This [article] will discuss the four major needs of a woman and the ways they are met. A woman’s four basic needs are security, affection, open communication, and leadership. Because security is the most basic need, we will discuss that first.
Security is More Than Finances
Although security is a very broad term and general in meaning, nevertheless, it is a woman’s greatest need. Whether a woman is growing up with her parents or living with her husband, she has the genuine need to be secure. A woman needs to know she is safe and well provided for in every aspect.
A wife’s basic need for security is satisfied by adequate protection and provision given by God through her husband. The husband must communicate four things to his wife to satisfy her need for security.
1. He Must Communicate That He Cares for His Wife Above Anyone or Anything Except God.
When a woman senses her husband is preoccupied or detached from her in some way, she will immediately feel insecure. She wants to know her husband is tuned in to her needs and concerns. A woman can discern instinctively if her husband truly is caring for her properly.
The best way a husband can determine if he is caring for his wife properly is simply to ask her, “Honey, do you feel like I’m caring for you properly? Do you feel provided for and protected?”
If she says yes, he can know he is meeting her needs, but if she says no, then he should listen carefully as she explains why not. Most men are not preoccupied with trying to “get my wife off my back” and keep her from demanding too much, rather than being totally committed to meeting her needs, regardless of the cost.
Feeling Cared For Is Important
A woman learns to recognize when a man is not really committed to caring for her. Her situation is similar to the man who has a selfish and greedy boss. All men want to get the most they can out of employment, and their employer holds the keys. If they work for a selfless and generous employer, they feel secure and optimistic. If they have a boss who is distracted, overly demanding, or selfish, they lose a sense of security and joy.
She’s Sensitive to Your Actions
Your wife’s well-being and prosperity are greatly dependent upon you. She is very sensitive to your actions and attitudes for good reason. You need to understand and accept this. Consider what it would be like for a sensitive, caring employer to come up to you tomorrow and say, “You know, I’ve really been thinking about your lately. I wonder if there is anything I can provide for you to make your job more enjoyable. Also, am I paying you enough?”
That would be any employed person’s dream. Well, every woman’s dream is to have a husband who will manifest this same attitude. Regularly communicate to your wife that you are available and desire to meet her needs. Then, care for her. You will be pleasantly surprised by how well your wife responds to her new atmosphere of security.
A Man’s Fears
A man often fears what his wife will do when he makes himself totally available to meet her needs. That is the last thing to fear. You simply cannot imagine what a woman will do for her man if he will envelope her in an atmosphere of total security by laying down his selfish ways to meet her needs.
Again, think about your employer. Wouldn’t you do more and sacrifice more for a boss who served you and cared for you sacrificially? Or do you think you would lounge around the workplace while ordering your boss around and abusing him?
Simply because you have become humble and have committed yourself to meeting your wife’s needs doesn’t mean you lose your authority or manhood. True and lasting authority is built, not broken, upon the foundation of sacrificial servanthood. It is leadership by example, not ego.
2. A Husband Must Communicate His Admiration and Love for His Wife.
A woman can never hear too often how pretty she is or how much her husband loves her. A woman blossoms fully in an atmosphere of praise and adoration, but she wilts and dies in the presence of perpetual silence or criticism.
Although a man must speak at times some words of correction or displeasure to his wife, these words must come from a source the woman knows is supportive and friendly. When you praise your wife and convince her of your love in real ways, you have then earned the right to also correct her. However, if all you do is point out her flaws and bad point, your wife will become insecure and bitter.
MARRIAGE MISSIONS SUPPORTIVE NOTE: We can help you a bit with this. Below is a link to affirming words you can say to your wife. Just make sure they apply! Also, elaborate a bit on the point you are making. So, if you struggle to find just the right words to say to your wife here’s a pretty good list to start with:
• 102 WORDS OF AFFIRMATION EVERY WIFE WANTS TO HEAR
Every woman is the reflection of her husband.
