Why Women Leave Men – ALSO – Why Men Leave Women

Why - Letterpress - Dollar Photo - Women Leave MenHere are some of the reasons women leave men and then we’ll follow with some of the reasons men leave women:

  • “I hurt all the time because I feel alone and abandoned.”
  • “My husband is no longer my friend.”
  • “The only time he pays attention to me is when he wants sex.”
  • “He’s never there for me when I need him the most.”
  • “When he hurts my feelings he doesn’t apologize.”
  • “He lives his life as if we weren’t married; he rarely considers me.”
  • “We’re like ships passing in the night, he goes his way and I go mine.”
  • “My husband has become a stranger to me —I don’t even know who he is anymore.”
  • “He doesn’t show any interest in me or what I do.”

Women Leave Men for Various Reasons

Women appear to tend to be more concerned about the relationship aspect of marriage than men. They buy most of the books on marriage to try to improve them and initiate most marriage counseling. They often complain about their marriages to their closest friends; sometimes to anyone who will listen. And they also file for divorce twice as often as men.

Why do women seem so dissatisfied with marriage? What do they want from their husbands? What bothers them so much about marriage that most are willing to risk their families’ future to escape it? Why do women leave men?

Each day I’m confronted by women who are extremely frustrated with their marriages. They usually express no hope that their husbands will ever understand what it is that frustrates them, let alone change enough to solve the problem. From their perspective, marital problems are created by their husbands who do little or nothing to solve them. Wives tend to see themselves as the major force for resolving conflicts, and when they give up their effort, the marriage is usually over.

Expectations Out of Reach

When I talk to their husbands, they usually have a very different explanation as to why their wives feel the way they do. They often feel that the expectations of women in general and their wives in particular, have grown completely out of reach. These men, who feel that they’ve made a gigantic effort to be caring and sensitive to their wives, get no credit whatsoever for their sizable contribution to the family. They feel under enormous pressure to improve their financial support, improve the way they raise their children, and improve the way they treat their wives. Many men I see are emotionally exhausted and feel that for all their effort, they get nothing but criticism.

The simpler role of husbands in decades past has now been replaced by a much more complex and confusing role, especially in their relationship with their wives. Some conclude that women are born to complain and men must ignore it to survive. Others feel that women have come to expect so much of men that they’re impossible to please, so there’s no point in even trying. Very few men, these days, feel that they’ve learned to become the husbands that their wives have wanted, and the job seems to be getting more and more difficult.

Grounds for Divorce

Men’s perceived failure to satisfy their wives is punctuated by the fact that women file for divorce twice as often as men. In other words, their unhappiness with marriage often results in divorce. The most common reason women give for leaving their husbands is “mental cruelty.” When legal grounds for divorce are stated, about half report they’ve been emotionally abused. But the mental cruelty they describe is rarely the result of their husband’s efforts to drive them crazy. It’s usually husbands being indifferent, failing to communicate and demonstrating other forms of neglect.

Another reason for divorce reported almost as much as mental cruelty is “neglect” itself. These include both emotional abandonment and physical abandonment. Husbands that work away from the home, sometimes leaving their wives alone for weeks at a time, fall into this category.

Spousal Neglect

When all forms of spousal neglect are grouped together, we find that it’s far ahead of all the other reasons combined that women leave men. Surprisingly few women divorce because of physical abuse, infidelity, alcoholism, criminal behavior, fraud, or other serious grounds. In fact, I find myself bewildered by women in serious physical danger refusing to leave men that threaten their safety. Simply stated, women leave men when they’re neglected. Neglect accounts for almost all of the reasons women leave and divorce men.

I have little trouble convincing most men that verbal and physical abuse are legitimate reasons for their wives to leave. And there has been increasing social pressure on men lately to avoid hurting their wives physically and verbally, which makes my job even easier. But neglect is a much tougher sell, and it’s also much more difficult to overcome than abuse. While it’s the most important reason women leave men, it’s hard to convince men that it’s a legitimate reason, something they should avoid at all costs.


