We’ve quoted this anonymous person many times, but it bears continual repeating (because it’s true). Someone once said, “It’s not what you live through that’s important, but what you learn through.” And one thing we’ve learned A LOT through in our married life together is what others have lived through and have passed on for others (us) to learn through also. That’s why we greatly value marriage quotes that teach. We’re continually gathering them all the time. And there’s no doubt that they have helped our marriage (when we apply them) and we’re hoping they will help yours.
So, for this Marriage Insight we’re going to include tips that various “experts” have used to help marriages. We hope you’ll read and apply that, which will help your marriage.
If it’s possible, have your spouse read these with you and discuss what you think. And if you don’t feel impressed to discuss them, at least read them, pause to let each one sink in and then see if you can apply any of them to your marriage relationship. These tips are pretty simple to read; but sometimes they can be difficult to apply. Again, see what you think.
Marriage Quotes that Teach:
• A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. (Dave Meurer)
• Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. (Zig Ziglar)
• What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. (Leo Tolstoy)
Here’s a little testimony that shows, yes, your children are watching you (even if you never realized it):
• I asked our boys what they would do if they were married and their wife got mad and treated them mean. Without hesitation, my youngest, declared, “I’d hold her.” How could a 4 year old know the security a woman feels when a pair of strong arms, gently wrap around her? When I’m stressed or worried, my heart immediately softens if my husband simply holds me.
I asked Philip why he would hold her. He explained, “That’s what Dad always says in the ceremony.” Philip had witnessed several of the vow renewal services from our marriage conference weekends. As in a wedding ceremony, Sam leads couples to repeat their vows, “To have and to hold from this day forward.” Unlike many married couples, Philip took these vows literally. (Marriage – The Foundation Newsletter)
• Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love. And they blossom when we love and hold onto the ones we marry. (Tom Mullen)
Here’s something to prayerfully consider. I’ve/we’ve both found this to be a helpful tool that we often use when we’re conflicting with each other:
• Ask yourself, “What difference will this thing we’re fighting about make in ten years? In one year? In a month?” (Unknown)
• Real giving is when we give to our spouses what’s important to them. We give it whether we understand it, like it, agree with it, or not. (Michele Weiner-Davis, Divorce Busting)
• Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. (Antoine De Saint-Exupery)
• One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time. (David Mace)
• Why would a married couple that lives together every day need to date each other? It’s precisely because they live and sleep together every day. (Bill Doherty, Take Back Your Marriage)
• The challenge is to help couples turn “I Do” into “We Can.” (Scott Stanley, prepinc.com)
• To get divorced because love has died, is like selling your car because it’s run out of gas. (Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com)
• Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. (Thomas Edison)
More Quotes that Teach:
• Divorce doesn’t end a family, It reorganizes it. Or, should I say, it complicates it? (Ron Deal, Smart Stepfamilies workshop Smart Marriages Dallas Conference)
• When there are kids involved, there’s no such thing as divorce. (Carl Whitaker)
• So many people have the will to have a strong marriage but don’t have the skill. (Kathy Beirne, Portland Coalition for Marriage Education)
• We must remember that we’re not teaching skills to equip me to get what I want and you to get what you want. Instead we focus on teaching skills that will equip us to keep our relationship, our “us-ness,” and our marriage alive. (Terry Hargrave, The Essential Humility of Marriage)
Here are a few more quotes that hold real truth to them:
• All those “and they lived happily ever after” fairy tale endings need to be changed to “and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy.” (Linda Miles)
• Stephen Covey was asked after a speech about how to forgive someone who has committed adultery. He said the question made him think of the old prayer. “Oh Lord, let me forgive those who sin differently than I do.” (Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)
• One of the greatest achievements in life after being hurt by your spouse is to reach out to forgive the parent of your children. (Unknown)
Here’s a quote we have hanging in our home:
• Getting married is the boldest and most idealistic thing that most of us will ever do. (Gallagher)
Yes, we can enter into marriage with idealistic thoughts. But as we’re told, “Marriage is the real wake up call.” It’s a wake up call to grow up, and lean into growing together (which will take real intentionality), with the Lord as our guide.
This goes with the next marriage quote:
• The development of a good marriage is not a natural process. It is an achievement. (David and Vera Mace)
Yes, it is! We know that from personal experience. We also know that it is not the impossible dream. You CAN build a good marriage with determination, a lot of prayer, God’s leading, and perseverance!
Most Importantly: Keep in Mind:
Above any quotes anyone could ever show you, the Bible has the best! It’s what God expects of us. As you live your life together remember to live out these principles (and the others that are written in the Bible). That is because “The principles for living, that God gives us throughout the Bible, are also the principles for loving each other well in our marriages.”
For example, note and live out the following:
• Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, is it not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
And make sure you “walk in love” within your marriage, as God would have you:
“…Be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)
For Additional Quotes that Teach
We view these quotes (and others we post every day) like little vitamin pills to help you grow in the health of your marriage. They are to be taken in and applied.
We encourage you to check out the daily “marriage vitamins” we make available on our Facebook page. You can find them at: https://www.facebook.com/marriagemissions. You can also sign up for daily tweets at https://twitter.com/mrgmissions. We put these together so spouses can have pro-active marriage tips available to help them every day.
There are all kinds of negative influences attacking our marriages daily. That’s why it’s good to have positive influences coming our way too. We hope they truly do help you.
Please know that we are praying for your marriages.
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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