Women reflect in their faces, attitudes and appearances how they feel about their husbands and their environments. When a man creates an atmosphere of praise and respect for his wife, it makes a noticeable difference in everything she does. She radiates and reflects love and respect from every area of her life.
When a man constantly criticizes his wife or makes her dig for shallow compliments, she will reflect her insecurity. Women naturally gravitate to people and places where they will receive compliments about themselves. Men do, also. For a woman to have to go outside her home to receive praise is an indictment on her husband. What often comes next is even more serious.
What Tempts
I (Jimmy) have counseled many married couples who have had affairs. Sometimes it is the man, and sometimes it is the woman. Although affairs are always sinful and devastating to a marriage, you need to understand what tempts a woman to have an affair. It isn’t sex. Women have affairs because they meet a man who will talk to them and make them feel special.
Compliments Are Important
Women are turned on by men who compliment them and make them feel good about themselves. The best insurance a husband can possibly have that his wife will never have an affair is an atmosphere of praise and encouragement that he creates in which she can live. If he will do this, his wife will be drawn to him, and she will not be hungry for love when someone else comes along offering compliments and affection.
If he does not, although she may not participate in an affair, her hunger for love will cause her to wrestle with unnecessary temptations and fantasies. Here are some simple rules for praising your wife:
Be sincere.
Say good things you really mean, and say them a lot.
Say something about every area of her life.
Do not just concentrate on physical things, although she needs you to physically affirm her often. Compliment her mind, her heart, her character, her motherhood, her cooking and so forth. Let her know that you are totally proud of her.
Never use sarcasm.
Never compliment your wife in a backhanded manner. It isn’t cute; it will damage her spirit. For example, don’t say, “Hey, you have a great body —under all that fat!”
Earn your words of correction.
For every one thing you correct or confront, give numerous compliments.
Praise your wife every day and never stop.
Send cards, flowers, love letters, anything that will communicate your love and respect.
3. A Husband Must Communicate His Faithfulness.
Whistling at pretty girls walking down the street is understandable for teenage boys, but it is inexcusable for a married man. Jesus said that if a man even looks upon a woman with desire for her in his heart, it is the same as adultery. Adultery is not simply a physical act; it is an attitude.
Many men have never slept with a woman outside of marriage; nevertheless, they may carry a spirit of unfaithfulness. Women can pick up on this immediately, and it makes them insecure. A man’s heart must remain faithful, not just when his wife is present, but also when she is absent. You need to communicate regularly to your wife that she is the only one you desire. You must convince her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you.
Don’t Compare
Unfaithfulness also is communicated by comparing your wife with other women. This is the kiss of death. Whenever you compare your wife’s anatomy, behavior, intelligence or cooking to those of another woman —especially your mother —you have made a big mistake. The only time to compare your wife with another woman is when you are complimenting her.
Another no-no is to habitually watch other women through magazines, television shows, movies or real life. Although you may think it is harmless, it isn’t. It’s the same as your wife looking at or talking about other men all of the time. It is dishonoring and sinful. In any relationship where one person is out of control in an area, the other person normally will compensate.
Porn Causes More Problems
Men want their wives to be sexually responsive. Did you know that a dirty movie or other pornographic material is the very worst thing to use in an attempt to make a woman sexually responsive? When a woman feels you are looking at other women or have other problems with unfaithfulness, she will instinctively withdraw from sex to compensate for your problem.
When you demonstrate sexual purity and restraint outside the bedroom, your wife can be free and responsive in the bedroom. Your purity will provide the security she needs to actually blossom.
Don’t Talk About Divorce
Also, a husband should never threaten to divorce his wife. Don’t even talk about divorce. Lose the word. Many married people discuss divorce as a threat to get the other spouse’s attention. The only one to profit from such threats is the devil. He loves divorce because it damages God’s creation so terribly. So, when divorce is even a remote possibility in your mind, the devil works overtime to make it a reality. Also, your wife will become insecure if you talk about it, especially if you use it to manipulate or scare her.
