How many have noticed things don’t always go according to your plans?
Small Things. Big Things. Both will occur, so how do you handle it? What is your attitude? Grumble and complain?
Our attitude affects everything we do in life. What we focus on in life — our thinking — determines the type of life we live — emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Our attitude is the mind’s paintbrush; it can color any situation. Proverbs 27:19 says, “For a man’s heart reflects the man” — and it comes out in our attitudes.
When Things Don’t Go Our Way Our Attitudes Matter!
This is what Bob and Yvonne Turnbull (of Turnbull Ministries) tell us concerning our attitudes within our marriages. And we totally agree! Throughout the many years of our marriage, we have had to make attitude adjustments more times than we can count! If we hadn’t, we wouldn’t still be married. We would have ruined our marriages years ago. And how sad is that? We would have missed out on so much good that the Lord had and has planned for us!
Concerning things not going according to our plans, here’s a challenge for all of us:
“Choose your attitude…’If both of us are cranky, someone has to un-crank,’ a woman told me. Do you work at sending out good energy in your marriage? It’s not easy to make a conscious decision to reverse the thrust of a tense situation and create it as you want it to be rather than fall under its sway. It takes maturity and an eye on the ball to recognize that; although it’s tempting to keep swimming around in the old bad soup until our point is made, it is braver to select a different path to meet our ends.” (Toni Sciarra Poynter)
To inspire you a bit more, read further to see what the Turnbull’s say concerning this issue. They write:
We may not have control over circumstances, but we do have control over our attitude in the midst of the circumstances. So, we need an attitude adjustment. But how? Two ways.
First — Be an opportunity person, not an obstacle person
Obstacle people look at the problem and stay there. However, opportunity people look at the problem and look for the opportunities God has placed in the midst of the problem — to be blessed and to bless others. The difference between an obstacle and an opportunity is one’s attitude.
How do you do it? One answer is found in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 — “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is God’s Will for you in Christ Jesus.”
That’s right; we’re to be joyful ALWAYS. And we’re to pray continually; for often we stop praying when we’re in a difficult situation and try to maneuver in our own strength. Prayer focuses change from those situations to the One who can handle ALL situations.
Plus, in EVERYTHING, give thanks. And as a bonus — write a thankful list of all the things you are thankful for in the midst of the circumstances. In doing that, it will change your focus.
Secondly — Be a thermostat — not a thermometer
A thermometer reacts to the environment. A thermostat sets the tone for the environment. It’s important to note that life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.
The Apostle Paul was a thermostat. He was goal driven. He felt led to go to Rome and speak to the gentiles; but his plans were disrupted. He was shipwrecked, beaten, falsely accused, imprisoned, and chained to a guard. His attitude? No grumbling or complaining. He was calm. His secret? Philippians 4:13 — “I can do EVERYTHING God asks me to do with the help of Christ, who gives me strength and power.”
He trusted God to provide what he needed. An example would be that even while in prison and chained to a guard, since he was a citizen of Rome, he could have a secretary to whom he dictated so much of what is in the New Testament of the Bible, which millions of people have read for two thousand years.
Everything he went through served a purpose. Everything WE all go through also serves a purpose; and because of that we all have hope. We’re told in Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to HIS purpose.”
When Things Don’t Go According to Plans, Remember:
God is in control of EVERY detail and every detail is His concern. He only allows what we can handle—to refine us and help us become more like His Son, Jesus Christ. He knows what fruit will come from our pain and challenge.
Corrie ten Boom, who was in a Nazi concentration camp during World War Two (and later became a prolific author and speaker) said, “If you look at the world you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you will be depressed. But if you look at Christ, you’ll be at rest.”
SO, when things don’t go according to plan, look for the opportunities God has placed there—to bless you [and others] with — and — know God is 100% with you. He will give you power to go through it because there IS a purpose for it. So,
“Now is the time to replace the negative attitude with the positive. Are you ready to replace the wrong with the right, to move gratitude into the house where griping has lived? God wants you to build a house of gratitude.” (Linda Dillow) “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” (Proverbs 24:3-4)
CLOSING PRAYER
Thank you, Lord, for permitting those events in our lives that will further your purpose in our lives. Teach us to respond to life’s events — by NOT grumbling or griping with a desire for us to control and change circumstances — BUT — to respond as a thermostat so that our attitudes and actions will draw others to you and bring YOU Glory. Amen.
We hope what the Turnbull’s wrote helps you in your marriage relationship. May God help and guide us together in our marriage journeys!
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you even further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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