This [article] will discuss the four major needs of a woman and the ways they are met. A woman’s four basic needs are security, affection, open communication, and leadership. Because security is the most basic need, we will discuss that first.
Security is More Than Finances
Although security is a very broad term and general in meaning, nevertheless, it is a woman’s greatest need. Whether a woman is growing up with her parents or living with her husband, she has the genuine need to be secure. A woman needs to know she is safe and well provided for in every aspect.
A wife’s basic need for security is satisfied by adequate protection and provision given by God through her husband. The husband must communicate four things to his wife to satisfy her need for security.
1. He Must Communicate That He Cares for His Wife Above Anyone or Anything Except God.
When a woman senses her husband is preoccupied or detached from her in some way, she will immediately feel insecure. She wants to know her husband is tuned in to her needs and concerns. A woman can discern instinctively if her husband truly is caring for her properly.
The best way a husband can determine if he is caring for his wife properly is simply to ask her, “Honey, do you feel like I’m caring for you properly? Do you feel provided for and protected?”
If she says yes, he can know he is meeting her needs, but if she says no, then he should listen carefully as she explains why not. Most men are not preoccupied with trying to “get my wife off my back” and keep her from demanding too much, rather than being totally committed to meeting her needs, regardless of the cost.
Feeling Cared For Is Important
A woman learns to recognize when a man is not really committed to caring for her. Her situation is similar to the man who has a selfish and greedy boss. All men want to get the most they can out of employment, and their employer holds the keys. If they work for a selfless and generous employer, they feel secure and optimistic. If they have a boss who is distracted, overly demanding, or selfish, they lose a sense of security and joy.
She’s Sensitive to Your Actions
Your wife’s well-being and prosperity are greatly dependent upon you. She is very sensitive to your actions and attitudes for good reason. You need to understand and accept this. Consider what it would be like for a sensitive, caring employer to come up to you tomorrow and say, “You know, I’ve really been thinking about your lately. I wonder if there is anything I can provide for you to make your job more enjoyable. Also, am I paying you enough?”
That would be any employed person’s dream. Well, every woman’s dream is to have a husband who will manifest this same attitude. Regularly communicate to your wife that you are available and desire to meet her needs. Then, care for her. You will be pleasantly surprised by how well your wife responds to her new atmosphere of security.
A Man’s Fears
A man often fears what his wife will do when he makes himself totally available to meet her needs. That is the last thing to fear. You simply cannot imagine what a woman will do for her man if he will envelope her in an atmosphere of total security by laying down his selfish ways to meet her needs.
Again, think about your employer. Wouldn’t you do more and sacrifice more for a boss who served you and cared for you sacrificially? Or do you think you would lounge around the workplace while ordering your boss around and abusing him?
Simply because you have become humble and have committed yourself to meeting your wife’s needs doesn’t mean you lose your authority or manhood. True and lasting authority is built, not broken, upon the foundation of sacrificial servanthood. It is leadership by example, not ego.
2. A Husband Must Communicate His Admiration and Love for His Wife.
A woman can never hear too often how pretty she is or how much her husband loves her. A woman blossoms fully in an atmosphere of praise and adoration, but she wilts and dies in the presence of perpetual silence or criticism.
Although a man must speak at times some words of correction or displeasure to his wife, these words must come from a source the woman knows is supportive and friendly. When you praise your wife and convince her of your love in real ways, you have then earned the right to also correct her. However, if all you do is point out her flaws and bad point, your wife will become insecure and bitter.
MARRIAGE MISSIONS SUPPORTIVE NOTE: We can help you a bit with this. Below is a link to affirming words you can say to your wife. Just make sure they apply! Also, elaborate a bit on the point you are making. So, if you struggle to find just the right words to say to your wife here’s a pretty good list to start with:
• 102 WORDS OF AFFIRMATION EVERY WIFE WANTS TO HEAR
Every woman is the reflection of her husband.
Women reflect in their faces, attitudes and appearances how they feel about their husbands and their environments. When a man creates an atmosphere of praise and respect for his wife, it makes a noticeable difference in everything she does. She radiates and reflects love and respect from every area of her life.
