If you’re anything like us, you need tools and connection questions to help you grow in your marriage relationship. Our busy lives have a way of pushing us apart from each other. That’s why we’re always looking for new ideas, that will help us to reconnect in meaningful ways. And they’ve worked!
That’s why we’re sharing them with you. They work! (That is… they work if you actually do them.) And that’s what we’re hoping you will do. Look for different ways to connect. Below are just a few things you can also try.
Kissing and Connection Questions
First, here’s one tip, which has helped us to connect emotionally, is something we heard David and Claudia Arp talk about in one of their marriage seminars. They encourage couples “to practice the ten-second kiss rule. In the morning, before saying goodbye, and in the evening, when saying hello, kiss for ten seconds.” It can definitely start the day and also begin the evening at home in a positive way too —a GREAT way to connect.
It may seem a bit weird but somehow, as you get into the moment, your whole attitude changes for the better as you smooch with your sweetheart. Try it. We sure enjoy it. It always brings a smile to our faces and to our hearts when we do. And if you want to learn a little bit more about this way of connecting, here’s a great “tutorial”:
There’s something else we do, which we heard a marriage “expert” recommend. (Unfortunately, neither of us can remember who this expert was, but we remember the advice he gave). He said that he and his wife ask each other a couple of important questions every evening to re-connect again after a long day. (And then you can ask other questions at other times.)
We tried them, and have found them to be a reconnecting tool. They are now typed, and displayed in a small frame, sitting on our kitchen table waiting for us each evening to ask each other. (We sure wish we knew the author’s name, though.)
So, during busy times we ask each other these three questions to help us reconnect after a long day. The first two come from the marriage expert, and the third is one we came up with to use. We thought you might find it enlightening to ask each other these same questions:
• Did anything positive or exciting happen to you today?
• Was there something that made you sad or disappointed?
• Is there something NEW that God showed you?
And then, at another time, here are some fun questions you can ask each other. Now, remember that these are “fun” questions. So, don’t argue your points; express them and enjoy getting to know your spouse better:
Simple Communication Tools
A simple kiss, simple questions, but they can sure make a great difference as you put intentionality into physically, emotionally, and spiritually connecting at different times of the day. We hope they help you as they have helped us.
We’re told in the scriptures, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)
Think about it, when you are showing love to your spouse —making positive connections even in small ways, you are pleasing God. The side benefit is that you are also pleasing your spouse —your marital partner.
May you make this your mission to positively connect each day!
Cindy and Steve Wright
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