“Romance”… what comes to mind when you hear that word? Is it candlelight dinners, midnight walks along a beach lit brightly by a full moon, snuggling in front of a roaring fireplace on a cold winter night, or maybe it’s just holding hands and walking and talking together without thinking about a care in the world!?!
I read a funny answer to that question in a Christianity Today article that one probably wouldn’t have expected. JoHannah Reardon wrote:
“One of the most romantic things my husband ever said to me was when I was puking my guts out after an airline flight. Feeling like the scum of the world, I apologized that I’d once again put a damper on our trip by getting airsick (for about the 3,000th time). His response? ‘You’re the bravest person I know.’ In that moment, I felt an ardent emotional attachment that was much greater than if he’d bought me 10 dozen roses and suitcases full of candy.” (From the article, “The Most Romantic Thing My Husband Ever Said to Me”)
That may sound weird, but actually, I agree. I’m not sure about “romantic” but it sure was heart-touching.
Whatever “Romance” looks like to you, as a married couple, it’s important to MAKE the time to keep it as a vital part of your lives together —otherwise your love relationship could eventually become stale and rusty and could even fall apart out of sheer neglect.
After all, part of what helped you to fall in love with each other in the first place was the romance you experienced with each other —doing fun things together and enjoying each other’s company. And yet after the wedding we forget that. We get so caught up in the busyness and inertia of every day living that we forget to “romance” each other throughout the marriage. That can be a HUGE mistake!
“Few couples expect to maintain the intense, supercharged, adolescent-style relationship that marked the height of their courtship. In fact, most couples feel somewhat relieved when life begins to settle into a more normal routine and they can get about the tasks of real life again. But many marriages settle down too much.
“Within a few short years the sparkle has faded completely. Feelings have become mere memories. Romance has become something to read about in cheap novels. Spouses relate like roommates who share an occasional one-night stand. And together they face future years of disappointment and frustration” (Bill Hybels, from the workbook, Marriage… Building Real Intimacy).
Does that sound like any of the marriages you know? Has this been true of your marriage? Is your marriage settling down a little too much? Is the “sparkle” leaving your relationship? Or maybe it left a long time ago.
Whatever the case may be we hope you will ask God to help you with the important mission of keeping (or re-igniting and THEN keeping) the “sparkle” in your marital relationship. God, whose very name means LOVE, is ready to teach you what it will take to TRULY love your spouse. And what better way to honor God than to show love to your spouse in a romantic way!
To further help you in this vital mission, we have a WONDERFUL tool to help you.
There is a web site which is put together by GTO Family Ministries (marriage.net) developed by Harold and Bette Gillogly, which helps couples “Grow Toward Oneness.” They offer many helpful resources for married couples through their ministry and on their web site (which we hope you’ll look into). Among them is a feature called: “Romantic Tips for Husbands” and “Romantic Tips for Wives.”
To receive the best benefit of what they offer we will take you directly to their web site to read the wonderful tips they supply. When you get to their web site just make the selection as to whether you want the Romantic Tips for Husbands or for Romantic Tips for Wives. (And then arrow back to our web site to return to Marriage Missions.)
Here’s the Marriages.net web site link to take you right to the fun stuff:
— ALSO —
From the ministry of LifeWay.com, the following are additional ideas for you to consider:
And then, the ministry of “The Romantic Vineyard” has some great tips for dates that you may be able to adapt to work for you and your spouse in your part of the world. Please read what they suggest, and see if there’s anything you can use in your marriage, or adapt in some way that will work for you:
The important thing is to do SOMETHING. Don’t “just settle” … find ways to infuse laughter and fun into your married life together. By doing this, you continually infuse new life into your relationship, and those good memories help to carry you together through the more difficult times. ENJOY your life together… romance each other!
This blog is written by Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.