When a man constantly criticizes his wife or makes her dig for shallow compliments, she will reflect her insecurity. Women naturally gravitate to people and places where they will receive compliments about themselves. Men do, also. For a woman to have to go outside her home to receive praise is an indictment on her husband. What often comes next is even more serious.
What Tempts
I (Jimmy) have counseled many married couples who have had affairs. Sometimes it is the man, and sometimes it is the woman. Although affairs are always sinful and devastating to a marriage, you need to understand what tempts a woman to have an affair. It isn’t sex. Women have affairs because they meet a man who will talk to them and make them feel special.
Compliments Are Important
Women are turned on by men who compliment them and make them feel good about themselves. The best insurance a husband can possibly have that his wife will never have an affair is an atmosphere of praise and encouragement that he creates in which she can live. If he will do this, his wife will be drawn to him, and she will not be hungry for love when someone else comes along offering compliments and affection.
If he does not, although she may not participate in an affair, her hunger for love will cause her to wrestle with unnecessary temptations and fantasies. Here are some simple rules for praising your wife:
Be sincere.
Say good things you really mean, and say them a lot.
Say something about every area of her life.
Do not just concentrate on physical things, although she needs you to physically affirm her often. Compliment her mind, her heart, her character, her motherhood, her cooking and so forth. Let her know that you are totally proud of her.
Never use sarcasm.
Never compliment your wife in a backhanded manner. It isn’t cute; it will damage her spirit. For example, don’t say, “Hey, you have a great body —under all that fat!”
Earn your words of correction.
For every one thing you correct or confront, give numerous compliments.
Praise your wife every day and never stop.
Send cards, flowers, love letters, anything that will communicate your love and respect.
3. A Husband Must Communicate His Faithfulness.
Whistling at pretty girls walking down the street is understandable for teenage boys, but it is inexcusable for a married man. Jesus said that if a man even looks upon a woman with desire for her in his heart, it is the same as adultery. Adultery is not simply a physical act; it is an attitude.
Many men have never slept with a woman outside of marriage; nevertheless, they may carry a spirit of unfaithfulness. Women can pick up on this immediately, and it makes them insecure. A man’s heart must remain faithful, not just when his wife is present, but also when she is absent. You need to communicate regularly to your wife that she is the only one you desire. You must convince her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you.
Don’t Compare
Unfaithfulness also is communicated by comparing your wife with other women. This is the kiss of death. Whenever you compare your wife’s anatomy, behavior, intelligence or cooking to those of another woman —especially your mother —you have made a big mistake. The only time to compare your wife with another woman is when you are complimenting her.
Another no-no is to habitually watch other women through magazines, television shows, movies or real life. Although you may think it is harmless, it isn’t. It’s the same as your wife looking at or talking about other men all of the time. It is dishonoring and sinful. In any relationship where one person is out of control in an area, the other person normally will compensate.
Porn Causes More Problems
Men want their wives to be sexually responsive. Did you know that a dirty movie or other pornographic material is the very worst thing to use in an attempt to make a woman sexually responsive? When a woman feels you are looking at other women or have other problems with unfaithfulness, she will instinctively withdraw from sex to compensate for your problem.
When you demonstrate sexual purity and restraint outside the bedroom, your wife can be free and responsive in the bedroom. Your purity will provide the security she needs to actually blossom.
Don’t Talk About Divorce
Also, a husband should never threaten to divorce his wife. Don’t even talk about divorce. Lose the word. Many married people discuss divorce as a threat to get the other spouse’s attention. The only one to profit from such threats is the devil. He loves divorce because it damages God’s creation so terribly. So, when divorce is even a remote possibility in your mind, the devil works overtime to make it a reality. Also, your wife will become insecure if you talk about it, especially if you use it to manipulate or scare her.
4. A Husband must Communicate His Dedication to Provide Financially.
Finances are one of the most important areas of security for a woman. A wife needs the assurance that her husband is committed to providing for her financially. A man communicates his commitment to provide financially in four ways:
Praying for God’s blessing and direction.
