Sometimes it’s a shock, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes a wife just knows that something is wrong and yet doesn’t know what to do about it. And what’s especially disturbing is when the “someone” that is viewing images of women that he shouldn’t, is your pastor husband. What can you do about this “secret” sin and yet not totally destroy your lives and ministry? What do you do when your pastor husband is ensnared by pornography?
The best advice we can give is to point you to other wives and ministries that can best answer that question.
Pastor Husband Ensnared by Porn
It’s true that you have a unique problem. That is because there aren’t a lot of “safe” places where you can get the help that is needed. And yet you also can’t allow the wrong behavior to continue. Sooner or later that, which is hidden in darkness will be revealed by the Light of Christ. And the longer the sin is allowed to fester in the darkness, the worse the consequences can become for those involved. Others who witness this happening will suffer, as well.
So, to help you with this dilemma, we will provide links to articles and resources posted on other web sites.
We believe the “mission” that God has given to this ministry is to point others to the best help that is available for their particular problem, as God provides. That is why we will point you to others who know more about this than we do.
Written By Pastor’s Wife
First, this article is written by a Pastor’s wife. She thought she was doing her Pastor husband a favor when he was away from his desk. She was “cleaning up” his computer that was reacting slow and appeared to be bogged down with too much data. Sadly, she found the cleaning that needed to be done was more about the subject of the data than the amount.
Please click onto the Pureintimacy.org link to read:
Also, the ministry of Clergy Recovery Network has an article posted that gives additional information. As they noted,
“One pastor hooked on porn told CRN, ‘I am the darling in my denomination and if anyone ever finds out about my pornography use I will be tossed to the curb.’ He went on to say, ‘I have always been the pure one, the one with the answers. I was the one who could be trusted. But this stuff on the Internet has taken charge of my life in less than six months.’ His telling the truth was the beginning of lasting change. But his rapid descent into darkness and his fear of discovery is as common as communion in churches today.”
To learn more, please click onto the link below to read:
Additionally, from the Covenant Eyes Ministry, the following is a link to an interview with Jeff and Marsha Fisher:
“Jeff was a pastor and a church planter. He was secretly ensnared in pornography addiction and eventually lost his job as a result.” In this “portion of the interview Jeff will briefly share about the day his sins came to light.
“His wife, Marsha, will talk about how Jeff’s addiction had been affecting their marriage up to that point. She explains how she felt the day Jeff lost his job.”
And then afterward there are links to Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 of the interview available. That way you can listen to the entire story. Please click onto the link below to listen to:
• FROM PORN TO PURITY —One Married Couple Shares Their Story
“Problems with, or addiction to online pornography is one of the fastest growing problems in the lives of North American pastors today. Unfortunately, by its very nature, the obsession with pornography on the web by a pastor is often unnoticed by those around them. Even wives can be kept in the dark about where their husband’s internet journey has taken them.
“It has become such a common problem, that groups have formed which only exist to help ministers out of the entangled lives they find themselves living.”
To help you with this problem here is a document that gives a list of resources “for those ensnared in pornography.” To see what this list offers, please click onto the link below:
• 20 MINISTRY RESOURCES TO HELP PASTORS FIGHT PORNOGRAPHY
Above all, this is my prayer for you:
“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)
“May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” (Colossians 1:11)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
We hope this article has been helpful for you. If you have additional tips you can share, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Pastors and Missionary Marriages
2 responses to “When Pastor Husband is Ensnared by Pornography”
(USA) My husband is very active in different ministries at church and is a wonderful man. Recently, while reviewing the search history on our computer, I discovered that he has been going to sites that reveal nude women and other cybersex photos and info. I am devastated and want to approach him about this but don’t know how to do so in a way that will have the best outcome.
(USA) I had know for years that my husband was being unfaithful but could not prove it. I went on line to take a typing lesson, lined up on the window was twenty women’s pictures, I started clicking on everything, favorites, computer desk…many, many files and what I saw caused me to go in shock. Here he is a pastor. I know it was not the right thing to do, but I called him and read to him all I was seeing, he ask who have you got on my computer? At this point I was so sick I was not able to dress myself. God spoke these words to me, “you have six months to live if you do not get out.” I listened to God and I got out, he is still in the pulpit, remarried, and this wife is going through the same as I did, it’s one thing to fall but to stay in the pulpit scares me, is there any forgiveness for this, it really has me worried, after all he is my children’s father and I worry for his soul. Concerned Ex