Does your husband feel you love him? And does he feel romanced by you? Are you sure? Both are important to you and to him. Have you asked your husband about this lately? We’re asking you these questions because we’ve found the following to be true. And it may be true for your husband, as well:
“A husband considers romance to be one way and the wife considers it to be another. The wife may make many romantic gestures, which go unnoticed by her husband. That is because it wasn’t romantic to him. He didn’t feel the love in the same way it was given.
What is wrong? Are the gestures extended not romantic or thoughtful? No. Are the recipients ungrateful and self-absorbed? No. The wife is simply not romancing her husband in a way that is romantic to him!
“This is a great truth that once practiced is sure to produce lasting fruit. Study your spouse. Find out what romance means to him or her? It may surprise you! But if you do your homework you will become the master of what really turns your spouse on!” (Debi Walter, from The Romantic Vineyard)
Show Your Husband Love His Way, Rather Than What Makes Sense to You
So, we have a challenge for you! You may feel you do a good job of showing your husband that he is loved. But is it TRULY the way that he best feels loved? That’s what this challenge is all about. It will reveal what MOST speaks love to your husband.
So, to begin, we encourage and challenge you to look over the list below. And then make up a copy to share it with your husband. (Make sure you do this when you are alone together. Plus, make sure you do this at a time when he is not preoccupied with something else.)
And then discuss this list with your husband. Have him check the most meaningful suggestions listed below. He can then point out the ones that are most importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use the suggestions.
But keep in mind that these are ONLY SUGGESTIONS. Don’t feel pressured that you have to use all of them. But look at them as ways to bless and romance your husband.
(ALSO… there’s a list in the “Romantic Ideas” topic, which gives husbands 100 ideas. It is titled, 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way. So don’t feel slighted. Just share it with him.)
SUGGESTIONS on How to Show Love to Your Husband:
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know in big and small ways that he’s important to you.
3. Plus, purposefully try to listen to his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends, giving him some time with them (if they’re trust-worthy.)
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Make sure you tell him you love him AND that you like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. It’s important to protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
Other Suggestions:
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion. And then give him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems. Have FUN!
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of continually focusing on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Ease into the negatives when he first gets home.
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Look for things you can compliment about your husband. Show your appreciation often.
More Ways to Show Love:
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals to achieve together as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
Other Ideas:
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings.
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is.
36. Talk in loving, not in nagging or belittling ways.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
Remember, all of these “ways to love” are only suggestions:
41. Take special notice of what he does for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people in front of him and when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ in private when necessary).
46. “Look into your husband’s eyes when he talks to you. This makes him feel that you’re interested.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, and pray with him to start your day together.
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
Plus, here are More Suggestions of Ways to Show Love:
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time and space to recover.
52. You can bless him by helping him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of your own habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he has done around the house. We all want to feel appreciated.
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do these things as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him. This may include letting him sleep in, bringing him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
Want more suggestions? Read on…
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs (as long as they do not violate God’s ways).
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
More Suggestions to Consider:
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
Here are the Last 20 SUGGESTIONS… Keep Gleaning:
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
Other Suggestions:
91. Look your best—dress to honor and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in it’s related to business or other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem. They could be for a back scratch or a shoulder rub, etc.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.”
— ALSO —
In addition, below are links to other web site articles centering on this subject. We encourage you to glean through them, and apply what you believe will work for both of you:
• 50 IDEAS TO INSPIRE YOUR HUSBAND
• 50 THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR HUSBAND TO MAKE HIM FEEL GREAT
Filed under: Romantic Ideas
(AMERICA) My husband is wonderful, treats me like I am someone special to him. I praise him and compliment him even when I don’t feel like it… it REALLY WORKS! Has it always been this way? No. We have learned from others. We are members of two different "marriage groups" and most of what we discuss is about how to show love and respect to each other. All too often we treat strangers with more respect than we treat our spouses and families!!!
We thank the waitress for refilling our coffee cup, but we don’t thank our spouse for doing something simple for us. Simply saying things like, "thank you", "I appreciate it when…", "your help with …means so much to me"… these all make our spouses feel important and appreciated. Shouldn’t we appreciate our spouses more than we do strangers? It makes sense! Thanks for the wonderful suggestions. For all of you that are nay-sayers… don’t knock it until you try it for a month or longer!