Some of the common complaints I hear from women is, “He ignores me except when he wants sex. My husband sits and watches television when he could be talking to me. He rarely calls me to see how I’m doing. He hurts my feelings and then never apologizes. Instead, he tells me I’m too sensitive.”

Most husbands are mystified by these complaints. They feel that their wives demand too much, and that most other women would be ecstatic if married to them. Their wives have become spoiled, take their efforts for granted and have unrealistic expectations.

Do women expect too much of their husbands or are men doing less for their wives than they should? I’ve proven to husbands over and over again that their wives usually don’t expect too much of them, and when they understand and respond to their wives’ frustration, the complaining ends and a terrific marriage begins.

Expect Effort

What’s more, their wives aren’t expecting more effort from them. Instead, they expect efforts in a different direction. It isn’t more difficult to please women these days; it simply requires a change in the priority of effort.

What are women looking for in men? They want a soul mate, someone they trust who’s there for them when they have a problem, who takes their feelings into account when decisions are being made. Someone to whom they feel emotionally connected.

I use a house as an illustration to help husbands understand how their wives feel. Each room in the house represents one of the husband’s roles in life. There’s a room for his job as a production manager, there’s another for golf, another for his new sports car, one for his garden, one for his children, one for church, and, yes, one for his wife.

Focused Attention

As he makes his way through an average day, he visits various rooms when he’s faced with the role the room defines. And when he’s in a certain room, the others are blocked out of his mind so that he can focus his undivided attention on the role he plays at the time. He does his best when he’s not faced with distractions, and prefers to deal with each problem with all his energy and creativity so that he does the best he can in each role he plays.

The wives of most men are only one of many rooms in this imaginary house. It represents the “husband” role. When they’re in that room, they usually try to give their wives undivided attention and make a special effort to meet their needs. They also go to that room to have their own needs met, particularly the need for sex.

What frustrates wives most is that they’re relegated to only one room in their husbands’ imaginary house instead of every room. In other words, they want to be integrated into a man’s entire life, not relegated to one corner. Without such integration, there can be no emotional bonding, uniting of the spirit, feeling of intimacy, and in many cases, no sex.

Stay Emotionally Connected

To help husbands learn to avoid this unpleasant outcome, I’ve tried to show them how to become and stay emotionally connected to their wives by inviting them into each room of their house. They learn to become more than the role of “husband” to their wives. They learn to integrate their wives into every aspect of their lives.

When I counsel a husband, I explain that he’s to invite his wife into each room of his house. Regardless of his role or responsibility, his wife should be considered in each decision he makes. Once the invitation is made, the results are startling!

When a husband invites his wife into each room of his house, she helps change his priorities. She reminds him that her feelings are very different from his. As a result, he begins to live his life in a way that’s compatible to her needs and values. He learns how to avoid habits that cause his wife to be unhappy, and he learns how to meet her most important emotional needs. He also learns how to give his undivided attention to her and schedule time to be alone with her.


To help men integrate their wives into each room, I’ve encouraged husbands to follow the Policy of Joint Agreement. NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT AN ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT BETWEEN YOU and YOUR SPOUSE.

This policy helps men take their wives’ feelings into account whenever they make a decision. They avoid thoughtless habits, learn to meet emotional needs with mutual enjoyment and resolve their conflicts. All of this creates marital compatibility and emotional bonding.

The word “anything” in the policy applies to all the activities of a husband that go on in each of his rooms. So whenever he follows it, he learns to think about his wife’s reaction to everything he learns to think about his wife’s reaction to everything he does, not just what goes on in the “husband” room.


Some argue that just an agreement would be a big help, why insist on enthusiastic agreement? It’s because I want couples to avoid agreements that are coerced or self-sacrificing. I want couples to learn how to come to agreements that take both of their interests into account at once. I’ve encouraged couples to continue to negotiate until they arrive at an enthusiastic agreement because they’re the ones that stand up to the test of time.

