I’m not thinking the couple in this illustration is doing much of anything exciting together. But at least they’re doing SOMETHING together. This is more than way too many couples will do together after they married. Of course, this is with the exception of doing things with and for their children. But that’s not what this blog is about. I’m talking about doing some things together that just may help grow your relationship as a married couple. It is also about finding something you can dream about together, and then make it happen.
It’s strange how active we will be in doing fun and interesting things together before we marry. But after we say, “I do” we don’t.
Live the Dream Together
Yes, we’ll do projects around the house together, and we’ll do things for the children (once we have them), and we’ll do things here and there with others, but that’s about it. We forget to date each other and do fun things together. These are things that will cause us to smile together, as we used to do before we married. That shouldn’t be. Just because we have a marriage license, it doesn’t mean that our relationship will automatically grow in a good direction. As a matter of fact, it’s usually just the opposite.
Without making good deposits into your relationship, everyday pressures will eventually drain out the good you had going for you previously, and leave you bored and discontented with the way things are going for you as a couple. That’s when spouses say they have “grown apart.” The reason for that is because they didn’t do what it takes to make sure their love relationship is still growing. There’s no excuse for this. They allowed their priorities to get out of whack. Please don’t let that happen to your marriage relationship.
With all my heart I’m encouraging you to:
DO SOMETHING… TOGETHER.
We have a lot of suggestions in the Romantic Ideas topic that you could glean from. Just pick one out a week or so to try. Each article and blog has more than one suggestion (sometimes many), that you can try. (We keep adding more and more from time to time.)
It doesn’t have to be anything exciting to anyone else, as long as both of you are happy with it, and feel satisfied. It can be taking a walk together, having a pizza and watching a movie together (as long as you both are happy with that type of connection), and/or taking a drive. Mix it up. Keep it going, but most importantly, just DO SOMETHING… TOGETHER.
PLAY Something… TOGETHER.
Find a sport you both like. Play board games, or get a few couples together who will play cards, or bowl with you. Have fun… infuse fun… look for fun things you can do together so you laugh with one another.
Steve and I love to watch funny movies together. We watch for funny things on the Internet to share together. We also like to read funny comic books, like Calvin and Hobbs, The Far Side, Herman… etc. So now, we have a whole collection of them and can read them over and over again, laughing each time. When things get too serious, we find something to do to read, or watch, or play, or do together that will make us laugh. Laughter really IS good medicine. PLAY SOMETHING… TOGETHER.
DREAM Something TOGETHER.
The Bible says, “where there is no vision, the people perish.” I believe (and so do most marriage educators and experts) when the couple forgets to keep dreaming and planning together about things that excite them both, their marriage is in danger of perishing.
It could be planning dream vacations and/or get-aways together. It could be going on mission trips together. This could be short term and/or long term trips. It could be planning on building a dream home together. Even if you never build it, you just enjoy planning it. It could be mentoring other couples together, planning how you will do it to help out some of these young couples that need it.
Steve and I dreamed and planned out how to pay off our mortgage and be totally out of debt. It’s something we have now accomplished. Little by little, dollar by dollar we planned and worked on it. And now we’ve gone on to other dreams.
A Dream Come True
That’s part of the reason why we’re working together on the mission of marriage, through Marriage Missions. It started with praying together, talking about it, and dreaming. And then as we’ve been inspired, we’re now participating with God in bigger ways in all of this. Its been a great journey, which started with a prayer and a dream.
Ask God for a dream that you can enjoy talking about and working through together, and it will infuse excitement into your marriage relationship.
Do something TOGETHER.
Play something TOGETHER.
Do you get the TOGETHER part of this blog? Don’t neglect your relationship. Be intentional in feeding it and filling it with that, which will grow your love for each other, as you were growing it before you married.
If you’ve grown apart, then invest in your marriage again, and show love and care to each other with intentionality. Try to out-serve each other. You’ll be amazed at how little by little love will start to sprout up and grow in ways that you never imagined.
And most importantly, if you have a spouse who will participate in this:
If not together, at least FOR each other. Start with prayer. As you do that, the other activities in togetherness can come more naturally, as God inspires you.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
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Filed under: Marriage Blog