There are two questions that keep running through my mind, over and over again. They are: “Why are we here?” and “What is our mission together?” These questions have been particularly shoved to the front of my mind ever since Steve’s heart attack.
When we found out how close he came to death, it shook us to our core. Not many people survive the type of LAD heart attack that Steve lived through —particularly since it was a “completed heart attack.” By time we realized what had happened, the damage was done. There is no surgical repair in Steve’s future. The heart “event” (as the doctors call it) is completed. But still, even with the damage done to his heart, he is doing WELL! Thank you Jesus!
Why Are We Here?
I’m not pointing this out to bring drama to this Insight, but to point to those questions again. Why are we here? What is our mission together? We have several friends (and know of many others) who have died of the same heart attack Steve had. Why did Steve live, and yet they didn’t? We’re no more special than they are.
We don’t know the answer to that question. We thank God for His mercy, and accept the fact that Steve must still be on this earth for a reason. That goes for you too. God can make any breath you take your last. There is a reason you are still breathing here on this earth. Have you truly pondered that? Why are you here? Is it mainly for your pleasure? Or does God have a greater purpose for you to still be here?
We’re Here for a Purpose
We know that one of the reasons is “for Him.” We’re told in Colossians 1:16-17, “For by Him all things were created… through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” God holds us together. We can’t breathe without His being involved. But we aren’t here just to breathe; there is a larger purpose involved. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot give a bit more insight into this. In their devotional book, The One Year Love Talk Devotional for Couples
“God is committed to one major objective: helping us conform to the image of His son (see Philippians 2:5-11). And His Son, Scripture says, ‘came not to be served but to serve’ (Mark 10:45). It is as straightforward as that. God wants us to be giving people. Philippians 2:4 says, ‘Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’’ Galatians 5:13 says, ‘Serve one another in love.’
“Marriage is a great means to becoming more like Christ. Paul says to ‘motivate one another to acts of love and good works’ (Hebrews 10:24). Marriage helps us to do that, and when we join our efforts in service together, we are doubly blessed.”
“You’ve Got to Help Other People”
In another part of their devotional book, they talk about “Mother Hale of Harlem” who was a hero in “providing a warm, loving, nurturing home for infants and young children in need.” They write:
”When asked why she worked so diligently to meet the difficult needs of abandoned and often drug-addicted infants, Clara Hale would say, ‘You’ve got to help other people in this world; otherwise why are you here?’”
What is Our Mission Together?
On this issue the Parrott’s write, and we wholeheartedly agree:
“That’s a great question for all of us to ask ourselves. In your marriage specifically, WHY ARE YOU HERE —for yourself? WHY ARE YOU TWO HERE, together as a couple —for yourselves? Asking ourselves these direct questions is sure to cause any of us to consider the difference we are making, as a couple, or on our own, and what can we be doing to make more of one.”
Concerning Your Mission Together – Prayerfully Consider
We want to leave you with these questions. We’re praying the Holy Spirit talks to your hearts on this matter. The first question to prayerfully consider is:
• WHY ARE YOU HERE?
And for those of you who are married —especially those of you who are married to a Christ-follower:
• WHY ARE YOU TWO HERE, TOGETHER AS A COUPLE?
• WHAT IS THE MISSION OF YOUR MARRIAGE?
In addition, here’s a great article to read on this matter. Gary Thomas makes this point well and gives you a few more questions to discuss.
• MARRIED FOR A MISSION: The Surprising Path to a Renewed Marriage
For Steve and I… we know that God has us here as a couple to invest in each other. We are each here to be God’s colleague in expressing love to the other. We also know He has us here to invest in other marriages, and individuals —to mentor, and point others to Christ. For Steve, this especially includes First Responders (such as Firefighters). Another reason we believe we are here is to invest into the lives of our family, our friends, and our community. Thankfully, we can still do this together.
In how we live our lives together, we agree with something Tim Suttle wrote:
“Christian marriage does not exist for the benefit of the two people in the marriage; it is for the benefit of the world, that God would be glorified in it. The main purpose of marriage is not the enjoyment of the two people who are married, the main purpose of marriage is to glorify Christ as we participate in the mission of God.”
May we never forget to live out our mission!
