Discerning the Difference Between the Conviction of the Holy Spirit and Condemnation of the Enemy

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

Condemnation - Pixabay cloud-363075_640It is important for born again Christians, to know that there is a huge difference between the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the condemnation of the enemy of our faith. It can affect how we approach life.

Please, let there be no confusion. The Holy Spirit works to convict us to push away from the ensnarement of sin (doing that which is wrong). And He works in drawing us towards God in freedom. The condemning spirit of the enemy of our faith works to push us away from God. This is done in shame and condemnation. That way we are more prone in hopelessness, to continue to do what we should NOT.

Concerning Condemnation:

“There are two feelings we can experience after we’ve sinned. One is conviction and the other is condemnation. Conviction is from the Holy Spirit, prompting us to confess and be restored to fellowship so God can continue to bless us. Its purpose is to draw us closer to God. Condemnation is from Satan, trying to convince us that we’re no good, and that God will never forgive us. It’s purpose is to keep us away from God by making us feel guilty.

“As soon as we confess our sins, we’re forgiven and the sin is forgotten as God immediately purifies us from all unrighteousness (See: 1 John 1:9). Any bad feelings we have after that are feelings of guilt that come from Satan.

“So if you’re being drawn closer to God, you’re feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit. But if you feel like hiding from God and begin to doubt His love for you, you’re feeling condemnation from the devil. Rebuke those feelings in the name of Jesus. Resist the devil and he’ll flee from you” (see: James 4:7-10). (Jack Kelley, of Grace Thru Faith Ministries)

Furthermore, concerning condemnation:

“There is a simple test to see if you experiencing condemnation by the enemy or gentle conviction by the Holy Spirit. Guilt and/or shame will draw you further away from the Lord deeper into sin. Conviction is the Holy Spirit nudging us to confess and turn from the sin as He provides the power to overcome” (See: Romans 2:4; Romans 8:31-39; Philippians 4:13; Luke 22:31-32). (Robin Samson of Heart of Wisdom.com)

To help you further to discern the difference between the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the condemnation of the devil, we are going to share with you additional principles and scriptural references that we believe will empower you in your spiritual life, your personal life, as well as your married life.

Why is this relevant to marriage? It is relevant because the condemning method of the enemy of our faith works to draw us away from the healthy thinking and actions that God wants us to embrace. And when that happens our marriages are in peril of being weakened and destroyed. When we draw towards God, we have the power of the Holy Spirit working within us to do what is good, noble, right and pure.

The following is a short study of what the Bible tells us about the character of God and the character of enemy of our faith. We pray it will inspire you to dig deeper into studying the Bible so you will rightly discern what is Truth both now and in the future.


1. Tone of the enemy of our faith:

Accusing, nagging —it’s a mocking voice generating fear and shame causing confusion, projecting a sense of rejection and ministering questions like: “Has God indeed said?” He’s the father of lies (see: John 8:44). He’s deceitful, pretending to know what’s best for you.


Loving voice of our Father, imploring, beseeching and urging our return to Him …as we’re told in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me all ye who are weary and heavy laden…” And in John 12:32 where Jesus says, “…I will draw all men to myself.”

2. The enemy of our faith’s messages are vague and general:

He generates a blanketing, choking sense of general guilt, as though everything is wrong and there’s no one action you can really take to overcome. Often a sense of complete hopelessness and weakness prevails. The enemy attacks you in general. You can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. You feel helpless and hopeless focusing on half-truths.


The Spirit says, “Fix this one thing and you’ll be free.” He commands you to take one specific action — to make a choice of your will. “And you must not turn aside, for then you would go after futile things which cannot profit or deliver because they’re futile. For the Lord will not abandon His people.” (1 Samuel 12:21-22) The conviction of the Spirit is specific to the sin. The Spirit defends you against your over-sensitive conscience. He draws you to God.

3. Discouragement and condemnation is the message of the enemy of our faith:

He centers his attack on you as a person and cuts your self-image to ribbons. He pushes to agitate and provokes you to be disobedient to God (see: 1 Chronicles 21:1). And then the enemy tempts you in areas of weakness. The enemy tells you that you are weak and not one of God’s chosen ones. He tries to ruin you without cause (see: Job 2:3).

He tries to deceive. (See: Matthew 4:3; 1 Thessalonians 3:5; Revelations 12:9) Also, the enemy continually accuses you before God. (see: Revelations 12:10; Revelations 20:3.) He is impatient and feeds anxious feelings.

The enemy schemes against you by sending discouragement as flaming missiles. (See: Ephesians 6:16.) He tries to make crooked the straight ways of the Lord (see: Acts 13:10).


He encourages you to rely on God’s power, not on your own righteousness or strength (see: 1 Thessalonians 5:24; 2 Chronicles 20:15; 2 Chronicles 16:9; Psalm 23; Psalm 37:5-7; Proverbs 3:24-26). The Holy Spirit encourages you to be anxious for nothing and most times doesn’t give a deadline. He comforts and encourages the broken hearted and proclaims liberty for the captives (see: Isaiah 61:1). He even makes intercession for you (see: Romans 8:26).

4. “Remember all the past” says the enemy:

The devil replays the videos of your past memories of sin and guilt and shame. He draws up accounts of your past sins, failures and offenses that are under the blood.


The Holy Spirit tells you your sin is forgotten, cleansed, removed, covered and put away, never to be held against you. (see: John 1:29; Psalm 103:12; 1 John 1:7-9; Psalm 51:7; Micah 7:19; Hebrews 10:17; Philippians 3:13; Matthew 12:31; Psalm 34:7-8)

Condemnation is the Enemy’s Message

5. The message of the enemy is rejection and condemnation by the holiness of God:

He disguises himself as an agent of holiness and an angel of light (see: 2 Corinthians 11:14). He produces the feeling that God has rejected you as unworthy and unholy. Satan speaks of God as your judge and you as a miserable sinner. He emphasizes “good works” instead of God’s grace. The message is to “do, do, do” and yet you can never “do” enough to “measure up.”


There is a pull of attraction towards God. He generates in you an unexpected kindness, love, long-suffering, forgiveness and new beginning with God’s help. The Holy Spirit speaks of your permanent relationship with God, drawing you to the Son of your Father (see: Joshua 1:8-9). The emphasis is to experience and live in God’s grace and forgiveness! He desires all men to be saved to come to the knowledge of truth (see: 1 Timothy 2:4).