4. A Husband must Communicate His Dedication to Provide Financially.
Finances are one of the most important areas of security for a woman. A wife needs the assurance that her husband is committed to providing for her financially. A man communicates his commitment to provide financially in four ways:
Praying for God’s blessing and direction.
A woman is tremendously comforted to know her husband is praying and seeking God for financial direction and provision. It also is very helpful when a man leads his wife in prayer when financial pressure comes. If he will, he can avert many problems from occurring in their relationship as well as invoking God’s blessing and provision. The old saying, “The family who prays together stays together,” is true.
Aggressively seeking the best employment possible.
Although we know that God is our provider, it still is important to knock on doors and seek opportunities.
Being a hard and faithful worker.
A wife needs to know her husband is honest, faithful and hard-working. When a man is dishonest, lazy or changes jobs too often, he violates his wife and makes her insecure. Even if it means foregoing some income or benefits, a husband needs to be careful not to sacrifice his wife’s security. This is very important.
Being a wise money manager.
When a husband is a diligent steward of God’s money, his wife feels secure. This is not a license to be stingy or unreasonable tight with money but an opportunity for managing the money and paying the bills. It is extremely important to your wife for you to manage the family’s money and resources wisely.
This article comes from the book Marriage on the Rock: God’s Design for Your Dream Marriage
Filed under: For Married Men
This is a great article. It’s true that if you have the right woman on your hands she will be so kind and sweet and loving if her husband would only be a leader. Leadership doesn’t mean being a BIG MEANY & a BOSS. It means being a servant & leading by example. If I had a man treat me this way I would mirror his behavior one hundred and fifty percent. It’s sad though that many males aren’t comfortable with being super affectionate and caring toward their woman. They think it’s a sign of being weak. So sad but true. There are women who will take advantage of a nice, kind caring man. To rectify that issue…men need to try to balance their desires. Men are visual beings. They should try to be more internal when seeking a mate. Pumps and a tank top with cleavage may be appealing but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor on a mate. Try to find a beautiful and intelligently, caring woman who will be receptive to your kindness.
Women are visual also, I was left for a younger man.
I don’t believe you at all. It’s in women’s nature to rebel and disrespect a good man who treats her like gold. Women like you say “oh I’d totally do xyz if only my husband would do abcdefg” and then the husband does, and gets nothing in return. He gets taken for granted. At most, just suffer in silence in the hopes for a pat on the back.
You are preaching to a choir with those statements. I feel your pain!
My husband and I have been together over 30 years and we just keep drifting further apart. He used to be my best friend, the person I would lean on. Now I keep all my feelings and problems to myself. If I share with him he makes the problem worse or gets angry. Last year we took in his dad and I got volunteered to be with him. I had a part time job at the time, plus I do crafts. Then with all the conflict within his family his dad no longer lived here. I lost that job and have a difficult time getting one with a plate in my neck. Then if I do he complains about the hours or other things. Or if I work late on crafts because that’s when I feel most inspired he seems irritated.
He used to help me or let me know anything I did was ok. Now I feel everything I do is judged. Then if I address anything he’s doing, it becomes worse. Recently I’ve noticed him looking at other females. He says he can’t walk with his head down. I may be grasping and I wish I was. But I’ve known him since I was 11 and I know his looks I feel his emotions. The second I mention what happened or question him he instantly becomes furious. Anytime I try and tell him I’m upset or talk we’e in a fight. A fight that makes me more insecure. He will get hostile and says very mean things about me.
He constantly says how his life sucks, that he has to go to work then come home and clean, that all I do is stay in my room. That I’m not ever happy and I never have a good day. Which it’s hard to have a good day when you feel so empty and worthless inside. I’m at a loss of what to do. He keeps saying he’s sorry, then if I don’t accept it right away he’s blowing up again, saying mean things again. Short of letting him treat me however I don’t know if we can fix this. The worst part is our daughter has to go through this turmoil daily. I feel so lost and sad.
