Does your husband feel you love him? And does he feel romanced by you? Are you sure? Both are important to you and to him. Have you asked your husband about this lately? We’re asking you these questions because we’ve found the following to be true. And it may be true for your husband, as well:
“A husband considers romance to be one way and the wife considers it to be another. The wife may make many romantic gestures, which go unnoticed by her husband. That is because it wasn’t romantic to him. He didn’t feel the love in the same way it was given.
What is wrong? Are the gestures extended not romantic or thoughtful? No. Are the recipients ungrateful and self-absorbed? No. The wife is simply not romancing her husband in a way that is romantic to him!
“This is a great truth that once practiced is sure to produce lasting fruit. Study your spouse. Find out what romance means to him or her? It may surprise you! But if you do your homework you will become the master of what really turns your spouse on!” (Debi Walter, from The Romantic Vineyard)
Show Your Husband Love His Way, Rather Than What Makes Sense to You
So, we have a challenge for you! You may feel you do a good job of showing your husband that he is loved. But is it TRULY the way that he best feels loved? That’s what this challenge is all about. It will reveal what MOST speaks love to your husband.
So, to begin, we encourage and challenge you to look over the list below. And then make up a copy to share it with your husband. (Make sure you do this when you are alone together. Plus, make sure you do this at a time when he is not preoccupied with something else.)
And then discuss this list with your husband. Have him check the most meaningful suggestions listed below. He can then point out the ones that are most importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use the suggestions.
But keep in mind that these are ONLY SUGGESTIONS. Don’t feel pressured that you have to use all of them. But look at them as ways to bless and romance your husband.
(ALSO… there’s a list in the “Romantic Ideas” topic, which gives husbands 100 ideas. It is titled, 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way. So don’t feel slighted. Just share it with him.)
SUGGESTIONS on How to Show Love to Your Husband:
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know in big and small ways that he’s important to you.
3. Plus, purposefully try to listen to his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends, giving him some time with them (if they’re trust-worthy.)
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Make sure you tell him you love him AND that you like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. It’s important to protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
Other Suggestions:
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion. And then give him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems. Have FUN!
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of continually focusing on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Ease into the negatives when he first gets home.
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Look for things you can compliment about your husband. Show your appreciation often.
More Ways to Show Love:
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals to achieve together as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
Other Ideas:
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings.
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is.
36. Talk in loving, not in nagging or belittling ways.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
Remember, all of these “ways to love” are only suggestions:
41. Take special notice of what he does for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people in front of him and when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ in private when necessary).
46. “Look into your husband’s eyes when he talks to you. This makes him feel that you’re interested.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, and pray with him to start your day together.
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
Plus, here are More Suggestions of Ways to Show Love:
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time and space to recover.
52. You can bless him by helping him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of your own habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he has done around the house. We all want to feel appreciated.
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do these things as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him. This may include letting him sleep in, bringing him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
Want more suggestions? Read on…
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs (as long as they do not violate God’s ways).
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
More Suggestions to Consider:
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
Here are the Last 20 SUGGESTIONS… Keep Gleaning:
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
Other Suggestions:
91. Look your best—dress to honor and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in it’s related to business or other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem. They could be for a back scratch or a shoulder rub, etc.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.”
— ALSO —
In addition, below are links to other web site articles centering on this subject. We encourage you to glean through them, and apply what you believe will work for both of you:
• 50 IDEAS TO INSPIRE YOUR HUSBAND
• 50 THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR HUSBAND TO MAKE HIM FEEL GREAT
Filed under: Romantic Ideas
(USA) Hello I just wanna say that I am young and had been married and I grew up being told you are to love your husband and do all you can to stay with him and make the most out of it. I stuck with my husband for 11 years and did all I could to be there for him. He always told me he had things he didn’t want me to know, but I learned a lot in 11 years. My husband at the time had drug problems and a drinking problem. I worked my butt off to try and keep things together, especially for our son.
My husband would take money for drugs and stay out all night without me. I spent a lot of times alone with our son. I cried so many nights and prayed to God in so many ways. I prayed God would show me the way through the mess I was in. I did the whole, “its my fault game and all.” I loved him so much and would try to see the good in him. I gave him so many chances (probably not enough in God’s eyes).
I got to a point when he took close to 3 grand from me. We had even been going to church for some time and went to Bible study. He played me for his drug problem. I soon got a divorce a couple years down the road and we are great friends and I had moved on and so did he. He is doing good as far as I see cause he takes his son every other weekend.
