Connection Questions and a Kiss

Connection Questions Adobe StockIf you’re anything like us, you need tools and connection questions to help you grow in your marriage relationship. Our busy lives have a way of pushing us apart from each other. That’s why we’re always looking for new ideas, that will help us to reconnect in meaningful ways. And they’ve worked!

That’s why we’re sharing them with you. They work! (That is… they work if you actually do them.) And that’s what we’re hoping you will do. Look for different ways to connect. Below are just a few things you can also try.

Kissing and Connection Questions

First, here’s one tip, which has helped us to connect emotionally, is something we heard David and Claudia Arp talk about in one of their marriage seminars. They encourage couples “to practice the ten-second kiss rule. In the morning, before saying goodbye, and in the evening, when saying hello, kiss for ten seconds.” It can definitely start the day and also begin the evening at home in a positive way too —a GREAT way to connect.

It may seem a bit weird but somehow, as you get into the moment, your whole attitude changes for the better as you smooch with your sweetheart. Try it. We sure enjoy it. It always brings a smile to our faces and to our hearts when we do. And if you want to learn a little bit more about this way of connecting, here’s a great “tutorial”:

HOLDING HANDS AND KISSING SPOUSE

Another Suggestion

There’s something else we do, which we heard a marriage “expert” recommend. (Unfortunately, neither of us can remember who this expert was, but we remember the advice he gave). He said that he and his wife ask each other a couple of important questions every evening to re-connect again after a long day.

We tried them, have found them to be a reconnecting tool. They are now typed, and displayed in a small frame, sitting on our kitchen table waiting for us each evening to ask each other. (We sure wish we knew the author’s name, though.)

Three Connection Questions

During busy times we ask each other three questions to help us reconnect after a long day. The first two come from the marriage expert, and the third is one we came up with to use. We thought you might find it enlightening to ask each other these same questions:

•  Did anything positive or exciting happen to you today?

•  Was there something that made you sad or disappointed?

•  Is there something NEW that God showed you?

A simple kiss, simple questions, but they can sure make a great difference as you put intentionality into physically, emotionally, and spiritually connecting at different times of the day. We hope they help you as they have helped us.

We’re told in the scriptures, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.(1 John 4:7) 

Think about it, when you are showing love to your spouse —making positive connections even in small ways, you are pleasing God. The side benefit is that you are also pleasing your spouse —your marital partner.

May you make this your mission to positively connect each day!

Cindy and Steve Wright

Print Post

Filed under: Communication Tools

Join the Discussion

Please observe the following guidelines:

  • Try to be as positive as possible when you make a comment.
  • If there is name-calling, or profane language, it will be deleted.
  • The same goes with hurtful comments targeted at belittling others; we won't post them.
  • Recommendations for people to divorce will be edited out–that's a decision between them and God, not us.
  • If you have a criticism, please make it constructive.
  • Be mindful that this is an international ministry where cultural differences need to be considered.
  • Please honor the fact this is a Christ-centered web site.

We review all comments before posting them to reduce spam and offensive content.

Comments

3 responses to “Connection Questions and a Kiss

  1. I’d lived a single life for 12 years and I got divorced from my husband. We could not sort our differences out and then, the only solution was do live separate ways. For those 12 years I was asking God to bring me a matured, God-fearing person. Indeed HE did and we are planning to tie the knot.

    My redeemer liveth!

  2. What do you do when trust has been broken? But you have fully forgiven them, but they dont believe in what you say when you don’t communicate well or can’t seem to find the right words.