Michelle, My wife and I almost divorced a number of years ago. I was selfish, as was she. She was lazy, and I felt like I had to do everything around the house. She was critical and emotionally absent. As a result, I took interest in another woman and had something of an emotional affair. It never got physical, but it was definitely the wrong path. Finally, things got to the breaking point. But we knew that breaking up the family and trying to start over in separate homes was going to be the hardest course of action, so we decided it was easier to talk to someone and try to fix what broke.
We made a deal that we would talk to someone and as long as the other person did their part, we both would. I would do what she needed me to, and she would do what I needed from her. Wow, am I glad we did! We talked to the families pastor at our church and attended the Marriage on the Rock. We LEARNED how to be married. It’s hard, but it’s so worth it! We went from almost hating each other to teaching others how to do it right. We are more in love today than even when we first met, and it’s because we learned how to put each other first. When you focus on the other’s needs, they tend to focus on yours. Sure we all fail sometimes, but when your situation is such that your needs are usually met, it’s much easier to accept the occasional shortfall.
I would say you need to have the conversation with him. Make the deal with him. Tell him you will do whatever he needs. Make him feel like it’s not all about you trying to fix him, and he will be more open to finding a win-win. That’s how men operate. I don’t know him or you personally, but in our experience in our church’s marriage ministry since our troubles several years ago (about 7), I have seen what you describe many times be overcome simply because the desire to take action was communicated the right way – then action is taken. Have faith and appeal to the masculine way he approaches situations. It won’t be easy, but short-term pain for long-term gain is a pretty good trade off, don’t you think?
Beautiful story! Thank you for the encouragement.
That’s unfortunate my sister. Living in such a relationship can be very painful and I could sense you have already gone through a lot of pain and suffering. You mentioned that you used to be great friends. Can you please take some time off your schedule and think back and see what made you great friends at the time? Look at the time and look at what is happening today. What are the gaps? After identifying the gaps, I suggest you invite your husband for a discussion. A discussion in which you affirm how great friends you were and the fact that you are emotionally apart now. Let him know the need to patch up. Listen to him in an non-judgmental way. Listen to each other and make amends. It takes a greater effort to deal with this but it surely works
You only covered security! Are you going to cover the other 3 needs, as well?
Thank you very much for marital guidelines that are more informative! I’ve learned a lot indeed!
Thank you for the article. It covered so many areas as far marriage is concerned, A woman needs a husband that will bring her closer. The more hostile her man is, the more she loses her trust for him.
The man also loses trust for a woman who takes him for granted when he does everything this article says.
This article really confirmed my feelings of the past few years. My spouse and I have been married for 18 years. He retired 7 years ago which put me in a predicament as I have had to continue working and now am not sure when I can retire. He does tell me he loves me and he works around the house. But, I feel often so despondent that he hasn’t done what needs to be done to get me retired with him. I had a large surgery last year and am having a hard time physically working. My job is very stressful and sometimes I resent that fact that he does not have to go through this. I talk to God about this all the time. I love my husband, but, would be so happy if he took the lead financially. I am blessed with a good profession and I know God has blessed me richly. As a woman, I think we all deep down inside want security more than anything. I know I do. God has blessed me to have security apart from my spouse. But, is that the way it should be?
You’re married to a beta. You will never be happy with him.
So, what does the man get out of all of this? I got less than nothing for being like this–many times. My experience contradicts a good deal of what was said here–usually that if you hand yourself over as prescribed, the woman will hold you in contempt, and go looking for someone better. She’ll think that you’re a complete pushover, and go looking for a challenge (e.g. another man for fun) because she “has” you whenever she needs you–you’ll always be around, so you’re no longer a challenge; you’re boring now, and she takes you completely for granted.