Most men complain that if they invite their wives into every room of their imaginary houses, their wives will take over completely and they’ll lose all their peace and freedom. They imagine their identities shriveling away and find themselves a shadow of their former selves. But the Policy of Joint Agreement prevents that unfortunate outcome. Joint agreement means that both husband and wife must be enthusiastic together, and no one risks losing their identity or subjecting themselves to slavery when they themselves must be enthusiastic about each decision. The goal is to become united in purpose and spirit, not to overpower or control each other.

How easy is it?

Couples that are already emotionally bonded have little or no trouble following this policy. They’ve already learned how to behave in sensitive and caring ways in each of their life’s roles. But emotionally distant couples have great difficulty with the policy at first. They’re accustomed to doing what they please regardless of its effect on each other, especially when they play certain roles. But if they follow the policy for even one day, they begin to see how their thoughtlessness has created emotional distance.

As couples apply the policy to each of their daily plans and activities, they begin to feel cared for by each other and are encouraged by each other’s thoughtfulness. Over time, their emotional binding becomes more and more firm, and the policy becomes easier and easier to follow as they become soul mates.

Think About Spouse

Men who follow the Policy of Joint Agreement think about their wives throughout the day. When they make decisions they ask themselves how their wives would feel. Phone calls are made whenever there’s doubt. As time passes, these men become increasingly sensitive to their wives’ feelings. If men consider their wives feelings in each decision they make, asking their wives when there’s any uncertainty, they create a compatible lifestyle.

The Policy of Joint Agreement helps create understanding, emotional bonding, intimacy and romantic love in marriage. Men that learn to take their wives feelings into account meet their most important emotional needs. They also learn to overcome the selfish habits that make their wives so unhappy, because these habits don’t meet the standard of mutual agreement. Over time, they experience what every couple hopes to create in marriage: A loving and compatible relationship.

A woman doesn’t leave the man who has invited her into every room of his house. That’s because she doesn’t stand outside the rooms of his house feeling like a stranger. She’s welcomed into his entire home as his cherished life partner.

This article was featured in the New Man Magazine (which is no longer being published). This magazine provided wisdom and encouragement to men from the approach of real masculinity and Christianity. Even though this was an American Magazine, it also provided international subscription services.

Dr Willard Harley, who is a well known author and speaker. He has a great web site that you may want to check out at marriagebuilders.com. It has a lot of very helpful articles plus a Discussion Forum that is also available for your use.

— ALSO —

Below is an article posted on the E-Harmony web site. We encourage you to read what they have posted, plus the comments they have posted below the article:


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119 responses to “Why Women Leave Men – ALSO – Why Men Leave Women

  1. My story: I worked full-time and supported the family by myself. My wife was happy to be able to raise our children at home. I did all of the laundry, 80% of the house cleaning, 50% of the cooking and 80% of the errands. Keep in mind I also support the family. My ex-wife just could not be happy. I put the kids to bed 99% of the time and changed 100% of the diapers when I was home. If I didn’t do those things, I was lazy. If I did them well, I was trying to make her look bad.

    After 14 years, I gave up trying to make her happy and focused on taking care of the kids and house. She soon moved out and filed for divorce. Boy was she surprised when the kids didn’t want anything to do with her. We are so much happier now that she’s gone, and have worked hard to completely cut her out of our lives. She is alone and miserable, flinging herself at any guy who will pay any attention. Good riddance. And I won’t be in a hurry to get into another relationship either.

  2. My husband has been more distant since I was diagnosed with Lupus. I am 43 and he is 47 years old. I had to quit my job over a year ago due to my symptoms and I don’t have an income. He got a higher paying job to support us. He works more than 40 hours a week, but he has done this before in our relationship without any issues between us. Now, he is emotionally distant, when I talk to him he says I talk too much and he generally does not want to be around me. I have tried to explain that I am lonely, not having any friends or family around and he says I ask too much if I want to hug or kiss. He really has no interest in sex ever, I have to initiate it. I am not looking for a divorce but I can’t handle being ignored emotionally and he will not go to therapy, I do not know what to do. Thank you, Renee’

    1. I think that your husband feels at this moment that he’s giving too much in terms of finances, if I am not mistaken. The financial burden is too much. Maybe thats why his behaviour is like this. I don’t know if you can do something to help support the finances. Maybe you can also invite someone to interview him on what is bothering him so you can understand why he behaves that way towards you. God bless you. I hope you resolve things hopefully with this advice. God bless you.

