Holding Hands and Kissing Your Spouse

This past week has been our annual birthday week. Cindy’s birthday was last week, and this week Steve had his. As a result, we can say without hesitation that we did (and continue to do) a whole lot of holding hands and kissing! After all, we’re married. God gives us permission and His blessing to do so! And we love it! It’s a great way to celebrate.

Concerning this matter, here’s something you may not have thought about before. “For loving married couples, kisses are conversations. Their lips speak in a different way, but they speak just the same.” (The Pure Bed) You can call it the Kissing Spouse Communication Language. Kisses ARE a type of conversation.

In our married lives, sometimes it’s important to speak with words; and other times it’s good to speak without them. This is especially true when you’re kissing, because it can get pretty messy. But even so, they speak a language all of their own.

And so does hand holding. Steve and I have loved holding hands throughout the many, many years of our marriage. Thankfully, we never lost that art of communication. We do it with intentionality. It’s something we wish all married couples would continue to do with each other, no matter how many years they are married. It’s such a simple way of expressing that you care. And yet it can make a real impact upon those who participate.

And what’s funny, is that there is even a simple “art” to holding hands —one we didn’t even realize, but once we came across the following list, we realized there is. Some we knew, and some we didn’t. See if you’ve heard of them (and maybe even used them):

Top Ten Holding Hand Techniques:

1. The Passive Hand Hold

2. The Intertwined Fingers Hand Hold

3. The One-Finger Hand Hold

4. The Massaging Hand Hold

5. The Two-Hand Hold

6. The Palm Caress Hand Hold

7. The Kissing Hand Hold (This is one I enjoy A LOT! I will often gently give Steve’s hand a kiss while holding it, sometimes pressing it against my cheek afterward, to let him know that I not only enjoy holding his hand, but I feel an extra surge of love for him at that moment. Needless to say, my husband likes this one too.)

8. The Gentle Pinching Hand Hold

9. The Warm-Up Hand Hold

More, Concerning Holding Hands and Kissing:

Here’s one we hadn’t heard before, but we definitely want to try it. We use other types of hand signals to communicate when we want to privately send a message to each other when we’re with others. But the following is another great option. It’s called:

10. The Morse-Code Hand Hold

To have a little fun, and to learn more about these hand holding techniques, please read Tom Walter’s blog for The Romantic Vineyard titled, “Do You Wanna?“ It’s a fun read!

Even More Kissing

And then, for another fun read (going back to the subject of kissing) there is another article we recommend you read. It’s on the Hotholyhumorous.com web site. Here’s a sample that describes for us many different types of kisses. Within the blog they write:

“Now there are types of kisses — from the quick peck to the soft exploring kiss to the open-mouthed twisting of tongues. They all have their place. Jeanne Bourgeois said: ‘A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.’ How true! The type of kiss can say a lot about what is going on between the two of you, and —like grammar —there is room for all kinds of punctuation.

“Here are a few kissing types (we’re just going to give you the name of the kisses (for more, we encourage you to read their blog):

• Butterfly Kiss.
• Peck.
• Face Kiss.
• Soft Lip Kiss.
• French Kiss.
• Licking Kiss.
• Nibbling Kiss.

Their expanded explanation of kissing, from simple kisses to ones that punctuate your love for your spouse in passionate ways, can be found at:

We recently read somewhere that one spouse said to the other, “Kissing is a language of love, so how about a conversation?” We love it!

Here’s another one: “Do you have a pencil? Because I want to erase your past and write our future with kisses.”

Isn’t that romantic? And then here’s one more: “If a kiss is the language of love, then we have a lot to talk about.” And husbands and wives do and should. They should never lose the art of carrying on that type of conversation!

Tips and Scriptures on Kissing Spouse

And then here’s a tip, which has helped us to connect emotionally. It’s something we heard David and Claudia Arp talk about in one of their marriage seminars. They encourage couples to “PRACTICE THE TEN-SECOND KISS” rule.

“In the morning, before saying goodbye, and in the evening, when saying hello, kiss for ten-seconds.” It sure starts the day in a good way. It also starts the evening at home in a positive way too. What a GREAT way to connect! Plus, it’s fun! And the best part is that it’s biblical!

“Greet one another with a kiss of love.” (1 Peter 5:14)

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!” (Song of Songs 1:2)

“Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine” (Song of Solomon 1:2)

May you have fun holding hands and kissing your spouse this week and from this day forward!

Cindy and Steve Wright

— ADDITIONALLY —

To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:

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