Life was good until I got married. Then, the woman expected everything, got everything, and I got less than nothing. Men: if you’re smart you will never marry. It’s a trap, devised so that women get what they want, and you lose everything–most of all you’re self-respect, sense of self-worth, not to mention your property and income. Have girlfriends, but the moment they bring up marriage, dump them and move on to the next one. Marriage is about economics: they want your money, they want your well-being, and they want your soul. Don’t be stupid. Don’t EVER get married!
I hear you dude – consider reading Corey Wayne’s “how to be a 3% man” and take back control of your manhood.
I’m sorry to hear that you have been mistreated. I disagree with you though, I have a very loving husband who does most of these things well. There is always room for improvement but our communication is open. I also make sure that I research what my man needs & try to give him all that he deserves. I have been with him since I was 19 and I’m now 29 with 2 beautiful kids.I love him with all of my heart and soul and want to do right by him, I’m certainly not perfect though. There is hope! Hopefully you find the right woman.
Sad but true; for many women, if a man makes himself vulnerable, she will lose respect and pull away from him at best, and/or manipulate him and exploit his kindness. Happens way more than even most women on this forum would like to believe; that’s why they keep spouting the same old tired advice of “be sensitive/caring/help out around the house more/be sensitive to her needs/moods etc. Sorry, heard it before. Stopped believing it after about the first 20 years.
Well said. Age 44 here. NO MARRIAGE. I’ve had many gf’s but have never been married. As you suggested, there is no way to win. You are nice, kind, and considerate, WOMEN will take advantage of this. Huge mistake to treat your woman as a Queen and yourself as a servant!
Women cannot be pleased for long. Their emotions change too often. Modern women have no respect for men, God or anything at all. Marriage in this day and age is the most dangerous thing you can do to yourself. The butterflies and tingles are natures way to make a man and woman come together to further the species. Nature does not care about a man’s nor a woman’s happiness. Nature only cares about the survival of the fittest, the individual is expendable as long as genes are passed on. Self realization is to understand this, go beyond nature, which is nothing but the animalistic system.
Romantic movies, lovey-dovey stories etc. are ways to ensure a man is kept in check, he keeps working, keeps producing for his masters like rich corporations, the rules, religious institutions and women. The self realized man lives either only for himself or only for God. He owes nothing to anyone, he depends on no one expect himself/God. For the last 43 years, NOT A SINGLE married man has ever said given a choice he would ever get married or at least married to the same person.
If you are intelligent and can think for yourself, you won’t get married.
“For the last 43 years, NOT A SINGLE married man has ever said, given a choice, he would ever get married or at least married to the same person.”
Brother, I might be misunderstanding what you are saying but I’m a married man. My wife and I have been married for almost 29 years, though the last 3.5 years have been tough. I can honestly say that I love being married, I love my wife, even in these hard years, and I would marry her all over again — and above anyone else if presented with that choice.
Perhaps marriage is so appealing to me because my wife has been such a kind, loving, supportive, faithful, long-suffering, cheerful, understanding, fun, God-fearing woman. (Extra bonus, she has a natural beauty that it seems God made just for me – I love that it was God Himself that described Ezekiel’s wife to Ezekiel as “the delight of your eyes”. God was totally fine with Ezekiel loving his wife’s beauty.)
Maybe that makes me the lucky one; the exception to your rule – but I don’t think so. What I have learned over the last 3.5 years, thanks to this website and a number of marriage books, is how beautiful marriage can really be when both partners truly do their best to serve each other, to be unselfish, to try and make the other’s life happier and easier and better. I long to try it out and do better than I did before, with my lack of understanding at what marriage can and should be. Praise God that there are people like Steve & Cindy Wright who reach out to teach us these things that we all need to know.
Of course I would stick with/remarry my wife because she is wonderful. But equally too because I want to do what I should have been doing, and have a deeper, happier, fun and more-connected relationship with her. Not just to make amends, but so both of us can enjoy the reat, true wonder of marriage.