6. The enemy brings negative scriptures to mind:

As Shakespeare said, “The devil knows how to quote scripture to his purpose!” Satan threatens judgment and says, “Grace is denied because you didn’t fulfill the conditions!”  He uses the Law against you to justify yourself and rely on your own righteousness (see: Romans 10:3; Galatians 2:16). He comes and sometimes takes away the word which has been sown (see: Mark 4:15).


(See: John 14:26.) He speaks of the unchanging nature of God and of His steadfast love towards us. He confirms that God remains faithful to His covenant (see 1 John 1:9; Hebrews 10:23) even when we prove faithless for a time (see: 1 John 3:20). The Spirit reassures us that there is no law that is effective against those who rely on Christ’s work (see: Colossians 2:14, Psalm 25:8-14; Psalm 40:1-5). He assures us that He is our help and strength (see: Psalm 121 and Psalm 146).

7. The enemy works to isolate you:

Suggestions are sown that cause you to withdraw from other Christians and works on you to think that they reject you. In your isolation, you then feel lonely, hurt, unworthy, rejected by others and angry (see: 2 Corinthians 4:4). He works to divide you from others.


The Spirit sends others to minister to you in love. As a result, you learn to accept other’s words of encouragement and to appreciate one another and their ministry to you. (See: 1 John 1:3; Hebrews 12:1-2; Hebrews 10:24-25.) He sends others to open your eyes to turn from darkness to light so you may receive forgiveness (see: Acts 26:18). He works to unite us in love with other believers (see Luke 22:31-32).

8. The enemy of our faith emphasizes feelings that lead you to feel condemnation:

He tells you that the way you feel is the way things really are, even if facts differ (i.e. feelings are truth!). Your feelings of guilt, despair, hopelessness and doubt of God’s love for you are made to seem real. He encourages feelings of frustration at God’s unfairness and partiality and focuses on half-truths to cajole and control you and acts as a stumbling block to set your mind on your interests above God’s.


Feelings will follow faith in these facts! The Holy Spirit gives you correct doctrine and the whole truth. Learn your theology to avoid being fooled by Satan (see: Romans 16:19). The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth to move, influence and inspire you (see: John 16:13; Matthew 10:26-28; Psalm 19; John 8:45). He will also guide you to set your mind on God’s interest instead of man’s interests. (See: Matthew 16:23; Colossians 3:1-2.)

9. The attack and condemnation of the enemy is destructive and demoralizing:

The object is to get you to curse God to his face (see: Job 2:5). He fills your heart to lie (see: Acts 5:3). He encourages selfish ambition, arrogance, lying, bitterness, jealousy and disorder (see: James 3:13-16).


He disciplines as a loving Heavenly Father (see: Proverbs 3:11-12; Job 5:17; 1 Corinthians 11:32; Hebrews 12:6-11). His wisdom is pure then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy, and unwavering without hypocrisy (see: James 3:17).

10. The Devil accuses:

He accuses you of having committed the unpardonable sin (see: Zechariah 3:1). The adversary is quick to judge and quick to accuse (see: Revelation 12:10).


He states the fact that it is Christ who saved you and continues to keep you (see: 2 Chronicles 34:27-28; 1 John 1:9; Psalm 103.8-13; John 3:17). He reminds you that God is patient and long-suffering (see: Numbers 14:18; Isaiah 30:18).


What is the purpose of the enemy of our faith in accusing and condemning us? It is to draw us away from God and to render us helpless to ourselves and to others! What is the purpose of the Holy Spirit convicting us? It is to draw us to God and to each other and to help us to be all we can be!

The Enemy:

•  Speaks in half-truths
 Pushes, agitates
Emphasizes: “Do, do do…”
– Divides people
Encourages our willfulness against God’s ways
– Tells us we are inadequate
Encourages complaining


•  Is about the whole truth
– Wants us to be anxious for nothing
Emphasizes: “Be, be, be…”
– Unites people
Emphasizes the will of our Heavenly Father
 Empowers us
Encourages contentment

The emphasis is that we’re to study all that God is in the Bible. We need to keep in mind that God is strong and He does not tolerate sin. He is our judge, but He is a fair judge who punishes and disciplines us, always wanting to draw us to Himself  —not push us away from Himself. The devil’s purpose is to pull us away from God and his people. God is straightforward and direct. The enemy is sneaky.

Release Condemnation and Embrace God

It’s important to note something Gary Thomas wrote, based on scripture:

“Whenever you hear the whispers that you are condemned, and must accept ‘punishment’ for your disobedience (financial wreckage, vocational failure, sexual frustration) remind yourself of Romans 8:1: ‘There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Jesus paid the price so we don’t have to.'”

As you go with God, you will push away that, which you should release and embrace that which you should hold onto through his guidance —with His strength.

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article. It is a compilation of points put together after years of personal study of scripture, sermons heard, and insights given through the years from many others who have also studied this subject.

— ALSO —

Below are several web site links to articles giving additional insight into this subject of condemnation vs conviction that we pray will help you further as you read:





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156 responses to “Discerning the Difference Between the Conviction of the Holy Spirit and Condemnation of the Enemy

  1. Hello, My name is Troy and I am a Christian man and I have stumbled and my sin was that I was commenting on this article a Christian article and I responded to this woman’s comment and she is also a Christian and the comment I typed -I can’t fully remember what I said to her but vague details but she seemed to be very offended by it and I never meant for that to happen. At that moment I felt really low, which I deserve for offending her.

    So I wrote back to her and I sincerely apologized and asked for her forgiveness and even sent her a friend request on facebook looking to make amends but she ignored me. I was very sorry for this. I know that THE HOLY SPIRIT had me under heavy conviction on my knees for I was crying my eyes out saying to God I was very sorry for offending this lady. I was on my knees and I REPENTED AND CONFESSED BEFORE GOD AND ASKED FOR HIS FORGIVENESS and I know God forgave me because He always forgives if we confess our sins. I am very grateful for the Holy Spirit who convicts us when we do wrong. I was praying over the last year that God would reveal any sin I was not aware of and I guess He did. Hit me like a hammer. I KNOW HE FORGIVES ME BUT THIS LINGERING GUILT IS ANNOYING.

    1. It is good to admit or confess your sin and I like it when you say God has forgiven you. Take away therefore this element of guilt as it will lead to self destruction and condemnation. Forget the past as you are forgiven.


