Where Did the Fun Go?

There are SO many serious issues that can grab at us within our married lives. As a result, all of the fun can sometimes get choked out. That’s what my husband Steve and I have found to be true in our lives. And we’re thinking it’s true in the lives of many, many other marriages, as well (if not all).

Sometimes things are going along smoothly. That’s when life appears to “be good.” It’s easy to smile through these times. But then there are other times when life gets real serious.

We happen to be going through one of those times right now. Our Pastor died; plus we’ve lost several other friends. Additionally, we have other close friends who are close to death, and others who are experiencing serious problems. This is a tough, tough time! Maybe you can relate. And if you can, you have our deepest sympathies.

FYI: We have this Insight available in Podcast form. To listen, just click on the Podcast button to the right.→

But through the years, we have learned NOT to allow tough times to overshadow our relationship. (And they definitely can do that!) We’ve learned that the tough times do not give us the excuse to forget to infuse fun into our marriage. And that’s what we have to do sometimes; we need to hook ourselves up for a “fun infusion.” It’s much like a blood transfusion, minus the needles.

We realize: “laughter is the closest distance between two people” (Victor Borge). That’s why we look for ways to laugh together.

Fun Leaves When Seriousness Enters

Looking back, we went through a time, a number of years ago, when we had a lot of serious things going on in our lives. There didn’t seem to be much to laugh about. Actually, we had a lot to cry about. Thank God (literally) we knew the Lord in a personal way. He helped us as we were grieving and trying to stand strong. But it wasn’t easy.

However, one day it occurred to us that we just couldn’t allow life to keep punching at us like that. We needed to put up some type of a fight—a fight to find ways to laugh together. It was important to level things out a bit. We knew we both needed that. We couldn’t change the circumstances, but we could change our outlook as we tackled them.

So, we started looking for ways to laugh together. Fortunately, we had some friends that helped us to do just that. They were only too happy to help us accomplish the mission of laughing together. Truly, this helped us SO much! Life took on a whole new brightness. Our problems didn’t immediately go away, but our outlook changed for the better. Plus, it helped us to pull closer to each other. When you laugh together, you feel closer to each other.

Since that time, we’ve made it our mission to make sure we infuse plenty of laughter into our marriage. We feel that God gave us that inspiration; and we are committed to sticking with it. Thank you Jesus for showing us the importance of laughter, even while we’re going through stormy situations!

So, to help you in the mission of finding ways to have fun together, below are 3 things (given by different bloggers) that can help you to do just that.

To Help You Infuse Fun in Your Marriage:

First:

“Let Go of the Little Things.

Are you mad at your spouse about something? It happens. But while minor irritations and annoyances may be unavoidable, the anger you feel after the fact doesn’t have to be.” (Brittany Ann, from her article, 10 Ways to Make Your Marriage Fun Again)

It may seem weird to think of doing this so we can have “fun” together. Plus, it’s a hard one to carry out sometimes. But it’s such a wise marriage tip. We’re told in the Bible, “The beginning of strife is like letting out water; so quit before the quarrel breaks out.” (Proverbs 17:13) We may think we’re justified in prolonging the matter that’s irritating us. But what’s the point? Will it help if we escalate the issue? If it will help your marriage, then go at it. But if it won’t, then drop it. Piling argument upon argument only makes mountains out of smaller molehills. In marriage, you’ll always find things to argue about. So, whenever you can, let go of the fight. And look for ways to better connect so your relationship has a chance to go to a better place.

It’s difficult to have fun with someone you’re arguing with continually. So, be proactive in letting go of the small stuff. (Actually, it’s all small stuff… or at least most of it is.) Let it go and then look for ways to connect and enjoy each other.

Now, this next one seems a bit more logical. And yet too often it’s neglected:

“Budget For Fun.

Just like some couples put aside money in the bank for paying bills, fun loving couples do the same by putting aside money for activities to participate in. I call it an investment for a happy life. But, remember having fun with your spouse doesn’t mean that extra money has to be spent. A few ideas for free fun activities are:

– Have a movie night at home.
– Play Strip Chess or Scrabble. [Remember, you’re married; this is allowed :)
– Go to the Park and enjoy nature walks and/or duck feeding.
– Build a fort with blankets and let your imagination go.
– Find a new recipe and cook the dish together. (Brela Delahoussaye, from her article, “Are You Having Fun in Your Marriage?”)

Lastly, For Fun:

“Watch Comedy Together.

“This is one of our favorite things to do together! We might go to a local comedy club, improv show, parody theater near us, or watch a special from one of our favorite comedians. We’re always discovering new local and celebrity comedians whose shows keep us laughing together! I’d suggest asking friends and family or your community on social media where to find the best comedy shows locally or specials you can watch on a streaming service or online.” (Amberly, from her article, 15 Ways to Have More Fun in Your Marriage)

We agree! This is one of our top choices in making our marriage a fun one. We LOVE to laugh. We look for ways to laugh all the time. It is one of the ways we add spice to our relationship. The Bible tells us “Laughter is good medicine.” And it is! It has healed our relationship so many times.

The point is not what we did; it’s the fact that we did it together, with the intention of laughing together. You may find entirely different things to laugh about. But whatever you do, find ways to laugh together. We HIGHLY recommend it!

Don’t Let Seriousness Take Over

So, please don’t allow all of the seriousness of life over-take you to the point where you forget to laugh together. We confess that sometimes we forget. So, this is your wake up call if you’ve allowed that to happen. Here’s your assignment (should you accept it). Look for ways to infuse laughter and fun into your life together, starting NOW. It’s important to note that today can be a new beginning. Be intentional. Keep in mind:

“Marriage should be enjoyed. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, ‘Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.‘ God declares that you can enjoy life with your spouse, even through the pain and challenges that life often brings. God did not give you your spouse to be the grind; He gave you your spouse to be a companion through the grind.” (Ted Cunningham, from his article, “Five Ways to Add Fun to Your Marriage”)

It’s true that life and marriage can’t all be about having fun (oh, how we wish it could be). But lets not forget to have any fun at all together.

On this subject, we found a GREAT article that we encourage you to read:

• FUN IN MARRIAGE?

And if you haven’t read it already, here’s another fun article. (Or maybe you’ve read it, but you want to revisit the laughs.) Just the same, we encourage you to read:

• CLOSING RELATIONAL DISTANCE THROUGH LAUGHTER

We pray you enjoy your week TOGETHER!

Cindy and Steve Wright

— ADDITIONALLY —

To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:

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