A woman is tremendously comforted to know her husband is praying and seeking God for financial direction and provision. It also is very helpful when a man leads his wife in prayer when financial pressure comes. If he will, he can avert many problems from occurring in their relationship as well as invoking God’s blessing and provision. The old saying, “The family who prays together stays together,” is true.
Aggressively seeking the best employment possible.
Although we know that God is our provider, it still is important to knock on doors and seek opportunities.
Being a hard and faithful worker.
A wife needs to know her husband is honest, faithful and hard-working. When a man is dishonest, lazy or changes jobs too often, he violates his wife and makes her insecure. Even if it means foregoing some income or benefits, a husband needs to be careful not to sacrifice his wife’s security. This is very important.
Being a wise money manager.
When a husband is a diligent steward of God’s money, his wife feels secure. This is not a license to be stingy or unreasonable tight with money but an opportunity for managing the money and paying the bills. It is extremely important to your wife for you to manage the family’s money and resources wisely.
This article comes from the book Marriage on the Rock: God’s Design for Your Dream Marriage
Filed under: For Married Men
(USA) Articles like the above are so depressing! I have always worked at convincing myself for 15 years that we have a good marriage, but when I read something like this, I just want to sit and cry. My husband can’t or won’t do hardly anything toward meeting my needs, so I put them on the back burner, over and over again. I try to be selfless and loving, but there are times when I think I cannot go on. Thanks to God, I have been able to get it together, time after time, and continue for 15 years. Sometimes my anger and hurt become to strong that I fall into depression, or I cry at the slightest provocation. But my strong relationship to my Heavenly Father and delving into His Word really helps!
When, we got married, I found that my husband had been going out with someone else right up until the time we got married. This woman even called a few days after we had gotten married, looking for him. She was shocked when I answered, just as I was shocked when she told me who she was. She had no idea he was getting married.
He would leave and come home late at night. I finally set my foot down and that stopped for the most part, but there have been incidents over the years since then. He doesn’t do that now, but only because he lives in constant pain from a back injury. For the first 5 years, I was sure he would leave me at any time. The insecurity was devastating.
I must say he was good at complimenting me. I had no doubt that he thought I was beautiful and he loved my figure, my face. We had great sex and we never fought. But over the last three years, he has pretty much stopped the compliments. He has become silent toward me in that respect. It hurts so bad and I absolutely long to hear him say the things he used to say.
He has never included me when it comes to his family. 2 or 3 times a year he decides to go spend time with his folks. If I can go along great, if not, too bad. The decision is not mutual, he decides. In fact, sometimes I find out about his plans by hearing him tell one of his siblings or his Dad on the phone. He’s happy to take me if I can get off work; otherwise he just leaves me dangling. You see, since his back injury in 2001, he has not been able to work a steady job, so I work and support the family and it is his duty to take the kids to and from school and babysit when they are out of school. So when he’s gone, I’m scrambling to find people who will do me the favor of transporting the kids.
He hardly goes to church at all and will not take the spiritual leadership at home. He lets our daughters see things on TV that I feel are detrimental. We have had discussions about it, but it goes on. He doesn’t even seem to notice. Sometimes I feel like he has replaced me with the television.
But, he is a really nice person. In spite of all his pain, he is not irritable or cranky for the most part. We converse a lot and that helps.
Over the last few months, I have been fighting a life and death battle with feelings that I have for a man at work. He looks at me the way my husband used to, devouring me with his chocolate eyes, and tells me what a pleasure it is to work with me. It has gone no further than that, because my belief system doesn’t even have room for such atrocities–unfaithfulness, adultery! No, I will not do such a thing, but the longings are endless and relentless, the fantasies constantly float through my mind, and the war inside is only calmed by heavy doses of God’s presence and His Word.
I keep finding all this material on the needs of a woman, but how to get them met in a legitimate way when your spouse can’t and won’t is a mystery. Only through God, I guess. Thanks for providing a sounding board.