    1. Praise God He is ministering to your heart in this freeing way! We serve a good, good God who loves us, wants to continually help us, and yes, He convicts us when we do what is wrong, but only to bring us back into living as we should and to be able to fellowship with us. The enemy seeks to condemn, kill, and destroy. Our God is a redeemer! Thank you for encouraging us as you have by writing what you did. We are indeed blessed!

  3. Thank you very much for this article, I’ve been constantly fighting thoughts in my mind and had no way to get out until I read this. Thank you. To God be the Glory!!

    1. We thank God He led you to this article and is using it in your life to help you fight against the enemy of our faith. God always works to try to draw us nearer to Him. “May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” (2 Peter 1:2)

  4. Hi. I’m hoping you can help me with my confusion. I can’t tell if I’m being convicted by both the Holy Spirit and the author of lies. I have been trying to quit nicotine gum for a couple of years; this sin seems to be my biggest focus, trying to stop it. While also wondering if a prophesy given to me by who I thought was the Holy Spirit, is actually a false one. Anyway I decided in January that the prophesy was false and I’m ashamed to say I called the Holy Spirit a liar.

    Well after I called Him that I have experienced all kinds of physical pains. They are starting to subside but now when I try to hear from the Holy Spirit I get really confused with what I’m supposed to be doing. Is it that I offended the Holy Spirit so He doesn’t want to talk to me anymore? Is the gum chewing the reason I’m confused? When I try to quit, I get more pains. I’m utterly confused, I hope you can help me. Thank you kindly.

    1. Monica, I’m not sure. This sounds more like demonic oppression, but I’m not sure. Why do you think that it’s a sin to chew nicotine gum? And why do you focus on it so much? I’m not convinced that God is convicting you of this. Something else is going on here. What I do believe is that God wants you to give your whole heart to Him. He loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. When you focus more on things than on building a relationship with Him, it’s only natural that you will be confused.

      We’re told in the Bible (in 1 John 1:9) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” That is something you can be sure of, and know. God does not lie. He WILL forgive you as you confess and ask for forgiveness. I wholeheartedly recommend that you go to the following page and go in and read what the linked articles have for you there: https://marriagemissions.com/about-us-2/seeking-more/. I believe God will show you as you read through all of this that He is a God who loves you and wants to embrace you, rather than hurt you and reject you. Pray, confess and then ask God for forgiveness for anything you have done wrong that comes to mind, and then focus on God’s love for you. Focus on the good of God, and accept that He will forgive you as you lean into Him.

      Again, please read through those linked articles, and see how God speaks truth to your heart. You can even “chat” with someone by going into one of those links to work through some of the additional questions you will have. By doing these things I believe you will work through the doubt storms you are going through on this whole matter. And may God give you His peace as you do!

  5. Thanks so much for this article. It’s helping me discern the Holy Spirit from Satan in hard times. I’m a newborn Christian with a promise from the Lord that I received by seeking him.

    I’m following God and growing in him so much; I can tell I’m walking on the right path because in Galatians 5:22-23 it talks about the fruits of the Holy Spirit and everything checks out. But the devil keeps on tempting me by giving me a “choking” feeling in my throat or chest, feelings of doubt, being crushed and demoralization as well.

    I used to struggle with “feelings” as you stated in the 8th point, now not so much. I still do but only a bit because I’m growing. I also struggle with “Has God indeed said?” mixed with the devil using scriptures to negative purposes in mind. I’m really glad I found this page!

  6. Hey, How are you? I wanted to know if you can help me to discern if it’s God’s Spirit or the enemy of my soul with the following conviction: I have felt in my heart as I try to go onto “dating websites” that I shouldn’t go on. I’ve -in the past- met plenty of people on them, and plenty of well-intentioned people, as a matter of fact; but when I meet people on there, I never feel good in my heart, and while “I ‘go’ on ‘it'”-A Christian “so-called” dating website, that is- I don’t feel peace. So I exit off and undo my profile.

    But then, when I’m not on it, I feel confused as if it’s isolating me and making me feel “I’m saved” as long as “I don’t go onto ‘dating websites'”, to find my future wife, which makes me feel that I’m not saved by grace, but saved by “works”. That my salvation and pleasing and obeying God is “dependent” upon “me”… and not on the Blood of Jesus on the cross. That it’s dependent on His forgiveness, yes, but on me, remaining in His love, by “not using dating websites” to find my future “spouse”.

    I’ve written this down in my journal/diary a number of times, for over 2 years, and have read this article you wrote now for almost two years, too. And I can’t figure out if this is 1.) the Holy Spirit’s leading or 2.) a false angel of light (devil masquerading as an angel of light).. a demon, trying to “tempt me to legalism”.

    I’ve even believed that as Jesus said in Revelations 2 to church in Thiatira, that “I will place no further burden on you: just hold to what you have”… and with an “internal” message from God that the only “additional” burden is “not to use online dating to find my wife” and that’s the only “burden” HE is laying on me, “to obey”.. and the rest is “easy”. I don’t know, but it really gets my focus off Jesus and onto “am I wrong or right for doing this”…

    I really want to be free. And I don’t want to feel isolated or that my salvation comes with a “string” attached or condition” of whether or not “I go onto a dating website”.

    But nonetheless, I do know that online dating can be hurtful to our neighbours perhaps, because you “chat with people” with whom you may not “really get married to” and this might be hurtful to have to say later on “I’m not really interested in proceeding with you”, or sometimes, people write to you whom you don’t feel attracted to, and this can be hurtful to “just not answer their message”, and if you “do answer” you feel like they think there is a possibility, when I don’t authentically “feel anything”, which is a catch 22, situation or rather a trap, to “love your neighbour as yourself”.

    But if I feel I can’t use it and just be myself and “breathe”, I then I feel like “It’s a rule” and thus legalism and possibly the “letter” and not the Spirit or an open, Blood-covered relationship with God. Can you help me discern these voices?

    Thanks. I want to know what’s the path I can follow in, and go that way, but I don’t want to feel like I’m in legalism either. And I don’t want to feel like I’m in disobedience. So I either can or I can’t and in my heart of hearts, at times I feel like God wants me to challenge the “wind and storm” in m heart and face the brunt of the opposition of “Feelings” from the enemy. Or, if not, then that’s the Holy Spirit saying, “You’re going the wrong way; quit it”.