Thanks you have helped me a lot about things I didn’t know how to please my wife. Thanks you so much!!! Keep up the good work!
Good article, lots of us guys come up short in something. Here is where I fail:
1. She’s Sensitive to Your Actions: we always have to be careful how we respond, what we say, set our projects aside to finish hers,
2. Every woman is the reflection of her husband: I am tired, we have moved and moved, built houses we have lived in, family drama, spread out family and grandchildren, no time for ourselves other than traveling to see family. This has worn my wife down.
3. A Husband Must Communicate His Faithfulness. I am faithful. But the wear and tear of life is taking a toll on our expression for love to each other.
4. A Husband must Communicate His Dedication to Provide Financially: my biggest failure. What I do for a living does not pay a lot of money. It used to, but as life goes on, companies cut back, pay ceilings change, no overtime, gotten older, applied for different jobs internally & externally; we have struggled financially, worse as we get older. You say do something else, I have tried and still try, but I am not exactly young. A company can hire someone younger, faster for less money.
A good marriage starts early, HAVE A SIMPLE LIFE, and keep it simple. When you have a complex life; big house, big yard, high stress job, big expensive toys, too many children, (yes I said it) it’s hard to downsize when you are in your 50’s and 60’s when you need less stress and enjoy life. Find a good job making good pay. College is good but not necessary. Try to look forward in your career path. Mine looked good. I was young, just married, looked like it would always be around, but the business has declined. Plus, now looking back, none of the co-workers were striving financially. Still are not. It’s my fault. It has caused a large strain on our marriage. Can’t afford nice trips, etc.
I read much literature about a wife-husband relationships and am a staunch Christian who relies on what the Bible teaches. I have a spouse who is not born again, raised in the family that has a different bible, portrays great narcissistic tendencies and discourages activities that are worthy. I am always on my knees praying for her. If I were to write a book, that book would reveal how hard it is to coexist with such a manipulative lover whose aim is to destroy only. God hates divorce and I should believe this must be so because I am yoked with a woman of unbalanced character filled with procrastination.
I have construed the modicum of truth about a woman’s four basic needs all of which to the best of my true faith in God I have committed myself to pray and lead her for positive change but to no avail. It is torture. The worst compliment my wife utters to me that has devastated and disgruntled me is the declarative negative statement of: I hate you, I don’t love you. . . and more such as neglecting me in a dejected manner. She uses all sorts of nudges to frustrate me. If I separate and remain single after twenty six years of marriage, God forbid, I wager to get relieved. I am still lurching about how to live a quality life in God’s decrees.
“Dedication to Provide Financially” this is a tough one as we guys get older. We work for a company for a long time & max out on our salaries while cost of living goes up. Not easy for a 50+ guy to change careers. Especially for more pay. Not all of us guys are engineers, doctors, attorneys. While wife has friends who are married to before mentioned. We can’t match these guys. We feel pressured to. We guys have to choose early our career paths. Some things we are good at does not pay a lot of money. This is my situation. Work has been steady, I do technology related work, I am good at it, but I maxed out on my salary years ago. Unfortunately my wife has to work also.
This is truly nourishment for the starving relationship. I love great literature and truth.
I believe Henry James’ words of advice regarding what is crucial for any successful relationship are the best: “First, to be kind; second, to be kind; third, to be kind.”
Unfortunately, I did not have a very kind ex husband. Sadly, it destroyed our marriage after over forty years.
By the way, I am a Christian and took all the advice from that arena.
Sometimes, God says, “You need to leave” becuase He is also still in the business of deliverance.
This is impossible in this world. Every woman’s dream is to have a real relationship where she is understood and most of her needs are met; but when a man is selfish and takes no interest in her, the things she likes and the things that make her smile, she will withdraw. I do agree with you that if a woman feels safe and secure with her man and that he respects and really loves her she will be free in the bedroom.
