You’ve lost your job. How do you cope? How do you deal with all of the different emotions, the financial concerns, as well as the marriage and family concerns that bombard your mind? And how do you even deal with God, wondering why He would allow you to be in this place in your life? These are just a few of the issues you may be dealing with after you lose your job.
“Whether you’ve been fired, retrenched or euphemistically, ‘let go,’ losing your job can be a difficult trial to walk through. Given that an average person will have 10 to 12 jobs in a lifetime of work, losing your job at least once during that span of time, is actually a likely scenario. The question isn’t whether it’ll happen to you, but rather how you plan to deal with it when it does happen.
“Can a Christian lose his job, yet keep his integrity in the process? How do you get fired and glorify God?”
Advice from “Experts”
Quite honestly, I don’t know. But I know of some “experts” that do. Most of them have lived through this experience in one way or another. So I’m passing along in written form, that which they’ve learned, hoping it will help you.
Whether you are the “bread-winner” or a co-laborer in supporting your household, please read the advice given and glean what you can from it. Don’t get stuck on the specifics. Ask the Lord to personalize the information so you can learn what HE wants you to gain from reading this.
As the saying goes, “it’s not just what you’ve lived through that’s important, but what you’ve learned through and pass along to others.”
With that said, the following web site link, will lead you to an article, as well as several comments below. They might help you on this journey.
Please Read:
Pastor, author, and financial expert, Steve Diggs gives the following advice:
“If you’re part of the jobless, you know it’s tough! To give you some more statistics, the average time to find a new job right now is about 4 and 1/2 months. I’d like to help you shorten that. If you have a minute, let me share some tips that might be helpful if you’ve lost your job and are in a desert period.”
To learn these tips, please read the following CBN.com article:
• TODAY’S GREAT FEAR: What If I Lose My Job?
“Whether you’ve been laid-off, fired, downsized, outsized or right-sized doesn’t really matter. If you’ve been forced out of a position without a new one in sight, the road you’re traveling is likely full of speed bumps, potholes and detours!”
Brad Lewis, in his Focusonthefamily.com article discusses some of these “speed bumps, potholes and detours.” He highlights a few things concerning, “What you’re feeling.” And then he gives a few tips on “What you can do about it” in the article linked below:
The Personal Crisis
Whether your job was lost because of a down-sizing or lay-off move made by your employer, a lay-off situation, or whatever, losing a job can bring one to a point of “personal crisis.” As one person put it:
“Coping with job loss can create an identity crisis. I lost the career I had held for more than twenty-five years due to a serious injury. Because of my resulting limitations, I could not get another job. While employed in my field, I experienced such pride and satisfaction. I valued my education, my experience, the longevity of my career, and my capabilities. Now it was gone.
“Suddenly, all of those things that had been so important to me were meaningless. When I lost my career, I felt I had lost far more than just a job. I was distraught and suffered job loss depression. How could I earn a living? I was not really sure who I was anymore or if I had the capability to do anything at all. My self-worth plummeted. Of what value was my life now? It, too, seemed meaningless.
“There was a man in the Bible who felt much the same way. Ecclesiastes 1:2 says, ‘Meaningless! Meaningless! …Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.‘ That’s how I felt!”
To learn more, please click onto the web site article:
• COPING WITH JOB LOSS – AM I MEANINGLESS?
Another Testimony
And then, on the same web site, you can read another helpful testimony. It concerns the journey of a woman who lost her job, and the life lessons she learned along the way. As she said,
“There were certainly dark days when I questioned, ‘God, what in the world are You doing?’ But that isn’t giving up. That is getting honest with our Creator.”
To read more, go to:
• COPING WITH JOB LOSS – Another Personal Story
And then, on the practical side of this situation, to read an article posted on Beliefnet.com, which could help you now and in the future, please click onto:
• CHRISTIAN ADVICE ON JOB LOSS —How to Survive Layoffs
This Journey
I hope you’ve found something within this article that will encourage you. What you are going through is difficult, to say the least. But I encourage you NOT to allow this setback to chip away at your marriage relationship. It’s important not to act like strangers or enemies with one another. The goal is to be partners struggling through this journey together.
It will take intentionality to NOT turn on one another, if the journey gets long, which it may. But please don’t allow the enemy of our faith to gain further victory. You have already suffered from the loss of your job. Work so that you do not also lose your marriage. Many experience both losses because they don’t find ways to draw together. Be intentional. Partner together. Don’t drive your spouse away at a time when you most need additional strength from each other.
If you’re in a bad place in your marriage, NOW is the time to do your part to turn things in a better direction. Each day can be a new beginning if you allow it to be. We have other articles on this web site that can help, if you need it.