    But one things is when I do go on: I don’t feel comfortable with God and when I don’t go on sometimes I’m thinking I’m on the wrong path of legalism.

    So both ways, at times I feel either to use it or not to use it “can be wrong”. But when I don’t use it, I get confused to think that “I’m in legalism”. But when I do use it (dating website), my heart “feels uncomfortable” and in disobedience with God.

    What do you think, my dear sibling in Christ? Can you counsel me on this? I can hardly discern which way it is. Even though I tend to believe God just doesn’t want me on it because it helps me to feed my lusts or just sitting like king tut entitled to “a beautiful wife” on nice profile pictures (then again, that sounds quite “hard on myself” and this voice can be the “accuser” too).

    Thanks beforehand. Jesus loves us!

    1. No discernment from anyone here? I would really appreciate it if the owner of this article could try to give me some advice. Thanks! Jesus loves us.

      1. So sorry Stirling, that no one has replied to you yet. I can assure you that I have been praying for you and asking God to show wisdom in how to answer this. Someone will reply soon… either me or someone else. I am praying God will give the right person the leading to answer your plea for advice. Please know we care.

        1. I really appreciate this, Sister. Love you in Jesus! If God you believe tells you, please share. But the prayers are great for now, Sister. Thanks

          1. Whenever I go on, I feel as though I’ve sinned hard against God, like I feel as if I’m committing adultery against God by going on. I feel like I have tarnished our “bed” of communion. For example, I have a prayer bed (especially for being with God), and I went on it while on the website, and I felt like I tarnished it.

            I feel really bad for using it. But at the same time, most Christians will say it’s not a sin to use dating websites. So it’s very confusing. IF this is condemnation from satan, then, I wish God’s voice I could hear HIm a lot louder saying, “I accept you” or something; otherwise, if it really is a temptation from the devil, and a door to evil into my life, then, I really need help now from on high, to resist, from God I need help, and not only to resist, but to forget.

          2. Stirling, I’ve been praying for you. I was hoping someone would come on to this article to answer your comment and your plea for advice that has experienced some of your dating experiences, but so far not. That doesn’t mean that someone won’t, it just means so far not. But I do believe I’m supposed to say something here. First off, please know that I’m definitely not “all knowing” … only God is. But after praying about your situation I believe God has given me a little insight into what you’re talking about in your comment. However, pray about what I’m about to say.

            You talked in your original posting about being confused about going onto dating web sites (Christian or not). After going on them several times you stated that you believe in your heart that you “shouldn’t go on” them. From what I’ve read in the Bible, where there is a spirit of confusion, you need to be wary; God isn’t in it. We’re told in 1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.” If you’re confused about a certain matter then stay away from it.

            It doesn’t matter if it works for others to go onto those web sites; what matters is if you should. What would God have YOU do? Study Romans 14, and you will see that some people were led one way about eating certain meats and others were led differently. But the most important truth there, is how they believed God led them, and NOT passing judgment on others who approached the matter differently. Don’t do things because they make sense to others. And don’t do them because they make sense to you (because human reasoning can definitely be thrown in a wrong direction sometimes), do them because you believe God would have you do it.

            If you don’t have peace in your spirit about going into dating web sites, don’t do it. It’s obviously not for you. And don’t judge others who do. That is for them to discern. Also, don’t limit God that if you don’t go on a dating site you won’t find someone to marry. He can bring someone into your life one way or another. The most important thing is to keep your eyes on the path God has for you as you follow the Lord’s will for your life. Take your eyes off of what others are or aren’t doing, and put them onto what God would have you do. If you discern that you are “sinning hard” against God when you do certain things, then definitely don’t do them.

            Stirling, from what I prayerfully perceive, the enemy of our faith is trying to get your focus off of the love and grace of the Lord and steal the fulfillment and joy that the Lord wants you to have as you follow Him. We’re told that the “joy of the Lord” is our strength. (You can do a Bible study on this.) The enemy wants to rob you of that joy. The mission is to get you confused as to whether you are really saved, and to burden you and make you feel down and defeated as you try to walk with the Lord. Remember, Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Don’t let the accusers try to throw questioning burdens upon you. Run to the Lord and His Word, and He will help you to sort it out.

            It’s not that we won’t experience hard and difficult times in life on this side of heaven. But even in the midst of it all, there will be an underlying peace that God is in control as we seek Him. Take your eyes off of the accusations, and reach out for the peace God can give you. Study God’s word. Find others you can study with; find a good Bible-believing church, and other Believers that can encourage you when you feel confused and burdened. But above all, when you feel confused about certain matters, take it to the Lord; search the scriptures. Pray through the scriptures.

            God will convict us when we’re going on a sinful path; but He will always work to draw us back to Himself. He gives grace and forgiveness as we repent. However, the enemy accuses, attacks, lies, and tries to convince you that you will never be good enough for God and you should just give up trying. Please don’t fall for those accusations. Put your focus upon your love for God, and His Word. As you do, and as you get to know scriptures more and more, you can better discern God’s voice from the enemy’s. God loves you Stirling. Please don’t ever forget that. And don’t let any opposing voice convince you otherwise. Jesus is our Good Shepherd. He knows His own. If you have any doubts as to whether you know Him in a deep, personal way, I encourage you to go into the following link and explore what God wants to tell you: https://marriagemissions.com/about-us-2/seeking-more/. Otherwise, just keep reading His word for guidance and eventually, you will better know His voice, as He knows yours.

            The following are my life scriptures. I am continually led to follow them. It may be a good one for you to put them before you to follow them–especially at this time: “Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable —if anything is excellent or praiseworthy —think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me —put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9)

            I hope this helps Stirling. I pray for the Lord’s peace for you. “It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

          3. My sister Cindy, thanks. I’ve got a great testimony and it is in the video found after this writing. The answer you finally wrote here, and I read today are the very answers God gave me yesterday, January 8th in the early morn and that I made a Youtube video about the same day you wrote this. But today’s the 9th and I’m finally reading your post here.

            When I was reading it, I was frightful: “what if she gives me a different answer to what You, God, have already given to me”? But as I kept on reading I was seeing that your answers from God confirm what God has spoken and showed me seen and heard of in my testimony video. Please watch it and be blessed. You wrote this to me “after” I had been given my confirmation the same day-before you wrote it-, which only means that God used you to “extra-confirm it” to me!!!

