“Forbidden fruit makes bad jams.” That’s a short sentence that says a whole lot! Grabbing onto “forbidden fruit” brings with it many complications. Here at Marriage Missions, we receive hundreds of emails and comments each year that attest to the truth of that statement. Innocent hearts and lives are absolutely torn apart because of the bitterness THEY are forced to swallow, because of an unfaithful spouse.
Forbidden fruit is so very tempting —especially when your defenses are down because of discontent in your marriage. But it’s “forbidden” for a reason —some of them are evident right away, such as the fact that God says, “thou shalt not” and to “flee.” When you go against God’s ways, watch out! You’re literally playing with fire.
Other consequences are not as evident —at least not right away. As with the Featured Video, “David’s Dark Secret Addiction” and as it’s stated in my last blog, “Pornography —Hijacking the Brain” and all that is exposed in the “Pornography and Cybersex” topic, what sometimes seems to be “harmless” in the beginning, isn’t. There’s the excuse, “It’s just men being men and boys being boys.” But it isn’t so funny when the fire they played with, got out of control.
Other Forbidden Fruits
There are other types of “forbidden fruit,” which, once indulged in, burns innocent victims. My husband Steve and I have family members, which we’ve repeatedly cried with and mourned with. Their spouse decided to abandon their wedding vows and have taken up with others.
Children are truly the innocent victims in all of this as they watch their parents tear their homes and their lives apart. It’s all because one spouse didn’t have the strength of character to stay faithful. I have nieces and nephews that are emotionally scarred because of unfaithful parents.
In my own home, as a teenager, my father abandoned us to live with another woman for a period of time. I can’t even start to tell you what it did to my heart. It cause damage in my trust for men, and in the hearts of my three siblings.
I know deep in my soul, that the day my dad left, dragging my brother and I out to the car, as we were hanging onto his legs begging him not to leave, was the beginning of the end of my brother’s life. He was never the same. Something broke within him. As a young teenager he began a life of trying to numb his emotions through alcohol and drugs. He and I talked about it repeatedly.
Several years ago he died because of the physical complications of this type of behavior. I will grieve for the rest of my life knowing that when my one parent made the choice to taste of “forbidden fruit” we will taste the bitterness of that choice for the rest of our lives. I GREATLY miss my brother.
Of course, this doesn’t happen in all families where unfaithfulness happens. But it did in mine and I know it happens in other homes, as well.
It’s not that we haven’t forgiven what was done to us, but there are natural consequences that are put into play. I’m talking about the way in which a “jam” occurs in the natural flow of family life and how the effects go on and on and on, beyond childhood.
In your tempting moments, please, please, please, look for ways of escape. And then please take it. Not only are you doing the right thing for yourself, but for others around you. We are not islands unto ourselves. Cheating has a way of spreading its evilness into other lives, as well.
PRESERVE your integrity and look for other healthy ways to express the love you feel you have inside that needs attention. Flee, run, and guard your heart. Look for healthier ways to work out the discontent you may feel in your marriage (if that is the case). Live your life as a person of integrity, rather than one who gives into momentary passions.
“When we do wrong, we set in motion a cycle of complications” (Chuck Swindoll).
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
More from Marriage Missions
Filed under: Marriage Blog