  3. I have been having problems similar to these for nearly 10 years of marriage. We have both been married before. I’m his fourth wife and he’s my third husband. Been to counseling 3 times in the first three years. The last time the counselor asked my husband if everything I said was true. He said yes and he asked him why he treats me like that. His response was, I don’t know. He then told me I front of him that in his experience men his age rarely change and I need to decide if I can live like this. That was five years ago.

    Yes, I stayed and despite his promise he would change, nothing has. He treats me like an outsider. His kids and grandkids get 100 percent of his love and attention. He is never there for me. No compassion when I’m hurting. He ignores me most of the time. I feel like he secretly wishes I was gone.

    1. I feel your pain. I’m treated like you have been in my marriage. I know how hard and hurtful it is; just want you to know there is someone that’s going thru exactly what you are, Nyla from Kansas

  4. Before I married my husband I was earning a lot. This was because I have three sons who were about to go to college. My husband knew that I have children and ge knows that I am bound to help them until they graduate. After we got married my husband decided to move to another place because he got tired of the commute. I have to resigned both my two jobs because he told me I can find a job to the place we were going. It took months before I got a job and it was not permanent and very low wage to start considering that I have 10 years experience to the job I applied for. Then again no job. Then I got hired for six months contract in a hospital where the city I came from and after that, no more job again.

    For two months he has been complaining about the bills to pay and some instances even when we are eating he mentions them. My son who hust arrived from my country doesn’t even want to eat anymore because how can he if he hears my husband complaining about everything. I feel so bad about my son; my son that I have not seen for almost 10 years because I am here abroad working for their future. Both of them graduated from college last April 2016 and we are just waiting for their documents (ID) to start working. Inside of me is emotionally battered. I don’t know what to do. I am helpless…..

  5. When my husband, who works away from home 4-5 days a week comes home for the weekend, he goes directly to his computer, slaps on his headset, logs into Teamspeak and his video game, and plays for 8-12 hours at a stretch, all weekend. His gaming buddies get to talk to him, but he’s cut off from me. We do go out to dinner at least once when he comes home, but he brings his tablet and reads the whole time. We’ve had sex three times in the past year. Twice because I was crying after he turned me down, and I hated it… I felt like it was shut-her-up sex, even though I had tried really hard to hide the fact that I was crying (I don’t ever want him to think I’m crying to manipulate him… I don’t do that).

    I don’t feel like we have much of a connection anymore, even though I try to engage him, try to talk to him about how this is making me feel. When we first got married, I would cook, we’d eat together, and then we’d put on music and he’d wash dishes and I’d dry, with lots of flirting and innuendoes in the process. Now, I cook, he doesn’t bother to come to the table. I eat by myself, put the food away, do the dishes and put in some ear plugs so I can at least read in our bedroom while he’s playing his very loud game.

    1. Marion, You need to wake up your husband somehow. He HAS to get the point that you won’t always settle for this disconnection. That’s not why you married him, and that’s not what he promised you before an audience of witnesses, including God, on your wedding day. This is not manipulation –this is fact. You have a voice… you need to use it. Yes, he’s tired. Yes, he needs some time to himself to play games and speak with friends, but you are his marriage partner. You should get the “best of” and the others should get the left overs, not the other way around.

      You don’t say anything about where each of you are spiritually, but since this is a Christian web site that you are visiting, I’ll tell you what I would do and you can pray about it and/or decide from there, if that would work for you. I would do a lot of praying before I would make my approach. I call it the “Queen Esther Approach.” If you recall, in the Bible, Queen Esther had a HUGE problem, which she needed to discuss with her husband. But she also knew that there was a right way, and a wrong way to approach him so the situation could be brought out into the light and taken care of. What you need are the right RESULTS — not to BE right.

