“If both marriage partners agree, is anything taboo?” “What about the use of vibrators?” “Is oral sex okay?” [These are a few questions that Christian women asked about the sexual relationship in marriage from a survey that the authors conducted.] But at the heart of each of these questions were two concerns: What does God prohibit in the sexual relationship between a husband and wife? And concerning the marital bed, what does God permit? In other words, what is not okay in bed?
We read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and compiled a list of every scriptural reference to sex. As we reviewed our list it became apparent that God gives tremendous sexual freedom within the marriage relationship. But God also sets forth some prohibitions that we must honor.
Concerning What’s NOT Okay in Bed
These are the ten things God forbids in and out of bed:
1. Fornication:
Fornication is immoral sex. It comes from the Greek word porneia which means “unclean.” This broad term includes sexual intercourse outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:2; 1 Thessalonians 4:3), sleeping with your stepmother (1 Corinthians 5:1), sex with a prostitute (1 Corinthians 6:13; 1 Corinthians 6:15-16), and adultery (Matthew 5:32).
2. Adultery:
Adultery, or sex with someone who is not your spouse, is a sin and was punishable in the Old Testament by death. (See: Leviticus 21:10.) In the New Testament, Jesus expanded adultery to mean not just physical acts, but emotional acts in the mind and heart (Matthew 5:28).
3. Homosexuality:
The Bible is very clear that for a man to have sex with a man or woman to have sex with a woman is detestable to God. (See: Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:27; 1 Corinthians 6:9.)
4. Impurity:
These are several Greek words which are translated as “impurity.” To become “impure” (in Greek, molvno) can mean to lose one’s virginity (Revelation 14:4). It can also mean to become defiled, due to living out a secular and essentially pagan lifestyle 1 Corinthians 6:9; 2 Corinthians 7:1). The Greek word rupos often refers to moral uncleanness in general (Revelation 22:11).
5. Orgies:
For a married couple to become involved in sex orgies with different couples is an obvious violation of (1), (2), and (4) and needs no discussion.
6. Prostitution:
Prostitution, which is paying for sex, is morally wrong and condemned throughout Scripture. (See: Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17; Proverbs 7:4-27.)
7. Lustful passions:
First, let us tell you what this does not mean. Lustful passion does not refer to the powerful, God-given sexual desire a husband and wife have for one another. Instead, it refers to an unrestrained, indiscriminate sexual desire for men or women other than the person’s marriage partner. (See: Mark 7:21-22; Ephesians 4:19.)
8. Sodomy:
In the Old Testament, sodomy refers to men lying with men. The English word means “Unnatural sexual intercourse, especially of one man with another or of a human being with an animal.” Unfortunately, some Christian teachers have erroneously equated sodomy with oral sex. In the Bible, sodomites refer to male homosexuals or temple prostitutes (both male and female). In contemporary usage, the term sodomy is sometimes used to describe anal intercourse between a man and woman. This is not the meaning of the biblical word.
9. Obscenity and coarse jokes:
In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth.” The Greek word for unwholesome is very descriptive and literally mans “rotten” or “decaying.” In Ephesians 5:4, the Bible warns us to avoid “silly talk” or, as it is called in some versions, “coarse jesting.” We have all been around people who can see a sexual connotation in some innocent phrase and then begin to snicker or laugh. This is wrong. However, this does not rule out appropriate sexual humor in the privacy of marriage, but rather inappropriate sexual comments in a public setting.
10. Incest:
Incest, or sex with family members or relatives, is specifically forbidden in Scripture (Leviticus 18:7-18; Leviticus 20:11-21).
God leaves much in our sexual relationship with our husbands up to our discretion. In all likelihood, the questions tugging at the back of your mind were not even touched upon. When she read this list, Shelby commented: “It’s helpful to know what God says is wrong, but I still sometimes wonder if what my husband and I are doing is right. We have a great time together in bed, but every now and then, this nagging doubt comes—does God approve?”
To help you and all the Shelby’s, we will get more specific and address the questions we are constantly asked.
IS ORAL SEX PERMISSIBLE?
