I feel so hurt and I don’t trust him even though he’s asked God for forgiveness and he’s seeking guidance from our local pastor. I need help! I know God forgave us for all our sins and I’m a Christian and I have to forgive and love like God loves us, but am I wrong to still feel this way? I want to do what’s right in God’s eyes. Is it showing weakness on my part for trying to give him a chance? I’m praying that God is working on him.
(USA) Regi that is a very LITERAL statement you have made about the devil but so few believe that. Even saved people. So many horror moives portray it and God says it “Resist the devil and he will flee”
Poltergeist 2 when the anti christ in the old ghost of the pevil preacher Cane comes to the families door and you see the dad’s eyes fixed on this man who is the devil and he’s getting weaker listening to his lies. The devils keep saying “let me in” but dad won’t open the door to him, then he hears his little girl and his trance is broken.
That spirit finallly gets in after the dad drinks the bottle of Tequilla and swallows the worm. The devil got in that worm and as the dad gets worse he takes on more of Cane’s characteristics and tried to rape his wife. She begins to scream “I love you” and again it’s broken. The worm then comes out of him and grows into that demon and slimes away (that is for theatrics but the rest is so real)
May be a lot of Hollywood but that is really how it works and why the Bible says to guard your heart and keep your words and thoughts pure.
The devil came knocking and my husband not only let him in but held us down while we were all attacked. I saw the changes in his face and his eyes. There were times that his blue eyes were gold diamonds and a pastor friend told me he saw that in my father-in-law once when he tried to shoot my mother-in-law. The gun jammed but a few years later he succeeded and killed himself too. That same spirit.
My husband swore to God, hand on the Bible on our daughter’s life and she almost died. He would go in the bathroom begging God, he knew she was dying but I told him you have to confess and repent. Once he did, she ws fine. Drs. could not help her and I have a picture of her that a teacher took. She said it scared her, never seen my beautiful little girl look that way. There was SO MUCH more spiritual stuff that was the work of the devil.
Deep black pits where her eyes are just like my husband and encased in a black shadow. Saw it all over him. here is a smell that goes with that too. The stench of sin.
It’s very terrifying and sadly the lost world believes the devil exists more than the church but you are very correct in what you say. Satan is out to destroy children, fmailies marriages. They are what God loves the most and the only way the devil can hurt God is through us.
I believe just as God says it. Scripture is literal.
(USA) The answer is that you don’t just forgive and move on. First, he must commit to never seeing this woman for the rest of his life. He may have to get another job or move.
Second, you need to expose this affair far and wide.
Third, marriage counseling does not help affairs. You need a program that he must commit to follow with you. You need to communicate that is what is necessary in order for you to remain married to him. Read Surviving an Affair by Dr Bill Harley and visit Marriagebuilders.com. Click on Orin in the upper right hand corner and post for help.
People have affairs because of poor boundaries. He would need to remove whatever conditions existed that allowed his affair to happen.