(USA) I think it’s important to note that there must be allowances in differences of personality in all women.
My husband actually tells me he loves me and that I’m beautiful a lot (esp. when we were dating and the first few years of our marriage). However, he completely destroys that when he calls me names, curses me out when I’m calmly trying to have discussions or average conversations and profanes me or my spirituality.
Because he has a history of ongoing verbal abuse, him telling me he loves me or thinks I’m beautiful has absolutely zero credibility with me. None.
So I think it’s important, for any men reading this, that if you tell your wife you love her or that she’s beautiful a lot and she doesn’t seem to believe you, then it means you’ve (most likely) completely destroyed your credibility in some way or another, along the way.
I, personally, work out, wear nice clothes, have had female friends tell me I’m beautiful and catch guys looking at me from time to time so, generically, my oustide beauty isn’t even a question because it’s been confirmed by others. Because I work out and have a strong desire not to be fat or even slighly overweight, most women envy my build. And I envy most women the way their husbands seem to value them the way mine doesn’t.
What I really need is to hear my husband actually validate me as a person and my worth on the inside. I want to hear my worth as a person. Hearing him say he thinks I’m beautiful is actually an insult to me because it means nothing to me. It makes me feel like a piece of meat or a possession. I need to feel he values me, more, for who I am, than what I look like.
That’s not to say there aren’t more insecure (from a looks standpoint) people out there and those are the types of women who probably need to hear that. My point is that sometimes telling someone you value how they look, instead of who they are, is not enough. You need to do both. And you need to be believable.
If you lost your credibility, gain it back. That’s only done over time, not overnight. God bless.
This is a fantastic comment – and one that I will take to heart. I love my wife, tell her all the time but I what I was missing is that she needs verbal affirmation from me about her inside worth. The fact that she’s a fantastic mother to our children, that I know how intelligent she is, that I value her contributions to our family and to my life. More importantly that she feels that it’s coming from a credible husband…
Sometimes it’s hard for men I think. Im not sure why – but I’m trying to understand myself more so that I can understand and give my wife what she needs to be happy with our relationship and herself and our family.
For me – I feel like I have plenty of praise about my work ethics, my ability to succeed, my value to my company, how smart I am, etc. What I need, and most men I think, is reminders that we are desirable to our wife’s – that assuming we are reasonably fit (I am) that our wife’s find us attractive. It’s always hard as a man because we rarely get outside confirmation about our looks. Women don’t gawk at men as much as men notice women (at least visually) So if we don’t get it at home – it makes us feel like “less of a man”. Or worse – if women do notice us in public and we don’t get verbally (or physically) admired at home our minds start to wonder what’s going on.
Anyway – credibility is key. Something I now realize with help from your comment that I’ve ignored with my wife.
Thanks for the reality check.
No disrespect but you sound a bit vain. Saying your attractiveness has been confirmed by others etc.
(USA) OK, we’ve covered Security. What about affection, open communication and leadership???
(KENYA) Hi, I am married for one and a half months, am a career woman and so is my husband. The problem am facing is that my husband is so mean with his money. Once he pays the house rent he will not contribute anything in that month. Please help for I feel overburdened in this marriage, like I am the giver giver all the time. I don’t feel taken care of and special to my hubby. I feel so neglected. Thanks.
(USA) I AM WANTING VERY MUCH TO IMPROVE MY MARRIAGE. THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS. THEY HELP ME TO LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
(PHILIPPINES) I am not married but I learn a lot from your sharings. I can also share this with other married friends. Thanks, Juice
(USA) I feel for you women, my wife has gone through the same treatment you are going through, off and on for 15 years, last year she had a affair with a old high school boyfriend and it devastated me when I found out. We are still together but only by the grace that I was changing my behavior towards her before I found out. I have to say it is hard, I treat her much better and do the things you all say you need, however you hit it on the nail when you say I have no credibility. I see she wants to believe it, but I can tell she has doubts.