Clifford and Joyce Penner, in their excellent book The Gift of Sex, give this definition of oral sex: “Oral sex or oral stimulation is the stimulation of your partner’s genitals with your mouth, lips, and tongue. The man may stimulate the woman’s clitoris and the opening of the vagina with his tongue or the woman many pleasure the man’s penis with her mouth.” This sexual stimulation may or may not lead to orgasm for the husband and wife.
What does Scripture say about this sexual activity? Most theologians say the Scriptures are silent about oral-genital sex. Some believe two verses in the Song of Solomon may contain veiled references to oral sex.
The first is Song of Solomon 2:3:
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Throughout the Song of Solomon, the word fruit refers to the male genitals. In biblical literature, fruit is sometimes equated with the male genitals or with semen; so it is possible that we have a faint and delicate reference to an oral genital caress.
The second possible veiled reference is found in Song of Solomon 4:16 (KJV):
Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
These erotic words spoken by Solomon’s bride are at the culmination of a very sensuous love scene. Shulamith asks her husband to blow on her garden (a poetic reference used throughout the Song for the vagina) and cause its spices to flow out. Of course one cannot be certain, but it is possible Shulamith is inviting her husband to excite her by caressing her with his mouth. She then invites him to enter her and feast on the pleasures waiting in her “garden.”
Dr. Douglas Rosenau believes Scripture is silent on the topic of oral sex. “This does not make it right or wrong,” he says. A key emphasis in the New Testament is Christian liberty. Nothing is unclean in itself, says Paul (Romans 14:14), and this presumably includes sexual variety. Lewis Smedes, professor of theology at Fuller Seminary, amplifies Paul’s statement about nothing being unclean.
He writes:
Christian liberty sets us free from culturally invented “moral” taboos; and since there is no rule from heaven, it is likely that the only restraint is the feeling of the other person. For example, if one partner has guilt feelings about oral sex play, the Christian response of the other will be to honor the partner until they adjust their feelings. On the other hand, if the partner has only aesthetic reservations, and if these are rooted in some fixed idea that sex is little more than a necessary evil anyway, they have an obligation to be taught, tenderly and lovingly, of the joys of sex in the freedom of Christ.
YOUR MARITAL BED: For the Husband and Wife Only
In Intended for Pleasure, Dr. and Mrs. Ed Wheat writes that oral sex is a matter for only the husband and wife involved. If both find it enjoyable and pleasant, then it may properly fit into the couple’s lovemaking practices. One goal of lovemaking is to fill a treasure trove of memories with delightful love experiences that will quicken your responses during your future times together.
One minister’s wife blushes happily as she recalls a memo her husband sent requesting her presence for an urgent “appointment.”
RUN DON’T WALK! YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS EXCITING, DYNAMIC, RIPPING, SLEEP-DEFYING MEETING. Details follow: Would you like to have a meeting in the bathtub? (Loving massage and oral sex are included.) I love you, Your husband
Women Respond Differently in Bed Sexually
One woman might feel horrified by the above playful interchange between a husband and wife. To her, oral sex is repulsive. Another may think the minister and his wife have a gloriously free, creative, and fun sexual relationship. She sees that oral sex adds a beautiful dimension to this couple’s lovemaking.
Before we go any further, let us clarify our intent. Are we suggesting you incorporate oral sex into your love play? No. We are not making recommendations. Instead, our purpose is to set out for you what Scripture prohibits and to encourage you to seek God’s wisdom concerning His personal recommendations for your marriage.
Each couple is different.
Each husband and wife is unique. Because Scripture is either silent —or veiled —concerning this practice, the only way to discover what God allows for you is for you to ask Him. If you’ve never talked to God about your sexual relationship, now is a good time to start. You will not shock God. Remember, sex was His idea. God is a God of wisdom (Daniel 2:20). He promises that when we lack wisdom, if we ask Him, He will give it to us (James 1:5).
As you seek God’s wisdom, you might find it helpful to ask these three questions about any sexual practice you and your husband are considering.
Three Questions Concerning What is Allowed in the Marital Bed:
• Is it prohibited in Scripture? If not, we may assume it is permitted. “Everything is permissible for me” (1 Corinthians 6:12).