I prayed for his friendship and forgiveness and he gave it. I FORGAVE HIM. I tried to do a lot on that list but from my heart and sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to cause sometimes they weren’t meant to be. We sometimes go through things to learn from what we had done. So listen to your heart cause God is always talking. May God blesss you all and may he lead you in the right path of life. Amen. I am happy and am going to marry the first love of my life this year. God has blessed me in many ways.
(USA) I see a lot of good comments, but there are quite a bit of negative one’s, also. It seems there’s a lot of “what’s in it for me” mentalities. When we’re supposed to do unto other’s as we’d have them do unto us. No where is it mentioned that we are to expect anything in return. The self-centered, knee-jerk reactions of “what about me” is one of the main tools the enemy uses to destroy marriages. It’s an easy trap to get caught-up in.
This article is how we can contribute as wives to our marriage. We are only responsible for our behavior. We, as wives, need to do what’s right, regardless of what our husband’s do. No one is saying that women are less-than. I’m sure there are plenty of articles that encourage men on how to be better husbands. So many people aren’t obedient to the Word; therefore becoming rebellious. We need to be solid, Godly women. Our husband’s will be accountable for their behavior and contributions to the marriage. If you speak negative over your marriage, don’t expect to be happy.
As previously mentioned, do as unto the Lord. If anything, He will bless you and be everything that you need in your husband. If we get an attitude and are selfish, we will not be blessed and will curse our marriage.
(BOTSWANA) I want to briefly make a comment about the list that was provided as some kind of guide to us women in order to please our husbands. It is good indeed and I appreciate it a lot. I tend to envy some women who made comments regarding this because it shows that it does work for them. God have mercy! Some have tried and it blew back into their faces. They live in fear of being intimidated and called names.
My point goes back to the issue of abuse. Once abused, it is very difficult for a woman to truly come back to her real self. Some live in bondage or we can call it self pity or they’re helpless and cannot do a thing to please their partners. Other reasons are that the other party is in control of everything, such, that it makes it even more difficult to surprise him. He must know your whereabouts, so how do you plan anything without his consent? Whatever step you take, you need to explain in details why you want to do that. So, how do you please such a person? The best thing to do may be is to live like a traditional woman.
(NIGERIA) Going through these comments, I feel compelled to share my life experience. I’ve been married for almost 14 years now. By experience which they say is the best teacher, I KNOW THAT AFRICAN MEN LOVE RESPECT and WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A WOMAN WHO RESPECTS THEM!
I lost the man I really love because I wasn’t respecting him. I was young and naive, but he is the love of my life. He walked out on me (quietly though). I am very blessed and lucky to be married to a man who loves me so much, despite the fact that I don’t love him as much as I do the first man. It took me almost 10 years of marriage to start enjoying my home. The Lord told me “change is not about the other person, it’s about you.”
Sisters, it’s not that my husband turned into a saint, or that he has become “perfect.” But I feel love oozing out of my heart toward him now. I don’t dwell on his weaknesses, I concentrate on his strengths and show of love for me. When he gets me angry (quite often); I let him know my feelings and allow it to pass. Believe me, girls, it’s difficult. But when you set your heart to doing it, you’ll enjoy it!
As for my lover, (the one that walked out on me); we are best of friends. He still loves me; he agreed he walked out, has a wonderful family, and the two families relate very well with each other now. Sisters, please try respecting your husbands, loving them against all odds, and you’ll experience the kind of healing that the Lord gave my heart. God bless you all.
(USA) I’m an atheist and my husband agnostic, but we are working on a relationship like this and I love it. I do not do it because I am supposed to but because I want to. We have four children and I have A LOT on my plate.
I could spend an enormous amount of energy on fighting for power and control (even if it’s over something completely non-important or if I’m doing it without realizing) or I could bend to his will in time of disagreements to save the joy in our house.
I’m now free to focus on self control, bringing happiness to others, keeping a beautiful house (who doesn’t love to be surrounded by beauty?!), and other hobbies and passions. In order to keep a voice weekly discussions seem ideal to bring up any concerns (In a loving way) that seem to be repetitive.
Love and light.
(ENGLAND) That’s great to hear. I think many women are scared of their husbands cheating on them. Obviously a big part of it is having a man who is loyal, but it’s also about not giving him a reason to cheat on you in the first place.
It’s important to understand him, and what he wants in the relationship, getting to the root cause can definitely help keep the fire burning and help keep a sustainable and happy relationship.
(UNITED STATES OF AMERICA) Great help for me, using these ways have truly helped me in my relationship, he’s been more caring and has been noticing my needs more as well as I have been for him. The only thing we both don’t like is the religiousness of this.. Neither of us appriciate this to be spoken so strongly of. It offends athiests you know.
