Cross Cultural Workers and Sexual Stress

Dollar Photo Couple sleeping back to back after an argumentSexual stress? Do you, as cross cultural workers, think that it couldn’t happen to you? It can and does.

“Could it happen to you, a cross-cultural worker? Of course, it could. You are human, aren’t you? It is a natural human tendency to grow to like people with whom we spend time, so much so that even people taken hostage often grow to like their captors, and the captors grow to like their hostages.

“It is even more likely that you will like people with whom you are working, and that liking may become sexual attraction. People can gradually “slide” into sexual sin over a period of time.” (Ron Koteskey)

The Sexual Slide of Cross Cultural Workers

That tendency to “slide” is something to be aware of, or as the Bible says, to “be on the alert” because of the threat of the enemy of our faith.

Just because you are “working” for the Lord on the mission field, and you are anointed by God to do His work, it doesn’t mean that you won’t experience sexual tension and areas of temptation. As Ron said, “You’re human, aren’t you?”

Even if you are married, and probably because you are married, the enemy of our faith targets you all the more. The enemy is working overtime to bring the ministry that God is doing through you, down. Sexual stress is just one of many areas that are under attack. This is a vulnerable area of your life where giving into temptation can cause you to fall, BIG TIME!!!

Ron Koteskey gives biblical examples of this. He goes into some of the situations you need to consider. This can make you better aware and more cautious in the future of “dangers” that can threaten your marriage. It can also threaten the ministry the Lord has given you.

To read of this stress and this threat, below is a web site link for you to read:


If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.

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Filed under: Pastors and Missionary Marriages

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One response to “Cross Cultural Workers and Sexual Stress

  1. (USA)  Thank you for this web site. I just discovered it about two weeks ago. My husband and I have been through a difficult time, recently. I found out he was going on mission trips several times a year for a few years with a woman I did not know about. He was careful not to tell me about her and careless with our marriage. I found out about her and saw some things that led me to think they were having an emotional affair.

    Also, two people who had been on a mission trip with them expressed concern about the way they interacted. One person described their behavior as “flirting like middle school kids”. I asked him to stop going with her and he told me that I stopped him from doing the only important thing that God had for him to do. He told me he made the wrong decision when he agreed to stop going.

    I read many things in articles on your web site that sounded exactly like the concerns I had. I have no doubt that he needed to stop going with her for the health and survival of our marriage. Before I knew about her, I had noticed that he had become consumed with the mission trips and felt that it had put distance between us, but told myself it was alright because it was for God. I believe that the Lord brought things into the light to put a stop to the situation, before it became even more devastating.

    I hope many people are helped by your web site. It is true that we, as Christians, need to accept and admit that this can be an area in which our flesh can be vulnerable and Satan can attack. The past year and a half has been quite tumultuous. My husband does not accept that this has had a severe impact on our relationship. I understand the concept of moving on, but our choices do not come without consequences.

    It has been difficult because my husband has said mean things about me like I am crazy, jealous, insecure, and deranged. It is hard for me to feel close to him, because of the low opinion he has of me as a woman and a wife. Also, he maintains that there was not anything wrong with his behaviors or deceit. I know forgiveness is all that is left. I pray that the Lord blesses your work. I hope that we, as Christians, will remember the importance that our Lord told us to place on marriage, even using the husband/wife relationship to describe Christ’s relationship with the church.