• Is it beneficial? Does the practice in any way harm the husband or wife or hinder the sexual relationship? If so, it should be rejected. “Everything is permissible for me—but not everything is beneficial” (1 Corinthians 6:12).
• Does it involve anyone else? Sexual activity is sanctioned by God for husband and wife only. If a sexual practice involves someone else or becomes public, it is wrong based on Hebrews 13:4, which warns us to keep the marriage bed undefiled.
Let’s see how these questions can help when it comes to making decisions about sexual practices that are not specifically spelled out in Scripture.
ARE VIBRATORS PERMISSIBLE?
Some couples enjoy incorporating the use of sexual aids such as vibrators into their lovemaking. To find out if the use of vibrator is right or wrong, let’s apply the three questions. Is the use of a vibrator prohibited by Scripture? Is a vibrator beneficial in lovemaking? Does the use of a vibrator involve anyone else?
As we look at the list of ten prohibitions, we see that there is no scriptural reference that would prohibit the use of a vibrator. So if a vibrator enhances a couple’s lovemaking and is used exclusively for the couple’s private enjoyment, then it is permitted. Does this mean we are suggesting you run out and buy a vibrator? No. Again, we are not recommending any sexual practice. We are only trying to help you discern what is best in your marriage as you seek the wisdom of God.
WHAT ABOUT X-RATED VIDEOS?
Obviously videos did not exist during biblical times, so we will not find “Thou shalt not watch X-rated videos” in Scriptures. (The same is true for vibrators.) But as we read through the list of the ten prohibitions, a red flag is raised. In number two on the list, adultery is defined as “looking on a woman to lust” whether the woman (or man) is on a video, in a picture, or in the living flesh. Secondly, number four on the list describes impurity as “moral uncleanness.” X-rated would qualify as “morally unclean,” thereby making them something God would disdain.
As far as what’s NOT okay in bed, let’s apply the questions:
• Are X-rated videos prohibited by Scripture? Yes, based on (2) and (4).
• Are X-rated videos beneficial? Anything that promotes “moral uncleanness” is not beneficial.
• Do X-rated videos involve someone else? Yes. You bring the man or woman on the video into your lovemaking.
Based on these answers, we could conclude that God wants us to stay away from X-rated videos. PLEASE NOTE: The following are a few linked articles that explain more about watching X-rated videos:
• READER QUESTION: Is Watching Porn Together Okay if We Both Agree?
• SHOULD MARRIED COUPLES USE PORN TO ENHANCE THEIR SEX LIFE?
We have considered three “gray areas,” oral sex, vibrators, and X-rated videos. There are many others. We encourage you and your husband to prayerfully seek God’s wisdom, study the list of ten prohibitions, and use the three questions to help you discern what to do in your specific situation.
Seek the Best
As Christians we are simultaneously free and responsible. We are responsible to seek the best of the one we love, to think more highly of him and his desires than our own (Philippians 2:3-4). But we are also free to explore new territories of sexual delight.
According to Dr. Lewis Smedes, “The Christian word on trying out a sexual practice that is not prohibited in Scripture is ‘Try it. If you like it, it is morally good for you. And it may well be that in providing new delight to each other; you will be adventuring into deeper experiences of love.'”
God has given you great freedom in your sexual relationship with your husband. Remember His words to Solomon and Shulamith: “Eat, friends, drink and be drunk with love!” (Song of Solomon 5:1)
This article comes from the book, Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex
— ALSO, As far as What’s Okay in Bed —
Below you will find several linked articles we encourage you to read. In reading them we believe you will know better what God does and doesn’t allow us to do sexually in bed and out of the bedroom:
• WHAT’S OKAY? AND WHAT’S NOT?
Filed under: Sexual Issues
(USA) What is a wife to do when her husband refuses to have sex and will not talk about it? What he wanted was not ok. He wanted me to talk about violently fighting with another woman. I respectfully refused and he has withheld physical affection for 12 years now. Worse, he had an online, phone affair. Now he says I withdrew from him and he can’t be happy unless he leaves.
