“Do you swear to speak the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?” That question is asked (in the U.S.) to those who are going to give a testimony in a court of law. And it’s an important one. In the same way, here’s another important question. “Do you want to LIVE BY the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as it pertains to marriage, so help you God?” We hope your answer is also yes (and you mean it)! If it is we encourage you to look at the following Myths vs Truth concerning marriage. It’s important to know the difference, otherwise you (we) might be fooled.
In today’s world we can grab onto a lot of myths that need exposure to the truth of the God’s Word, the Bible. We personally have been fooled by a lot of them. We even carried several myths and lived them out in our own marriage until we found out the truths. And this weekend we’re celebrating 51 years of marriage. YAY God! And we know that dumping out those myths helped us to get here.
So, for this Marriage Insight we’re sharing several myths and then the truths concerning marriage. They are listed in the book, Marriage! The Journey written by Anne Trippe.
Anne includes in the book more explanations concerning these myths; but this is a good start. You can read more, if you obtain the book. And that way you will know if you are living by “the whole truth” and not just something you assume is true. Anne brought out the following Myths and TRUTHS we encourage you to prayerfully consider:
MARRIAGE MYTHS VS. TRUTH
MYTH: I am responsible for my spouse’s or another’s emotional well-being. … I am accountable to God for my spouse.
Each one shall give account of himself to God. (Romans 14:12) I cannot rescue my brother by any means. Each person eats the fruit of his own way. (Proverbs 1:31 and Psalm 49:7)
Additional Myths vs TRUTH
MYTH: My peace is tied to my spouse’s and/or others’ opinions and to my being treated fairly. To be fulfilled, I am entitled to my spouse treating me the way the Lord commands him/her to.
Jesus Christ is my peace and gives me peace. (John 14:27) [+ Ephesians 2:14; Romans 5:1] I am in perfect peace, as my mind is fixed on Him. As I humble myself, I’ll enjoy peace. (Psalm 37:11; Isaiah 26:3) I will remain lonely unless I die to my own way of trying to make things work for me. (John 12:24) He wants to fill me and my loneliness with Himself. I am to find my completeness in Christ. (Colossians 3:3; Ephesians 5:17-18) I’m not entitled to others meeting my needs. My needs are met in Christ. I am complete in Him. He will fill me. (Philippians 4:19; Ephesians 5:17-18; Colossians 2:10)
MYTH: Husbands and wives should complete each other.
Each has been made complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:8-10) [+ Philippians 1:6]
MYTH: I can’t help being depressed and without hope if my circumstances don’t change.
Christ gives me hope and a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. (Psalm 16:11; Psalm 27:14; Isaiah 61:3; Psalm 31:24; Romans 15:13). Hope is not based on circumstances, but is only in Christ. (Romans 15:13; 1 Timothy 1:1; Colossians 1:27) [+ Psalm 100:5; Psalm 73:26]
TRUTH Debunking Marriage Myths
MYTH: If I am treated unfairly, it makes me a doormat.
Even though trials and unfairness will come to all, the Lord has made me who I am. Tribulation and trials will come to all, beginning with God’s people. But Christ has overcome these things on my behalf. (1 Peter 1:6; 1 Peter 4:12; John 16:33) He has plans for my good and desires to satisfy me with good things. (Psalm 103:5; Jeremiah 29:11) After I have experienced a trial, trusting Him, He will establish, strengthen and perfect me. (1 Peter 5:10)
Those reviling my good behavior shall be put to shame. (1 Peter 3:17) As I walk in righteousness, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. (Isaiah 54:17) I am perfect in Christ, and one in Spirit with Him. (Hebrews 10:14; 1 Corinthians 6:17) I have been made accepted by Him. (Ephesians 1:6) Christ died that I would be the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
MYTH: If I punish my spouse or others, then they will love me and give me what I need.
I will eat the fruit of my own way. I will reap what I sow. If I sow to the flesh, I will reap corruption! As I am unselfish and love my spouse and others (sow to the Spirit), I will reap that eternal life of Christ’s sufficiency for me. (Matthew 5:46; Galatians 6:7-8; Proverbs 1:31)
Lastly (for this Marriage Insight):
MYTH: I must “fix and direct” if things are to go right for me and be secure and at peace. (I must control interactions and circumstances.)
God will work all things together for me if I love Him and am called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) He is faithful and will cause it to happen. (1 Thessalonians 5:24) God works His will in the army of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth. (Daniel 4:35) God will accomplish that which concerns me. (Psalm 138:8)
We hope the Lord exposed the myths you have held onto and ministered in His Truth. Today can be a new beginning in your marriage as you allow the truth of God to set you free.
And if you know of additional scriptures that debunk the myths listed above, we hope you will share them with us below. It could help all of us greatly!
May God bless and keep you as you stand upon and live out His TRUTH!
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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