I do love my wife deeply and this was my wakeup call, and as long as she is faithful I will always love her. I only hope your husbands wake up. Just don’t make the mistake of having an affair, it does more damage then one knows. It’s a deal breaker and the trust never comes back… trust me, never. Talk to them, make them read things like this … I wish you all the best.
(USA) My husband is so mean, he used to curse at me and belittle me but now he thinks he is better because he doesn’t say mean things as much but he does meaner things. Controlling with money, asks for receipts when I go grocery shopping, took all the money out of our joint account and put it in his personal account so I have to ask him for money. No matter the increment he asks me what I need it for. He doesn’t talk to me or greet me nicely, he doesn’t compliment me, doesn’t say please or thank you to me but makes it a point to be exceptionally mannerable to others so I can see. He doesn’t care for me, he says things that devalue the comments I make and when I do something good he will say something about how well he does it. Its very manipulative. He does this so he can say I don’t say anything bad or mean to you, but by showing me up, or not acknowledging my efforts it makes me feel extremely small, insecure, unloved and depressed.
(USA) I read this and my heart really goes out to the women out there that struggle with a husband who doesn’t pull his weight. I hope one day I can find a woman who wants a dynamic relationship like some I have witnessed where both partners are willing to work hard to serve one another. My wife has no idea how much I would love to hear her say thanks, I appreciate you, you did a great job or just wrapping her arms around me and saying I love you.
I have been married for 17 years have 4 great kids and as soon as I finish nursing school will be getting a divorce. That’s in two weeks. Early in our marriage I was very romantic but my wife was not. I would leave notes, take her out and offer affection. I was so in love with her but many times my affection was rejected. As time wore on and praise and affection were offered and not reciprocated my tank ran out. That occurred about ten years ago. Since that time I have been repeatedly drug in front of our religious leaders and accused of just about everything. They set us up with counseling and I went to again to experience more criticism. I took the criticism because I know that I make mistakes. It’s interesting to note that when I stopped being affectionate I was also accused of causing all the problems in our home. So I wouldn’t have to listen to that anymore I got a second job or worked so much overtime I wasn’t around.
As mentioned above I am almost finished with nursing school. I worked a full time while I was doing this. To make it easy on our family budget I worked graveyard shift so my wife could work part-time during the day. When I get home from work I have to get 3 of my children ready for school and then I watch my youngest until she is ready to take a nap. I then go to sleep and am lucky to get 6 hours generally 4 to 5. At the end of my last school year my wife once again drug me to marriage counseling and the criticism began again. I am lucky that for the past 12 years I have worked in a field dominated by men. I say that because there are no women that could influence me to leave me wife. Now however I am moving to a field dominated by women and I am scared. I’m scared because I believe my marriage is a covenant between myself and God. Scared because some of the students I have got to now are women my same age. They can come to me and carry on a conversation. Several have asked me for help with school work or for small favors. Probably 5 or 6 times those same women have shown their appreciation by giving me a hug. You don’t know how good those hugs made me feel and that’s what scares me. Those women have made me feel emotionally in a way my wife has not for years.
My question is why? Why did my married life have to work out the way it did? Why couldn’t my wife reciprocate early in our marriage and help it grow to be a dynamic partnership? Why am I constantly criticized and demeaned? Why am I more like the older brother of the house rather than a husband and father? Why is she so willing to let something that could have been and should have so great become so worthless? How did I become the mechanic for our vehicles repairs, the contractor for home repairs and basement remodels, the finance guy for bills and vacations yet I am not worthy to be a partner, friend, lover, companion or even a husband? Why, why, why? I will never know until then I will be the doormat of my family only here to be stepped on.
You sir, sound like a woman! Seriously, wow! I am shocked at all the responses here and how much ABUSE both men and women will tolerate.
I think that everyone who is expecting these behaviours from their spouses better change their own selves first. YOU have to set the bar for respect, love, value, money, sex, fun, affection in short anything, and once it’s set you have to stick to the rules and value the good behavior and punish the bad. It’s really pretty simple.
I would never tolerate any of the types of situations discussed here. Please!!! You got to have respect for yourself first before you demand it from others. Stand up for yourself and transform YOU!!!