(UNITED STATES) If you both are Christians then what he is doing is against the teachings in Corinthians. Read 1 Cor. 7:4-5. If he still doesn’t agree then he has a deeper problem with obeying the word. That other stuff you mentioned sounds like he is just giving you excuses because he is confused.
(UNITED STATES) ANYONE WHO SAYS ORAL SEX IN A MARRIAGE IS DEGRADING BECAUSE IT’S DONE BY PROSTITUTES, PORN ACTORS ETC. PEEP THIS BECAUSE THIS WILL BLESS YOU: The Bible is clear in 1 Cor. 6:18 where Paul says fornication is the only sin that we commit against our own bodies, would you agree with that? Would you also agree that sinning against your own body is degrading yourself? If so, then anyone who calls oral sex degrading is getting it twisted and here’s why:
Fornication is a word that describes a variety of sexual acts outside of marriage, by which oral sex is only one of them. BUT, Paul calls all sexual immorality as degrading oneself. Therefore, if it’s done outside of marriage then ALL OF IT IS DEGRADING YOURSELF. Singling oral sex out, and then calling it degrading because it’s done by prostitutes etc. is what I call a double standard. I say that because guess what other sexual acts are done by prostitutes and porn actors? The answer would be the act of sex itself, rubbing, feeling, grinding, fingering, etc. (Now we are adults here, I’m keeping it clean. It’s pretty graphic but it’s clean.) Should these acts also be band from the marriage bedroom? SEX, RUBBING, FEELING, etc. is all degrading IF it is not being experienced between a husband and wife.
My point is simply this, if anyone thinks oral sex in a marriage is still degrading because its done by prostitutes, what about normal sex too? Come on now, that’s a double standard do you see it? It does not become degrading UNTIL it is done outside of marriage, understand that.
Further more, Paul shows us in 1 Cor 7:4-5 how important it is for a husband to please his wife how she likes and vice versa, as long as it doesn’t involve anyone else of course. Basically what the scripture is saying is that the wife’s body isn’t hers and the husband’s body isn’t his, but their bodies belongs do the other. Then right after it says do not defraud one another accept in AGREEMENT for a certain amount of time only. Defraud means to deprive of right, so Paul is saying don’t hold back from the other which belongs to them, unless you’re in agreement. Paul is a man ya’ll, so I like how he sorta implies that if ya’ll are holding out then there better be fasting and praying going on (doing something productive). In other words, there better be a good reason for the abstinence. But the point is this, his body is not her’s and vice versa, therefore how can a husband or a wife deny the other oral sex if that is what they desire?
I’ll let you ladies who are against it in on a secret. You are not doing it for you! It’s not for your satisfaction but for your husband’s, and likewise. People who have a problem with oral sex in a marriage have no scripture to validate their opinion. Instead, they are just leaning to their own understanding which I could have promised we were told not to do. And then we wonder why our husband isn’t happy or our wife isn’t happy.
Grab a hold of this webpage if you are married because it will bless your marriage, and it will keep your spouse from straying.
I think men and women should communicate their sexual desires BEFORE marriage, so that there doesn’t wind up being sexual frustration WITHIN marriage! What if the man likes anal sex but the prospective wife is disgusted by the practice? Then, don’t get married! The guy is going to want to have anal sex and will feel cheated that the wife won’t give it to him and, likely, will go outside of marriage to get it (not that it would right to do that!).
Not talking about your sexual desires before a marriage (assuming that both are not virgins, which is usually the “case”, nowadays) is a RECIPE FOR DISASTER!
People, both men and women, husbands and wives, change their minds. Some will agree with the other before their wedding, then show their true opinions, likes and dislikes once the spouse is snared.
(AUSTRALIA) The fact is that the church and three pastors told my wife to divorce me, because I committed adultery. But she committed adultery 1st and I forgave her. She has now ran off with a non-Christian male and has had a child with him, even though we had three children, it meant nothing to her or to anyone, especially those in the church…
It makes me sick to the guts that Christians are twisting God’s word to fulfill their lust. This includes my wife. If you think divorce is God’s answer, then please tell me why did Jesus say we must forgive people 70 times 7? This hard hearted world and Christians are weak and going to hell for their hatred and no love… WE MUST FORGIVE AND RECONCILE. Jesus is our example…
(USA) Darren, this is why the church is powerless, and weak! We need a revival, and we need it now. Sunday, after Sunday I sit, and listen to sermons exalting oneself. The messages of today are: be happy, get your needs met, etc. Nothing about the desires of God for us. Little is said about His desires for us to be holy, and separate, unspotted by the world, and its ways.