(KENYA) For sure this is a wonderful list despite the fact that we feel we try so hard to please our husbands and no results are forthcoming. We should never give up; after all, you choose that man for yourself. All you can afford to know is that our husbands are our first born children, so love respect and be there for him always. I’m blessed to have the man I choose for myself and will love him all the way. Thank you this list. It has helped me a great deal.
(USA) I have been married for 17 years, I love my husband very much and I fell on this web site while looking for ways to let him know the way I feel. I love the list and couldn’t agree more.
Every time I hear of someone getting a divorce it makes me so sad. It isn’t easy to be married but it is the most worthy of a fight than anything else in the world. Entirely too little effort is given by so many.
My daughter is getting married on the 20th of June and I pray she will be as happy as her dad and I. By the way she is 20. Another reason I love my husband so much, he has been the best stepfather to my children.
If we would all as Christian women show the rest of the world how it is done we could do so much for society. Just love as Christ did without anything in return, and husbands would not be able to resist loving back.
(VIRGINIA) I have done most of the things on the list. I truly love my husband, but still he seems unloving to me. I have prayed for him, because of my love for him. We’ve been married for almost nine years. I now have been giving him to God. I believe when you say your vows you marry him for better or worse. God knows my heart towards my husband and He will make a way. I know I am a good wife to him, so I am doing my part. God will do the rest. I want give up. I trust God. I just want to say, I pray for all marriages and hope that you trust God. He is the answer to everything. God Bless!
(USA) Why not just ask him how you can tell he loves you? He may be doing all sorts of things that he thinks are loving actions towards you, but because they don’t match your love language, or meet your deepest emotional needs, you don’t see it as love.
It really won’t do you any good to say he’s not loving, because he’ll argue he is. That’s why I suggest asking him to explain the ways he expresses his love towards you. I think that is a much better way to open the conversation, than to simply level the assertion that he is unloving.
Also, it’s not a matter of just doing things on the list. Just as he’s probably doing things, but perhaps not the right things, the same can be true for you.
So I’d approach it as learning to see how he does express love, and approach the discussion not from a “we need to talk” which I can almost guarantee you will be interpreted by 99.44% of men as, “We need to talk about what you are doing wrong hubby.”
(CANADA) I really enjoyed this list, although I don’t agree with all the points on it. I am not Catholic so the points such as getting up early to pray with my husband etc. aren’t really applicable to me. But the other points are very applicable, and I want to thank you for posting this. I do the majority of these on a regular basis, but I will be trying out the rest. Thank you very much =)
(USA) Emily, I’m confident God doesn’t care if you are Catholic or not. He’ll listen if you get up early, or stay up late and talk to Him. You don’t have to be anything other than willing to talk to Him. He’ll listen.
(SOUTH AFRICA) My husband and I seem to have drifted apart. I feel like we have nothing to talk about unless it’s about the kids or what’s on TV, and the only time he gives me his undivided attention is when he wants sex.
What can I do to make our marriage feel like it did in the beginning I don’t want to be the one doing all the butt-kissing and getting nothing in return for it? I am always nice to my hubby and I feel like he takes me for granted. Please help :-(
(NEW ZEALAND) I actually really agree with this list… but only as long as it is shared both by husband AND wife. A lot of the things on this list are about appreciating, respecting and supporting the other person, which is what marriage should be all about. It is not all about the wife doing all the work nor the husband, but is about being each other’s best friends and each others number one fan. I have printed this list so both my husband and I can go through it together to see what is important to each other and see where we can work on things… and no, I am not of any religious affiliation – I just believe that a marriage needs to be worked at before problems arise, not only after the boat has sailed.
(INDIA) This list is no doubt very helpful. As a wife I think I can see where I’m going all wrong. But my problem is different. I came into my marriage with many of the same ideas to treat my husband, but somehow after marriage the loving and doting boyfriend completely vanished and bit by bit, I started withdrawing more and more unknowingly sometimes. Today two years later I read this list and cried- it seems like such a pile of shattered dreams… I’m become feelingless and I don’t know if I love him anymore or if I even will ever love anyone anymore.
There is a list of things to do for your wife too… read that too… but I know even if he reads it, much as he loves me, he will say it’s a load of rubbish and that’s it.
