If I (Steve) would have said, “Marriage’s 3 Most Important Words” you would have automatically said, “I Love You.” No doubt, they are important. But Cindy and I want to have you think about six different words. That is because we have learned through our many years of marriage that these words carry a lot of power too. And if we want our marriages to thrive we have to be willing to say them when necessary. The first three are the important words, “I WAS WRONG.”
Author, Steve Goodier says this:
“These are three of life’s most difficult words to say, but they are also three of the most powerful words we can utter. ‘I was wrong’ breaks down barriers between people. It brings estranged people together. And it creates a climate where intimacy and love may flourish. You may be surprised how positively many people respond to the words, ‘I was wrong!’
“Naturally, it is a risk. But to admit when you’re wrong is not to confess that you’re a ‘bad’ person —simply an honest one. Whole and happy lives are built by people who have learned the power of intimacy, in part, through the use of the words ‘I was wrong.’”
The other three powerful words you need to consider this week are “I FORGIVE YOU.” These are linked so closely to “I was wrong.” And when they are combined they are probably the six most powerful words we will ever use in our marriage.
3 Additional Important Words
Bill and Pam Farrell in their book, The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make offer some insight on these three words:
“The most important skill in maintaining unity as a couple is forgiveness. You’ll undoubtedly make mistakes, disappoint one another, and make some poor decisions. No one can deny that these things happen. The only way to keep the relationship growing in the midst of our humanity is to forgive. The Apostle Paul gave us a staggering challenge: ‘Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.‘” (Colossians 3:13)
Pastor Andy Stanley says:
“Forgiveness frees you to go forward in life and forward in all your relationships. Forgiveness is a vertical, private act between you and God. Reconciliation is a horizontal act between people who have been separated by a hurt or grievance. A relationship is more likely to be restored if the offending party says, ‘I’m sorry. Please forgive me. What can I do to make things right again?’”
6 Most Important Words
Those six words, “I was wrong” and “I forgive you” when combined in our marriages are some of the most powerful words in the English language. They can heal a mountain of hurt or pain that has accumulated. Maybe God has spoken to you that He wants you to begin the process of healing your marriage through using these 6 words. We don’t pretend this is easy. But it is necessary!
Lastly, we want to leave you with two scriptures to consider in conjunction with this insight. We’re told in James 5:16:
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man [woman] is powerful.” (I was wrong.)
And we’re told in Ephesians 4:32:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (I forgive you.)
As you practice forgiveness, we pray God’s blessing upon your marriage.
Steve and Cindy Wright
If you need additional help in asking for forgiveness, please go to the Bitterness and Forgiveness topic of this web site. Glean through it (particularly the quotes) and ask God to show you what He would want you to know. We believe you would find it to be very helpful.
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One response to “Marriage’s 6 Most Important Words”
I am separated from my husband who has been in active addiction. I thought if we separated maybe the sobriety would increase. We separated October 31, 2016 and he has yet to maintain over a month of sobriety. On May 1 this year I asked for a no contact except about our daughter. He has continually broken through those boundaries but he has remained sober since that date. This is KILLING me. It hurts so bad. Is it wise to do this no contact. It is not to punish him but to give time and space to heal. I am in Alanon and working through my steps and he is doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I am growing and feel stronger but miss connecting with him.