In an old book written by R.A. Torrey (How to Pray), the chapter on hinderances to prayer struck a cord in my soul. #6 reason he gives to hinderances to prayer should be looked at prayerfully by every earnest child of God. “There is much of sin covered up under the holy name of marriage that is a cause of spiritual deadness, and powerlessness in prayer.” The church has become a den of self indulgence, with little thought of what pleases God. People, it’s not about us, it’s about Him. We’re not living as eternal creatures. Lord, deliver us.
(USA) I am so happy to had found your site, purely by accident or most likely by divine interaction. You have answered my questions of what is and is not permitted in the bedroom with my wife. I hope to share this site with my wife in order that we both have a better understanding of each other needs. Thank you
(USA) So you who say oral sex and vibrators are a sin and are saying that a woman, like me, who is unable to achieve orgasm through vaginal sex are just up a creek? It is just too bad. Your wives have to either fake orgasms or are having a miserable and confusing sex life, like I used to. You do realize that most women do not achieve orgasm through vaginal sex? So you must think we don’t deserve to be pleasured and that is God’s plan for us? WOW. So glad I am not married to you!
(USA) We are all perfect creations of God; that is God made us. Taking that fact a step further, God created us with erogenous zones from the top of our heads to the soles of our feet. That wasn’t a cruel joke by God. It’s not like the edict came down, “you have all this wonderful capacity for pleasure, but DON’T USE IT!!!”
If we weren’t meant to enjoy every aspect of the body’s potential for pleasure, we wouldn’t have the capability to. Anyone who is disgusted or embarrassed about any sexual act that happens between two people who love each other is playing archaic tapes made by men, thousands of years ago, who weren’t having sex.
Since misery loves company, they decided to restrict pleasure and make some arbitrary, ridiculous rules about what is and isn’t sexually acceptable. I feel really bad for all of those people whose sexual lives are so limited. Someday, when they’re old, feeble, and no longer sexually attractive, they’ll look back on their lives with regret and bitterness that they didn’t enjoy themselves, body, mind and spirit together, when they had the chance. God wants us to love ourselves and one another, period. Any other comments about how we should or shouldn’t enjoy pleasure should be viewed as suspect.
(PHILIPPINES) Is it okay to fantasize about your wife? If for example, you’re away (out of town or out of the country) and you were masturbating, imagining your wife. Would that be okay?
Alexander, I just read an article today about this very subject. It’s written by Sheila Wray Gregoire, and even though it does address mostly women, Sheila makes some good points that men can apply, as well. It’s titled, “Long Distant Marriages.” I hope you’ll read it and I hope it helps.
(USA) I am real torn on the subject of anal sex in marriage. My husband really likes it and my body really enjoys it but sometimes it feels wrong in my head. Hard to tell if that is God or my mother talking.
As for oral and manual stimulation, it is nearly impossible to have vaginal intercourse without 2 things: The woman must be wet and the man must be hard. You do what you have to do to make these things happen. God knew that. So why would he prohibit acts that make that happen. Also, if a sexual act between man and wife is wrong unless it is intended to mAke a baby, why did God give us so many pleasure centers to make it feel good? Which leads me back to the anal sex. If God doesn’t want us to do it, why would he put pleasure centers there?
Yes I am confused. Have been in a very depraved marriage. Now I am in a Christian marriage with a real, old fashioned gentleman and have no idea what is right or wrong. I believe my husband is pure in mind and heart (or at least tries to be) and would not ask me to do something against God but I am too embarrassed to come out and ask my pastor.
(USA) Then you add age and medical problems that God had to be aware would happen. My husband is in his 50’s and his testosterone level has dropped. Needs help getting hard. I am post menapausal and need help getting wet. Neither of us are 16 and in our prime.
