The following are testimonies from those who are “Single, Yet Preparing” in the event that God may unite them with a lifelong partner in marriage someday.
It is the focus of these testimonies to be prepared, should God bring a marriage partner their way, and yet “content” if this never happens.
We pray these articles are a blessing to you and help you whatever happens now and in the future.
Please click onto the links below to read:
• SABRINA’S WEDDING: THE CALLING
• SABRINA’S WEDDING: INCLUDING THE FATHER
• SABRINA’S WEDDING: THE COVENANT
• WE ALMOST MARRIED BUT WE DIDN’T HAVE PEACE
If God has given you a testimony — a personal experience you have lived through on this issue — one that could help and encourage others, we would appreciate it if you would write it down and send it to us. Even if what you have to write isn’t very long in length, we can possibly use it. You can do this by going to the CONTACT US section of this web site. Next, we ask that you click on “Contact Us” and then write it out for us there.
If you want to remain anonymous, please let us know. We will not to reveal your name and the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. Our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone.
It may be that you have tips you could share to help others in this area of preparing for marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer, and/or ask others for advice. If that is so, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below or below one of the articles we have posted on this web site.
Thanks so much!
WE APPRECIATE YOU!!!
(UNITED KINGDOM) Hello, please could somebody answer my question please. I am currently engaged to be married. I was wondering if it is ok for us as a Christian couple, for my fiance and I to discuss sex before we are married. Or is that impure to do that? I have heard some Christians say that you should discuss it before you get married so that you don’t have the wrong expectations about it when it comes down to it, is this right? If so then how far are we allowed to go, is it ok to talk about our likes and dislikes or is that going too far? Could some wise individual give me any sound advice on this subject, please.
(USA) Matthew, You make a good point, which we’ve been praying about since reading your posting. What comes to mind is to have you first study what married sex is about, in the context of God’s ways, not mans. Pray together that the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor will guide you. And then we recommend you read through the “Sex Before Marriage” topic on this web site, starting with the “Quotes” that we make available. Make sure you talk about them, whether you agree or disagree and why or why not. It’s important to be completely honest with each other. Even if it causes tension between you, it’s better to get things out in the open and work to build bridges, rather than smooth things over now, only to have it come up and cause problems later.
And then go through the “Sexual Issues” topic… having the Holy Spirit guide you as to what to read. Not all of the articles will be ones that you should read ahead of time, but some would be good to read. Be careful about sexual arousal, which comes very naturally when you love someone. It’s important NOT to read and discuss things in places where you may fall into temptation. Ask God to help you NOT to open the gift of sexual intimacy before you marry (and if you have, stop). Save the best God has for you later, when God will bless it.
And then, there’s a book we recommend you obtain and read together because it will put sexual issues within marriage, within the context of how it SHOULD be, rather than how the world presents it. The book is titled, Sacred Sex: A Spiritual Celebration of Oneness in Marriage and is written by Tim Alan Gardner, published by Waterbrook –a division of Random House. We’re fairly sure you can find it somewhere in the United Kingdom.
Although this book is written primarily for married couples, it will be good for you to read it, as well. Plus, it has questions you can talk about together. The things the author writes about will give you a healthier vision of the sexual relationship, as it SHOULD be — apart from what those outside of the faith believe. Being physically intimate with each other is a GREAT gift God gives us, but if we go against God’s order, problems are inevitable.
And then, Cindy is going to work on putting together an article aimed at discussing sexual issues, as they pertain to talking about them BEFORE marriage. But it will take a while (because of personal reasons, as well as the research it will take to put it together). This is a sensitive subject and will take prayer, time, and a lot of digging to find the info that will best help couples such as you and your fiance. So, please be patient and keep an eye on the “Sex Before Marriage” topic, to see when it will be posted. But in the meantime, the other reading material should keep you busy for a while. We hope this will help. God bless!
(NIGERIA) Yes, it’s very necessary to discuss sex before marriage. Note! Discuss. This has been an issue in many marriages threatening, struggling and breakups.
Hi guys, A question – what do we do when it feels like more than a “season” of waiting? I’m about to turn 42 and I’m still looking for my spouse, with no prospects whatsoever on the horizon. It feels like everyone my age is either married, divorced (which is a dealbreaker for me), or determined to remain single. I’ve tried everything I can to try meeting new people, get into new social groups, and just improve my chances. But I’m running out of hope.
Dear M, So sorry to read of your dilemma. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be in this place. There’s no doubt that this longing of the heart has to be so very be frustrating, confusing and painful. Sadly, we receive a lot of emails and comments on the web site concerning this matter. And all I can do is encourage you not to let hope escape you. You never know what tomorrow brings.
I remember all too well a very good friend that was in this position. She was smart (a teacher), pretty, fun and interesting to be with, and loved the Lord with all her heart. And yet, she lived with the same longing that you describe for many, many years. It was puzzling and difficult to understand for all of us why she never found the right marriage partner in life before she did. She was actually about 45 before someone walked into her life that eventually fell in love with and married her. He was such a good guy and also loved the Lord and was a good husband to her (and she was a good wife). Sadly, he died a couple of years ago and she died recently. But they had a very loving, and God-honoring marriage for about 20 years. We’re so glad that she found him and he found her. We used to laugh that they were “made” for each other — it just took them longer to meet and discover one another.
I’m not trying to tell you that this will happen to you, but you never know. In the meantime though, I encourage you to continue to pray, lean into the Lord to guide you in your everyday life, and never give up. Never, never, never give up. If it is to be, then it will happen.
Please know that we ALL have “something” that we desperately long for. If it’s not waiting to find a spouse, it’s waiting for a prodigal child, or a prodigal spouse to grab onto the Lord, or it may be waiting for an abusive situation to stop, plus there are longings for physical afflictions to heal, or continuing financial problems to be resolved, etc., etc. There are SO MANY longings of the heart that can cause us to lose hope. Again, we all have something that is plaguing us. You aren’t alone. But when we find ourselves in that hopeless place, we need to lean all the more into the Lord, asking Him to help us to place our focus and spend our energies on that, which He would have us. If we don’t we can lose hope and also allow this situation to become more of a focus than we should let it.
I recently read something sent to us by The Smalley Institute on the importance of continually surrendering our wants and what we perceive as our “needs” which is related to this issue. They said, “When we can’t surrender something to God, we’ve made it an idol. An idol isn’t just a statue you bow down to. An idol is anything you can’t surrender to God because you need it more than you need Him. It’s anything you’re saying—consciously or unconsciously—’I can’t trust God with this. This is bigger than God’s ability to care for me.’
“Think back over your own life. Think about times when God came through for you. Times when you thought you wouldn’t survive, but you did. Times when God proved faithful even when His answer wasn’t what you expected. You have your own testimony, don’t you? God has been faithful before. Multiple times. In ways you never expected. And yet, here you are, afraid [or feel it is hopeless] to trust Him with THIS thing.”
Please know that I’m not accusing you of this. I just thought that what they said was inspiring to help you grab (once again) onto the hope that God can give and trust Him that He is “working all things together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.”
Dearest M, God has a plan for you and for others around you. I’m not just giving you a “ra-ra” speech to try to cheer you up. I know deep in my heart as I pray for you that God is working, even though it doesn’t seem that He is. I hope you will empty your feelings of hopelessness (I’ve been there many times myself too), bow your heart to the Lord all the more, lean into Him for comfort and hope, and look to see where He directs your attention. And as you do, “May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5) “May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you.” (Jude 1:2)