      Queen Esther fasted and prepared her heart with God in prayer, and adjusted her countenance according to what God showed her so she could approach her husband the best way possible. God led her to be very respectful, cool and calm as she spoke. I truly believe, because she was bathed in prayer, He honored her by paving the way both before she approached her husband and then afterward as He spoke to her husband’s sense of reasoning. 

      But you need to realize that even if you use this approach, you may STILL not get the results you want –just as Queen Esther knew she was taking this risk. However, it would be better to do this God’s way than yours or mine. You have much more of a chance that you’ll get a better result.

      When I have a serious problem with my husband I spend time in prayer and ask the Lord to show me how and when to approach him in the way that has the potential to get the best results. Sometimes I say a quick prayer and listen, and then talk to my husband, other times I bathe the situation in prayer first before making a move. What God tells me may not be to approach my husband in a way that I think I should approach him — but more important than what I think, I want to do things the right and best way to get the right RESULTS — with God leading the way. Sometimes it has resulted in a “tough love” approach, other times I’ve approached him in softened ways. But it has always been in a meek way, which means “strength under control.” I’m not saying approaching him in a “weak way” — that wouldn’t work. I’m talking about a way that shows I mean business, but love is motivating what I’m saying.

      Another important point to consider as you approach your husband is to make sure that you don’t do it during a time when you should H.A.L.T. — which would be a time when either of you is Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. There’s more vulnerability to be less tolerant during those times. 

      As author Scott Stanley says about approaching during a vulnerable time, “A number of studies demonstrate that we tend to give people more benefit of the doubt [and grace] when we’re in a good mood and less benefit of the doubt when in a bad mood [or one of the above factors is in play]. If you’re in a bad mood, you’re more likely to perceive whatever your partner says or does more negatively, no matter how positive he or she is trying to be.”

      So, the point is, to ask God to help you to discern when would be the best time to talk with your husband. You may still get a negative reaction from him, but there’s less of a chance of it if you pick a better time to make your approach. If you aren’t a praying person, you’re on your own… but whatever way it is, I hope it works. Your husband’s approach to your marriage is no longer sustainable. You will eventually break down under the pressure of loneliness within your marriage. Your husband’s “input” into your marriage needs to go beyond just monetary and a bodily presence on weekends. Yes, that’s important and should be noted. But you didn’t marry a dollar bill, nor a “body” that you look at but don’t get to connect to. You married a man that you wanted to share your life with — a man you have loved and need to have a good connection with. Your home is not a stopping place for him for the weekend, but a home you both share, built on love. Make sure he knows that. Fight FOR your marriage. Don’t die inside quietly.

  6. I realized that I have googled the same search phrase more than once and been on this page more than once over the span of two years..perhaps its a sign.

  7. Please dont judge me… my situation is scaring me. I got with my husband while his wife was on holidays; we were all friends. He hid our relationship and me until she returned so he could tell her to her face. It was hard; he held me as he told his wife he loved her. Long story short, we remained together and married. I resented him but loved him! He called me horrible names and always put me down and was very selfish. Anyway I had an affair. Even though I still loved my husband I needed to feel wanted and worthy both physically and mentally. I never had emotional conection with the affair; I still loved my husband. We seperated and I tried everyday to explain and messaged him I loved him every day. A month later my husband called me and begged me to come back after he saw I had joined a dating site and he saw my photo.

    I came back and am still trying to fix our marriage. The problem I am having is after a week of me coming back my husband told me he had slept with and told 2 woman he loved them in our family home and beds. I love my husband but cant get this stuff out of my head, it hurts badly. I have told my husband we need a fresh start out of the environment and he keeps saying get over it, this is our home. I really don’t think he understands … I’m starting to feel I am insane and being unreasonable but everywhere I look I am reminded of his words and events that happened here … please help me, I do love my husband but at what cost to me.

