The Marriage Box Myth

Empty marriage myth box - AdobeStock_52286842 copyHere is a GREAT quote from an unknown author. It concerns a marriage myth that few people realize. But everyone NEEDS to realize its truth, if our marriages are going to be a good ones.


Most people get married believing a myth. They believe that marriage is a beautiful box full of things they have longed for… companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc.

The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out.

There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage.

A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.

It’s True

Anyone who has been married any amount of time past a week or two, KNOW how very true this is! If we’re serious when we say our wedding vows to “love” each other for the rest of our lives, we need to be proactive in growing our love. It’s important to put what we can into that empty box to grow a wonderful love between us. Lets let go of the myth, and truthfully put in that, which will help our marriages to grow.

It all starts with planting seeds, then watering, and NOT stopping. Sure, life sends us zingers at times that disrupt things. But we can only take from a relationship for so long before it goes into deficit mode of not having anything left in reserve. If we want to receive love, we must give it and grow it.

I hope you and your spouse will read this poem together and talk about it. Steve and I have done that and we TOTALLY agree with the whole premise of what it tells us. We take it seriously. We hope you will too.

Your Mission

If you are having problems in your marriage, make it your mission to find out what you can put into your marriage box. You need to find that, which will help you to love one another as you originally vowed to do. It’s what you promised, and what God would have you (us) do as husbands and wives. Also God want us to do this as His children —those who display His love to the world.

One of the many missions we have in marriage is to live with each other in such a way that our love reveals and reflects the love of Christ. It’s important that as others (including our children) see how we interact with each other, they may say, “I want to know their God better.”

A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.(John 13:34-35)

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.

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