Ava, this is a beautiful thought process and great advice about setting the bar, but please remember that in unbalanced, abusive (or borderline abusive) relationships, it’s so much easier to put up with it. The victim doesn’t WANT to be victimized. Their abusers take that strength you speak of from them early on.
Victims start off with self respect and self-love but by the time an abuser has done his/her work on them, it’s hard to see that quality in themselves. It’s a slippery slope and not one easy to escape. Can you imagine putting your trust in and giving your all to someone who’s opinion you value and then they start to treat you like you’re not good enough? You’re not going to stop valuing their opinion, you’re going to believe them. Why? Because you already allowed yourself to believe them when they were treating you well.
I agree that self-respect is necessary, but that it’s not something that people just turn on/off. When there’s a lack of self-respect, you can almost guarantee that someone (either self or third party) has been working on that for some time. It’s extremely hard to get back.
Most people in abusive relationships, don’t even know they are being abused until it’s too late. Manipulation can be subtle.
People are supposed to enrich their partners lives. They are supposed to show love in ways that come across as comforting and self-less (maybe not to the extreme). A manipulator takes advantage of this aspect. What may seem normal to someone may be the abuser sinking their claws in, conditioning them to behave a certain way, until one day they make a demand similar to what the victim is used to doing, that seems unreasonable.
While I definitely agree with your comment, the tone just seems a bit like victim-shaming. Sorry if that was not your intent. I may just be reading it that way because of personal experience of hearing the same advice in a certain tone when I was struggling to get out of an abusive relationship.
But, I do want to add that everyone in an abusive relationship has said the same thing that “I would never tolerate any of…” But then we live and love and get caught with that one wolf in sheep’s clothing. If we’re lucky we get out or it gets better and it teaches us something. :)
I feel for you. I’m a hard-working lady who’s in a troublesome 15 and a half year marriage. It started out great. We shared, and loved. I used to model. I have my Masters degree, and I teach. I dedicated part of my life to teaching students. After my husband lost high paying job, he had to take a low-paying job. After eight years, he had an affair for two months with a 25 year old. I was only 30 then. I had him tell me that I was not giving him enough sex. I’ve lost respect for him ever since.
We’re still married. I’ve stayed due to the kids, and out of fear. I have a terminal illness. I’ve had it since 17. He knew this and still cheated. Also, I’ve been financially abused. He pays certain bills, and I do also. We have separate accounts. He did this after we were married five years. He said I spent too much money. He buys me nice things, helps out more, and has asked for forgiveness, but I don’t trust him. I wonder why some men start taking marriage for granted.
(USA) Some of the guys I know will convince a wife, that the husband is good at all those other things, but letting her have fun. It’s not the truth initially, but he takes the role of providing fun, and many times at his expense. It’s sad, but true and even one of my own brothers said “You’re a good dad and provider but not a good friend.”
I’m a great friend; I don’t like to kiss up to someone and sometimes I’m not going to enable realities that are going to get me in a lot of trouble, or make it harder to communicate, while an outsider can do this, because they don’t pay for it.
Some of these wives are confused with the constant bombardment saying that cheating is ok, nobody really gets hurt and it’s all a joke.
(USA) I have been married for 10 years and have begged my husband for attention. Sure we have a great sex life, but nothing else. I want a friend. I want to feel security. I am a professional woman, I cook dinner every night, I am a good mom, I am involved in church…..I am just tired of being invisible. I wonder what men expect these days…my husband NEVER considers my feelings. It is pretty much what he thinks I should feel like and quite honestly I am tired of it. I began flirting with other men last year and have been enjoying the attention. I am so angry with my husband that i had to go outside our union to get my interpersonal needs met. One day after having lunch with another man, that night my husband told me, “whatever it is you did today keep doing it.” Go Figure!
(USA) Lilly, Not caring about your feelings is a bad sign. Sometimes we have our head stuck where the sun doesn’t shine because we cannot see outside of ourself. How to facilitate him to get to a point of view where he is concerned about how he affects you and your feelings is the question. I can imagine you tried to explain it to him, but he’s just not getting it or is showing that he cares.