            Thanks, and love you guys! You guys have been in my life (through this very webpage, this exact article) since the begininning of my 2020 experience and trial THAT IS NOW OVER. I’m glad God has allowed it to come to this great, grand finale of this trial period that is finally over.

            Please watch and be encouraged by my filmed testimony:

          4. Thanks for sharing this with us. I can see how this testimony helps with the questions you’ve been battling with. He gives good guidance; it’s obviously from the Holy Spirit. So glad God has been ministering to you in this situation, and that God let me be a part of His ministry on this issue. I hope you will reach out to this guy. He’s right on about the accountability part and having other like-minded people to pray with you and for you.

            I pray the best for you that God leads you into righteousness and helps you to continually walk in His will. If you are to marry someday, saving yourself with a pure heart that is wholly sold out to God is the best gift you can give your bride. “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” (Colossians 1:11)

          5. My sister, I love you in the Lord Jesus Christ and your help has been a true milestone in my life! God bless you. I know that God’s going to keep me faithful and loving Him and restore all the joy of His salvation to my steps as He’s already doing and He’s shown me that the reason He never made it a “black and white ‘rule'” to not use the internet, but rather allowed me to feel the “not so good feeling” is exactly because of that: it’s our relationship, and a relationship isn’t about “rules” but rather about feeling each other’s heartbeats and what pleases or doesn’t the other person. And learning to make wise choices and according to Romans Chapter 14, when we don’t feel peace, and absolute “certainty” about doing something and doubts about it being a sin, to not do it then, because it’s not good, and don’t try to reason it into being OK.

            Just understand that this is God’s leading and His gentle yoke and the way He leads me as His beloved Son and with His easy yoke!… Thanks to the LORD! I love you guys, you, kind Cindy, and all my family in Christ. Love my family in Christ! God bless you, and all you guys! I am bound to fly, and fly high in Christ in great joy and peace now, thanks to the LORD!

          6. Thank you Stirling for allowing me to be a part of God’s miracle in your life. Of course, my husband Steve has been praying for you too behind the scenes and has been concerned for you. We rejoice with you that God is talking to you and is ministering to you in the issues that you have been struggling with. Thank you for your kind words. I/we love you in the Lord too and are excited to believe God for you that He will lead and you will follow Him to amazing ministry opportunities. God bless you Stirling. May He continually speak into your life and may you be blessed all the more as you follow His leading!

            “May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory for ever and ever.” (Hebrews 13:20-21)

          7. Sister, Cindy,

            I wanted to know: if I had met somebody last year through the internet and I reached out to her lately again and she was glad that I got in touch with her and she would like to continue talking with me, do you think God would allow me to, or maybe not since I “had met” her through “that means,” which by this time, “could have been” the wrong way—I repeat, could have been—?

            Because in my heart of hearts, I feel better in conscience if God blesses me with a woman without using the internet. But I already had met her and we stopped talking for a few months. But if we carried on talking, even though the root of our meeting was “the way it was” (the way I described in all the above writing), do you think God would —even though, she’s a total Christian woman? She loves Jesus; I know she does, and she’s full of the Holy Ghost! Do you think God would still hold her off from me because that I had met her that way?

            I ask, because, if I hold to talking to her, then, I feel like my conscience didn’t stick totally to the “not using internet way”, and I actually will have … “don’t it” and if I got married, and my children asked how we had met, and I think that “I’m not to use it” yet we met “that way” I feel like this would be confusing. Therefore, my conscience would feel straighter and cleaner and more upright, if I meet my wife, from outside (of the internet). Do you reckon I can keep meeting her, or I can’t/shouldn’t because of the way we first met?

            I’ve tried myself, but, I don’t hold a steady peace about it. Let me reassure you, She’s an awesome woman. She loves God, FOR REAL. She loves GOD, a whole lot. And well, I’ve been a little shaky of whether or not I would be able to love her, too. But I know God can redeem what was done in ¨sin¨: meeting on the internet, possibly.

          8. Hi Stirling, I can well understand why you feel a bit puzzled over this whole situation. Of course you know that I don’t know everything, but after praying about this I’ll give you my prayerful impressions. But pray about what I’m writing. Ultimately, all of this is your decision between you and the Lord. First off, like I said previously, I don’t see anything wrong with Internet dating. I know of some great Christian relationships that have resulted from that platform. So, in itself, I don’t see a problem with it unless the intention of the heart was wrong and stays wrong. If it’s to troll around finding girls to pick up and take advantage of… then that’s definitely sinful. But if the intent is just to meet someone with like values and see if it eventually leads to something serious, or even just leads to a good friendship, then that seems pure enough.

            But if you don’t feel right about it at this time in your life, then don’t do it. I don’t believe that it’s wrong, it’s just not for you–at least at this time. Be prayerful about it. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it in the future if you believe God has opened that door. Just keep praying about it. However, do what you believe God would have you.

            As for this relationship, again, I don’t see a problem with it. You knew her from before and it wasn’t a toxic relationship, plus, your intentions appear to be good. You’re both looking for the leading of Christ. You can’t go wrong with that. All of the “what if’s” can go a lot of different ways. I’m thinking that you’re putting too much energy and stress into all of that. “If” anything comes of all of that, the important thing is what is the intentions of your heart? Is it to hurt her, or bless her? Is it to shut God out of whatever relationship you might develop, or is it to include Him?

            As a single, young man you will never feel totally “straight and clean.” You will have to fight certain urges. But that’s true of all of us. Sin comes knocking at our door all the time. That doesn’t mean that we have to invite it in. It’s a continual battle on this side of Heaven. But if you both love the Lord, then ask for His leading. Take it nice and slow and be prayerful and careful.

            Steve and I met on the phone. He was a disc jockey at our college radio station (we weren’t saved at the time). I came back from a bad date one night and Steve was on the air begging for people to call in for song requests. I finally called in, we talked (for over an hour off the air) and made a “date” for me to come to the radio station for a tour of the facilities. We ended up really hitting it off and 2 1/2 years later we married.

            Now, we can look back and think that our “beginnings” were not God lead so maybe that made it wrong. But through God’s amazing grace, we both eventually came to a saving knowledge of Christ and have lived for Him ever since. Our 50th wedding anniversary is coming up in March. We are blessed indeed! We had a rocky start, but because of God’s leading, we are more in love with Him and with each other than we can ever describe! Sketchier beginnings don’t have to stay sketchy. We’ve been in full time ministry for most of those years and are still going strong. I just wanted to tell you that so you can see another side of all of this.