Dear Unknown, It is not our intention to “offend” anyone. However, when you come onto this web site it would appear obvious that this is a Christian web site. Along the top banner it says, Marriage Missions –“Revealing the Heart of Christ Within Marriage.” We make no apologies for our beliefs or for putting together a web site which “reveals the heart of Christ within marriage.”
If we forced our way into your home and began to preach Christ to you I could see where you could say WE offended you. But, when you come to this web site (your choice) and you say you found something helpful in your relationship with your husband -giving you positive results -it would be more accurate to say you decided you would “take offense,” even though it’s obvious that we speak so strongly about Christ and the power He has to help marriages. You visited this web site, we did not drag you here.
Christians have problems in marriages; atheists have problems; people of various walks of life have problems. It is a blessing to know know that this web site is helping people. But we won’t apologize for acknowledging that we believe God is at work through what He leads us to post onto this web site. We believe He cares about marriage even more than we do, and we stand unashamed to say so. -Steve Wright, Marriage Missions International
(USA) Wow Steve you hit the nail right on the head. I am so proud that you can take a stand in a loving yet stern manner. Thank you for what you and Cindy do. I thank God he is using you to shine his light on marriage. Christians, it seems, are no longer allowed to pray when and where we want, we can’t wear t-shirts that proclaim our faith, we cannot minister to anyone without having some kind of scrutiny from other walks of life. So I think it is awesome that you were able to approach this the way you did.
Unknown- As a Christ follower these principals are how God designed marrage to be and this is why it is so right. This is why it worked for you. You have a designer and he created everything including marriage. I understand you believe differently, but I do hope one day you search out of maybe out of curiosity and find Jesus’ love for you and your husband. I understand many things about “religion” or Christianity may have turned you off or offended you, but that doesnt stop it from being the truth. I am sorry if you have ever been wronged by a Christ follower but just know it isn’t about rules and regulations, it’s about Grace, Faith, and God’s love for you and your husband. You are accountable for the things done on this earth but you are forgiven once you’ve accepted Christ as your savior. It is as easy as accepting a free gift. God Bless you!
(AUSTRALIA) Dear unknown, As an atheist myself, I find your intolerance of others’ beliefs insulting and embarrassing. You chose to enter this site. It offers sound advice in a friendly and loving atmosphere. No one has judged you for your beliefs or lack thereof; what gives you the right to judge others who, by your own account, have made a positive impact on your life? From a tolerant atheist.
(USA) I have been asking for romance for four years now in my marriage. I just don’t say anything anymore. He expect sex and for me to do so much. I’m starting to question a lot. I feel like I’ve given up wanting my needs but of course he still wants his need met “sex”. I feel like so much pressure is on me to be this and that but what do I get in return? I honestly don’t feel pretty or attractive anymore. I feel
Used. What’s the point sometimes. His eyes wander at other girls but You can’t tell me I’m pretty or give a little romance. Romance is what sets the mood. Sometimes I feel uncared for and I rather not say anything because I am expected to sit back and smile because if I did say anything, I would just be made out to be a nag. I was a good wife with good intentions until I realized it’s just all pointless. I just can’t be that robot anymore. It’s more like a roommate?
(USA) Bestill, As a woman I understand the longing for your needs of being romanced, top priority and to feel needed. The book, Captivating Revised & Updated: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul
, by Stasi Elderidge points out very clearly this is how God designed a woman and I recommend it. Unfortunately, Satan knows this need and when our needs are not met he knows right where and when to strike. Placing a seed of doubt into our minds making us feel unworthy, insecure, and not good enough. If we allow this to continue he will ruin our marriage. It is a poison and we can become hardened to our husbands and bitter towards them. Sadly, this is really hurting us even more. It is hurting our families, our husbands and us. But if we continue to do what God has called us to do out of love for Him and we do it with a joyful attitude God can nourish us and our marriages. And he will reward you for being obedient.
Men are designed on the other hand completely different. They are called to be the protector and provider, a warrior. While we may not see it as being romantic, they would fight to the death for us. (Most men hopefully continue to have this quality.) They have to work at thinking of things that are romantic because this is not instilled in them, they aren’t programmed this way and thank God for that because if they were sappy all the time who would be the person throwing their bodies over us to protect us? And most of the time they believe it has to be expensive to be romantic.