  8. I left my husband a year ago; things had not been right for a long time, he always worked long hours but it became excessive and I had started my own business, so we didn’t have much time or energy. I went for counseling but my husband wouldn’t come, he said he didn’t want his faults discussed as he didn’t think he had any he thought he was doing enough. I dealt with all the parenting and the 2 difficult dogs. The puppy was constantly escaping I kept asking for the garden to be secured; I discussed my husband changing his job and asked him for more emotional support, eventually I stopped asking for anything … I completely shut down, didn’t feel loved or cared about but my husband told me 10 times a day he loved me. He wouldn’t speak to me unless I was having a bath then he would come and want to be with me when I was naked; his cuddles were hands on my breasts. My questions now are he was devastated and didn’t want me to leave etc. Yet 4 months after I left he left his job took 3 months of working, goes on holidays we could never have; got a new girlfriend. He is completely different. Is it my perception? Was it me? Did he really not love me? I even feel like he pushed me into leaving! When I tried talking to him about all these things he wouldn’t do anything; now he is all happy with his new life.

  9. I am married for 40 years.I am a active Christian and live it. My husband is a medical professional and I have done health sciences. He reads his bible but will turn around verbally abusing me, swearing at ‘my’ God, then verbally curse any family member of mine who died and who is still alive.

    He has a history of severe depression, was admitted prior to our relationship to a mental institution due to a failed suicide attempt. Several suicide attempts during our relationship on arguments when I cannot settle that he flirts openly with women, spending nights away from home. Several colleagues have commented on his flirtations. He comes from a difficult household, both parents were alcoholics and the children scattered with minimal contact with each other. I came from a close knit christian family, very supportive and loving. I married a man that does not engage in any conversation regarding household or during any arguments. Either he gets severe aggressive, and physical and verbal abuse me or he shuts off and leave the house.

    At work he is apparently the most famous person and all loves him, but at home he became a nasty person. He openly flirts with younger women, do pornography and set up private emails. I am not allowed at his work, and eg. during conferences I have to hide in the room or away, as he said ‘ he will tell me when I am allowed out’. He constantly tells me how people fear me, and how the children dread seeing me. I have a special bond with all my children and grandchildren, talking to them everyday and see them a few times a week. I do a lot of duties and favours for them, and none of these are apparent when I see them. I do not engage in any of these kind of conversations with them, trying for all these years to hid my pain of abuse.

    I myself have seen many psychologists, had All the personality tests done even IQ tests done to see how I can improve. I had NO whatsoever problems that any of these needed to work on. I have never been depressed in my life, maybe because my focus is on Jesus. I always have hope. BUT I am all of a sudden for the first time losing hope in this husband. His deeds, and words, his constant lies, and his criticisms, his negativity, his hate and bitterness and Unforgiveness has now finally killed all my spirits. He is getting worse by the day. All the years when he goes to work, I would accompany him to the car for a final hug and kiss…that was always acknowledged with a ‘bumpkins’, and hatred words that I cannot repeat. I stopped walking to the car with him…the pain is killing me…then not ONE phonecall during the day….I don’t know when he comes home or not; I don’t know what he is doing…. I just see him arrive. His food is always ready and dished up…as if he is a king.

    I keep this secret from all the kids and all the family….I keep praising him to all and they think he is wonderfull…..but in the meantime he is verbally cursing them behind their backs….even some of the children and the in laws. Help me please, I have lost all my hope. He would often want me to call him king, and said the only time he loves me is when I am sick or asleep. I am desperate for your opinion…Thank you.

    1. Dear Joane from AU, my opinion to you will be short but pretty blunt. Your husband is surely not behaving like a Christian, matter of fact he sounds like an abuser. You have been married to this man for 40 years which I guess makes you about 60 years old. You are at a point in your life where you have to ask yourself if that is a place that you want to stay for rest of your life or not. I know that God does not like divorce but he also does not like his children to be abused verbally and physically, he is a loving God who understands. Maybe it is time for you to move on and find peace, happiness and contentment on your own. Time is of essence the older we get.

