How many times have you wished for a “do-over?” I’ve sure wished for my share (perhaps a thousand times and counting). And sometimes I’ve been able to have one here and there, but many times not. That’s when I’ve wished with everything in me that I could have another chance.
We received an email from a man a while ago that is praying for one. And how we hope and pray he receives it. Over and over again we receive these types of messages from spouses wishing that they had acted differently than they had, and now their spouse won’t let them have another chance. How tremendously sad to be in that place!
Here’s what this man wrote:
Wishing for Another Chance:
“I’m sure you hear from men like myself all the time. My wife and I are currently separated (married since 2007) and I believe I’m totally at fault. I was never a caring loving husband throughout our relationship and marriage. I just didn’t know how to express my feelings or show love like that.
It was also me who left as well, after my wife wrote me a letter stating that she didn’t feel like I was into our marriage. My pride and ego told me that I would be okay by myself. So FOOLISH!! I truly was blinded by my own selfishness and ego.
“3 months after I left it hit me in the face that what I was doing was totally incorrect. I went to a random church and they were preaching on Ephesians 5:22-33. It was just for me. I truly wish I had opened my Bible and listened to GOD on how I should have been treating my wife all this time.
“Now she wants nothing more to do with me, and she used to love me soooo much. It pains me dearly to think of the hurt and anguish I caused her. Please, I ask for your prayers. Please pray for my wife, myself, and our marriage. I want nothing more than one last chance to be the head of our household, to be the man and husband GOD created me to be. I know nothing is impossible for GOD and that marriage is His creation. But there are times when I just don’t know… this truly has been the hardest time in my life. I miss my wife dearly and her indifference to me, and lack of communication is like a dagger in my heart, which I feel I put there myself.
“Thank you for reading my message and for any prayer and advice you may have for me. GOD Bless you, your family and ministry.”
How we pray that God will minister to both of their hearts and hope this dead marriage will be resurrected! Please join us in praying for him and his wife and that he will get another chance to prove to his wife that he can be a changed man —the husband she has needed. And pray that God helps him to follow through and make the necessary life changes.
As I was reading this man’s email, I thought back to a time when I received a do-over. I thank God that I did (even though I wasn’t a Christian at the time). Life sure would have been different!
I remember well over 40 years ago before Steve and I were married, when we were going together, I almost lost any chance of ever being with him again. Steve and I had been involved for a long time in college (over 2 years) and I was taking him for granted. Like a jerk, I knew I loved him but I still wanted to date others. I was honest and told him so. He couldn’t stand it and got up the courage to break it off with me.
An Ah Ha Moment
I was sad, but I thought I’d be okay. Well, several days later I realized that I was totally wrong. I wasn’t doing okay… not at all. Steve was the one I wanted and no one else mattered any longer. I experienced a real “Ah Aa” moment where I woke up and knew I needed to change my actions because my heart was now changed.
At that point however, Steve completely closed the door to me. I was devastated. I realized that I could have lost the love of my life. And I almost did. It took a long while before Steve finally opened his heart back up to me and accepted me back into his life to give me another chance.
From that moment on, I never even thought of dating another. We became engaged, married a few months afterward and now 46+ years later, I can’t thank God enough that Steve took another chance on me and gave me a do-over. I can’t imagine not being Steve’s wife. I cherish him as the love of my life (behind the Lord, of course).
Wants a Do-Over
I hope for and pray for this man —that he has the opportunity to show his wife that he will cherish her for the rest of their lives.
If you are taking your marriage partner for granted, please know that “each day can be a new beginning.” Don’t keep thinking you can be a jerk, and act in ways you shouldn’t and you will always be given another opportunity to make it right. It may be that you won’t be given that grace.
TODAY is the day appointed to start acting in the loving ways you should —to reveal and reflect the heart of Christ in how you live with your spouse. Don’t let this man’s testimony be yours. There may not be a good ending. It’s difficult to tell.
And please pray for this man and the many other men and women who visit this web site and reach out to us, expressing regrets, asking for help. They/we sure need your prayer support.
“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
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Filed under: Marriage Blog
2 responses to “Wishing For Another Chance”
This is me :( Neither my husband nor I treated each other nicely and he had enough and left. I own what I did and knew all along that God wanted me to be the one to make the change. Be the kind answer to a harsh word. To be Christ like. Not only has he left me and the children, he won’t consider giving me another chance. He says I’ll just go back to the way I was before.
I know I won’t. I feel the change in my heart that I asked God for. I’ve prayed and pleaded with God to let me show Him and my husband how different I am. I have to because I also need to be a better Christian example as well. My husband has fallen away from God. He doesn’t even think God has a problem with this divorce and He will forgive him. This isn’t the same guy I married. His beliefs have slipped and I wonder how different he would be if I had been a better example. I want to show him how much I have changed and be the reason he changes too.
My wife has filed for divorce and she is head strong to obtain one. When we moved to our beach in California, I became depressed and lied to her about getting help for my issues of depression that turned into drinking and at times arguing with each other. She asked me to leave the day before my birthday 2021.
I lived on the beach for a while, then a third rate hotel full of drug dealers. When she asked for a divorce I nearly committed suicide. I left and went back to Indiana and have been trying to get a second chance. I have cleaned up my act; I do not drink anymore and I am finishing school.
Mentally, I am back to myself, but she does not believe me still. We talked two days ago and I told her I did not want a divorce and I was standing for our marriage. She told me that she wants to be alone and doesn’t trust anyone due to issues from her childhood. She told me I hurt her because I didn’t get help. I apologized, she excepted it, but still, she said I have changed and she feels I have. There is no trust!
What do I do? Please help; I have prayed, talked with my pastor, and seen a psychiatrist about this issue. I just need to know what should I do next. Giving up is not one!