Help guide your husband on this, in a loving manner. Let him know a simple kiss on the forehead makes your heart flutter or a hand picked wild flower makes you smile ear to ear or maybe texting you a love song that reminds him of you. Maybe writing a letter instead of talking to him would be best so he can reflect and soak it all in without feeling obligated or rushed to respond to you. There is a thing called “stone walling” men do this a lot because they feel attacked. If a guy friend were to approach them the way wives tend to do, most of the time there would be a brawl because they feel disrespected or attacked. Hints the defense he puts up with you such as calling you a nag or arguing.
I recommend the book, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
. It is the handbook to marrage in my opinion aside from the Bible. It gives you the basics on gender differences, things that are so simple yet we make so complicated. Yet if we stop to remember and implement this into our marriage, WOW is all I can say. Most miscommunications happen because both genders dont understand the other or the others needs. Women need emotional bonding, touching, constant reassurance while a man needs to hear how proud of him you are or even just sitting in the same room with him watching his shows. Both of you are probably good willed people and I do believe you have tried but dont stop!!! It only takes one of you to keep trying and the other may latch on and follow. It could do wonders for your marriage. We have to break the crazy cycle or it will just continue into a downward spiral.
God calls us in Ephsians 5:25-33 to respect and submit to our husbands not because they are worthy but out of reverance for Christ. And in the same verse husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church,
“For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
“In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
On an end note, you are BEAUTIFUL. You are a daughter of Christ and you were fearfully and wonderfully made. Your husband having a wandering eye has nothing to do with you. But let God take care of that, pray for God to change your heart and to bring pain and comfort in the lonliness and distance you are currently feeling. Don’t allow this rough patch to harden your heart against your husband or God. Pray for him, that he will step up and make you feel like the princess and valuable treasure you are. Never forget how much God values you, He sent His One and Only son to die for you and if you take nothing else from this I pray you take at least that much. At the end of it all we only answer for ourselves. -Megan
I definitely needed this! I feel my heart hardening against my husband. He has made me feel so insecure and lonely for years. I’ve felt more like a maid and roommate. He only responds. He disagrees and feels I have no reason to feel this way. I feel my heart hardening toward him. I hope the prayer works.
(USA) I love my husband with every fiber of my being but I agree its a two way street
(USA) Is anyone else having trouble printing this page? It says printer friendly but it only prints the comments not the list. Please help.
Hi Rachel, We had our tech look into it and he tried it quite a few ways and had no problem. Try it again. We hope it was a temporary hick-up in the system. Also, what I do a lot of times with other web sites, is I just cut and paste the article I want to save onto a word document. That way I can customize the size and style of font (and spacing) the way I want it. I hope this helps. Blessings!
(USA) I wish there was just one of the above ways I could love my husband. He only makes life impossible. We’ve been married 45 years and its been terrible. When all the I DOs were over he changed. Mind you, before we were married intimacy was not his strong suit and right after his time in the military things seemed worse. We had our wedding night which was ok and then the day after that he moved to the basement and began working the midnight shift for 40 years.
I said this isn’t how married folks act. He said he just wanted to be left alone and don’t talk to him and ignored what I had said. Also, he stated that he didn’t want any affection, intimacy, and especially sex from me. The one time on our wedding night was our first and last time to experience sex. He wasn’t impressed, no excitement, no meaning and just plain disgusting. I thought he might be gay but he isn’t. I’ve had him followed many times by a detective and nothing out of the ordinary.
(AUSTRALIA) Amy, my heart breaks for you. What you describe is NOT marriage. I don’t understand how you have tolerated such treatment for so long. Marriage should be the most wonderful, secure bond between two people who love and respect each other. It’s give and take, sharing and trust.
I don’t believe in divorce, but reading your post made me angry on your behalf and, if anything is going to change my mind, your story is it. You are not being respected, protected or loved. He may not beat you, he may provide you a roof and a laden table but he is still mistreating you. Your husband has already broken the sacrament of marriage, you have every right to seek the happiness and love you deserve. I wish you the best of luck. I don’t know you but I love you for your strength and commitment through the years, although I don’t understand it.
(USA) Amy, I recommend going to https://marriagemissions.com/save-my-marriage-testimonies/ part of this website. The tesitmonies are amazing and may give you a little hope. Pray that the Lord transforms your heart to not harden your heart against him to love him anyways.
A bitter and resentful attitude will only break you down, it seems to hurt the victim more than the person that is hurting you. God is the only one who can do work in your husbands heart for him to change and we cannot put limits on God becuase he can do all things in his own timing. 45 years of loneliness is a long time and my heart hurts for you to feel this lonely for so long. As a woman we need to be reminded constantly that we are needed, valued and loved and that is the way we are constructed.