            But right now, pray about your situation. If you feel a check in your spirit not to go on, then don’t. I don’t believe it’s because it’s because you’re doing anything wrong, but if you do, then don’t. I’d say to just keep praying and proceeding very slowly. … That would be my prayerful take on all of this. I hope it helps in some way. Please know that Steve and I have been praying for you and know that God will keep you on our hearts for a long, long time.

            “To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by His power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 1:11-12) May God bless you as you look to Him for His leading!

          9. Hey, Sister Cindy! My last question is something that has to do with somebody I met that way. Do you have any idea about what you think I should believe from God towards the last issue, Sister (that I just had put on the last message.)? If you do, thanks and God bless you! – Stirling

          10. Hi Stirling, I was going to answer your comment earlier today, but we had major computer problems so our computers were tied up for the entire day until all of it was resolved. We just got them back. And right now, Steve and I are racing to play catch up with other Marriage Missions ministry concerns that involve our computers. So, I’ll have to answer your comment tomorrow. Sorry for the delay. But that will give me some more time to pray about your questions and my answer (which I have been praying about at different times throughout the day). But I promise you that I will as soon as I can. I definitely haven’t forgotten the questions you posed to me. Please know that Steve and I love your heart. You really want to do what God would have you do, and that is commendable.

          11. No, I’m thankful if you answer, whenever you can. God bless you guys with that. And may it be God’s will. Thanks for praying first.

          12. Thanks, Sister. I really appreciate it. I’m going to remain in prayer about this, especially since I have doubts about it. I can’t see myself diving into it right away. Thanks so much. I love you and your husband a lot in Christ, and maybe God will show me differently or prove to me otherwise. Congratulations on your upcoming 50 years of marriage! That is just wonderful!

            Pray that God either illuminates me to go on with her, or not, and thanks! I just don’t want to hurt her for not being sure about something and all the while “proceeding”, and then have to retreat again. That can hurt her or anyone, I know.

          13. Sister Cindy, Please pray for me. I’ve been struggling with Jesus in obeying His commandment to me to not use the internet to find a wife. I keep on going on and doing it. And I think His warning signs are getting stronger and stronger to “stop doing it”. Please pray for me. I keep on going back and forth, on it and off it. I want to fear Him. I believe He’s given me this verse about this issue now: Proverbs 13:13

            Because my desire for a wife is a woman whom I like physically when I’ve been on (the internet), and when I’ve been off (it), too, I’ve been told I’m very physically oriented because I want a woman with a big “butt” and I have been told that this is “carnal”. I don’t know because the last time I read Song of Songs it says: Song of Songs 7:1 – New International Version
            7 [a]How beautiful your sandaled feet,
            O prince’s daughter!
            Your graceful legs are like jewels,
            the work of an artist’s hands.

            So I find it’s not wrong to really have a taste for a woman’s butt for a liking. And this is how I desire my future wife.

            I need real help, Sister, to know if God approves of the desires of my heart, and secondly, I don’t know how to change them. I have a liking for a big butt. Is this wrong or carnal to ask God for this in my future wife?

          14. Hi, Stirling. This is Steve, Cindy’s husband and I’d like to reply to your post. Personally, I can’t imagine Jesus giving a “commandment” to not use the Internet to find a wife. I think you are projecting your own uneasiness onto Jesus. I’m also not sure how you are applying Proverbs 13:13 to this situation because I sincerely doubt that you “despise the Word of God.” To me it sounds like you are giving in to the condemnation of the devil again. I would suggest you go to your pastor and share with him about your struggles. It’s always good to get the counsel of another Godly man.

            Regarding your desire for a woman with a “big butt” I see nothing wrong with that either. You quoted a good verse to back up your desire. Now, it could be carnal IF you weren’t filtering that desire through the Bible. You do have to be careful not to obsess over it. After all, you need to surrender your desires to God’s perfect will for you regarding the woman He may have for you. Remember, if you’re all tied up in knots, emotionally or otherwise, this is not from God. So, be careful not to listen to the devil. In fact, when you start feeling condemned in the future, rebuke the enemy of our faith. And claim the Blood of Christ that cleanses you from all sin and tell the devil (out loud) to leave you alone because you won’t listen to him anymore.

            I hope this helps you get to the place God wants you to be—in perfect peace with Him. (John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid [condemned].”) Blessings!

          15. Thanks, Brother Steve. I really appreciate what you’ve said. And I must pay attention to it and pray to God. I don’t really feel like God’s against me wanting a woman with a ¨big ‘butt’¨; I know if He made some women to have such a butt, He would have made some men to like such, so we can be attracted to them.

            But the reason why I’ve been able to see it more like, possibly a Spirit led ‘commandment’ is based on verses like “all is permissible but not all builds up.” If my “eating meat destroys a person for whom Jesus died on the cross, then I won’t eat meat anymore” (to not offend).

            And for other areas is Mathew 6:22, where Jesus says, “if your eye is single your whole body will be full of light.” And I have felt that by using the dating websites, I incur on these 2 errors: 1.) offending my neighbour and hurting them by writing what I’m looking for (physically, a woman with a big butt, no children, no tattoos, etc.—true desires). And if any woman looks at my profile and thinks, “Oh, what a nice man,” but then sees what I want they may feel like they are not “qualified” or are discarded by me. This, I ASSUME, could/would be offensive to the women who don’t think they have such a big butt or for women with tattoos or children—besides the spiritual characteristics, which I “forewrite”, which many “possibly ‘do’ qualify for”.

            The other reason (and what I believe to be the most important reason) is: having single eyes for Jesus. Since a wife is such a big life goal and desire in my life, I feel that the intentionality of using the internet to find a wife really gets my heart focused on such, and by such, the verses in the Bible in Mathew 6 where Jesus says: “You can’t have two masters, you will either serve one or the other, or prefer One and be negligent of the other”, and “where your treasure is, there is your heart.”