But for all those who are still hopeful and happy even… I wish you the best and God Bless… Life is blessed for those who have found true companionship and love in their partner.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I thank GOD for you. I am not yet married and this helps me a lot in preparing for when I get married. Your site is so helpful. There was one time where I felt that I am tired of being single; I am going to start dating no matter what the word of GOD says about adultery. When I went to this site and saw how dangerous it is to have sex before marriage, I started changing my mind. Now I am going to wait until I get married, thanks to you.
(USA) I think this list IS amazing. Sorry, my husband is truly my best friend and if I can find creative ways that show him how much I love him then I am open to learning. I reminds me of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. EXCELLENT read!
I found that the best way to show my husband love was with the language he “speaks” love and visa versa. Also, I created a blog site, http://www.dailyprayerchallenge.com that brings wives together to pray daily for their husbands. It hits on a lot of these types of suggestions. We are looking to improve our marriages, to strengthen them, to NOT be a divorce statistic, so why wouldn’t we be open to ideas? Trust me, I was stubborn and unteachable with my first marriage, it was women rule, men drool and look where it got me. Never again! Great list and thank you so much for sharing!
(USA) I have been married for 10 years and just had my fourth child. Sometimes we get so busy surviving we forget what helped us get married. This is a great reminder of sweet things to do because you love your husband. After all that’s why we got married.
(UNITED STATES) You are SO wrong. You believe that making a man feel like a MAN takes away from your femininity and your power. You are an idiot. I make a six figure income and I make his lunch every morning and make his dinner at night. My husband adores me and always treat me with respect. You are selfish and have ill feelings towards your husband which is evident with your ” I don’t sugar coat it… he sure doesn’t” comment. I hope your marriage improves… and your attitude.
(UNITED STATES) You are right on!!
(USA) How’s your relationships so far? You can lie if you want but your only lying to yourself.
(USA) YOU ARE SO RIGHT!
(USA) I totally agree with you sister, she doesn’t understand men are like babies, they really need our affection and love. A woman is the one who sets the tone or gives the relationship direction. If we only knew our power, how we could change things in a respectful ways, our husbands would die for us, trust me.
(UNITED STATES) But what if you love your husband unconditionally, and you try to abide by these rules and he still doesn’t treat you with the respect you feel you deserve? We have only been married 3 months, but it feels like the worse three months of our 7+ years relationship. I want to enjoy each other!
(USA) Dana, My husband and I just had our 1-year-anniversary in June. So I’m still a newlywed. I was really saddened by your comment about your married life being so bad. I don’t mean to brag, I merely want to establish my credibility by telling you that getting married has been the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and I have loved the past year with my husband. I’m sure our situations are different and I don’t know anything about you but if you’d like to talk about what’s happening in your marriage, I’d be happy to share with you the things that have made our marriage very blessed.
One of the key things was staying pure until marriage. We were both virgins when we got married and we didn’t move in together until after we got married. Staying pure was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but it so worth it. We are experiencing tremendous blessing in our lives and in our marriage and I attribute it to staying pure. I noticed that you and your husband were together a long time before you got married. If it just so happens that you had a moment of weakness and gave it up, you can still get back some of the blessing that comes with saving yourself.
The first step is to confess the sin and the next is to forgive yourself. There are books on ways to work through it. I know that’s a lame statement, but I can’t go into detail bc that may not be a factor in your life. I don’t know a thing about you so I am not assuming this happened. I’m only sharing my experience. Besides, it’s becoming common in our culture to cohabitate and to have sex before marriage that I don’t even look down on people who made that mistake. We’re innundated with sex in the media and in the the public. Even for me, it’s only by God’s grace that we waited.
The thing is, slipping up takes away some of the sacredness of marriage. There’s nothing to look forward to on the wedding night and or during the honeymoon and often times the honeymoon sets the tone for the marriage.
I don’t know why you don’t feel like you’re being treated with the respect that you deserve. Is it things that your husband says or doesn’t say? What does your husband do to make you feel you’re not respected in the manner in which you should be?
(USA) U said it right on the head.
(SOUTH AFRICA) The truth with men is no matter how much respect you show, if he doesn’t love you he’ll show, despite the pampering. Best is you stay natural and true to yourself. Everybody has someone out there who’ll love them for who they are.
