HAPPY WIFE’S DAY! Yes, I know that in the United States, we just celebrated Mother’s Day on Sunday. But for some moms it was a painful day for one reason or another. However, my husband Steve came up with an idea that kind of can take the sting out of it for some. It did for me.
Yesterday could have been a very painful day me (for reasons I can’t go into here —sorry). To help ease the pain and to re-direct my mind upon the Lord and upon something positive, Steve honored me. He showed an extra dose of love and care for me yesterday.
Happy Wife’s Day
In the morning, sitting on the table was a card waiting for me where we ate breakfast. The weather was gorgeous here, so we sat out on our covered porch. And together we enjoyed the weather, the flowers blooming, watched the birds and lizards and even a bunny while eating. In the card was a beautiful note that expressed his love for me. My husband told me he wanted to honor that entire day as “Happy Wife’s Day.”
He also gave me a gift of money to spend on myself the way I want in the days ahead. This is something he knows I wouldn’t normally do. But I will this time. :)
As soon as I read his note and sensed the spirit in which he wrote it, it was like a kiss from heaven. I was reminded of the scripture in Psalm 85:10. In it God tells us, “Love and faithfulness meet together. Righteousness and peace kiss each other.” I sensed love peacefully giving me a kiss from God and from my husband, to bring a smile to my heart.
I thank God that He gave me such a sensitive husband who knew exactly what I needed when I needed it. We spent a quiet, low-keyed (my choice), yet loving day together (a choice we both made). Did it erase or take away the situation, which has been hurting my heart? No. But by my husband’s kindness, my focus was re-directed (as I participated in the process). So instead of it being an especially difficult day, it was a loving one.
I have a dear friend whose husband essentially did the same for her. It was her first Mother’s Day after her mom had died. He knew it would be especially difficult for her in missing her mom. So he and their adult children (and grandchildren) planned a special weekend away together with his dear wife. This way she could have those she most cherished with her, celebrating together in an entirely different way than in the past. What a kiss from heaven and her family, through this a beautiful gesture of love.
I remember the first Christmas after Steve’s mom died. It was especially difficult because we always spent the holidays together. A friend advised us to find a different way to celebrate together —to change our routine a bit. She suggested that we not have the same type of dinner or go the same places. We were to make a few changes so we could forge new memories. This was to ease the pain of not having her with us a bit.
It DID help. We still missed her, but it wasn’t as melancholy as it would have been we hadn’t made a few changes. We did the same type of thing after my mom died and my brother died, and his dad died. It helped ease the pain a bit.
I’m hoping that if you have a holiday or another type of day coming up that can be difficult for you or your spouse, you will find a way to focus your attention in a different direction. Plan ahead on how you will change the direction of the day. This way you can experience a bit more peace than you might have otherwise. I believe those monumental days can be all the more painful if we don’t look for ways to apply the principles told to us in Philippians 4.
First off, we’re told to “rejoice.” That’s difficult sometimes, but that’s what we’re told to do.
I’ll never forget what my sister-in-law did a short time after my brother died. My brother had finally accepted Christ as his savior less than a year before he died. (He held out for many, many years.) But on his “spiritual birthday —the day of his rebirth,” my sister-in-law gathered some friends and family. She got a cake and threw a party in honor of my brother’s rebirth and his celebration of it in heaven.
Instead of sitting around crying on that day, it was one that was celebrated festively. How I love my sister-in-law all the more for doing that. It was a “Rebirth Day Party” —making it a GREAT day! She really did help us all to “rejoice” even though we missed and miss my brother a lot.
Don’t Be Anxious
In Philippians 4 we’re also told not to “be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I’ve experienced that peace and that “guard” He puts over our hearts when doing what we’re told in that part of the Bible.
There’s a scripture that has helped me many times as I’ve leaned upon it and have done what we’re told in God’s word in Isaiah 26:3 (KJV). We’re promised, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusts in thee.” When my mom was dying I stood all over and bathed in that scriptural promise, applying it to my life. I did experience peace —peace beyond human understanding. I’m doing the same with this and other promises, with more recent heart-breaking circumstances.
Redirect Your Focus
I urge you, as I am doing, to keep directing your focus. Yes, we’re allowed to grieve and cry when hurt. God knows and God cares. Tears can be cleansing. But we should also apply what we’re told in Philippians 4:8-9:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.“
May His peace be upon you as you “think about such things.” And if changing the focus for a time, such as turning Mother’s Day (or another monumental day) into Happy Wife’s or Happy Husband’s Day will help you to “think about such things” and bring you peace, I encourage you to do so.
“This is the day the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
More from Marriage Missions
Filed under: Marriage Blog