I’m not thinking the couple in this illustration is doing much of anything exciting together. But at least they’re doing SOMETHING together. It is more than many couples do together after they marry. Of course, this is with the exception of doing things with and for their children. But that’s not what this blog is about. I encourage you to do things together that can help you grow your marriage relationship. I encourage you to find something to dream about together. And then you make it happen.
It’s strange how many fun and interesting things we’ll do together before we marry. But after we say, “I do” we don’t.
Live the Dream Together
Yes, we’ll do projects around the house together. And we’ll do things for the children (once we have them). Plus we’ll do things with others; but that’s about it. We forget to continue to date each other and do fun things together. We forget to do things that cause us to smile together, as we used to do before we married. That shouldn’t be! Just because we have a marriage license, it doesn’t mean that our relationship will automatically grow in a good direction. As a matter of fact, it’s usually just the opposite.
Without making good deposits into your relationship, everyday pressures will eventually drain out the good you had going for you previously. This will leave you bored and discontented as a couple. That’s when spouses say they have “grown apart.” That is because they didn’t do what it takes to make sure their love relationship is still growing. There’s no excuse for this. They allowed their priorities to get out of whack. Please don’t let that happen to your relationship.
With all my heart I’m encouraging you to:
DO SOMETHING… TOGETHER.
We have a lot of suggestions in the Romantic Ideas topic that you can glean from. Just pick one out a week or so, to try. Each article has several suggestions that you can try. And we keep adding more and more. So keep checking back.
You don’t have to do anything that is exciting to anyone else. Just make sure both of you are happy with it. Who cares what others think? Make sure both of you feel satisfied. It can as simple as taking a walk together. You could take a drive or a hike together. Or it could be that you have a pizza and watch a movie together. What counts is that you both are happy with that type of connection. But try to mix it up. And keep it going. However, most importantly, just DO SOMETHING… TOGETHER.
This is what helped you to grow in love with each other. You did things together. Just keep it going now to keep it growing. Love needs to be continually fed.
PLAY Something… TOGETHER.
Find a sport you both like to watch or play together. Play board games with each other. Or you can find a few couples who will play cards, or bowl together with you. Have fun; infuse fun… and look for fun things you can do together so you laugh with one another. Laughter will expand your loving feelings for each other.
Steve and I love to watch funny movies together. We watch for funny things on the Internet to share with each other. We also like to share in reading funny comic books. A few of them are: Calvin and Hobbs, The Far Side, Herman… etc. We now have a whole collection of them. And we read them over and over again, laughing each time. When things get too serious, we find something to read, watch, play, or do together that will make us laugh. It’s true that laughter really IS good medicine. So, look for ways to laugh and PLAY SOMETHING… TOGETHER.
DREAM Something TOGETHER.
The Bible says, “where there is no vision, the people perish.” I believe (and so do most marriage educators and experts) that when a couple forgets to keep dreaming and planning together about things that excite them both, their marriage is in danger of perishing.
It could be planning dream vacations and/or get-aways together. It could be going on mission trips together. This could be short term and/or long term trips. It could be planning on building a dream home together. Even if you never build it, at least you enjoyed planning it. It could be mentoring other couples together. You can help some young couples that need it.
Steve and I dreamed and planned out how to pay off our home mortgage and be totally out of debt. Little by little, dollar by dollar we planned and worked on it. And several years ago we accomplished it. It took a lot of sacrifice. But it sure was worth it!
So now we have gone on to other dreams.
A Dream Come True
That’s part of the reason why we’re working together on the mission of marriage, through Marriage Missions. It all started with praying together, talking about it, and dreaming. And now we’re participating with God amazing ways that have exceeded our dreams. It has been a great journey. And it all started with a prayer and a God-inspired dream.
Ask God for a dream that you can enjoy talking about and working through together. This can infuse excitement into your marriage relationship. With all our hearts we encourage you to:
Do something TOGETHER.
Play something TOGETHER.
And dream TOGETHER.
Do you get the TOGETHER part of this blog? Please don’t neglect your relationship. Be intentional in feeding it. And fill it with that, which will grow your love for each other, as you grew it before you married.
And if you’ve grown apart, then invest in your marriage again. Make sure you show love and care to each other with intentionality. Also, try to out-serve each other. You’ll be amazed at how little by little love will start to sprout up. And then you give love a way to grow in ways that you never imagined. That’s what happened with us. That’s what has happened with many other couples we know. And we believe it can happen for you too.
But most importantly, if you have a spouse who will participate with you:
If not together, at least pray FOR each other. Just make sure you start with prayer. As you do that, the other activities in togetherness can come more naturally, as God inspires you.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
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Filed under: Marriage Blog