            So, now, “me”, using the internet to find what I desire in a wife, both in a spiritual, physical and soul sense is to focus my heart on ‘earthly things’ and what I want, which ultimately makes it a rival of God’s place in my heart and —in my heart, what I believe or feel to be “self-idolatry, possibly convicted by God’s Spirit, and thus the “wooing or commandment” as I so bluntly see it. Since a wife is such a “high” thing in my heart which I desire, therefore it “rivals” against God. This is where I’ve felt—both for the “single eye” (Mathew 6:22) on Jesus’ “flaming eyes of fire” (Revelations 2:18), “locked into” His gaze —as what He’s jealous of and what He’s seen as a competition to my “gaze” by possibly—idolatry—, then, of wanting to find a wife, “so intentionally”, by using “internet”.

            So 1.) because my eyes would be distracted from God (Mathew 6.22) and by, 2.) pre-supposedly, offending my neighbor’s self-esteem (women’s) —possibly— by writing or letting the public (on the dating website) “know” specifically what I want and thus making evident on my “written profile” on the site that “some of them” would be discarded by me since they wouldn’t qualify for my likings and choices that this is why I’ve felt that it’s absolute disobedience to Him and ultimately placing the earth above God in my life and running over people’s heads to “get what I desire” even if it hurts people’s consciences for what they suppose is a Godly man or the reputation of God on the earth: taking His name in vain which is a high-cost sin.

            But I would lie if I didn’t tell you there is a strange feeling of “forced-ness” with all this and possibly “legalism”.

            I’m basically afraid that it’s idolatry in my heart and a false god since my desire is highly set on their beauty because I want a woman with a big butt and because this can possibly tarnish my testimony since women will possibly think something like: “And this is a Christian man, wanting so many conditions for his wife? I thought Christian men love with the unconditional love of God and wouldn’t be so judgmental or discriminating in their search for a wife.”

          16. Stirling. Thanks for the additional clarification of your thought process concerning this issue. And from what you shared, at this point it would seem to me that as long as you are filtering everything through the Word of God…and following a conviction from the Holy Spirit you should prayerfully think about taking a “sabbatical” from the Internet (in looking for a potential mate) for a while. I wouldn’t think this would need to be permanent; but for a period of time so you can spend time in prayer and ask God to reveal how He would want you to pursue a relationship.

            Have you ever tried finding a Christian singles group in your area? I know you could do a search just by entering “Christian singles groups in (name of your geographic location).” It is ALWAYS better to start face-to-face connections because people can “paint” themselves in a much better light on line than when they’re in person. And I will reiterate commit to God your preferences for the type of woman you want to meet, but then end your prayer with, “But, not my will be done; may it be your will God, because you know who would be best for me.” If you were to ask for my recommendation as to how long to “fast” from dating sites I would say to make it a 30 day fast/sabbatical. Then at the end of the 30 days seek God’s direction as to whether you should do another search for the kind of woman you are attracted to.

            And one more thing I will repeat is to find another godly man (pastor or close friend) whom you can make yourself accountable to and to get some good counsel. If you keep God first, you can’t go wrong. ~Steve

          17. I appreciate your advice, kind Steve.

            Although, I find that it will be permanent because I’ve been basically fasting and a sabbatical from it with a few “falls” going back to it, for the last few years. And whenever I think the fast is over and I have tried to go back on, I don’t feel any rest with it. So, it seems like a permanent will of God for me, not to use (that).

            I don’t think I told you guys that I even made a vow/oath to God to not use it too, and this adds to the equation a further weight of guilt for any breakage of it. I did it, because I felt like He didn’t like me on it, and it had become so addictive that I thought a vow would help me to stick to it; which I’ve broken, ends in and ends out -many times- but I know that it’s through His might.

            I don’t think I can really do it. Besides the vow/oath, whenever I try to go on it, for example, a couple weeks ago, I went on, and then I cleaned my phone of storage and when it was “cleaned” it said, 66.6 mg have been eliminated; and I thought and felt convicted that it was God showing me that I’m on the “rebellion” path by being on this.

            And yesterday when I got your message that you believed that I could go on it, I began to write my profile out (for the dating website), and then without paying attention to the amount of words or characters I had been using, I looked below and guess which number (of used characters) I saw in the format: 666. I was, like: “What?” I stopped in my tracks, took a screenshot, sent it to a friend and fell on my knees, basically.

            Right now I’m afraid to use it because I’m afraid I can literally fall into an eternal snare by going onto it where Jesus is saying that my heart might “depart” from God if I kept going on the dating websites. So between vows and 666 signs popping up, I’m scared out of my wits to use these dating websites and I don’t wish to mess up my eternity because of them. Eyes locked only on my Prince, Jesus, seems to be the Right Way: onto Jesus alone: Mathew 6:22.

          18. Dear Brother Steve and Sister Cindy, I love you guys a whole lot in Christ. I have struggled yet with this, and with what I wrote—lastly—are true and hard reality of things that have happened. Now whether it’s God’s Spirit or the enemy, I yet battle with as to: Who and what? But all your words have been of high advice and I’m still between either ¨trying to forget it all¨ or discerning as to ¨whether I can advance and be practical and find me my baby¨! Yet, Just keep me in prayer.

            Thanks, Steve, for your last writings. That may just be what God wants me to know; at least many of the things you wrote are totally true. Plenty of them all! So thanks! Love you guys and keep sticking to praying for me on this topic! I’m sorry for not getting back sooner! How was your marriage anniversary?

  7. I have been struggling since 12 and now am 17 with the feeling of condemnation. Everytime I try to get closer to God, it feels almost impossible because of the feeling and guilt that I have committed the unpardonable sin. I want to live for Jesus but the feeling of not being forgiven because of committing the unpardonable sin has choked me and pulled me farther from God.

    There were late nights where I stayed up weeping my heart out. I am so scared. This made me feel a little better. God bless! It would be nice if you could respond to me.

    1. Hey, Ember, how are you? I’m not Sister Cindy, but I’m sure she will answer soon.

      I just want to let you know that … if you feel the desire to follow after Jesus, then, that’s a glow and an awesome sign you’re with Jesus. Rejoice in your new identity in Christ. Just say to yourself and “KNOW” that: 1.) I’m a “daughter of God, permanent in His House. 2.) Don’t work (meaning don’t make rules in order to believe you can earn this position to “be” his beloved daughter). It’s not by works we’re saved. Just relax in His arms…. He loves you and me.

      1. How have you been doing with this, Sister? Are you believing better and posterior to that “feeling better”? Jesus loves you!

        1. Honestly, I’m still doubtful of whether or not I’ve committed the unpardonable sin sister. I just want to be with Jesus and it hurts feeling like I’m not going to be forgiven.