(USA) Dana, a husband needs love, but most husbands spell love r-e-s-p-e-c-t. Your husband desperately needs you to respect him in a way that he can clearly perceive. He needs this as much as you desire his love. Find ways to treat your husband as king without expecting anything in return. Eventually, he will treat you like a queen. Most ladies are not willing to wait long enough for that which is why they go through so many relationships. The same cycle is repeated in every relationship because every man needs his woman to treat him like king.
(UK) Human beings need respect. If you are doing as much as you can to show him respect and love, and he is not respecting you, the relationship cannot thrive.
I know from experience that heaping love on someone that will not respect you doesn’t change them – why should it, when they have permission to treat you any way they want? I tried it for 26 years, treating him like a king. Was I pampered then? No, it made him used to getting unconditional respect and adoration.
Dr Phil says that we teach others how to treat us. If you allow it, he will just continue to treat you that way. If you can stick to your boundaries and clarify what you will or will not tolerate, then follow through, you may see changes. If he doesn’t change, you won’t lose anything worth hanging on to by making a stand. It’s either that or living in desperation and misery. Your choice.
(SOUTH AFRICA) “Find ways to treat your husband as king without expecting anything in return.” I’m sorry, WHAT? Don’t you have any self respect? I’d rather stay single my entire life than feel like a slave in my own household.
(USA) How do you give them respect when you’ve lost respect for them by the way they have acted? How do you fake it long enough to give them time to change? My husband has agreed to go to therapy, and has been going for a couple months. I am seeing some positive changes, but it is hard for me to give him my unconditional respect when it was lost.
Why can’t we agree that it has to be rebuilt. It seems like the “chicken and the egg.” If I don’t give him my respect he gets frustrated, and when he gets frustrated I don’t respect him. Because that’s been my last 10 years. He is needy and I can’t be his rock anymore.
(USA and love it) I so agree with you. When me and my husband got together, we fussed everyday, all day, but I understood what he meant. When we come home from work he wants peace and I changed my ways. I mean, we fuss still, every now and again, but not as often and our relationship progresses and we are still growing. So yes, I agree with the tips above because I used some tips and they worked perfectly fine with me!
(USA) Deb, I think I’m in love!
(USA/BRAZIL) Haha, nice.
(UNITED STATES) You know that is so true, everything that is on that list… I’ve had some problems doing what was on that list, but I know now that I love my man so much I’m going to try to improve my way of living, because I want to keep my man… So if you think that the list is stupid then you need to get a life. And like the lady said, I hope your relationship gets better.
(USA) I am a married man and I think at least 90% of this is a joke. My wife (and all women) are not meant to be our slaves. Yeah, I like it when she cooks and makes me lunch but it’s not required or expected. A relationship is about living together not living for the other. You are stuck in the stone age. I’m glad you make six figures, but you need to pull your head out of your husbands a** and live for each other, not him and the kids! Before you preach to others look at how disfunctional your family is before you speak. Thank you.
(USA) Wow…I have to say that I am really amazed as to see this coming from a man I was in total disbelief when my eyes came across this.I am married and January 20th will be 5 years that we have been married. I am a stay at home mom and have 4 children, 1 boy who is 11 and 3 girls 8,3 and 7 months and I do pretty much all the cleaning and the cooking as well as taking care of the kids alone. A lot of the times there’s times where I feel as if I would be better off as a single mother.
I dont agree with all of the things listed above. I feel that a marriage is based on 50/50 not 90 and 10. Yeah, he works full time and supports us and it’s greatly appreciated but we have 1 vehicle that is our only transportation so I am pretty much stuck in the house 24-7 and dont go no where unless my kids have doctors appts. Other than that I’m home and I feel like a prisoner in my own home at times and a slave alot of the times. I occasionally ask for help around the house when needed and his words to me is “that’s your JOB.” We are having a rocky marriage right now because of this and because of me not being able to get out and have a little time for myself and I think its unfair.
I do agree that you should do what ever you can to make your husband happy but I dont think a woman should be taken advantage of or be walked on like a door mat. I know that he is tired from working all day but I get tired too and when the kids go to bed I’m so exhausted from being with them all day and doing chores etc. that alot of the times I don’t feel like pleasing my man sexually and he gets mad about it and we argue over this. I realize what he does for us but he doesnt realize what I do for him and I don’t get respect in return. So, see ladies sometimes all your hard work on trying to make sure your man is treated like a king doesn’t always pay off. I wish there were more men like the one that posted this comment in the world. A lot of men need to open their eyes and realize what they have because you never know what you got till its gone.And me personally I know I’m a good woman and tolerate and put up with alot of crap but I keep holding on and try and make the best of it because of my children.
