We all face times in our marriages when we have to make a decision on something important. But what if you don’t know what to do? What if you’re confused? The smartest answer is to turn to God, asking for wisdom!
In the Bible we’re told in the Bible:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)
So, to help you do that, below is a checklist that can help you make decisions from a God-honoring stand-point.
Questions to ask yourself before making a final decision:
Have I asked for God’s help?
Do I show my trust for God with every area of my life, not merely this decision?
Am I operating on the basis of good reasons rather than changing feelings?
Am I filling my mind with God’s Word so that my mind is being transformed?
Are there biblical commands or principles that apply to my specific situation?
What are the alternatives and consequences of each possible option? How do these fare when evaluated by what the Bible says?
Do my abilities and weaknesses have a bearing on the decision? How?
Will the outcome of this decision glorify God, build me up spiritually, and edify others?
Have I sought out worthy advisers?
Have I carefully evaluated the advice, not merely accepted or rejected it?
Is this decision a matter of my own freedom [and is this what God ultimately wants]?
Do I have peace that my decision is right?
Would waiting be profitable or detrimental?
Am I determined to obey and please God?
And lastly, something else to consider, that we at Marriage Missions would like to add:
Make sure that whatever decision you make does not contradict scripture.
Sometimes we will rationalize a type of “peace of mind” that God loves us too much to want us in a certain situation. We rationalize in our human minds that “a loving God would not want me to be unhappy, therefore He would have me do things a different way.”
As a result, we conclude that we’ve come to the right one even though it contradicts God’s word. We’re sure God wants us to be happy in the decision we’ve made. But that’s just not true! God doesn’t tell us in the Bible that His goal for us is to be happy. God cares more about our character than our happiness.
Plus, He will not contradict His Word, concerning you. God doesn’t tell everyone else through the Bible to do things one way but He bends them for you. That is projecting upon God what we want to think, rather than what He really says to be true.
So make sure that the decision you make doesn’t contradict what the Bible says. Otherwise you’ve been deceived; and you need to pray more about it. Each decision you make needs to be wise in the Lord. You want to lean upon the Lord’s understanding —not your own. The Bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Dr Steve Dowdle wrote this checklist. Steve is a retired Counseling Pastor from Casas Adobes Baptist Church located in Arizona in the USA.
— ALSO —
Pastor Roger Barrier wrote a great piece that can help you to discern if God is giving you the wisdom you are seeking, or if it is coming from another source that could lead you astray. We encourage you to read this article from Preach It Teach It:
• HOW TO KNOW IF GOD’S THE ONE WHO’S SPEAKING
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