“For loving married couples, kisses are conversations. Their lips speak in a different way but speak just the same.” (The Pure Bed) This is SO true. You can call it the Kissing Spouse Communication Language. Kisses ARE a type of conversation. In our married lives, sometimes it’s important to speak with words and other times it’s good to speak without them. This is especially true when you’re kissing, because it can get pretty messy. But even so, they speak a language all of their own.
And so does hand holding. Steve and I have loved holding hands throughout the 45+ years of our marriage. It’s something we do with intentionality. This is also something we wish all married couples would continue to do with each other, no matter how many years they are married. It’s such a simple way of expressing that you care. And yet it can make a real impact upon those who participate.
And what’s funny, is that there is even a simple “art” to holding hands —one I didn’t even realize, but once I came across the following list, I realized there is. Some I knew, and some I didn’t. See if you do:
Top Ten Hand Holding Techniques:
1. The Passive Hand Hold
2. The Intertwined Fingers Hand Hold
3. The One-Finger Hand Hold
4. The Massaging Hand Hold
5. The Two-Hand Hold
6. The Palm Caress Hand Hold
7. The Kissing Hand Hold (This is one I enjoy A LOT… I will often gently give his hand a kiss while holding it, sometimes pressing it against my cheek afterward, to let him know that I not only enjoy holding his hand, but I feel an extra surge of love for him at that moment. Needless to say, my husband Steve likes this one too.)
8. The Gentle Pinching Hand Hold
9. The Warm-Up Hand Hold
Now, here’s one I hadn’t heard before, but definitely want to try. Steve and I have other types of hand signals we use to communicate when we’re with others and we want to privately send a message to our spouse, but this one is actually one that you can use when others are with you or not. And it’s:
10. The The Morse-Code Hand Hold
To have a little fun, and to learn of these hand holding techniques, please read Tom Walter’s blog, posted on Theromanticvineyard.com, where he not only gives a brief description, but even includes a few pictures. It’s a fun read!
And then, for another fun read, going back to the subject of kissing there is another article I recommend you read. It’s on the Hotholyhumorous.com web site. In this blog, they describe for us many different types of kisses. Within the blog they write:
“Now there are types of kisses — from the quick peck to the soft exploring kiss to the open-mouthed twisting of tongues. They all have their place. “Jeanne Bourgeois said (in 1955): ‘A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.’ How true! The type of kiss can say a lot about what is going on between the two of you, and —like grammar —there is room for all kinds of punctuation.
“Here are a few kissing types (we’re just going to give you the name of the kisses (for more, we encourage you to read their blog):
• Butterfly Kiss.
• Face Kiss.
• Soft Lip Kiss.
• French Kiss.
• Licking Kiss.
• Nibbling Kiss.
Their expanded explanation of kissing, from simple kisses to ones that punctuate your love for your spouse in passionate ways, can be found at:
And then, going into a little more detail, they give you:
And then here’s a tip, which has helped us to connect emotionally. It’s something we heard David and Claudia Arp talk about in one of their marriage seminars. They encourage couples “to PRACTICE THE TEN-SECOND KISS rule. In the morning, before saying goodbye, and in the evening, when saying hello, kiss for ten-seconds.” It sure starts the day in a good way. It also starts the evening at home in a positive way too —a GREAT way to connect. And fun too! Plus, it’s biblical!
“Greet one another with a kiss of love.” – 1 Peter 5:14
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!” – Song of Songs 1:2
“Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine” – Song of Solomon 1:2
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.