Too Busy to be Kind?

Busy Kind - Dollarphotoclub_102520992.jpg“If you’re too busy to be kind, you’re too busy.” It’s a simple statement, profound in its truth.

And even though the one Christmas song says, “Tis the season to be jolly…” If you look into the eyes of many around you, there isn’t a whole lot of “jolly” going around —tired and frantic is more like it. More appropriate words would be, “Tis the season to be busy…”

But, “if you’re too busy to be kind, you’re too busy!” Keep in mind that Jesus Christ is our Prince of Peace. That’s why He came to earth in the first place, to lead the way so we can be reconciled to God and participate with Him in bringing peace upon this earth. We can’t change everyone’s approach to life on this earth, but we can change ours.

If we spend our time rushing around to the point that we can’t even be kind to those within our own home, what in the “world” are we doing? Are we doing things God’s way or the way of this world?

Martha Syndrome

That’s the message God revealed to me a number of years ago. What’s more important? Is it the people I love, or what I think I need to get done? If I’m too busy to be kind, I’m too busy. If I forget that, it’s time for a priority check and re-evaluation of what truly “needs” to get done. I have to beware of The Martha Syndrome.  (And the same is true for you.)

“What blessed primordial gene is it that enables women to do six things at once while keeping a lookout for the saber-tooth tiger lurking somewhere down the path? We are the world’s great organizers and doers. Yet sometimes this capability runs rampant. When it does, it runs our life—literally. Marriage can kick the gene into high gear. We need to monitor ourselves carefully; resisting the urge to take care of too many things at once.” (Toni Sciarra Poynter, from the book, “From This Day Forward”)

Are You Too Busy to Be Kind?

In all of your busyness, beware! Here’s something else that author Connie Grigsby wrote that is important to keep in mind, as well:

“The primary influencer of how kids see dad is mom! The way she views her husband, and the manner in which she treats him, is very often mirrored by her children. A woman is counted wise if she carefully builds her house and this includes her husband’s reputation. However, she’s counted a fool if she tears it down with her own hands.” See: Proverbs 14:1.

The same is true with a husband in the way he treats his wife. If, as a husband, you show your wife unkindness and disrespect and allow the children to do the same, what message are you conveying? If you claim to be a follower of Christ, what are you doing to your bride, His Bride, His daughter?

Beware of putting, “some short-term thing with no long-term significance ahead of the woman you promised to love, honor, and cherish.” That’s the challenge before you. (You can read more in Paul Byerly’s article, The Tyranny of the Moment.)

So, in the busyness of this season and throughout the year, check your attitude and your actions. Lori Byerly, Paul’s wife and key author of the blog,, gives the following challenge to keep in mind and follow through in word and deed.

She wrote:

“How is your ‘holiday attitude’? If you’re stressed and cranky, ask yourself what you can do to make your day better (simplify, reschedule, let it go, delegate). Take a few deep breaths, put on some worship music, or have a little chat with God. Then relax your shoulders and put a smile on your face.”

And then remember, “A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances. But he/she is rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” (Hugh Downs)

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death —even death on a cross!(Philippians 2:5-8)

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.

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Filed under: Marriage Blog

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