You Are a Light
But even if your spouse isn’t a Christ-follower, God still has a mission for you, as His child. It may be so you can be a “light” showing God’s love to your spouse. It may be so you are a “light” showing God’s love to your children. And it may be so you are a “light” showing God’s love to those who see how you live with your spouse and children under difficult situations. There are so very many reasons, beyond our understanding, I’m sure.
On this note, we found a link to another web site that touches on this topic to also prayerfully ponder:
• BIBLE VERSES ABOUT WHY GOD CREATED MAN
Please pray about all of this, and know that we’re praying for you too. If you have any insights and encouragement to share with others please “join the discussion” below.
Cindy and Steve Wright
Filed under: Marriage Insights
I’ve been married going 6 years now and I really can’t answer this question of why I and my husband got married. Worse for me is that I’m not sure my husband knows either. It hurts really that we seem to be 2 different people with parallel purposes and goals and values. It’s just so frustrating even thinking about it and it’s mentally crippling. O God help!
Oyai, I’m so sorry you are at this place in your marriage. I’ve been at that place before so I know it is frustrating and confusing. I’m not sure why you and your husband got married, but I do know that God has a plan for your lives now that you ARE married. Please don’t give up hope. Look to God to show you how to live within your marriage so you are His light. There is an Insight that we wrote a while ago that I recommend you read. You can find it at: https://marriagemissions.com/does-god-save-marriages/. Please read it and see what God says to you afterward. Perhaps God is telling both of you to humbly start praying together.
I don’t know where you are spiritually, or your husband. I hope you can and will start praying together –that God will help you to unite and FIND your mission together. Also, pray that God will show you how to grow your love. If your husband won’t pray with you (although it’s important to ask him to do so… don’t prejudge)… you can still pray without him. Cheri Fuller, who wrote the book, “When Couples Pray” wrote the following: “If you are married to someone who, despite your best efforts, avoids praying with you or is disinterested in spiritual matters, let me encourage you to keep praying for your spouse. Know that when you’re feeling alone in the prayer closet, heaven is watching, and the God of the universe is listening. You are not alone! In fact, the spiritual reality is that when you pray –with or without your spouse –you are joining Jesus in intercession. He’s seated at the right hand of the Father making intercession for you (Hebrews 7:25), and He makes a terrific prayer partner!
“Our divine Prayer Partner does not want us to give up praying for that reluctant spouse. He urges us to be like the persistent widow who, in her determination to receive justice from the unrighteous judge, kept on knocking, seeking, and asking. And Christ assures us that the One who sees what we do in secret will reward us openly (Matthew 6:6) if we P.U.S.H: Pray Until Something Happens!”
Please prayerfully consider this. There are a few other articles I recommend you read, if you will. The first is: https://marriagemissions.com/push/. The second is: https://marriagemissions.com/praying-for-change/. And the third is: https://marriagemissions.com/prayer-husband-head-toe/. You can also go to the “Spiritual Matters” topic on this web site to read more. I hope you will and pray God ministers to your marriage, and your heart, and your husband’s heart as you line your will up with God’s.
Feel the same way at times. God knows what’s up; if you have the Holy Ghost he is on your side and even before I did he helped me trust he has it all figured out.
We too have recently faced the potential for a catastrophic loss in our marriage. As a result, we have renewed our commitment to our Lord, and our marriage. We are engaging each other in a marriage devotional every day.
We have also recently moved. We bought our daughter and son-in-law’s house, and have them staying with us while they build their own home. I truly believe that God has made this happen for multiple reasons. Having our kids and grandkids close keeps us focused on the examples our lives are to those around us. It offers us the opportunity to help each other with an immediacy that we haven’t enjoyed before. It also allows our grandkids more of an opportunity to attend church services. Our kids are Christians, but do not attend a church.
We are thankful for the blessing that Marriage Missions is to us. We will continue to pray for Steve’s continued recovery!
Ken and Barb, How we love you guys and are backing you in prayer as you rebuild your marriage, and family stronger than ever before. We’re so proud of both of you. Your devotional and prayer time, and unity in the Lord will only grow your marriage stronger. We know that God is working His mission within your hearts as His Light to your family and beyond.