While I know you are not getting the attention or love you crave from the man you love just know you have someone who values you above all things, loves you unconditionally and faithfully and he knows your hurts and pain and that is Jesus Christ. You are beautiful and I hope you find peace and comfort in His Words and promises to you as his child. God Bless, Megan
(AUSTRALIA) I love this list, and the other one that goes with it. I’m not religious in any way but I believe in doing unto others as you would have done unto you (sorry if that’s not the right biblical wording). As the introduction to this article says – men & women ARE different. So what I might expect as loving behaviour is not necessarily the same for my husband. I find this list to be a great tool to remain focused on being positive & considerate in my relationship.
(USA) I recommend the book, Love & Respect
, by Dr. Emerson Eggeriches. I think you would really enjoy it. It basically shows you what each genders needs are and how God designed it to be. Men feel loved when you show them respect so for them it is harder to show love because they werent built that way, it is a lot of work and for a woman who was built to love and nurture, this is just the way she was built so it is easy for her husband to show her husband love but the concept of RESPECT for her is very difficult. I love this book and it definitely opens your eyes. I know you have mentioned in previous comments that you are not a believer and while the book is based on scripture it has some valuable insight.
I do pray one day you will see everything has a purpose and a design specifically created by God and he wants you to be apart of his family. He loves you and I hope you will find that the truth is in his word not in any religion. Religion doesnt save anyone from there sins only the blood of Christ was powerful enough for that. I understand religion has scared many people away from Jesus, but please know it has nothing to do with the man made rules of religion. Salvation is a free gift and he died for you so that you have the CHOICE to receive it or not. He wants you and every part of you and I think in that we would all find more peace in our marriage and comfort that God works all things for the good.
I respect your choice of being an atheist if this is what you choose so please do not feel I am disrespcting your beliefs but I also want to let you know the truth of Christ’s love so that you know there are other options. We all have the right to choose and how much more could you ask for from such a loving God. I hope this will strike up some curiosity in you to open his Word and search further for truth. :) God Bless! -Megan
(NIGERIA) These are wonderful tips and are very helpful. If they can be followed strictly without any bias, marriages would be a better place for all. I’m not married but have had the opportunity to interview lots of married women and men. My parents are good examples of true love and I get inspired to love them more. Every woman should follow these simple guide you have listed here and her marriage would be nicer than she even had though.
Love is a wonderful experience and can help solve many problems in relationships. When the Bible said ‘man, love your wife and wife, respect your husband’, I think, we should sit down and ask ourselves why it wasn’t said ‘wife love your husband.’ That is the secret of a wonderful marriage. I have seen that it worked for many couples. For more on how a woman can love her man, please, kindly check out; http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com/2012/03/how-to-love-your-man.html
(USA) I stumbled upon this website at a time when I desperately need a fresh take on marriage. I have been with my husband for four years now, married around eighteen months. My parents have been together over forty years and they set what I believe is a perfect example of what marriage should be. They have always been loving, humble, respectful, forgiving and affectionate towards one another, but my mother also taught me that marriage takes a lot of work.
I believe in doing everything you can to please your husband, and in the very beginning of out marriage I thought I was doing quite well. Come to find out that less than a year into the marriage my husband was carriying out an emotional affair with a woman he’d known before me, and he’d been exchanging numerous emails and pictures online with ex-girlfriends. Surprisingly, my first instinct was to forgive and move on. His first reaction was anger and to accuse me of being paranoid. Then when he did decide to confess to the lies he seemed very inconvenienced and annoyed by my need to talk about the issue. After a while things got back as close to normal as they could possibly get, but now he’s begun communicating with one ex in an inappropriate manner again.
Just thinking about the betrayal makes me miserable, angry and resentful, then I find myself lashing out and being spiteful towards him. That is exactly the kind of wife I don’t want to be. I pray about it everyday because I know I am a better woman than that. But how do I rise above the pain and anger I still feel? I really want to be a good wife, but sometimes I just can’t find the strength to do it because I don’t think he deserves it. Yes, I know that’s not the way Christian love works!
I think the list is an excellent tool for any marriage, but how does one (realistically) put aside the baggage first. Thank you & have a blessed day!
(USA) Wow . . . how chauvenistic. The biblical atributes here are so clouded with personal preferences, I recommend throwing this out & starting from scratch. I would start with 1 Corinthians 13. Please take this advice off the website.
Nope! Just by your terming it “chauvinistic” it shows you aren’t viewing it from a biblical standpoint. I don’t see that in the Bible anywhere. We don’t see where these violate the conditions where our love is to be “patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrong.”