Add to that the fact that I have developed a rarely talked about type of migraine. It is called a coital migraine. Basically, at the point of orgasm my head feels like it splits open and I can’t help but scream until it stops. Kind of ruins the mood. I may no longer be able to enjoy sex with my husband but that does not mean he has to live the rest of his life celibate. There are things I can do for him.
I believe God understands our situation and I do not believe God finds anything wrong with what I am doing for my husband. Unfortunatly for him, I don’t really like oral sex so it does not happen that much but I love my husband enough to put his needs before mine.
Something interesting I have noticed in the posts on this site. I originally came here looking for answers about anal sex between husband and wife. What I have found in the posts is this. If you like it, you find scriptures that say it is ok. If you don’t like it, you find scriptures that say it is bad. Does anyone have a REAL answer based on Christian fact and not on personal feeling?
The Bible can be made out to support most anything by deciding what you want to justify and then go cherrypicking the phrase or phrases that seem to support your position. Often when someone “proves” something, all I or another have to do is to point out the verse preceding or following.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi! I am 21 yrs of age. I’m a christian and my partner is as well. We have both decided to stop having sexual intercause as a way of trying to be loyal to God and glorifying his name. We believe that we are meant for each other and we are both willing to wait for each other until we marry. We’ve made a firm decition to abstain and we are never going to change our minds about it. My question is, will it be wrong biblically to share a bed without doing anything sexual? I will really appreciate your response. Thank you!
(USA) hi Thokozile
I as many on here, applaud your decision to abstain until marriage. You will find that it is one of the best decisions that you will make. From a brother to a brother, staying with your GF and not expecting to be tempted is like leaving gasoline near a open flame; it might not explode at first, but it is not a matter of if it explodes–it is a matter of when. In Corinthians, Paul tells us as men that we are to flee youthful lusts and the scriptures encourage us to avoid even the appearance of evil. Also, it is statistically proven that couples that cohabitatie before they are married have a 50% greater chance of divorcing than those who don’t.
Also, think of your testimony before others. Because the world around you thinks nothing of unmarried couples cohabiting, they do know that Christians aren’t supposed to do it. That you have already been cohabiting and now you have stopped the sexual part doesn’t mean that anyone will believe it. Separate and have separate living accommodations some distance apart. AND don’t masturbate. You won’t die or have any ill effects from not having sex. It will take care of itself.
(UNITED STATES) After reading the song of Solomon in the Hebrew text clearly it has nothing to do with oral sex!
It doesn’t in English, either. To find oral, anal and hand sex in the Song requires the searcher to be looking for justification for his/her practices. Just reading without that in mind would never find any allusions to pervsex. Her “garden” (“gan” = a fenced-in or hedged about place) is her, not only her vagina. The Bible often uses the phrase “come in unto her.” This in no wise alludes to Solomon doing cunnilingus to her.
The Song also says for the virgin “daughters of Jerusalem” not to stir up or wake love till it please. The KJV makes this into “my” (her) love but the “my”is added. Other versions make love, not Solomon, the object. Song 2:7, 3:5, 8:4 The Hebrew does not justify the additions.
For a gentle but firm counsel on masturbation, see {lavistachurchofchrist.org/LVanswers/2008/02-12b.html} The writer says that “Men will masturbate to get rid of excess semen, to cut down on sexual desire which builds as semen accumulates in the body (primarily the seminal vesicles), or will experience nocturnal emissions, which is involuntary masturbation in their sleep.” Masturbation is unnecessary to “get rid of excess semen,” as when the seminal vesicles are sufficiently distended, the erection and ejaculation cycle starts off automatically, usually during one of the nocturnal erections that typically occur 3-5 times during the night, coinciding with REM sleep cycles. If a man does not have frequent intercourse, this will relieve the buildup of seminal fluid (not sperms, which comprise only 2-5% of the emission volume, being stored in the epididymis until the ejaculatory cycle begins. The prostate gland produces only a small amount of seminal fluid until the ejaculatory cycle begins.