        2. You’re welcome. Jesus loves me and you. Let’s relax in His love and follow His loving leading daily. He’s there and wants us to remain and always be “there”/”present” with Him: available. We’re His. This is Stirling, a brother in the Lord. God bless you, dear Ember.

        1. How have you been, kind Ember? Is all well? We must know Jesus loves us! We must believe this! This is the gospel! If we forget this part, we would perish. Please believe till the end. Believe in the everlasting GOODNESS of GOD, Sister, OK! be strong and believe. Ask for His warmth to cover you over like a blanket by believing the TRUTH!

  8. This article sheds light on a lot of things for me. I was a Preacher of the Gospel and a Baptist evangelist for 9 years. I got really hurt in church and strayed from God. Yesterday, Easter Sunday, was the first time I have been in church in 2 years. The whole time I was there, I felt a tug on my heart that I couldn’t explain. I had preached no conviction, no conversion for years and wondered if I was feeling that same conviction I had preached about for so long. I’m sitting here a day later wondering if I’m really saved or not. I know the enemy will do everything in his power to keep someone from either coming to Christ the first time or from coming back to Christ. Any thoughts on what I’m feeling?

    1. Hunter, I don’t know if you ever had a personal relationship with Jesus or not, or if your relationship was more on your own terms. Perhaps it was; perhaps it wasn’t. Only you and the Lord can know that. But I do know that no matter what WAS–your going to the Lord, pouring your heart out to Him, confessing every sin that you need to, and asking the Lord to guide your actions from this point on as you lovingly follow Him, can change your present and future walk. He will clean the slate and give you the opportunity to live a new life in Him.

      Get into God’s word as you never did before–not to preach it with words to others but to live it in all you do from this day forward. And don’t let the enemy of your faith take you for a “thought ride.” That’s a perilous journey that won’t take you to a good place. Don’t entertain the adversary in looking back at your past, and dwelling there. Stand upon the truth in Philippians 3:12-14. Here’s a link to other scriptures on putting your past behind you: https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-for-putting-the-past-behind-you/. Focus on the freedom you can live in Christ as you come, confess, and follow Christ. He does not throw your past up to you after you have confessed it to Him (only the enemy does that) but compels you to live in newness of life as you put your focus on Him and the ways in which He wants to lead you.

      Something that we have been loving is watching the video series, “The Chosen.” There are 2 seasons that are out currently (with the 3rd being filmed soon) that are based on the life of Christ and those He chose to follow Him. Trust me, this is no Hollywood production. It’s all closely based on the Bible. But it’s thought-provoking, in a good way. You can find it for free on YouTube (and other places) by putting in the term “The Chosen.” Start with Season 1 Episode 1, and then go from there. Steve and I have loved the Lord for many years now, and have loved His word, the Bible. But this gives an added dimension to our walk with the Lord. It’s hard to describe until you see this series. We highly recommend that you do so. But, of course, first and foremost–talk to the Lord, and dive into the Word of God. Yes, you were an evangelist for several years. But this journey is a bit different for you. This is to get your feet firmly planted upon the truths that God’s Word proclaims so YOU experience it in every way.

      I’m thinking God is reaching out to you saying, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” I believe the Lord wants you to learn from Him on a whole new level. He wants your whole heart, your love, and your devotion to live for Him–not to burden you (as the enemy would want) but to enlighten you and give you peace. The whole world can swirl around you, and yet you can still experience His peace, if you keep your focus on Him and His promises.

      I pray for you Hunter. I pray God’s peace for you as you seek Him on this new journey in your walk with the Lord. “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11) Truly, “May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” (2 Peter 1:2)

  9. Hello – I have commented in this post a couple of years ago. I just wanted to say how much of a blessing this article continues to be in my life. Many a time my mind will be spinning and I will think I need to go back and re-review the article Cindy wrote on discerning God’s voice vs the enemy. I have it bookmarked and review it often. :) Thank you for your wonderful ministry – May God richly bless you.

    1. Thank you Jeff for your encouraging words. It is confirmation that God lead in writing this because of the ways it keeps ministering. Thank you for letting us know how it has and is helping you. This means so much to us and warms our hearts. May God receive all the glory! And may you continue to gain victory over all the enemy tries to throw at you!

  10. I have been praying for discernment for a particular sin for almost a year and just when I feel peace, I don’t… I have been married for over 30 years and about 15 years ago I had inappropriate thoughts about two different men (not sexual but just a crush, he’s so handsome, charming, etc). I never acted on those thoughts though I did flirt with these guys. One was a guy I would see at the gym. The other was a friend of my husband and I.

    This “friend” dropped by our house one day when my husband was not there to talk. Nothing happened, but it was awkward. He also called and asked me out to lunch and I declined and told him it was wrong for him to call. I never heard from him again. I have felt shame over these events and have confessed with all my heart to God.

    I don’t know if I need to confess these thoughts to my husband. I can’t remember the events clearly. Did I tell my husband our friend dropped by? I truly don’t remember. I definitely didn’t tell him I was attracted to these two guys. If I tell him now, 15 years later, it will hurt him and cause him to doubt himself. Five years ago, I turned my life around and began to earnestly follow Jesus. I don’t want anything to stand between me and God. So, I say all that to say, is this sin that I’ve confessed to God coming up again because God is convicting me to tell my husband or is it Satan stealing my peace?

  11. This article has COMPLETELY CHANGED MY LIFE!!!!THANKYOU!!! PRAISE THE LORD for setting me free using your article to open my eyes to the truth. I have been under so much condemnation and accusation see sawing between relief and trust in Jesus and back down into basically all the lies you stated!! Jesus describes himself as gentle and a bruised reed he will not break. This was the light He had revealed already to me but it’s so wonderful to get clarity Holy Spirit convicts specifically!! And to be able to ask myself is destroying me away from God, or to God! Because when the shame is too much from all the accusations about mostly persons and current inadequacies, I seek refuge and chocolate instead of the Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this.

    1. We agree! Thank you Jesus, for inspiring this and getting the message through to those who need it and have needed it (including us). In Christ we can stand strong knowing that we are loved. God will never leave us or forsake us! Even after we sin, if we are repentant and “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) And then He will lead us back to Himself. He IS our Shepherd!

      Thank you Jo, for letting us participate in the victory the Lord has lead you to and will continue to lead you through, no doubt! “May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” (2 Peter 1:2)