(USA) You can’t be a man, I think that you are a woman writing as a man. Guys don’t talk that way and we definitely don’t think that way. This list does not tell women to be slaves it only tells women to treat US MEN the way we are DYING of need for them to treat us. If my Woman did these things for me I would fight Mike Tyson for her and do most anything for her if she needed me too. There would be nothing within the bounds of biblical ethic that I would not do for her.
This list is just about almost the perfect list and has almost hit all the problems I have with my woman and JUST ABOUT ALL OF THE OTHER FELLAS THAT I ASSOCIATE MYSELF WITH who like me feel so neglected and unappreciated, berated, disrespected, over stepped, overlooked, unconsidered, betrayed, untrusted, violated, severely depressed, attacked and one inch from pulling our plugs do to our wives constant belittling and uncompromising and impatience ethic of wanting to control and take charge and not letting us be Men.
I mean lets look at Mother’s Day and Father’s day when on Women are pampered sometimes women who aren’t even mothers and we Men might get a card or two but usually wind up cooking on the grill and being left to ourselves. Many women seem to just not appreciate and respect and see how necessary we are as Men. And many of these women just happen to be sisters in the body of Christ yet they forget that, as Paul so eloquently pointed out, Eve was created for Adam and not Adam for Eve and also that the house was given to the man as head for the Father is the Head of Christ and Christ the head of Man, and Man the Head of Women.
Don’t get me wrong He also said Men should love their wives as our Christ loved US, the church and to honor our wives as the weaker vessel.If you haven’t noticed men are suckers and will do anything for women, anything, we are still paying for biting the apple off the tree which is totally our fault for consenting. I myself vehemently say that I would willing and without hesitation die for my wife and I know all of the guys would too.
I EVEN COOK AND CLEAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! I TRY TO CATER TO HER NEEDS BUT NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH!!!! I’M ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING WRONG OR THE WAY I DO THINGS TO HER IS STUPID!!!! MANY OF THE FELLAS ALL HAVE SIMILAR ISSUES!!! GEEZ, THEY WON’T LET US BE THE MEN WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE I THINK IT’S BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE THE MEN IN THE RELATIONSHIPS!!!! EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE ABOUT CONTROL AND POWER AND THEY THINK WE’RE TOO DUMB TO REALIZE IT!!! IT’S ONLY THAT “YES, DEAR” SAVES YOU FROM STRESS, HEART ATTACKS, AND STROKES, A MAN HELD TRUE PROVEN THEORY!!! IT REALLY SUCKS WHEN HOME IS THREE TIMES MORE STRESSFUL THAN WORK IS WHERE ALL THE GUYS GO TO TALK ABOUT THE SAME STORY, JUST HOW UNHAPPY ABOUT EVERYTHING AND HOW STRESSFUL TO DEAL WITH THE MRS. REALLY IS!!!! RESPECT, LOVE, KINDNESS, AND PEACE GEEZ THATS IT!!!
Now I know I don’t speak for all of the guys in the world or even in the Western Hemisphere who might have great relationships or settle for less and don’t even think of wanting improvements because asking for more causes oodles of stress and headaches from blabbering gums of berating. There are also a bunch of low lives out there too who should be required by federal mandate to take classes to receive “how to treat the opposite sex licenses” before they are even allowed to interact with any women or put be put in jail for life or receive the chair for what they’ve done to some ladies, but vice versa. I also know a lot of guys with the same issues I’ve talked about and they happen to be many of the guys I know or hear about.
Sure there are jerks ladies but when you find one of us good guys learn how to crown us and we’ll crown you back, because when you don’t we fill we are not getting what we deserve and relationships can suck terribly for everyone. And yes we guys can sometimes be nimrods and clueless but If women did things like the things in this list we’d probably begin to feel guilty about our special treatment if we knew that we are screwing stuff up and we’d want to change. You gotta kindly tell us what we are doing wrong and have faith that if you wait we will change, though when we’re rushed, berated, or nagged respectful or disrespectfully it sorely irritates us and slows us down.