    2. Please Joane, you might be able to hide this abuse from friends and family, but you cannot hide it from God. Yes, God hates divorce, but He does not place His seal of approval on this type of behavior either. Your poor husband is in need of help. I pray that God will place the proper people in his life that he will be receptive to for the spiritual and physcological help he needs. He is not receptive to your help but that does not mean your prayers aren’t powerful. No one is beyond God’s stretch but at the same time you do not need permission from anyone to remove yourself from such abuse.

      This is not normal behavior and with the history you have shared regarding his mental struggles, I would not risk staying in such a relationship as to the possibility of it getting worse from here. You seem like a very loving person, but it is my opinion that you are not helping him by covering his secrets but rather enabling him without you even realizing this. My prayer is that God will open your understanding to the situation and give you wisdom as how to handle it. Your husband telling you he loves you when sick or asleep is not love. They are merely words. True love is an action and he should be calling you his Queen while you are well and awake! Please Lord, do miracles in the lives of this entire family and protect them all from harm and give to Joane, a quickening in her spirit to her your voice and provide her with the confidence to act on your every prompting, in Jesus name, so be it,Amen.

  10. I think whenever a woman feels like going outside your home to look for someone else, they will always tell this husband they don’t behave as a married man; that the husband feels like he’s still a bachelor. My wife says many things in which I don’t intentionally walk away from home, I don’t feel satisfied with her sometimes when I am out of cash, I may need little help from her but she will start nagging. How do we need to address this issue?

  11. I am a newlywed, married December 2016. I am here trying to figure out what I did wrong. My husband works 2 jobs and I understand that’s a lot. I cater to him and the kids and do my role as a wife. He puts aside no time for me. His free time is spent sleeping and hanging with friends. The little time we are both up and in the same room, he’s on his phone or just not talking to me. I feel like I’m bothering him when I speak. He never has any advice for me or encouraging words. No hugs, no kisses no compliments. I show love but never get it shown back. I complain about it but decided to stop because nothing is changing. I’m always left out / he shares nothing with me. I’m very frustrated and borderline depressed. I feel very alone in this marriage. He even makes me doubt his love for me. How can you love someone and treat them like this. When I’m sad and or crying, he ignores me. My heart is hurting.

  12. I love how these articles always end up implying that women are the cause of everything. These men are worthless. Must’ve been a man who wrote this article.

  13. My husband was so mentally and physically abused as a child he quit high school and joined the ARMY in 1965. I knew him since kindergarten and knew how his parents treated all 9 children; his mother was 15 pregnant with #1; 16 with my husband; pregnant 17 times in 17 Years. All the siblings left home as soon as they were 16. I graduated from college had a great job engaged to and married the love of my life in November 1968. Steve returned from NAM in Sept 1968. We were both in his sister’s wedding. Steve was so drunk his friend drove him to my apartment and we had sex …my first time. How could I ever tell my Bill I was not a Virgin and thinking maybe I could be pregnant! Could not face Bill I gave my Mom his ring to give to his Mother I so loved Bill’s Mother and married Steve Jan 11th, 1969

    My DAD got Steve a job. I did get pregnant; we had a special needs daughter andSteve never held her. I was going to leave him when I found out I was pregnant again and lost a baby boy. I named him David…planned on leaving Steve again pregnant again had a healthy baby boy had to be named after him. My DAD got Steve a job with the city making good money but Steve always went gambling to Vegas with the guys. We were going to lose our house so I took all the money I had saved plus what my GRANDMOTHER had given us five sisters.

    We have been married 49 Years and have three wonderful children as our first is a special need child and now at 47yrs. old in a group home. I have never spoken ill about the kids father. I always wanted them to be excited to see him. Steve never talks to me anymore he is such a loner has NO FRIENDS…always plays games on his phone. If I ask him a guestion he points his finger in the air to hush me.