Keep in Mind:
“In every marriage, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and to continue to find, the grounds for marriage.” –Robert Anderson
I’d like to end this article with the same verbiage that the blog, “Every Square Inch” ended theirs. That is because we value your input as to helping one another, in community —compassionately helping one another in whatever ways it is possible:
“Regardless of how you lost your job, how did the experience affect you? What did you learn through the process? Even if you’ve never lost your job, what advice would you offer?”
Also, if you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
Filed under: Assorted Marriage Issues Finances in Marriage
(USA) I have lost three jobs within the last six years and I’ve had other personal problems occur. I am highly educated and have plenty of years with work experience. I need to know, does God have a plan for my life or do I need to pray more to find the solution? It’s very frustrating and embarassing to be the husband and constantly starting over. I have a wife and two girls that are looking at everything. Please someone give me some advice to cope with this experience.
To all Brothers in Christ who are facing a Job loss in this era, I’m sorry for your circumstance. I too have experienced job loss in a short period of time, seems like in these days it’s the new thing for us hardworking men.
I have searched my heart, and God. I too was wondering if God had a plan for my life. God wrote the Bible for men like you and me to have a guidance on life. That being said, I opened my Bible and started to read from Genesis, and forward. These following scriptures really helped me with the famous question all people have: “Does God have a plan for my life?”
Titus 1:2, states God cannot lie. Then Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV) 11) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. And lastly Matthew 19:26 But Jesus said “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Meaning, my brother, God is in total Control of all things including your life right now.
I know it’s hard to understand why this is happening in your life right now, but remember that God is the almighty, and does not think like man. He is all knowing. He knows our past, present and future. When we get pushed into a wall we can only see a wall before us. We get scared, frustrated, depressed, and eventually start to doubt God. Well, my friend I’ve been there many times too.
One lesson I have learned through my trials in hoping and searching for answers, GOD IS IN TOTAL CONTROL. Please go to Dr. Charles Stanley’ website and order the book “God is in control.” [Editor’s Note: You can also order the book through the “Amazon Window” on the home page of Marriage Missions.] Man, this book helped me so much, and I strongly believe it can help you too and give you peace.
Also if I may add; In your statement above, you mentioned you are a Professional, highly educated, and have plenty of work experience. I want to ask you why don’t you get your own business in the profession you know so well? Could this be a message from God? Could this be reason why you are unsuccessful in your line of job?
Remember at the beginning of this response when I said I too have experienced the same results as you? I started my own business! Wow, what a piece of mind! and PEACE in heart and soul. God blessed me with a business that I can never be fired, laid off, let go, down sized, from because I am the sole owner!!!! Praise our Lord Jesus Christ! Amen.
I know at first it’ll be a challenge, especially with finances but ask God for help. And use the God given talent and brains to do so, (that’s your part). Jesus said, “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God” (Luke 18:27). And (Luke 17:6) The Lord answered,”If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘May you be uprooted and thrown into the sea,’ and it would obey you! Most important verse to me, is Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understandings, always acknowledge the Lord, and He’ll make your paths straight.”
I had to break it down for my understandings which I will share with you. 1) Trust in the Lord with all your heart – Well, simply do so, meaning no doubting when things go sideways; always have faith He will do good for you, and is doing for you for your own good. So accept what is happening to you right now because he loves you and me and we are his kids and he wants great things for us and understands what we need, as a man, husband, father, friend, mentor, and warrior!!!
(2) “Do not lean on your own understandings” – Try not dwell, figure out why, who, when, how come? this is the why me questions.. God knows we are men, we identify ourselves as “fixers.” When things are broken, we fix it and get it going again. When things go sideways, and we cannot fix it, we go bonkers! When we have no control of a situation and it makes us go bonkers even more and eventually disparity sets in and we start a downward spiral, which is not good for us men, protectors of our family. We need our strength to keep going no matter what are situations are and our wives, children are geared to look up to Daddy/Husband for guidance and protection.
So we need sleep and be healthy to be able to think to make what has happened and find a fix for it with God’s help. If we dwell in our circumstances we will get sick and cannot do the things that we are programed to be as God has intended. So basically, God doesn’t want us to figure our “why” this is happening to us right now, Because “Father” knows best. Give it to Jesus, give him your burdens and let it Go!
(3) Acknowledge his ways – Be thankful for all things he has blessed you with stop and look around you right now. See the things you have, roof over your head, food in the fridge, cabinet drawers, clothes, warm clothes, wife, kids, books, computer, yard to work in, toilet that works, etc.. so many things God has blessed you, us with?
I heard this saying ” Gratitude counteracts worry and stress. So Give thanks at all times to God for this blessings in your/my life.” Then I guarantee you will be humbled and thankful for John 3:16 Read this verse, and meditate on it, and you’ll see the true blessings of your life.
I hope and pray for all men of Christ who have read this and is seeking the Lord with all your strength, heart and soul. You will find an answer, as God promised “Knock and the door shall be opened.” Amen!