Masturbating to “cut down on sexual desire” doesn’t really work, because the more the seminal system is stimulated, the more seminal fluid is produced up to its capacity. Nocturnal emissions are NOT “masturbation in their sleep. Nocturnal erections and emissions are not due to masturbating but occur spontaneously. REM sleep dreams may or may not be sexual. The nocturnal erections occur spontaneously, as do the emissions. The rest of the article is well written. Just some of his biological details were a little off.
(UNITED STATES) Having been married for 17 years to my wonderful Christian husband, I find few things that are not permissible in our bedroom. Pornography is one and of course, other people. If it is something you both agree to, then I have no problem with it. Nothing should ever be forced. If done properly, anal sex is very enjoyable for both of us and I always climax from it where I do not with vaginal sex. I also enjoy giving oral sex to my husband and I find that I am very aroused by it. Sexual intimacy in the marriage is a way to give yourself over completely to your spouse. It is a beautiful thing and I treasure it.
(USA) Pornography should never be permitted in a marriage. An important part of marriage is sexual exclusivity. If one or both partners are watching porn then why happens is they start comparing their spouse to the porn stars. This creates a contrast effect and ruins intimacy in the marriage. Here is an article from Marriagebuilders.com about the use of porn in marriage: “What to Do When Your Spouse Has an Addiction to Pornography” http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5050a_qa.html
(UNITED STATES) Studies show that 80% of women do not have orgasms from vaginal intercourse regardless of the position. So what would their partners be able to do to pleasure them without oral sex… Can they use hands?
(USA) Mine is not comment but further question. Please I am 39 years old. My husband has been sick for 12 years. We have 3 beautiful children. My husband has been impotent for about 15 years. Is it biblical for me to us vibrators to satisfy my sexual urge at least to stop me from thinking of meeting other men?
Obesity produces estrogen, which reduces potency. Diabetes also reduces potency and is correlated with obesity. Heart disease, closely associated with obesity and diabetes, reduces potency. Erections are caused by the arteries that go to the corpora cavernosa, the two long chambers that run from the glans (the smooth tip or head of the penis) back to the root of the penis, which is above the perineum just ahead of the rectum.
Valves open, allowing blood pressure to inflate the corpora cavernosa. As it swells, it constricts the veins that drain the corpora, further increasing blood pressure in the corpora. The penis lengthens and enlarges. Underneath, the corpus spongiosum, which surrounds the urethra, also fills with blood and swells. These three corpora make the penis rigid and ready for penetration.
Exercising the sphincters, the rings of muscle that surround the base of the penis, the anus and, in women, the vagina, helps toward erections. If excess weight can gradually be lost, it will reduce diabetes, lower the load on the heart, and encourage strong, stiff erections. Years of neglect and abuse, overweight, lack of activity, and heavy indulgence in PORN and masturbation are counter to arousal.
An old wife cannot compete well with young, trim and beautiful pornstars. If you are overweight, it will do you both good for you to lose weight while he does. If he becomes functional at all, avoid PORN like the plague, and do NOT masturbate. Center your sexual arousal on one another. Exclude all others: porn, your own hand. The troubles with masturbation are that you can custom-stimulate yourself precisely. In kissing and caressing one another, you are giving of yourself to one another, not taking from, which is what you are doing when you get sex from pornstars or your hands. Masturbation is encouraged by the Progressive agenda as a contribution to population reduction. If you’re masturbating, you’re not procreating. When they state publicly that “we” (the elites) need to reduce the population by 95%, guess who they want to get rid of.
If you spent your married youth “letting” your husband have sex only when YOU were “in the mood,” it’s little wonder that his genital nerve system gave up. Sex is an “use it or lose it” deal. Frequent sex, like three or four sessions weekly between periods, keeps the systems exercised in good working order. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 strongly counsels frequent regular sexual intercourse.
(US) I was reading through some of the verses that were listed and under incest about not sleeping with your mother or father”s brother (uncle) and all it says about sleeping with your aunt is that it disgraces her husband. So does that mean if your aunt is not married then it is ok?
“Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father’s sister.” Leviticus 18:12
“Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother’s sister. Lev. 18:13
Why the question?