(USA) Why are there more women replies than men?
(USA) Because guys like me tried this and ended up with an unhappy, unfaithful wife anyway. So no matter what we do, it will be wrong. You didn’t do it right, it’s our fault if she’s not happy, if she has an affair, and so forth. If she chooses to divorce, the church will treat her as a victim and her abandoned husband as some sort of perpetrator. So why even bother anymore?
Exactly, you know sometimes women ask for too much and when they are wrong it’s our fault: “we made them do it.” If only you had paid attention to ABC I wouldn’t have done so and so. But when we do the same we are just mere dogs.
Women should remember that we can not satisfy there needs no matter what — only God can. We are humans with limited time in a day, stress from work, uncertainities about the future, etc. All these have a way of impacting our social behaviour even with our women it’s not you don’t love the person, but it’s just hard sometimes to present it they way she’d want you to.
Most women today are spoiled with narcissism. They themselves are guided by the images of what they see on TV, magazines, their friends, they also compare material possessions which seems to take over their emotional states of what they call security. This is why so many men are nothing but stepping stones or have you ever heard the words well “I’ve just settled.” This implies that women are just using you until something better comes along no matter what you do.
If a rich or richer man comes along and tells her what she wants to here. Guess what? She is gone. A dependable vehicle is just that, it’s dependable but guess what an upscale status vehicle is what they really want for themselves. They do not care if you have to go out and work three jobs to keep her happy. Your health and feelings just do not matter any more. And you wonder why men are opting out of marriage today – its no wonder. Women in general need to get off of their high horse and self centered spoiled girl syndrome and mature some. Marriage is becoming an epidemic and I’m waiting on another cultural shift again.
What David from United States shares is mostly the Truth. The article above does sound very much like it’s written by a woman because the expectations stated within as to how a male partner must behave, is off the Richter scale. I’ve personally given to all of my long term relationships MORE than I ever received in return $$$ speaking PLUS affectionately. Security to ALL females first and foremost = $; even though they hold down ~ 50% of the Jobs.
What the Bible says about relationships does not apply in today’s unnatural (abnormal) environment. For a man to consider marrying regardless if she claims to be of Christ, comes with at least a 50% risk of divorce and, if a child is involved, the vast majority of cases see that child raised much more by the Mom than the father. THAT, more than any other facet of modern existence, has created more of the shear MESS the West is in than any other cause. Narcissism is at an all-time-high within the opposite gender yet the media, and feminists blame men for not Manning Up? Churches and Politicians sit back and say nothing because they fear losing female congregation members and votes. The only way out of this mess is to live in a culture that is farrrrrrrr less technologically advanced where the physical attributes are needed and Government services are not. High Tech is destroying us. It’s no wonder many men are becoming a MGTOW (men going their own way) even though in their hearts they don’t wish to. It’s about surviving today with a minimum amount of damage financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
(US OF A.) Some of this is good. But the money part. Get real. Today in 2011. The way things are, only the G.D’s will go by this bit.
(BOTSWNA) This is quite an amazing, insightful discussion. I am searching for the recipes to make sure my marriage, especially our love life, stays on the road. We’ve been married for three years and we live further apart due to work. Its put a lot of strain on our marriage, to a point where I’ve felt out of it completely.
I stay in a rural area and have maintained my best behaviour ever since. I don’t feel I can boast but I have been doubting my wife as of late, because she likes parties. She just relocated and feels more private and independent and she was more sociable than before. We have a two year old son. I’ve thrown everything towards the marriage. Is she cheating? She has new male friends, visits new public sites and has less sexual activity.
Mostly she is strict, angry and all that but all of a sudden she is sweet. Do I have to be scared? She seems elusive somehow. She is hot and sexy and you would mistake her for a flirt. Help me.
(USA) Why doesn’t anyone address the fact that a woman needs to be able to create a home? A lot of my identity is wrapped up in this issue! Sincerely, extremely frustrated.