What about the selfish men who don’t talk or communitcate unless its about sex, or the man you have to ask the same thing like 5 times because he hears you but not responding or barely listening? How to handle the man that cannot have a God like conversation to resolve a problem but immediately goes to name calling and getting angry about everything…and does not allow you room to be angry or be yourself? Would you call this controlling?? Would you call it toxic? What about selfless service? What does a good woman deserve? I will tell you.
She deserves a man who will smile at her and make her feel special, a faithful good man, a man who loves God and not just say it but actually act on it and treat you like God wants him to treat you. How can a man ask for so much and give a woman hardly the things that cost no money? How do you trust an attention seeking person who always is looking and wants to be seen/ Every one has a past but what if their past is not rainbow colored…should they be judged because of it?
A lot of pressure is put on men. We all have hang ups or issues also but can not express them.
1. A man needs to be able to make his wife feel safe. But to the wife, don’t feel like he is smothering you. When you tell him that, he will pull away. Then you feel like he does not love you, then he shows you more attention, then you feel smothered, It is a endless cycle
2. Same as #1.
3. Yes, BOTH need to be and communicate faithfulness. Avoid situations, friends, influences, trips that may encourage otherwise. Husbands & wives need to do their part sexually to keep their spouses mind & heart and eyes at home. Plus keep looking good for your spouse.
4. Toughest one of all as we grow older. We see other men making more $$ than we do, unless we work 7 days a week. There goes family, spouse and church time. We think our job will provide, then comes hour or pay cuts, higher taxes, higher insurance costs, repairs, doctor visits, new meds we get on, helping aging parents, etc. Now we can not provide financially. That is the biggest pressure of them all, ask me how I know,,,,
Dude you have no skills. It’s not a woman’s job to change a man leads, do it right and she won’t feel smothered. That means freaking stop dude. You are smothering her and guess what? Makes her think you are a loser subconsciously.
I think you need to realise that a woman also needs to treat the man right too. Why on earth would a man do this if he gets nothing in return?
See my comment to Dr. Paul.
What’s wrong with communicating about sex? If you want to talk about something else then take the initiative. I can ot stand how women gaslight men by saying all we want is to have a cheap quick orgasm. Men want women’s hearts AND their bodies. Maybe you’re boring? Ever thought of that?
What does a man get for pouring out his heart, his money, and his time? I am guessing: dissatisfaction, rebellion, domineering, laziness, cheating, divorce, alimony, child-support, frustration, and suicide?
Hopefully not suicide, NO woman is worth a man taking his own life. There are plenty of fish in the sea; go get another one. One with better returns than the one you described. Luke 13:6-9.
Wow Friend! Luke 13:6-9 is truly godly wisdom shining a bright light in some of my darkest hours. For years I have nurtured, supported, cared for, exalted, remained faithful and penitent with my wife. While she has lied, cheated, emotional abused me, controlled, manipulated, and not contributed to our marriage in the slightest. This last year I have found a sense of deep and agonizing guilt in the fact she has not repented and I feel divorce is my only option. Being a Christian I have struggled to come to grips with the fact I may need to “cut her down” after nurturing her for so long and her “bearing no fruit.”
Paul, hate to agree with anything you said, but some of it is true. We guys work all day, (some wives do too) pour our hearts into our women, and they are unhappy or say they want space, or feel smothered.
This article is correct in conveying the amount of effort and bending over backwards that is needed by the man to keep her happy. Good job.
However, as someone who was married 15 years and realized the love was never reciprocated, when you decided to put a little less effort, you find yourself in court for 3 years seeking access to your own kids.
What’s worse is when you realize that decades of paying taxes to governments you realize as a man they are never on your side. Their purpose is to take from you and pay for single moms, welfare queens with 5 babies, immigrants and disabled people AND they take the side of your wife and you will lose. When you realize that, you decide to tell the generation of young men, that marriage is not worth it. Do not give them security. They don’t deserve it. They don’t deserve YOU.
I am interested in marriage mission.
Hi, Laron. what would you like to know about us?