When your spouse has been away for a while, how enthusiastic is your “hello greeting” to him or her? Does he or she sense that you are glad to be together again? We’re hoping your answer is “yes!” Giving each other warm greetings is vitally important in loving and healthy marriages. We even touched on this in the past Marriage Insight: How Do You Greet Your Spouse? But we want to send along another friendly reminder because of its importance.
This point came to mind again when we came across the following marriage tip from Becca of The Dating Divas. They refer to greeting husbands, but the same principle applies to greeting wives, as well (so change the pronouns, if applicable):
“Look Up and Light Up! Basically it means that when you’ve been apart from your spouse and he comes home – STOP what you are doing, look up and ‘light up.’ Let him see you smile and let him see that you’re glad he’s back. If you can, go greet him at the door and give him a big hug and a kiss. If you can’t, you can still look up and light up with your face. It’s such a small thing, but the way that we look at and welcome home our spouse can have a big effect on how loved they feel and can set a mood and tone for the rest of the evening.”
In Greeting Your Spouse
Small gestures can make a big difference in the health of our marriages. Before marriage, you most likely greeted each other in enthusiastic ways; didn’t you? We’re encouraging you to keep up with those warm greetings. Your spouse still needs to feel like he or she is important to you. A wedding certificate didn’t change that need. So this is a friendly reminder to not allow familiarity to sabotage the loving way you greet each other. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Be intentional in greeting your spouse in loving, and even lavish ways that will make both of you smile.
When he or she enters your home after being gone for a while, show that you care. Show by your words and body language that you’re glad he or she has reentered into your world together. Greet your spouse with even more enthusiasm than you greet other people. That’s the least you can do for “the love of your life.” And here’s some additional advice given by Angie Makes:
“And if you are the one coming home—find your spouse first. Before your kids, before your dog, and certainly before your phone. Spouse first.”
Make your greeting a good one!
As Stephen and Alex Kendrick point out, “A good greeting sets the stage for positive and healthy interaction. Like love, it puts wind in your sails.” And it does. They also make another important point:
“Your greeting and expressions of love don’t have to be bold and dramatic every time. But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate’s heart in subtle, unspoken ways.”
So light up your greeting with your spouse whenever it’s possible. Make sure your spouse knows you are enthusiastic to see him or her again after you’ve been apart. As counselor, Laura Marshall recommends:
“When you first see each other at the end of your respective days, before you do anything else, hold each other without speaking for at least 60 seconds. By doing so you remind each other’s brains that you are a source of pleasure and comfort. It’s simple, it’s easy to do, and it will make a world of difference.”
And Here’s a Bonus Tip:
When one or both of you are leaving home, give your spouse a meaningful kiss to leave a lasting impression. Marriage expert, Dr. John Gottman gives the following advice to couples, “Don’t leave home without a kiss that lasts six seconds.” He also says, “A six-second kiss is a kiss with potential. It’s a kiss worth coming home to.” SO TRUE!
We encourage you to build upon your love for one another.
Cindy and Steve Wright
For those of you who are waiting for the release of our digital book, “7 ESSENTIAL TIPS to GROW Your Marriage” … there has been a slight delay. We’re hoping it will be next week, but stay tuned! We’ll let you know when it is ready.
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Filed under: Marriage Insights