(USA) I am going through a storm right now. I just got fired from my job. I messed it up when I hit a low point in my life and used giftcards for personal use. I didn’t have any money for food and used the cards to buy lunch on several occassions. My wife couldn’t understand why I didn’t ask her for money but she forgot she said many times she would never give me money. I made a big mistake and have been seeking the Lord for wisdom.
I have been getting nothing but pure fire from my wife. I told her I need her love and comfort right now but I get the complete opposite. She has been dogging me out for stealing, losing my job, and our health insurance in the process. She is the primary bread winner in the family and has taken this time to tell me how bad I am and I need to humble myself. I have already asked God for forgiveness. I have been doing some inner healing as well. Despite what has happened at work, this situation has allowed me to grow closer to God. I just wish my wife would hug me or something to help me through this.
Mark, poor you! Are you still married? I hope things have gotten better for you!
I am the sole bread winner in my home. We are newly married and my husband has yet to hold down a job for longer than a month consectively. I’m getting weary in well doing. I love my husband and believe in him but I’m losing hope fast. I’m so tired of our financial struggle and each time he loses a job I feel some kind of way. I need prayer badly to continue to support and stand by him cause he really doesn’t know how I truly feel in the inside. I see so many things that he can do differently when it comes to working but I’m trying to stop fussing all the time and trust that God will speak to him his way and in His time. I need strength to wait on God. Please pray for us both through this.
Men, Many of us have lost our jobs over the last few years, especially those of us over 50. Most of us are not ready to retire, yet. But, it seems as if society is retiring us. I’d like to address the attitude issue. Think about it: when you are managing people at work, the people you want to be around and listen to are the ones with positive attitudes, and who are cheerful. Being out of work can really depress you, even make you physically slouch, and tuck that head in your shoulders, turtle-like, in your depression. Whom do you want to be around? A depressed, slouched-over, turtle-like, victim of the World? Or a happy, confident person?
Now, think about what it must be like to be God. If you are God, whom would you tend to listen to? The depressed complainer? The constant victim? Or, the cheerful, confident child of yours? You know the answer.
Now, think about what it must be like to be your wife. Does she want to be around someone who is constantly depressed, complaining, or is a victim of life? No, she married you because she saw you as confident and strong.
Now, think about what it must be like to be an employer. Does an employer want to hire someone who is always depressed, or is a victim of circumstances? No, he wants people working for him who are happy, confident in their abilities, and who take charge of circumstances, rather than being pushed around by them.
It’s tough to do this (I know! Over the past 12 years I have lost my job four times after my division was sold, and another 3 times because the employer could no longer afford to keep me.), but men are supposed to be tough: while you are right in the middle of this depressed time, looking for work, be confident, be happy, be courageous! When you are talking with God, be confident in His power, and be happy around Him. When you are around your wife and children, be confident and happy, not depressed. When you are in an interview with a potential employers, be confident and happy. Don’t slouch those shoulders, or tuck that head into your neck like a turtle. Stand straight, chest out, shoulders back and relaxed! Let confidence and happiness ooze out of you, and things will change sooner. Hope is the expectation of good things to come; be a bastion of hope. In life, good things happen to those who expect them to happen. While you are in the interview, expect that the employer will hire you, and, more often than not, he will.
For God’s sake, we are warriors. Let’s be confident and happy warriors, especially when life is trying to kick us down.
Superb post Mike! Spot on! I also find that establishing routine and timetabling my days helps me when I’m unemployed. Job search time is allocated, talk to agents time, exercise time, upskill time etc. Some items can be done at a cafe to get me out of the house and break the day up into segments. Social time at professional Meetup groups can help too especially since now a lot of hiring is done via these events.
Then I stick to it, which helps keeps me on track. Timetabling myself has shifted my attitude and negative feelings during unemployment. Don’t waste the excess time you have!
Mike, Thanks for your comment. I am a young lady from Vietnam and I am planning to marriage this year. I wish I will have a good marriage-life so I’d like to read everything I should know before marriage. I found that your comment is a good advice for me. Best wishes for you!
I lost my job as my husband is disabled. I called my pastor and she told me to leave him for a while and that I wouldn’t get a job until I did. Then she said to dust your feet off and leave –that I was going to lose everything, and don’t do that. She said that I had a good life before, and I’m a good person.
I was really confused but I know GOD would never tell you to leave your spouse because of losing your job. I believe that it was an attack of the devil. I no longer attend her church.
You are a smart woman, Phyllis. You are a good person in NOT leaving your disabled husband for a job. How heartless is that? God will supply. Ask God to show you how to take care of your husband and yet still have the income you need. You may need to find another line of work, but there IS a way… don’t doubt. Leaving that church sounds like a good idea. She may be a nice person, but her compassion for the disabled and her idea of what God would want within marriage is WAY off base. Pray for yourselves, and pray for her too. She needs it as much as you do. I’m proud of you for not taking her advice.