Be warned, when you first make an attempt to stop these methods we will forget things because we are so used to being nagged to death. patience and kind subtle reminders work best here WE ARE ONLY HUMAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Remember Paul said that a women by her character will convert her husband to the faith. And think about it, if you love of enough to let us put the ring on it, then why are we special enough for you to do all of these things and love us without stipulation or condition. Hope this helps some great gal out there who deserves a great guy and a great relationship! Blessed and improved relationships to all!
(USA) To Rebekah: I don’t want to say your husband’s a jerk, but he should be helping you every once and a while. You should be able to travel and get out of the house. You should not have to feel like a slave in your own house. You do a great a wonderful job for your family that should be respected just as greatly as your Husband going to work.
Counseling would be good for him and yeah, sometimes being good to anyone doesn’t pay off. But that’s how the world rolls and if we stopped being good people what would become of it. Don’t give up on him. Go to marriage counseling if he’ll consent. He really should be a little more fair to know how you feel. Rebekah, there are jerks in the world and sometimes for better or for worse we make promises to stay with them for life. They are jerks but we can’t make ourselves out to be liars, by breaking our promises.
Don’t resent him; just be the best woman and wife you can be and pray that his heart grows and ego shrinks. Buy him some books on marriage and really talk about why he does things this way or what problems he sees but respectfully voice your feeling and opinion too.
Marriage sometimes just sucks but don’t give up on it. I pray all turns out well and that he gets a heart to see what you feel so you don’t feel trapped in a prison. I myself, thank you for what you do for your children and family. You are a strong person. Don’t give up. Try the list anyway and get the list for men and give it to him!
(USA) Zack…..I like you! Thanks for all of us married working American women! Woo-Hoo!!
(USA) To Jamie: Thank you for your comments. Yes, this did help me. Right now I am at the “having patience” stage because I think my husband is forgetting a little bit, but I’m trying. Right now I feel like I am giving so much but not getting it back in return. That is OK for now because I hurt him in the past. I’m doing this for God, myself and my family. I was not the nagging wife, but I was a wife that stopped caring, and started ignoring him a lot. I also had a lot of contempt, but am completely over that. I dislike being a stressful part of his life, and am really trying to make things better for him at home.
(USA) To Jamie: Where is the list for men?
It’s in the Romantic Ideas Topic, listed right above this one. –Hope it helps.
(US) Thank you. I feel a relationship is about living life together. Not one person, (husband, or wife) doing most of the work in the relationship.
(USA) How can you preach about showing love while your very own words show hate? You called this woman an idiot. Surely, you can come up with a more Christian way to relay your feelings.
I am a Christian, and while I do believe that husbands and wives need to love and respect one another, I do NOT believe everything in this list, nor do I believe everything in the man’s list of how to love his wife. Many of the tips are sexist.
Fortunately, my husband is a good person and can understand that we need to work together. We BOTH work away from home and earn money for the family, therefore we both should do chores when we get home, and we both deserve a break. Some of the things on these lists are things we already do, some of these things aren’t bad suggestions, but some of these things are absolutely ridiculous.
(CANADA) Danielle, I think you’re reading something into the lists that aren’t there. The lists seem that way even to me. I think they’re very valuable for people who have married the right person and are having difficulty in expressing their appreciation.
(USA) Thank You for this list. I just read the book: The Five Love Languages and after doing so I figured out my husbands love lauguage is Words of Affirmation. I was looking for compliments I could give my husband on a daily basis actually, but your info is also helpful. This last weekend was one of the best weekends I have had with my husband in a long time. My goal from now on is to give a different compliment each day to him.
One day out of the blue I told him that he was a very hard worker. It was cute because he said you are too, and I haven’t even been working for 2 months at my job. Sometimes it is hard to come up with compliments when a marriage is having some problems like ours is having at this time, but instead of focusing on all the negative that has been going on in our marriage the last 2 years, I let go of it all and everyday I say out loud “Thank you for the healing for our marriage” over and over. It has helped me to feel better about myself and lose weight. Now it’s time to pray for the healing of our marriage, now that I worked on myself. Just by the few positive things I say to my husband on a daily basis, it has made a lot of difference. He has definitely given me more attention than he has in some time. GOD BLESS